Um.

Aug. 14th, 2013 08:38 pm
I'm like, barely holding on to sanity here, so that's why there's been radio silence.

Apparently to deal with my own crippling sads, I decided to write 2000 words of Stilinski Family Feels to tie into episode 3.11. If you think you'd like to read it, why, I'd love for you to click here and do that.

And if that's not your cuppa, no worries. I'm sorry I'm a bad LJer. =/ I'm mostly on Twitter being an idiot or reblogging pretty pictures on Tumblr.

<3
Trust Fall (67477 words) by Stoney
Chapters: 7/?
Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, Bobby Finstock, Peter Hale, The Alphas, Alan Deaton
Additional Tags: Body Swap, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Derek Feels, Werewolf Stiles Stilinski, The Hale Fire, POV Stiles, POV Derek, Scent Marking, Slow Build, Cuddling & Snuggling
Summary:

Stiles is fairly certain that a case could be made for every bad thing in his life coming back to Peter Hale. This time it's pissing off a powerful witch, who retaliated by swapping Stiles and Derek a la Freaky Friday, because sure. That makes sense. Um, there are GPAs on the line, not to mention the whole thing where his dad wants to shoot Derek on sight. Except who he sees as Derek is Stiles, and Stiles did not sign up for filicide.

Great. Wait...does this mean he's the Alpha until they figure this out? Holy. Shit.
****

Derek had stood in front of the bathroom mirror for a few minutes trying to control the panic as he saw himself as Stiles. As the loud mouthed human friend of the pack. He was going to kill Peter. He was going to kill the witch, then he was going to kill Peter. Maybe even resurrect him again just to kill him all over.

They were going to have to play this cool. They would have to stay calm and focused. Which is of course why the universe threw him into this situation with someone who physically couldn't be calm and focused.

Of course.






So here is my bodyswap fic, based off of this gifset where Tyler and Dylan both said in an interview that they'd like to play the other character. They are too cute for words. I want to put in an additional warning that Kate and Derek's relationship is talked about, and there is an instance of a panic attack.

This was (as all my stories are) beta'd by the incomparable [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse, but any remaining problems or errors fall solely on my shoulders.

If you have any questions about warnings, feel free to comment here, and I'd be happy to go into detail.
*waves* So, my idea of therapy this weekend was to write out 8000 words of a Sterek fic that is growing into a series, and I outlined another fic and I just don't know either, guys.

As I come back online this week (man, do I recommend turning off all notifications to everything online for a mental health break!) I thought I'd put this out there, in case it's interesting to anyone.

Choosing The Road Less Taken, on the AO3, and I think that's the only place I'll put TW fic. Stiles POV, pre-slash (lol), takes place during the finale, will build to M/NC-17. This part is only PG-13/R for mentions on canon violence.

Yeah, I know Glee isn't posted on HDJM and it's because it makes me unbelievably unhappy right now and I kind of have enough things to feel sad about; a show shouldn't be one of them. Thanks for your patience.
So this happened. I'm as shocked as you. This is based on one of my kids having to do this same project. The dolls are uncanny (and a little creepy).

Author: me
Pairing: Klaine, mentions of Brittana
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up through 3.18, but not really
Summary: Blaine is excited for his school project so he can see what it's like to be a parent. And he's about to find out. [Set in S3.]
Warnings: Reality! Panic! Marlon Brando! Cat hair! Angst! And a serious amount of fluff.
A/N: So [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse and I had lunch at the Museum of Natural History in NYC last year and talked about writing stories with kids as they really are and not idealized. And then this happened from an email this morning about our kids. I regret nothing. :D Title is from the tagline for RealLife dolls, and FM is fabulous for tucking my commas in and making me WRITE ALL THE WORDS.

