YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. It's always time for that. Unless you just finished running a marathon and it's 115F outside. That's probably not when you want to eat this. BUT ALL OTHER TIMES = YES.

I played with Ina Garten's recipe because she is awesome and I want to sit in her lap and have her read me a bedtime story and feed me cookies. But let's get back to lobster and pasta.

Recipe for Lobster Mac-n-Cheese )

If you don't like the way I write recipes, well, that's because you like things "coherent" and "organized." Whatever.

Also, I'm...liking a LOT of Teen Wolf this season, even if there is stuff that is problematic. I mean, the showrunner is awful, but the show? Not shabby. (And I'm avoiding the LOADS of wank online like the plague.)

ION, I have reached a sort of max-density when it comes to pictures of Tyler Hoechlin. I now feel a physical ache in my chest at the sight of him and have to scroll past. THERE IS TOO MUCH ATTRACTIVE/NICE BOY STUFF HAPPENING and it hurts me, guys. It hurts me.
1. Thank you so much for the kind words of support last week! Summation: no idea still. He was made to wear a heart monitor vest thing for 48 hours so they could track its rhythms in addition to having an ultrasound on his heart. And we have no idea. (He also passed out again, but fortunately was a) at home and b) wearing the vest so it caught it. Hopefully we'll hear something soon.)

2. I spent the weekend close to him (just in case) and blasted through the Little House on the Prairie series. Wow, is Ma awful and I truly believe Laura worked through some aggression by writing those stories. Also, I could go for some Cap Garland fic, hey-now.

3. While drunk-tweeting the Golden Globes last night, I got a text from Matt Paxton, saying he wanted to get mildly drunk with me some time (not in a freaky way) <-- His actual words, ahaha. We went back and forth joking, etc. when he said this:

"i never told you, i was at some event and someone mentioned you and I was like..i know, i follow her. it was in LA and very random.
but we both got crazy excited that we both thought you were such a great writer and we thought it was like our own secret

I may have made noises not unlike a porpoise sucking on helium. He is such a nice guy. And it's still crazy to me that the nice Guy from the Tee Vees reads my stuff and chats with me. Boosted my spirits quite a lot. <3

(And now I go back to writing, because this AoGG/TW story has legs of its own. And I want to finish it soon, ugh.)
Okay, that wasn't the actual question, but it fits the subject bar. :) (And hello! I am alive and mostly well, and getting things sorted now that the holiday has passed. WHEW.) From this post, originally.

[ profile] redaly asked me: You always seem to have lots of projects on the go: the potential gardening show, stallioncrest, various bits of film work, HDJM. Where would you like each of them to go? Which of them would you most like to see come off in a big way? I actually had a very supportive and excellent conversation with my brother-in-law yesterday about some of these, lifting my spirits enough to want to talk about them.

Growing up my mother used to say, "Jack of all trades," and meant it as a compliment to herself, skipping the essential part of that saying: Master of none. That's how I've felt about myself most of my life: yeah, I can do some things, but I'm not amazing at any of them. You know when you see that amazing pianist, painter, diver, what-the-hell-ever and you're so blown away by their focus and talent? Le sigh and le longing. <-- not actual French.

While I would love to sell Stallioncrest and make a million people laugh (I actually have to re-shoot the whole thing because there were technical issues with the camera, we found out, and blah blah I just do), and I would love for HDJM to be Vulture, but you know, us, there are two projects I wish with everything in me would actually come to fruition: Oh My Heck being a quality read, good enough to publish, and for Mastering the Garden - or whatever name it evolves into - to be on a TV near you.

The gardening show... I know that subject, inside and out, backwards and forwards, and more importantly, I'm not some pompous ass who wants to impress you with what I know. I want YOU to know things. I want YOU to enjoy the process, to understand why things didn't work and get back on that horse. That's the joy for me. Plus, I'm kind of funny at times, and hey, a funny and informative show would be cool, says I. This is also the hardest project to get going, because it doesn't matter that I want it to happen - I need a crew. I need the scripts shot. I need a channel/network to buy it once that's done. So. *shrug* I'm not going to give up that idea, though. It's a keeper. :)

ION, my MiL did NOT serve carrot dimes* on Christmas Eve, so I'm counting it as a Christmas Miracle. I had a great holiday of cooking with my sister, laughing with my family, and having a great hair day. It's the little things. :)

(Thank you for all the emails and messages of love. They really meant a lot to me during a very hard time. But I will also say that I get overwhelmed feeling responsible for getting back to every one in a timely manner, and that's a daunting task. I WILL, but know that I appreciate the thought until you get official confirmation from me in your inbox. <3)

*Carrot Dimes = Satan's nipples. Frozen, cut carrot slices marinated in a can of tomato sauce with a diced red onion, heated through.

