So this happened during our comment fest last night.

Author: Stoney
Fandom: GLEE
Rating: PG
Summary: You know the chorus that sings during the show? They can hear that. At McKinley. (Short fic)
Disclaimer: This is fanfiction, no money, no ownership by me, yadda yadda.
A/N: This is a TOE DIP. It's been 2 years since I wrote fanfiction, omg.

The Bumper Music )
For my awesome sister [livejournal.com profile] dampersnspoons who gave me the prompt, "Tracy Jordan and Jenna Maroney having an opportunity to be in a Jerry Bruckheimer remake of "Mandingo"?"

General cast of 30 Rock represented.

Mandigo: The Reboot )
Inspired by this thread with the ever delightful [livejournal.com profile] slasheuse. Any mistakes (including a failure to include a Croydon facelift on Bella) are all hers. I mean, mine. Ha ha ha. I'm heading out for the airport in a few hours, so be good everyone! I need all of my expendable cash for my own bail money, so I can't help you this weekend. :D

Note: a few dirty words here and there, if you don't know what a chav is, think Da Ali G, Vicky Pollard, or Lauren "I ain't bovvered." Or take a Jersey Shore person and plunk them in England, listen to the dialect change. :) Also see: Snatch, which is one of my favorite movies of all time.

[ETA] If you'd like to listen, this story is now a podcast.

Before we begin, I like to imagine our lovers this way...



It's Twilite, Innit? )
ETA (I just uploaded a ton of icons for this show and I'm super happy about it, even though we are a small group, apparently. (Where's the IASiP fandom??)

Due to our ongoing ice storms here, I spent yesterday re-watching all of Seasons 3 and 4 yesterday of IASiP and this idea wouldn't go away. It's been a long time since I've wrote fic, and an even longer time since I tried to write balls-out funny fic. I got my fingers crossed on this one. Throw your boundaries out the window before reading, please. Links to watch full eps are in the A/N, btw.

Title: Dennis and Dee Go All The Way
Author: Stoney321
Fandom: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Summary: The Gang will do anything for a fast buck.
Spoilers The show doesn’t really work like that, but I’d say up through the McPoyles holding the Gang hostage.
A/N: This is TV-MA, but the family that actually enjoys this sort of thing isn’t the Reynolds. Also, if you’re not watching this show, why on earth not? Is it because every single person is reprehensible, dishonest, and antagonistic? Pfft. That’s what makes it so funny. Twincest is implied, as is mutual non-con, just try and figure that out. It's nothing that isn't already implied in the show, though.


Click for Fic! )
Yeah, you read that right. This just hit me this morning, so while I drank my coffee and turned MSNBC to a dull roar, this came out. (I'm leaving early in the morning for NYC, so I won't be around until Monday. Have a good weekend, everyone!)

Title: Northern Lights.
Who?: Sarah/Edward, General Audiences
Huh?: What if Edward had tried love before Bella?
What?: A series of letters from Edward to the woman who holds his esteem and ardor.

To Sarah, my beloved, dulcet darling... )
I'm seriously geeking out over the Large Hadron Collider and immediately thought of Andrew's reaction to it. And came up with this nerd-reference-filled fic. I don't watch Stargate Atlantis or SG1, but I do know the original movie and how to use the SG Wiki. ;)

[ETA] I forgot to point out where my fantastic 70's Exploitation-style icon came from. Check out the whole series (made by my sister) here.


Title: Andrew Wells and the Large Hadron Collider
Author: Stoney, derp
Fandom: BtVS, SGA, every sci-fi show ever. :D
Rating: General (no cussin, killin, or cuttin up)
Summary: Andrew has the honor of starting up the LHC and detailing how the science behind it came to humans. Heeeeee.
Notes: Particle physics are purposely misunderstood by Andrew, not that many of you will care. *g* There's an obscure reference to an old holiday carol I re-wrote for Buffy fen, and I'm a dork. Sue me. Or rather, don't, because I make no money from this. I only make paper boats from this.