You are the proud temporary parent of a robot mandroid. )
I spent the day writing almost 4000 words of kid-fic. KLAINE KID-FIC. Guys? I frakking HATE kid fic.* Oh, what a perfect little child, and isn't it precious how they cry? The parents always lovingly gaze at one another like, "So little [Purply Prose Name like Ameiliaigh or Randolphe or Doritos Cool Ranch Pay For Our Child's College Jr.] has made an oopsie in their Natural Cloth Organic Diaper, sweetums! Won't you help me as I change it? We can beam down at them, laughing and smiling as we remember how much we love each other whilst tenderly wiping their precious cargo/as you romantically propose to me."

And I of course know that in the real world that means it has sprayed up out of the back of their clothes and onto the white sofa (because in kid-fic they always have adult furniture and HAHAHAHA YOU CANNOT HAVE BEIGE COUCHES ANYMORE, WHAT ON EARTH?!). Sorry if that grosses you out, but that is what happens with actualfax children. And they never shut the hell up. I mean, their loving voices are constantly raised in song and wonder to the heavens.

Um. So. This is a fail-fic. And it makes me laugh really hard. And it's based on Real Life Events involving #2 and her RealLife Doll that she was responsible for in her Human Development class. Best. Birth-control. Ever.

Snerk. I'll post tomorrow. I JUST. What's next, song-fic? FURRIES?!!* KILL ME IF I DO.

*Attn people that want to be offended. You can like whatever you like. Heck, write a billion word fic on that topic if the mood strikes! *I* just don't like it.
Author: Stoney321
Title: The Only Living Boy In New York
Rating: Gen
Word count: >2500
Spoilers: Through 4.01, pure speculation past that
Summary: Kurt in Central Park during the autumn, and a much needed phone call. Warnings: dog slobber.
A/N: Thank you, as always, to [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse for using sharp sticks and poking this until it stopped bleeding red edits. (And for making me turn an email I sent her into a story.) The title is from Simon & Garfunkel's fabulous “Bridge Over Troubled Waters” album, which always makes me think of autumn and the unknown.

The ground beneath it was littered with leaves in crimson and gold. He kicked through the leaves, feeling a bit giddy that this was his life now – walks in Central Park, restaurants where his idols dined, the lights of Broadway just over the horizon )
[livejournal.com profile] crazydiamondsue brought to my attention that The Daily Dot mentioned a piece of crack-fic I wrote a while back, pairing Edward Cullen and Sarah Palin. :D

They don't have the correct link to my story, but I thought I'd share that because I've had a long stretch of rottenness and self-hate (well, self-strong dislike) and that made me laugh and feel good.

I hope you're all having an excellent 4 Day weekend, US-ers and to the rest of you lovelies, that you've enjoyed yours. <3

Boom de yadda boom de yadda....
Title: A Love I Can Be Sure Of (part of WTS verse)
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Not a one.
Word Count: 7200
Warnings: Shower sex? Pruney fingers? NASA jokes? Happy people enjoying each other's bodies?
Summary: You didn't think I'd let the other one-shot be the christening of the new fire station, did you? Pure lovin' under the cut.
A/N: You're welcome for not titling this with any number of cheesy Fireman Puns: It's take a big hose to put out that fire, Firemen Are Hot, etc. Also, THANK YOU to [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse for initially saying that I should follow through on this whole idea and reading and guiding me along the way. And seriously: spend money on shoes and lube. Two places you should never skimp. Title is from Carole King's gorgeous song, "Tonight You're Mine (Completely)" because it makes me happy.

Picks up immediately after THIS, and is a part of the Where There's Smoke 'verse.

They decided to not call anyone that night, to have their engagement remain as something precious and just between them, if only for a few more hours. )
This is what happens when I can't be at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony with my husband (who went on stage thirty minutes ago! LOVE YOU, BABE! But waaah for me.)