Tomorrow's questions include favorite scenes from Love, Actually and my writing process. OMG, STAY TUNED. (lol)
Oh my gosh. Well, if this isn't the greatest (and most difficult!) question to ask me, I don't know what is. [ profile] midnightsjane asked me: "what your dream garden would look like if you had all the time and resources needed to create it. What would you include, and what would you leave out?"

WELL. *cracks knuckles* Loads of pics under the cut. :D My dream landscape - we're going beyond just a garden, yo. )

If you made it through that, mazel. :D ION, I want to point you to the original post asking for your questions as well as reminding you that we are still happily taking any and all donations you might be able to give to the writers of HDJM. ALL OF THAT CAN BE FOUND HERE.

Tomorrow's question: 3 defining moments of myself + Derek Hale's thoughts on sweaters. Ha! <3
HELLO FRIENDS. Hey, remember how I needed a nice, relaxing vacation because of how non-stop stressful my life has been? Ha. HA HA HA, said the universe. If it weren't for an AMAZING show and an even more AMAZING friend, I would have curled into a ball and rolled into traffic.

Here's the short version, which has no pep or zazz. Massive ice storm, Dallas was shut down, and I was trapped in the airport. Eventually got out to LA, had no luggage, had only the things on my back, and had a red carpet event to attend. Had a great time at said red carpet event, was with the best friend ever who didn't mind our vacation turning into a shopping for toiletries and underwear trip, came home and my eventually found luggage fell apart in my driveway and some of my brand new skin care products exploded. But I honestly enjoyed myself, when I wasn't curled into a ball, contemplating rolling into traffic. I really love [ profile] flaming_muse a lot, and I'm incredibly grateful for the RIDICULOUSLY FABULOUS tickets for Trevor Live that she was able to secure. Like, I was sitting IN FRONT OF celebrities, my seats were so much better than most. <3


Awesome: when I got out of the car at my house late yesterday, the whole top half of my suitcase fell off. AT LEAST IT HAPPENED WHEN I WAS HOME. (And hey, I ended up with new clothes and makeup, so...) I would like to state that I know I am very fortunate to be in a position in life where I CAN replace things from lost luggage. If I couldn't... I would have just flat out given up, walked into the ocean and taken a deep breath. Well, that would be the case if I also hadn't had my very own Miss Muse and her strong hand to hold onto. :)

And now I'm home, there's laundry and cleaning piled up, and I have story ideas to write. NOT TOO SHABBY. HEY GUYS HEY.
Ahem. Behold my list here. )



Oct. 24th, 2013 04:27 pm
I seem to have started an Anne of Green Gables AU in the world of Teen Wolf? To the tune of 2000 5700 words already and counting? And let me tell you, Sheriff Stilinksi is a PERFECT BLEND of Matthew and Marilla. AND JACKSON IS AN AMAZING JOSIE PYE. AND HARRIS IS MR. PHILLIPS.

Let's just say that Lydia is as beautiful and elegant as "The Lady of Chaillot" until the handsome Derek Hale (Gilbert) comes back after missing school for a few years due to his family's situation, etc. and Scott is his BOSOM FRIEND and he's never HAD ONE OF THOSE BEFORE and--

I have lost my damn mind. Yay!!
BUNDT LOVERS! Wait, come back!!

Ahaha, guys, I love big bundts and I cannot lie. YEAH. I'M OFFICIALLY REVERTING TO DAD HUMOR. But it's important! Williams-Sonoma has a Star of David bundt pan! THIS IS RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS. Because I'm interested in making delicious cake for my Jewish friends, you see.

In other news, I have made 2 pounds (literally) of hummus today because apparently that is my favorite snack? Toasted bread with a thick schmear of hummus? NOM NOM.

I can't get anything done and so I online window shop. /pathetic

This post brought to you by a person hiding from Duck Dynasty playing in the other room. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
A few years ago, a friend in the acting community here gave me a copy of a movie he wrote and directed to possibly review on HDJM to get some press out. I watched it. And there was no way I was going to give it a positive review. Technically it was fine. Solid, if very "film school project-y."


FEMINIST RANT - mentions of rape, as that is the subject of said movie, there are no details under the cut of that act. )
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is really bad. Not "Sharknado" bad (because that's so bad it's good) but commits the worse crime of being boring. Of being unimaginative. There is nothing new to say, nothing new to do, nothing new they're going to explore. I said last night on Twitter that it would have been an amazing show in 1986. It would have felt like Indiana Jones on TV.

But in 2013? No. And I'm SAD about that. (And I seriously do not get what has errbody fanning themselves over Coulson. He looks like a tax adjuster.)