Sixty nations contributed to scientific advance. And one demon demension and the Atlantians, too. )
With massive apologies to L.M. Montgomery. And those who love her.

It seems I forgot the birthday of one of the most important people in my life (no lie) by the name of [livejournal.com profile] germaine_pet. For that, she gets a heart-warming story of a little red-headed girl named Vinnie, and the local boy that wants to be a doctor and have her/him for a wife, James.

Vinnie of Green Gables, a tale of orphans and love and slates broken over heads )
I just realized that I most likely will not be able to post this tomorrow, EntreNous's official birthday, as I anticipate being smacked out on the bed with pain killers. Whooo! Ahem. Since she's my biggest cheerleader for this tail, (wah waaah) I dedicate the soapiest chapter to her. Um, I know this isn't the best gift, but I can't guarantee an autograph from NB or a personal phone call. (Can you imagine??) So I give you: Dynasty with Horses! (Side note, the "everything Dynasty" page is www.shoulderpads.net, ahahaha!!) <3

Title: The Edge of Neight, aka StallionCrest 7/8 (As the Stall Turns? Days of our Rides? General Horsepital?)
Author: Stoney
Rating: PG-13/All Audiences (if you watch TV soaps, you're good)
Summary: Did Fancy drown? Did Skidoodle perform a flawless half-gainer? Did Top O'The Line start drinking again? Will Ransom Paycheck be able to stud again? Tune in and find out!
Warnings: DID I MENTION THIS WAS A SOAP OPERA ABOUT HORSES? There will be: Kidnappings! Spanish! Amnesia! Deserted Islands! Evil twin cousins! Cold, cruel stares as the camera fades to black! Intense looks! Burros! Thesaurus abuse! Loads of adjectives! A beautiful and meticulously made banner so you can get a visual! Ahaha.

Chapters: One Two Three Four Five Six

Click for the banner and theme song, or skip below to go straight to the story )

It was a dark and stormy night, the ocean tossed and turned, and somewhere, a forgotten mule cried out in anguish... )

ILUENTRENOUS! I'll "see" you all Monday with tales of Red Carpet splendor!
One: Y'ARR. Two: Check here for some Buffyverse Pirate fics. Three: Here be some pirate fics I've written over the past few years.

Connor and the Pyrate Spoike, a dirty take on Wynken, Blinken, and Nod, y'arrr.
You Had a Charming Air, All Cheap And Debonair, a Pirates of the Carribean gen tale that now be AU, but a story I'd set me heart on for love o' a good fish tale, if I may say so.

Um... If you didn't know already, it's Talk Like A Pirate Day, ye scurvy dogs! I completely forgot until this morn', so this here fic fer the day's celebratin' might be a bit rusty, and I've only written The Office one o'r time, but hopefully ye'll laugh and make a braw sound. :) (Also, this is for [livejournal.com profile] southernbangel as she's had a hell of a week. Rated PG for Gen. Unbeta'd)

Title: Darryl Won't Let Us Call The Warehouse 'The Poopdeck'
Author: Stoney
Fandom: The Office (US version)
Warnin' Set durin' the third season, arrr. Towards the end, mates. 'Tis Gen Fic, so no throwing skirts up and over, y'arr.
What This Here Tale Be About: Ye'll have to get me to walk the plank to confess it, says I.

Darryl Won't Let Us Call The Warehouse 'The Poopdeck'  )
Look. I get that y'all either aren't interested in a horse sopa opera, or the jokes aren't hitting you, or you're super interested in all the draaaaaaaaaama of LJ. But dammit, this fic makes me snort milk out of my nose from laughing, and so? I post. Also, the Mexican soccer announcer joke from the last chapter is one of the funniest jokes I've ever written. I even got to work in (legitimately!) a "meanwhile, back at the ranch" joke. WHATEVER PEOPLE. *plays with dolls alone, so very alone* Ahaha. Ha.