Title We'll Call You
Author Some hack, rhymes with Phoney
Rating General
Word Count just under 1900
Summary "See, what you need to understand is that to be a GREAT actor you have to..." *POINTS* Cooper prepares for the MASTER CLASS lesson at McKinley High, reflecting on all of his AMAZING TALENT. *POINTS ELSEWHERE*
A/N Oh my god. This is everything wrong. ALL OF THE WRONG THINGS. Um...I may have experienced working with people like this on various commercial sets. *cough* This is unbeta'd, but I got a laugh out of [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse so here we go.

Cooper had finally figured out that there was a ratio of depth of V-neck to the width of his flawless jawline, and he always made a point to buy shirts that had that magic triangle. )
Author: Stoney
Fandom: Glee (no, really. Well...squint.)
Rating: R, for allusions to war crimes & violence (nothing overtly explicit)
Word Count: 6000
Summary: A side step from the “Where There’s Smoke” universe. This is the story of Sister, the homeless man on Kurt and Rachel’s train. Never forget that every person has a story. (Begins with the Nazi occupation of Serbia.)
Warnings: Bad things happen, and this story mentions many atrocities such as war crimes, ethnic cleansing, how tribal Eastern Europe still is and the hatred that comes from that, and hints at violence towards a particular woman (an o/c.)
A/N: MASSIVE thanks to [livejournal.com profile] no_detective for correcting my Serbian translations so they read properly. :) TRANSLATIONS ARE AT THE END OF THE STORY. Thanks always belong to [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse for encouraging me to not delete things, for tucking my commas in where they belong, and talking to me for hours on end about made up characters.

Um, sorry that I didn’t write oodles of Blaine POV porn? (I’m not in the slightest, actually. Eh, no one is going to read this, I'm coming to terms with it, ha.) Not linking this in the K_B comm since there's no B and the K is with Rachel.

He had never been a political creature; to be political in Eastern Europe after the German-Russian war was almost an act of suicide. )
Author: Stoney
Title: And I Hear It's Good For Your Skin, Too [One-shot] [...probably]
Rating: R for lascivious thoughts, lol
Warnings: You're going to want a massage after this. You should get one, they're boss.
Word Count 5100+
Summary: Blaine Anderson wins an office pool and gets a massage. Hey, guess who his masseur is? Blaine kind of gets into it. A lot.
A/N: This is to put a smile on my lovely [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse who had her first PROPER MASSAGE today. Um, I'm guessing she didn't have this experience. But if she did, I would like to book an appointment at her spa ASAP. Shameless massage shenanigans within, unbeta'd which - I know, I know, shame on me.

Blaine looked around the room, not really sure about any of this. The guys at the office had gone on and on about how great massage was, but Blaine had gotten the impression that Bill had some hot lady that was giving him a MASSAGE massage, and he just felt kind of weird about the whole thing. Getting naked and some stranger putting their hands all over him? And then the stranger turns out to not be some 6' 4” former shot putting Ukrainian woman with a huge wart on her lip, which was less daunting, but... Hmm. Having a really attractive man with a soft and soothing voice wasn't helping, either. )
Author: Stoney
Title: Where There's Smoke [The EPILOGUE]
Rating: Fer Errbody (overall rated M: be old enough to not put me in jail, pls.)
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Wes and David friendship, mentions of former Finn/Rachel
Word Count: 2400/100,000
Warnings: Kurt finally hangs out at the fire station. Guess what happens? (Be prepared, my firefighter daughters, for intense situations)
Summary: Fireman AU. A few months down the road.
A/N: This wouldn't exist (no, truly, I almost deleted it) without the most amazing editor a person could ask for, [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse. Any remaining errors fall squarely on her my shoulders. I AM SO OVERWHELMED BY YOUR RESPONSE. Unbelievably gratifying, thank you so much, each and every one of you.