ION, I needed a break from writing OMH (because I'm stuck on bad parts of my life and how to tell that without it sucking) so I switched over to writing fanfic (Sterek). And I wanted it to be short but I don't know how it's going to be shorter than 25K. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE.

Someone make Sally Derg stop being an idiot when the bus pulls up with the kids, please. OMG SHUT UP DOGGIE STAHP.
So I'm finding myself with extremely limited computer time this week, so I'm just going to say that it's going to be hard for me to comment, read, etc. It's nothing against you, it's not necessarily how I want to be this week, but life sometimes supersedes wishes.

I hope you're having an excellent Monday, and if you're not, tell Monday to go stuff it. :D
(I have a few comments left to be replied in yesterday's post, which I will get to. AND THANK YOU, EVERYONE. The overwhelming support of this little community on LJ has been one of my favorite aspects of life for years, now.) <3

SO LET'S TALK CRUMPETS. I love them, would eat them almost daily, and now will be making them.

Remember how I mentioned the "wild yeast " project? It's coming along swimmingly, to the point where I have two bathes of starter going. (I can't bear to throw any out.) WELL GUESS WHAT, I DON'T HAVE TO. Each time I "feed" my starter (once it's refrigerated I won't be doing this daily) I have to scoop some out to discard. NOPE. That goes into a Mason jar I keep in the fridge now. When I have a good cup and change, I do this in a separate bowl:

1 C starter (leave some for the next time, right?)
1 tsp sugar
pinch of salt


Add 1/2 tsp of baking soda. It's going to bubble like crazy, which is good. Drop 1/4 C into each of those rings, cook on medium low for several minutes (about 5) until the top is set. Pull that muh-fuh onto a plate, slather with good butter and honey and DEVOUR. (They can also be frozen and then toasted later. Or refrigerate and toasted. Or just eaten. Possibly you could use them as oven mitts, but I don't know why you would. They would NOT make good Frisbees, I mean, the diameter's all wrong, not to mention how crumpets aren't aerodynamic at ALL.)

ION, I baked off two loaves of bread today with a scoop of my baby starter and I can already taste the difference. As can the kids, seeing as one loaf is almost completely gone. =/
ION #2, I tried a goat's milk cheese with balsamic vinegar soaked into the rind, and you'd think it would be delicious. You would be wrong. *ptooey!*
ION #3, I made oxtails again this weekend, and I want to heap praises on the Asian market where I bought them. So much better quality than the high end Whole Foods, let me tell you. PLUS (and this is the important part) they cut the large sections in half, so everything is sized uniformly. Cooked so much faster, and I think the exposed marrow gave it even more flavor. I have leftover sauce that we're eating tonight. I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FREAKING DELICIOUS THIS SAUCE IS.

1) I learned that shed hair (meaning, the "root" isn't there) only has mitochrondrial DNA in it, not nucleic (what would be in your blood, bone, tissues, etc) DNA.

2) I am attempting to make my own starter (like sourdough starter) with wild yeast in the air. This is day 1, so we'll see how it goes. the science behind it, if you're interested )

3) I heard a clip of Tyler Hoechlin sighing the word "fuck" into a mic and now I'm pregnant. That is just how damn masculine that guy is. [I am not actually pregnant. But I would like to practice getting that way with him. DON'T MAKE THIS WEIRD.]

4) The kids are back in school now (second week!) and I'm trying to get my footing on a routine again, and I have GOT to schedule time to write without distractions. It'll take me a few days to get the hang of it, but I need it. NEED.

5) I also need a way to become independently wealthy straight away. Feel free to offer me tips. (I already have "hooking" at the top of my list. Plus, who doesn't want to lay down on the job? Bonus: no need to buy a uniform.)

6) I WOULD LIKE TO GO SPEND SIX WEEKS TRAMPING AROUND THE COUNTRYSIDE. Any country's side, really. Backside especially. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, SPAIN *eyebrow waggle*

I might be going insane. Or I'm hungry. One of those things.
I've been called stupid [LITERALLY. THEY CALLED ME STUPID AND I ALMOST MURDERED SOMEONE], I've been flat out lied to, and I've had to make a thousand phone calls (slight exaggeration) and I haaaaaaate making phone calls.

Here are the friends seeing me through the night. They're awesome friends. (Erm, Inspiri was my friend last night, too. I'm a two glass at a time purist. EXCEPT UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES SUCH AS TODAY.)


HEY DON'T JUDGE ME IS BACK ONLINE. (Clear your cache if you're not seeing it.) Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to drink more wine and read filthy porn. /coping mechanism
HDJM IS DOWN. I know. It's been >36 hours of everyone (webhost, DNS folks, etc) pointing fingers at everyone else and I KNOW.