Title: The Edge of Neight, aka StallionCrest 6/8 (As the Stall Turns? Days of our Rides? General Horsepital? The Colt and the Beautiful?)
Author: Stoney
Rating: PG-13/All Audiences (if you watch TV soaps, you're good)
Summary: Who is the horse in black?! What happened to Ransom? Is he paralyzed? Did Fancy ruin her handmade Vera Wang, crystal studded wedding dress? Did any of you get the bridle bridal joke? Are you even reading this sentence?
Warnings: DID I MENTION THIS WAS A SOAP OPERA ABOUT HORSES? There will be: Kidnappings! Spanish! Amnesia! Deserted Islands! Evil twins! Cold, cruel stares as the camera fades to black! Intense looks! Burros! Thesaurus abuse! Loads of adjectives! A beautiful and meticulously made banner so you can get a visual! Ahaha.

Chapters: One Two Three Four Five

Click for the banner and theme song, or skip below to go straight to the story )

We left off with Ransom taking a crowbar to the spine, an illicit donkey/thoroughbred affair resulting in a missing mule, a kidnapped bride and a horse in black. Can there be more drama for our heroes and villains? Click to find out, zomg! )
It's making me laugh. And like... two other people. Whatever, y'all. I have written maybe the best joke of my LIFE in this chapter. I <3 soap operas. haha.

Title: The Edge of Neight, aka StallionCrest 5/8 (As the Stall Turns? Days of our Rides? General Horsepital?)
Author: Stoney
Rating: PG-13/All Audiences (if you watch TV soaps, you're good)
Summary: The Wedding! Intrigue! Spanish mourning from a tender-hearted burro! A MAN IN BLACK!
Feedback: Yes, please! Oh, I thought that said feed BAG. I like those.
Warnings: DID I MENTION THIS WAS A SOAP OPERA ABOUT HORSES? There will be: Kidnappings! Spanish! Amnesia! Deserted Islands! Evil twins! Cold, cruel stares as the camera fades to black! Intense looks! Burros! Thesaurus abuse! Loads of adjectives! A beautiful and meticulously made banner so you can get a visual! Ahaha.

Chapters: One Two Three Four


Click for the banner and theme song, or skip below to go straight to the story )

We left off with Skidoodle admitting his dark past, Top O'The Line's scheming and fretting, Clover 'Sandy-ing' it up for Justin Time, and Fancy hoping for a reprieve. Will she get it? Click to find out, zomg! )
If you're allergic to humor, I'll need to see a doctor's note, mm'kay?

Title: The Edge of Neight, aka StallionCrest 4/8
Author: Stoney
Rating: PG-13/All Audiences (if you watch TV soaps, you're good)
Summary:Clover wants Justin. Justin wants Stormy. Stormy wants Skidoodle. Skidoodle wants Fancy. Ransom Paycheck wants Fancy! Fancy wants to be free! Top O'The Line wants to get to Mordor and destroy the One Ring... wait. *whinny*
Feedback: Yes, please! Oh, I thought that said feed BAG. I like those.
Warnings: DID I MENTION THIS WAS A SOAP OPERA ABOUT HORSES? There will be: amnesia! Deserted Islands! Evil twins! Cold, cruel stares as the camera fades to black! Intense looks! Burros! Thesaurus abuse! Loads of adjectives! Throw backs to General Horsepital, All My Children and my favorite, Days of Our Lives! Ahahaha.