It wasn’t usually this cold in New York City by November, but the weather apparently didn’t care to stick with the program and was running on a mid-January schedule. )
Author: Stoney
Title: Where There's Smoke [12/12+E]
Rating: Fer Errbody
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Wes and David friendship, mentions of former Finn/Rachel
Word Count: 5100/100,000
Warnings: Kurt finally hangs out at the fire station. Guess what happens? (Be prepared, my firefighter daughters, for intense situations)
Summary: Fireman AU, set 7 years after graduation. Kurt is Kurt, except that he never met Blaine Anderson. Blaine grew up in Brooklyn with his mother and firefighter father. Rachel and Kurt have graduated NYADA, Kurt gained a Masters from Tisch, and now they're in their first post-college apartment together ready to tackle their dreams. Unfortunately, Rachel never learned how to properly cook and almost sets their new house on fire. Enter Dreamy McFirepants.
A/N: This wouldn't exist without the most amazing editor a person could ask for, [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse. Any remaining errors fall squarely on her my shoulders. Also, I am ultimately a romantic, I don't write character death, I love writing happy endings, and Kurt and Rachel live in my dream place in Carroll Gardens (it's modeled after an actual piece of real estate there.) I tried to be as accurate as a visitor to NYC can get, but did take a few liberties with neighborhood bodegas. Also, FringeFest does not currently have a Broadway segment to their lineup, but they should. :)


Kurt had dropped his family back at their hotel with meticulously written instructions for how to get on the subway, how to behave on the subway, who to not speak to on the subway, and how to get to the area by Turtle Pond where his performance would be held. )
Author: Stoney
Title: Where There's Smoke [11/12+E]
Rating: Fer Errbody
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Wes and David friendship, mentions of former Finn/Rachel
Word Count: 10,600/100,000
Warnings: Kurt finally hangs out at the fire station. Guess what happens? (Be prepared, my firefighter daughters, for intense situations)
Summary: Fireman AU, set 7 years after graduation. Kurt is Kurt, except that he never met Blaine Anderson. Blaine grew up in Brooklyn with his mother and firefighter father. Rachel and Kurt have graduated NYADA, Kurt gained a Masters from Tisch, and now they're in their first post-college apartment together ready to tackle their dreams. Unfortunately, Rachel never learned how to properly cook and almost sets their new house on fire. Enter Dreamy McFirepants.
A/N: This wouldn't exist without the most amazing editor a person could ask for, [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse. Any remaining errors fall squarely on her my shoulders. Also, I am ultimately a romantic, I don't write character death, I love writing happy endings, and Kurt and Rachel live in my dream place in Carroll Gardens (it's modeled after an actual piece of real estate there.) I tried to be as accurate as a visitor to NYC can get, but did take a few liberties with neighborhood bodegas. Also, FringeFest does not currently have a Broadway segment to their lineup, but they should. :)


Blaine kept futzing with the collar of his shirt, trying to make it lay just right. Kurt playfully brushed his hands away so he could take over the task. 'Stop worrying, it's just my dad.' )
Author: Stoney
Title: Where There's Smoke [10/12+]
Rating: Fer Errbody
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Wes and David friendship, mentions of former Finn/Rachel
Word Count: 6800/100,000
Warnings: Kurt finally hangs out at the fire station. Guess what happens? (Be prepared, my firefighter daughters, for intense situations)
Summary: Fireman AU, set 7 years after graduation. Kurt is Kurt, except that he never met Blaine Anderson. Blaine grew up in Brooklyn with his mother and firefighter father. Rachel and Kurt have graduated NYADA, Kurt gained a Masters from Tisch, and now they're in their first post-college apartment together ready to tackle their dreams. Unfortunately, Rachel never learned how to properly cook and almost sets their new house on fire. Enter Dreamy McFirepants.
A/N: This wouldn't exist without the most amazing editor a person could ask for, [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse. Any remaining errors fall squarely on her my shoulders. :D Also, I am ultimately a romantic, I don't like character death, I love writing happy endings, and Kurt and Rachel live in my dream place in Carroll Gardens (it's modeled after a real piece of real estate there.) I tried to be as accurate as a visitor to NYC can get, but did take a few liberties with neighborhood bodegas.