And the people who have messaged "WTF?" in a pissy way like I owe you shit can GTFO. I run this thing on my own dime, my writers provide you free entertainment on their own time, and it's high quality entertainment, let me just tell you.

Those of you who kindly and patiently asked if things were okay are the best. (And fortunately you're in the majority. <3)

FINGERS CROSSED IT WILL GET FIXED ASAP. (We have become a high traffic site since Sam started recapping Vikings and Hannibal, and the Pacific Rim recap is off the charts meaning we have an incredibly high number of new readers. Which is awesome. But we're not on a NatGeo size server, so PLEASE BE PATIENT.)

[insert picture of squirrel in coveralls and a ball cap while holding wrench as it stands in front of a bunch of electrocuted wires]
That is a lie - there's no such thing. BUT THERE SHOULD BE. Poll is under a cut, because there are multiple images. POLL OF IMPORTANCE REGARDING THINGS YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH. )

Gimmie a bit and I'll reply to your comments from yesterday. I have a To Do list today that is stupid huge. <3
Because this gives me an eye twitch. (I don't SAY anything, I just don't like it. We'll see if you can figure out what I mean.)
[Poll #1927926]

LOOK I'M JUST SAYING THAT IF SOMEONE DOES YOUR FLIPPING LAUNDRY FOR YOU, STICK TO THE PLAN. ETA: And so I don't offend anyone: YOU SHOULD TAKE THIS POLL SERIOUSLY. Wait, I mean take this poll as a sign of my insanity and as a reflection on how I want my house to be run, not anyone else's. I truly don't judge people for the way they run their home, because it's YOUR HOME. <3

In other news, school starts in less than three weeks and the Mr. is traveling more and I am pretty excited about the upcoming solitude!

Somehow I have to make a lemon-coconut cake look like a Very Specific My Little Pony for Emily's 12th birthday tomorrow and it might just be cut like one with gumdrop eyes because come the hell on, kid.


Jul. 10th, 2013 10:22 am
It is gross and humid today (55% which, okay, for somewhere like Houston that's desert levels but it was 19% a few days ago!) and I don't like it and I have to get stuff done outside and BOO HISS. I do believe I'll reward myself with some delicious tacos from my fave taco stand as a reward.


I've been absent, I know, but I have reasons. 1: Stallioncrest. We're almost done filming ep 1, we should wrap tonight, then it's all editing and adding in the sound, yadda. It's been a fun experience learning how to do all of the production stuff, since normally my involvement is standing on my mark and delivering lines. Writing the script, formatting it to a screenplay, turning that into a shot sheet, filming, then editing all of that, etc. is actually a lot of fun. I could totally get into the production side of things.

If you want to follow along on this journey, we've made a website ( that should be loaded up with footage by this weekend.

In other news, I filmed my cat playing fetch, because it's adorable (to me) and she's really cute and sweet and the best cat I've ever had. She plays FETCH. For HOURS. <3 I was doing laundry, so ignore the pile of sheets.


I suck.

Jul. 2nd, 2013 10:16 am
....if you're lucky. HEY NOW, WINK-A -DOODLE!

Okay, so here's the thing: I'm terrible about replying to comments after a certain point in the day, because I LITERALLY cannot sit on my butt more than I already do, and - yeah. I'm sorry if I haven't replied to a comment. It's nothing against you, just your timing in when you comment and my butt needing me to not smash it into a chair.

Things happening:
  • the gardening show filming is on hiatus because it's approximately the temperature of Satan's nut sack around here. And the film crews I have access to Do Not Like. (And since they're doing it for free, I can't really complain.)
  • Stallioncrest RIDES. OMG, my writing partner and I have spent the past week building our own studio (including a camera dolly, stages, production booth) and it. is. GLORIOUS.
  • We're getting a lot of behind the scenes stuff up on the internet, and if you're curious, you can follow our twitter account, @VivaElBee (El - Laura, Bee - Brian.)
  • Yesterday I got the theme song roughly scored for a demo, finalized "costumes" for the characters, and got a fake leg sculpted for the ever important, "YOU BASTARD!" face slap shots.
  • Today we're filming the "Starring: ____" moments for the intro with all of our cast, and if you're thinking of the way they did that on The Love Boat, then you're thinking correctly.

This is all the stuff keeping me happy and occupied as everything in my personal life continues to be a millstone around my neck, so YAY SILLY HORSES.

WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH YOU? *chinfists* (OH: and blanket statement for those who have asked previously. I do not mind at all if you follow my personal twitter or tumblr. Follow, unfollow, it's your internet time. :D)

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