Chapters: One Two Three


Click for the banner and theme song, or skip below to go straight to the story )

We last left with Clover wanting to slut it up to win the horse of her dreams, Top O'The Line visiting a MYSTERIOUS SOMEONE in a ramshackle shed, Ransom and Skidoodle in a testosterone-off, and Fancy being beautiful, wanted, and all alone. So alone. And now... The Edge Of Neight - Part 4. )
This is going up every day while I finish/work on my other fics. Aren't you all so happy about it!? *crickets*

Title: The Edge of Neight, aka StallionCrest 3/8
Author: Stoney
Rating: PG-13/All Audiences (if you watch TV soaps, you're good)
Summary: Things are peaceful at the ranch until a good-for-nothing show horse joins the herd and destroys the plans already laid in place. Or is he there to free an untamed heart? *whinny*
Feedback: Yes, please! It's like a nosebag full of delicious oats and a good rub down after a hard ride. [/implication to your inference].
Warnings: DID I MENTION THIS WAS A (clean) SOAP OPERA ABOUT HORSES? There will be: comas! Deserted Islands! Evil twins! Cold, cruel stares as the camera fades to black! Intense looks! Burros! Thesaurus abuse! Loads of adjectives! Also: I do not support use of Premarin or abusing circus horses or stereotyping burros. Carry on. :D

Chapters: One Two

Click for the banner and theme song, or skip below to go straight to the story )

The Edge Of Neight - Part 3. Check the rating: PG-13 )
Title: Speed-Chav Face Off, aka Are You Calling Me A Pikey?
Author: Stoney
Fandom: Little Britain/Catherine Tate Show crossover (PG-13)
Summary: Vicky Pollard and Lauren Cooper. Chav Death Match. Two will enter the cage, but only one can win. But look at my face, am I bovvered?
A/N: If you don't know who either of these characters are, please catch up with the times. You'll thank me later. (YouTube has loads of clips.) Also, massive thanks to [livejournal.com profile] gingerpig for Britpicking this for me. All mistakes are mine, feel free to pipe up if you find a mistake, but you are well bad if you call me out, oh my god. (Hahaha, I love feedback in all forms. Gimmie!)

Click for Fi - Have I Finished Though? I ain't finished. *pause* Fic. )
Inspired by some... AMAZING bad!fic I read today, and to cheer up [livejournal.com profile] dancetomato. (And secretly to make everyone laugh. Come on. Bad!fic is AWESOME. This is what happens when I'm bored.) Let's take a trope and make it fic of the OOC/AU variety!

Title: Spikerella, a Love Story For the Ages
Author: Stoney
Fandom: OOC/AU BtVS fic (because let's face it: it's a fandom of its own now, isn't it?)
Warnings: Check your brain at the door. Abuse of "little one," misspelt character names, weeping men, girlification of Spike, and there are two benevolent toads within.
A/N: Also, apologies to Monty Python for taking a reference and sticking it in here. Heh.
Gracious Slave-like Love: To Kita0610 for being the original coiner of the term "Little One." ;)

*sprinkles magic fairy dust on you!* )
It's important to know a few things: 1) I'm not right in the head. 2) re-read #1. 3) this is just some good, clean fun. 4) I can't stay serious for long. 5) the hypotenuse squared, c2, is equal to the sum of the two sides a2 and b2. (Ha, caught my wonky wording, Sal!)

There is now artwork (under the cut) and a theme song! Borrowed, but nonetheless. :D

Title: The Edge of Neight, aka Stallion Crest 2/8
Author: Stoney
Rating: PG/All Audiences/No goats, they're assholes.
Summary: Things are peaceful at the ranch until a good-for-nothing show pony joins the herd and destroys the plans already laid in place. Or is he there to free an untamed heart? *whinny*
Feedback: Yes, please! It's like a nosebag full of delicious oats, or a Not-A-Carrot.
Warnings: DID I MENTION THIS WAS A (clean) SOAP OPERA ABOUT HORSES? There will be: comas! Deserted Islands! Evil twins! Cold, cruel stares as the camera fades to black! Intense looks! Burros! Tears. Tears coursing down my face as I laughed myself sick writing this. Here's to hoping you laugh, too.

Did you miss Part One? THEN YOU MISSED EVERYTHING.