Kurt worked into the late hours of the night, making up for lost time. He hadn't stopped to give Rachel a full report when she came home, just held his cheek out for her kiss then promised her more tomorrow. He had even switched his phone to mute to keep from being distracted. As a result, when he woke up the next morning he saw several frantic texts from Peter )
Author: Stoney
Title: Where There's Smoke [9/12+]
Rating: NC-17 Dirty bass line...
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Wes and David friendship, mentions of former Finn/Rachel
Word Count:10,400/100,000
Warnings: Kurt finally hangs out at the fire station. Guess what happens? (Be prepared, my firefighter daughters, for intense situations)
Summary: Fireman AU, set 7 years after graduation. Kurt is Kurt, except that he never met Blaine Anderson. Blaine grew up in Brooklyn with his mother and firefighter father. Rachel and Kurt have graduated NYADA, Kurt gained a Masters from Tisch, and now they're in their first post-college apartment together ready to tackle their dreams. Unfortunately, Rachel never learned how to properly cook and almost sets their new house on fire. Enter Dreamy McFirepants.
A/N: This wouldn't exist without the most amazing editor a person could ask for, [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse. Any remaining errors fall squarely on her my shoulders. :D Also, I am ultimately a romantic, I don't like character death, I love writing happy endings, and Kurt and Rachel live in my dream place in Carroll Gardens (it's modeled after a real piece of real estate there.) I tried to be as accurate as a visitor to NYC can get, but did take a few liberties with neighborhood bodegas.


Back when it was just him and his father, taking care of his dad – and to some extent, himself – had just come naturally. At first it was out of necessity, but it became who he now was, someone that stared down fear and kept going. It hadn't occurred to him that he could have left before Blaine had returned; he hadn't needed to make sure Blaine had been taken care of, he just...did it. He wanted to take care of Blaine, not because Blaine couldn't do for himself – he clearly could – but because Kurt could. And he really, really wanted to. )
Author: Stoney
Title: Where There's Smoke [8/12+]
Rating: This part R for intense action and nudity [zomg nekkid butts]
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Wes and David friendship, mentions of former Finn/Rachel
Word Count: 10,500/100,000
Warnings: Kurt finally hangs out at the fire station. Guess what happens? (Be prepared, my firefighter daughters, for intense situations)
Summary: Fireman AU, set 7 years after graduation. Kurt is Kurt, except that he never met Blaine Anderson. Blaine grew up in Brooklyn with his mother and firefighter father. Rachel and Kurt have graduated NYADA, Kurt gained a Masters from Tisch, and now they're in their first post-college apartment together ready to tackle their dreams. Unfortunately, Rachel never learned how to properly cook and almost sets their new house on fire. Enter Dreamy McFirepants.
A/N: This wouldn't exist without the most amazing editor a person could ask for, [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse. Any remaining errors fall squarely on her my shoulders. :D Also, I am ultimately a romantic, I don't like character death, I love writing happy endings, and Kurt and Rachel live in my dream place in Carroll Gardens (it's modeled after a real piece of real estate there.) I tried to be as accurate as a visitor to NYC can get, but did take a few liberties with neighborhood bodegas.

(Speaking of [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse - if you think you like how I write Kurt and Blaine, you really should read everything she's written. I learned at her knee.)


