1. I continue to love Modern Family. And I want to be COH-lum-beeyahn Gloria. How is she made to be that pretty? And she's funny, too, DAMMIT. She's ONE MONTH older than me, btw. Ay yi yi. Ella es muy guapa, si? (And she's a natural BLONDE. I know.) I have thinky thoughts on that show, but I have no time for them today.

2. Don't judge me, but I freaking love Cougar Town, too. I KNOW. Here's the thing: it's really funny and bizarre, and hey, that's just like me! Courtney Cox is still the weak link and I'll tell you why: (I'm all about the statements followed by colons today) she has dead eyes. Her role is a really "quirky" person surrounded by more "quirky" types, and yet she has soulless eyes that don't DO anything. It's almost distracting to me. But the show has Busy Phillips, and I love her. She has a totally cute lithp. She gets to throw out funny things like "I don't look like my dad, either. I look like my dad's handsome brother that lived with us before my mom got pregnant with me." Then later refers to him as Uncle-Dad, which makes me think of Arrested Development which is never a bad thing. "Hello, Father Uncle Dad." I <3 U Buster. And the kid that plays Cox's son is hilarious, and has awesome comic timing. Courtney: step up and stop with the Botox, it's killing your SOUL.

3. Speaking of comic timing, I rocked out an audition yesterday and got everyone to crack up, which was great because the two auditions that went before me? CRICKETS. So. Here's hoping that I've not just jinxed myself. (I was auditioning for a commercial in which I play a weird girl that uses her savings from purchasing The Product to buy horrendous clothes and shows them off. They liked my interpretation of Muriel's Wedding-type glee, I suppose. Lol.)

4. I made the BFF read Christopher McDougall's book Born to Run and it inspired her to sign up for an ultra marathon. Just a "Huh, maybe I could run longer after the normal redonk marathon length of 26.2..." And she DID. And she came in FIRST. All hills, too. 31 miles, so this was a BABY ultra. She's all into the upcoming 50 miler, which makes my legs want to break off and beat me about the head. That girl... built for running, I tell you. Not me! I was built for drinking and fart jokes. Pull my finger.

5. Two video auditions today that I need to prep for, one is as a casting director, and I'm wondering how ballsy I want to be, because ultimately casting directors will be picking me. Hmm. (Tightrope!) The other is for a busy body gossip type, and I think that show is trying to be a knock off of Desperate Housewives, which is close to my goal of starring in a soap opera (Spanish, preferably) because I want to be knocked unconscious only to wake up from a coma with amnesia on a deserted island with my evil twin and two lovers that I can't recall while being possessed by Satan and my Bitterest Enemy is about to take over my Advertising Agency and turning my only child against me. (Did I get them all?) Oh, right: and a guy with a guitaron dressed as a bee plays hilarious chords every time my Best Friend that is Quirky shows up on screen. Ay yi yi!

6. I am in love with EVERY SINGLE BIKE in this catalog. Oh, Italy, why must you make such beautiful things that I can't afford? $1700 for a bike to tool about the neighborhood? *cry* Speaking of bikes, the littlest Schmusen (Emily) and I have been taking nightly bike rides after dinner, which is very nice because that's when the bunnies come out. It's hard to ride a bike and clap hands, give it a try.

7. I need to bake bread today, and this is going to get a run for our regular daily. I'll let you know how it turns out. Good whole wheat bread recipes are hard to come by (that don't require a million steps.)

8. I forgot what eight was for, nine nine nine for my lost cod [I'm sure I'll sniff it out eventually], 10, 10, 10, 10 for everything everything everything everything!

...I think I finally broke. (And HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDREA!!)

June 2017

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