Click for the banner and theme song, or skip below to go straight to the story )

The Edge Of Neight - Part 2. Check the rating: PG )
You're all witnesses. Okay, I got nothing in my house done yesterday because I wrote fic based on the latest wank.

And really, isn't it all one big soap opera? *intense look into the camera during my close-up*

Title: The Edge of Neight, aka Stallioncrest 1/8
Author: Stoney
Rating: PG/All Audiences/No goats, they're assholes.
Summary: Things are peaceful at the ranch until a good-for-nothing show horse joins the herd and destroys the plans already laid in place. Or is he there to free an untamed heart? *whinny*
Feedback: Yes, please! It's like a nosebag full of delicious oats, or a Not-A-Carrot.
Warnings: DID I MENTION THIS WAS A (clean) SOAP OPERA ABOUT HORSES? There will be: comas! Deserted Islands! Evil twins! Cold,cruel stares as the camera fades to black! Intense looks! Burros! Tears. Tears coursing down my face as I laughed myself sick writing this. Here's to hoping you laugh, too. And note: I'm making fun of tropes that exist in soap operas, including, er, racial stereotypes to put it bluntly. The short bus version: I'm making fun of their blatant racism/stupidity, capice?


Click here for the banner and theme song, or click below to dive right in )


The Edge Of Neight - NOT DIRTY. Check the rating: PG )

(If you don't know what Dressage is, here's a video. I swear, one of the announcers is Alan Rickman...)
It is cold, but the sun is out and the tank is clean. I have a few more moving trips planned today with my friend, and her new place is just SO ADORABLE. It's about the size of her old living and dining room put together, but that's just how ridiculously large her old house was. My friend is coming back to life with every box unpacked, and it's awesome to see. Today is the day we move her little kids in to their new rooms, so it should be... exciting. (They're doing a great job of making the kids feel loved and wanted, so I have high hopes for today being a day of smiles.)

Enough of that, I'm sure you're thinking. On to the crack! I'm finding it ridiculously easy to crossover Scrubs and Angel, which... I know. That makes no sense. BUT SOMEHOW IT DOES. and I'm re-writing The Wizard of Oz with the cast of Friends, but that's neither here nor there.

Prompt 3: Spike, stealing blood, The Janitor )

Prompt #4: Lorne, Worthless Peons )
What, you all have lives today? Sorry for the twice in one day rule breakage. Wait, NO I'M NOT! I have itchy fingers and no ideas.

Won't someone think of the children give me the most cracktastic prompt you can think of? I can't promise I'll write them all, but I'll give it the ol' college try. Star Wars, Buffy, Angel, PotC, Adult Swim um... Scrubs. Any and all.

GO! *passes everyone muffins*

[livejournal.com profile] bastardsnow

"Red Headed Step-Child of Crossovers - Fortunately, A Part of This Story Contains Angel and a Lightsaber." <- twenty points to those who get the reference

Scrubs, AtS, Star Wars

****

Angel shifted in the hard plastic chair, kicking his half-hidden battle axe accidentally. The kid in the rough brown robe sitting across from him stared. He really hoped Gunn was okay; this fluorescent light made his skin look paler than normal and his highlights just looked harsh. A pretty Dominican (or was she Puerto Rican?) nurse asked him some general questions about what he had eaten previously, if he had any known allergies, and what the hell was that, a tooth sticking out of his shoulder?

He mumbled some answers, his eyes tracking two guys skipping down the hallway. Both were wearing scrubs, one in blue, the other in green. The nurse ran off after them. Angel had second thoughts about this place. He knew they needed to spread out their hospital stays to keep questions down, but skipping? Skipping doctors? True, one of them had fantastic hair. He wondered briefly what products the blue doctor used.

"Nice axe."

The kid in the brown robe - what, was he into D&D? - nodded with his chin.

"Uh, thanks. It's a costume." Angel winced.