Kurt spent the next morning floating from task to task, unable to keep his mind focused. )
Author: Stoney
Title: Where There's Smoke [7/12+]
Rating: PG-13 generally, but moving to NC-17 in places (will point out, accordingly, for those averse)
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Wes and David friendship, mentions of former Finn/Rachel
Word Count: 7800/100,000
Warnings: Dealing with the grief of loss due to loved ones perishing while fighting fires.
Summary: Fireman AU, set 7 years after graduation. Kurt is Kurt, except that he never met Blaine Anderson. Blaine grew up in Brooklyn with his mother and firefighter father. Rachel and Kurt have graduated NYADA, Kurt gained a Masters from Tisch, and now they're in their first post-college apartment together ready to tackle their dreams. Unfortunately, Rachel never learned how to properly cook and almost sets their new house on fire. Enter Dreamy McFirepants.
A/N: This wouldn't exist without the most amazing editor a person could ask for, [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse. Any remaining errors fall squarely on her my shoulders. :D Also, I am ultimately a romantic, I don't like character death, I love writing happy endings, and Kurt and Rachel live in my dream place in Carroll Gardens (it's modeled after a real piece of real estate there.) I tried to be as accurate as a visitor to NYC can get, but did take a few liberties with neighborhood bodegas.


The one where there's a mud mask, deja vu, a hot date and a confession. )
Author: Stoney
Title: Where There's Smoke [6/12+]
Rating: PG-13 generally, but moving to NC-17 in places (will point out, accordingly, for those averse)
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Wes and David friendship, mentions of former Finn/Rachel
Word Count: 3300/100,000
Warnings: abstract discussion of a deadly fire NOT involving our characters
Summary: Fireman AU, set 7 years after graduation. Kurt is Kurt, except that he never met Blaine Anderson. Blaine grew up in Brooklyn with his mother and firefighter father. Rachel and Kurt have graduated NYADA, Kurt gained a Masters from Tisch, and now they're in their first post-college apartment together ready to tackle their dreams. Unfortunately, Rachel never learned how to properly cook and almost sets their new house on fire. Enter Dreamy McFirepants.
A/N: This wouldn't exist without the most amazing editor a person could ask for, [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse. Any remaining errors fall squarely on her my shoulders. :D Also, I am ultimately a romantic, I don't like character death, I love writing happy endings, and Kurt and Rachel live in my dream place in Carroll Gardens (it's modeled after a real piece of real estate there.) I tried to be as accurate as a visitor to NYC can get, but did take a few liberties with neighborhood bodegas.


Kurt knew this wasn’t some cute guy with a crooked smile at a coffee shop wanting to go to the movies. This wasn’t the interesting boy from his Stagecraft class who wanted to hold hands and talk about three-dimensional stage design. This was someone that would be significant. Someone that would either the one big regret of his life for not seeing where it could go, or the one big regret for not walking away before their hearts were shattered. )
Author: Stoney
Title: Where There's Smoke [5/12+]
Rating: PG-13 generally, but moving to NC-17 in places (will point out, accordingly, for those averse)
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine, Wes and David friendship, mentions of former Finn/Rachel
Word Count: 9300/100,000
Warnings:Mentions of homophobic treatment by a parent, stories of fires - no one dies. :)
Summary: Fireman AU, set 7 years after graduation. Kurt is Kurt, except that he never met Blaine Anderson. Blaine grew up in Brooklyn with his mother and firefighter father. Rachel and Kurt have graduated NYADA, Kurt gained a Masters from Tisch, and now they're in their first post-college apartment together ready to tackle their dreams. Unfortunately, Rachel never learned how to properly cook and almost sets their new house on fire. Enter Dreamy McFirepants.
A/N: This wouldn't exist without the most amazing editor a person could ask for, [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse. Any remaining errors fall squarely on her my shoulders. :D Also, I am ultimately a romantic, I don't like character death, I love writing happy endings, and Kurt and Rachel live in my dream place in Carroll Gardens (it's modeled after a real piece of real estate there.) I tried to be as accurate as a visitor to NYC can get, but did take a few liberties with neighborhood bodegas.

'Kurt,’ Rachel said quietly, waiting for him to look at her. ‘When it's right, you know it. It doesn't matter when it happens. Just that it does.’ She gave his hands a squeeze and then wrapped hers around her coffee mug for a sip, returning one back for him to hold while he thought. ‘Besides, life-threatening situations count as like, three dates. You two are on your fifth date by now, emotionally speaking.' )

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