"Yeah, so's this." The kid pulled out a weird flashlight. It made a really cool vvvoooom noise. And sliced the plastic chair next to the kid in half. He was definitely going to have to put Wesley to finding one of those.

"Your friend hurt?" This kid was really into intense staring.

"Uh, yeah. What are you here for?"

The kid shrugged. "Got sent here. I'm waiting for Obi-Wan to show up. He's the only one the council trusts. Also, I think this is some sort of limbo while I'm being put into a tin can."

"Riiiight."

The kid sighed and scowled. "I want to be back with Padmè. She's so beautiful. She's not at all like sand. I hate sand."

"You hate...sand?"

"Mmm hmm. It's coarse and irritating. She's not."

"That's, uh, that's a good thing. Loving someone because they're not irritating. Like... sand."

"Do you have anyone? Loving is the very essence of what a Jedi stands for."

Okay, so this kid was seriously into his Dungeons and Dragons. Or whatever they were calling it this decade. "Uh- no. Not anymore."

"Why not?"

"Look, can we just sit here? Like in an elevator. I don't want small talk. Just look at the numbers, okay?"

"That bad, huh?"

"Bad? Let's see. She killed me, sent me to a hell dimension, brought me back, let me drink her blood, oh, and was over two hundred years younger than me. The music she made me listen to! Did I mention the killing and sending me to a hell dimension? Because that's the important part. Oh, and if we're ever 'together' I go homicidal. So there's that."

"I killed a bunch of babies and kids so she wouldn't die in childbirth, then suspected her of turning me into the Jedi Council, then I tried to kill her with my bare hands. So my best friend cut off my legs and left me on lava crust where I burned up. I really have no idea how I got here."

"Yeah, but she killed me. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that part."

The skipping doctors came back down the hall, both with fudge-cicles. Angel was sure now that coming to this hospital was a bad idea.

"I had to pretend my wife wasn't my wife, because Jedi aren't allowed to marry. AND I KILLED HER." The kid's eyes were beginning to glow red. Angel fingered his axe.

"Okay, kid, okay. That's pretty harsh, what with your best friend cutting off your legs. So, what are those, then?" Angel pointed at the kid's legs with his axe. To make a point. Both of them.

"I --. Huh."

The kid seized up in a rictus and began to glow. "Where's... Padmè?" He choked out each word, which sounded deep. Like a black dude who's name Angel couldn't put a finger on. Why was he thinking of that Disney movie with the lions?

"Nooooooooooo!" The kid practically shrieked, and disappeared like in a fire implosion. Huh. Still only the fourth weirdest thing Angel had seen today.
**********


Prompt #2 - Gunn and Turk discuss their bosses )

Got all the prompts I can handle now, thanks!
Even though most of you are scrolling past, gaddangit, I love this story.

Title: Double Truckin' The Tricky Two [3/?]
Author: Stoney
Rating:Tall enough to reach the bar, old enough to read the fic
Fandoms: Squidbillies/HARRY POTTER. It was inevitable.
Summary: Early's boy Rusty has magic in 'im. Some fancy pants school sends him an acceptance letter. Also: SQUIDS. And hair-doos. Boiled peanuts optional.
Spoilers: Only for Book 6 of Harry Potter, but not like me telling you that Dumbledore died on page 596. It's not a spoiler like that.
A/N:It helps if you know that Squidbillies is an Adult Swim show about a rednecked squid family, with narration. And it helps if you can hear that voice in your head. Or you know... if you don't hear any voices in your head, that's... that's probably better off in the long run. OH MY GOD. Just... CRACK ahead. As in, in my mouth, being exhaled. All over my LJ.

Did you miss the beginning? (On purpose?)
How about the second chapter?

PART THREE: Insured By Smith & Wesson )

June 2017

S M T W T F S
    123
4 5678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
2526 27282930 

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 28th, 2017 12:46 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios