Hump Day

Dec. 12th, 2012 10:57 am
Dear flist: I am sorry that I have been so random lately. Apparently I am driving off readers in droves. I fully support your choice to make your reading list a place of joy, and I send you well wishes on your internet journeys. *hankies*

That's a reminder that it's always okay to take me off your lists/feeds/etc. It's YOUR internet time. I'm picky, too. I get it.

ION, last night I started reading a Sterek fic where it involved forced mating due to the werewolves having their annual "heat" and while there is that part of me that is ashamed that I made spastic grabby hands at that, I remembered that there is no kink shaming allowed. Unless it's stuff that is, you know, morally repugnant and highly illegal world-wide.

So let's have fun talking about bullet-proof kinks/story tropes! We haven't done this in a while. Mine are:
  • first time, especially when things are awkward
  • frantic, desperate quickies where they feel like they could die if they don't touch the other
  • forced marriages (oh my god.)
  • forced coupling for the betterment of a people/to save a loved one's life
  • Tarzan (lol)
  • opposites attract only to find out just how similar they are underneath

What are yours? And if they are in the Glee or Teen Wolf fandoms (ooh, or movie Sherlock fandom) PLEASE TELL ME AND LINK ME. :)

*chin fists, beaming*

This post brought to you by my need to look at my icon of Stiles Stilinski coupled with the words Hump Day.
*dives back into writing this stoopid soul mate fic oh my god*
*remembers I produced 2500 words today so far, so quit yer yappin', me*
First, ze links. We had an exciting weekend at HDJM because we have our first advertisers going up, slowly but surely. Be sure to click on our supporters when you go for a visit (and check their fabulous products, etc. More to come this week.) Also, SPARTACUS IS BACK! And Liz is back with her breathless and energetic recaps.

Merlin! Melody has this week's recap waiting for you and your juicy thoughts.

And thank you again to everyone that is helping us get noticed by tweeting links, tumbling, liking - it's just a click for you, but it helps us TREMENDOUSLY. <3

My poor kid was sick all through the weekend, but rallied mid-day yesterday (his actual birthday) and we had a small family dinner. He'll get to have a proper party this coming weekend, but still. Poor buddy.

But now for my shock. SHOCK, I SAY! So, most of y'all that have been around here for a while know that I LOVE reading crappy fanfic. Like, really really bad. Comically bad. "He egressed in the seat of her audience" bad. (That remains one of my favorites. That and "he put his think in her butt.") That stuff is hilarious and entertaining. Then there are the stories that you think, "Huh, that's really boring." Or, "What the hell? This is the story everyone is going on about? REALLY?" I have opinions. I am going to hang them out to dry. )

Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to write a story about Abraham Lincoln trying to make a light bulb. And then I am going to write it in real time so it takes you 24 hours to read about his 24 hours.
Man, do I love to travel. Like, if that was a job, professional trip taker, I would be the mo-fo Director of Hell Yes. (I would insist on funky cool titles in said company.)

Before I say anything, though, I want to extend a HUGE THANK YOU to two people for helping me take a vacation: [ profile] sheafrotherdon and "lj user="moosesal"> for pinch hitting for me at Hey, Don't Judge Me with recaps for Hoarders and Top Chef, respectively. Please check out the wonderful job they each did. I had not one worry while away, knowing the two of them would do a wonderful job. And hey, lookee there! I WAS RIGHT. :D

And now for something completely different. New York is always wonderful. I mean, duh. New York and San Francisco are my go-to towns where I never have a bad time. Met up with [ profile] flaming_muse and had the confirmation that she is in the Tribe of Joseph (where are my Anne Shirley girls? Holler!) I only travel with people that I know I'm going to enjoy in multiple situations, and yep, I was right with her. Not one bad moment, not one awkward pause, and I really could have used another three days with her, I'm just saying.

Day One: The first night/show was Sleep No More. Keep in mind that I'm writing up full reviews for HDJM, so I'm not going into detail here. But I will say.... )

Day Two was the Met, specifically the Egyptian Exhibit with my personal docent, [ profile] flaming_muse. I know rudimentary things about Egypt, so it was so fun to have her point out tiny details in carvings, in the type of writing used, etc. So, so fun. Not to mention we talked non-stop about everything under the sun, and were eating delicious foods and in beautiful surroundings. LOVELY.

And then we headed to the Al Hirschfeld Theater for the Darren Criss Experience. Lol. And...well, it was enjoyable to a good degree? But. )

Day Three, or: When Stoney Lost Her Damn Mind At Book of Mormon, The Musical. But first, the Cloisters! )

My flight was delayed by an hour and a half, so I spent a long time at the airport reading and people watching, then had a neighbor on my flight back. RANDOM? BUT NOW: I am getting the shakes from lack of breakfast and racing to type this up, so here I'll stop and divert the rest of my energies into the HDJM reviews of the shows.

IN SUMMATION: GREAT TRIP WAS GREAT. I love my friends. The End.

Grab Bag.

Apr. 4th, 2011 10:47 am
Got my first mini-sun burn this weekend while putting in the garden. YAY WARMTH. Except for how my shoulders are a little ouchie. I always forget to hit my shoulder blades with the sun screen. One day that skin will turn into a pair of leathery angel wings and my dream of becoming the embodiment of an Affliction t-shirt will come true.

Had a film showing at the Dallas International Film Festival on Saturday night, it was sold out, there was a line around the block, and the audience really seemed to love it. Great! Keep your eyes peeled for Wuss at a festival near you, it's Fest season and it's picking up steam. A short film I'm really proud of has it's world premiere on Wednesday, written by and starring my brother in law and featuring yours truly, Narcissism & Me (only one person has gotten the joke so far, which is disappointing) and you can check out the trailer here. It's dark and hilarious, and I can't wait to see it with an audience. I'll post festival dates for that, and the shorts that have been showing so far have all been stellar. If you've never been to a Shorts Festival, you're missing out.

Tried to watch Mildred Pierce on HBO, and without going into any real spoilers, I'll just say that it was the most tedious hour and change of television I've had to endure in a long time. Didn't finish, didn't care to. Dreary, petulant characters with trumped up drama that just doesn't stand the test of time. Oh, noes, poor divorced woman has to (gasp!) wait tables!? It's hard and we should feel bad for her not being able to carry more than one plate on her body and her job is embarrassing to her bratty shit of a daughter? Wah. Good hell, how pathetic. If you're into the show, alrighty, I thought it was absolutely ridiculous, overly dramatic, scenes were too long, the acting was over the top in places. I expect more from Kate Winslet and HBO, I'm just saying.

I need to get some trail shoes this week because on Friday (here's the antidote to the ear worm that may or may not have popped up in your head at that word, also, creepy video of Friday is CREEPY) [ profile] dovil gets in town all the way from New Zealand! WOO and a HOO. She'll be shown the delights of North Texas (read: shopping, eating, drinking) and then we head out on Monday to hit the Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, and then a weekend of debauchery in Las Vegas with [ profile] marenfic. We've been planning this trip for a year now, and I swear to god, if she screws this up for me, I am going to straight up murder her ass and leave her in the desert. Ahahaha. It's funny because it's inevitable.

HI GUYS IT IS MONDAY AND WINDY OUT AND I HATE THE WIND. Which means I will be goofing around indoors. How are you? *chin fists*
I just wrote the meanest (and funniest) line I've ever written. Yes, I'm finally writing up my review of Jersey Shore. I'll hopefully have two tomorrow. GOLD. COMEDY GOLD. (In my head.)

Look, I don't like Sammi Sweetheart, is what I'm saying. [But I love the show.] I need to take all the words off this icon and just make it a fist pump.

Also, I get super irritated by people being pedants on LJ. You don't need to make people get their words just right, this ain't school. I typically don't like pedantic behavior, in the first place. We don't need to focus on the meaning of the word "it" you know? LOOSEN UP.

Now I'm singing "Pedant, pedant, pedantpedantpedant!" to the Pink Panther theme song. That's how my brain works. The kids are off tomorrow, so it's late night wine and TV for me, yay!

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES. JERSEY SHORE. Oh yeah, Community, etc. etc. In conclusion, glug glug.

(Thanks [ profile] entrenous88 for the baby otter!! <3)
Snow day yesterday (6 inches for us! That's huge.) and today is a balmy 19. Gah! Someone got their Nor'easter in my Texas, feel free to take it back. Actually, it's not windy today like yesterday, so it's nice to see the snow everywhere. It'll be gone in a few days, I'm sure.

Things what cropped up in my think boxer:

1. Jersey Shore's series premiere on Thursday was EPIC. I have a massive post dedicated to it, of course, and I honestly didn't think this season would be good. "It's jumped the shark," I said to myself. WRONG. I love that "fame" hasn't changed these "people." Oh man, glorious, glorious crazytown.

2. Hoarders last night made me sadface. Rat man loves rats )

3. Not making me sadface is this HILARIOUS recipe from Paula Deen. (Seen on The Daily What.) Even funnier, comments like this: AHAHAHAHA TROLLS ARE FUNNY. )

Seriously, the more I read, the harder I laughed. As [ profile] handsomespeck says, I laughed so hard it felt like I'd been kicked in the chest. Almost funnier than that, are the "recipes similar to this" on the side bar. Recipes just like her "Butter + canned peas = English peas" recipe include "Seared Wild Striped Bass with Sauteed Spring Vegetables" and "Sea Scallops with Thai Scented Pea Puree." Really. Really? That's just like butter + CANNED peas, heat 'em and eat 'em? Hilarious. I kind of think Food TV is trolling her a bit.

*massive exhale* I seriously had to wipe tears from my face. I love it when people are purposely ridiculous. Yay humor! Speaking of, I need to finish up this write up of Jersey Shore and the people that don't realize they're ridiculous. (I MEAN, THE SEV* IS HANGING WITH PAULY D NOW. Be honest, you totally want to grudge hump him. Is that just me? I've got paint thinner to remove any "tan" that might rub off on me, though. I'm a planner.)

[ETA Ack, my Brisbanite mates! I'm so sorry for the horrendous flooding. We're just getting some video here in the states, and it's just horrendous. STAY HIGH, STAY DRY.
Before I go off on the horrible, horrible living conditions (and mental state) of the people on Hoarders last night, I want to remind everyone that Southland - TNT's best show on air - comes back tonight. Check your local listings, watch watch watch. It's an outstanding drama, and it happens to be a cop drama written by/conceived by women. Awesome.

Anyway, let me tell you about how there is a booming business here in North Texas for repairing paint jobs that have been wrecked due to grackle poop. I live where the birds come for winter, so there are ridiculous flocks of noisy, poopy birds all winter long. Oh, delightful. And there's a lot of room here. A lot of birds pooping on your car hood, say, won't be pleasant, but the whole block won't stink to high heaven. You certainly wouldn't use your fingernail to chip it off your car, right? Nasty, RIGHT? We're all agreeing that bird poop is gross, gross stuff? Why, oh why don't all people think so? KILL IT. KILL IT WITH FIRE. By which I mean the hoarder, not the poor animals. Yeah, animals were hoarded, this won't end well, etc. etc. warning etc. )

TODAY I WILL CLEAN ALL THE THINGS. And today is tamale rolling day. Holy crow, my house smells like nothing but cumin. I think I'll need to air the house out, because I might get confused and think that's a dirty smell. GAH CLEAN ALL THE THINGS. ALL OF THEM. Lysol douches, anyone? (I just laid my head on my table and laughed at that.)

And because I'm sympathetic to those that read this, here is a palate cleanser for you. AHAHAHA, brb, laughing still. (Mar, I love your tumblr.)
Friday Night Light spoilers about Tim Riggins are all over my damn flist! Well there goes my enjoyment of catching the whole season now. >:(

GUYS. Some of us don't know where he is *cough*Iwontsaymoreforotherswhohaven'tbeenspoiled*cough* and don't appreciate finding out in recs, etc.


Yeah, yeah, I know I'm behind on watching that show, but good lord. [ETA] I'm not talking about things behind a cut, because that would be my own fault. (I didn't want those awesome folks that are great about putting spoilers behind cuts to think I was being pissy about that, too, because that would be ridiculous of me.)

ION, Chicken lady on Hoarders tonight. My house will be SO CLEAN, OMG. 200 chickens. IN HER HOUSE. (Do y'all have any idea how damn filthy chickens are?) This might top that weird spoiled meat/raw meat eating family from Iowa you guys. I WILL REPORT ON THE MONSTROSITY TOMORROW.

...and yeah, I'm being spammy but that's because y'all aren't and this space needs to be used like your mom.
That episode of Friends where Ross makes everyone listen to his crappy synthesizer music makes me LOL every time. That was my junior high, yo, everyone had Casios and tried to recreate the sounds of Depeche Mode and Siouxie & the Banshees. And honestly, most of the dubstep/80s inspired music that's out right now sounds so terrible to me. It's like the point of the music is to have the tinniest, thinnest, crappiest sounding electronica playing and then ridiculously earnest (and embarrassingly navel-gazing) lyrics whined in a nasal, breathy tone. No me gusta. Also, I think I used up all of the adverbs and adjectives, sorry.

And then there was this mix of a song by a band [who's very picture makes me want to punch them in the Bert and Ernie sweaters. Oh, you're so hip and fresh! Bleh.] BUT THE SONG. All remixed by Matthew Dear, and let me tell you, if you see his name attached to anything, it's going to be golden. Honest. [The other mix on that page, not so much.]

I have very strong opinions on music, let me show you them, lol. OOOOH, the biggest BIGGEST BIGGEST pet peeve is when you can hear someone's damn fingers sliding up the guitar strings. NO. GAH, and I heard one song where that was like... on purpose. EVERY. DAMN. NOTE. "Skreeeeee! C SSKREEEEEE! E-flat." But that diminished 9TH? That's a man's chord. Ahahaha.

When you [general you] do that god awful sliding you have just told me that 1) you don't take your "art" seriously, 2) you are a hack, and 3) you don't practice strengthening your fingers like all stringed instrument players should. Before you try and tell me why it's okay (or why you don't notice it, etc.) let me stop you right there. My father and sisters are honest-to-god virtuosos on the guitar, both classical and acoustic. Dad trained with THE classical guitarists of the 20th century. You wouldn't be allowed to take your guitar out of the CASE if they knew you did that, esp. if you did that on purpose.

So. If you think you're a guitarist and still make that back-tooth pain skreeee! noise as you slide your fingers around, you've got a long way to go, dudebro. Get those fingers crisp and clean. Doesn't matter what style of music you're into, the best of all genres know that.

That was nice and random, huh? Nuh uh, this is. I made 15 foot long curtains this weekend. With grommet/rings to hang them by. They are GORGEOUS. I've only had the fabric in my craft closet for... a year? Well, it's because I have a crappy sewing machine (a Brother, aka "so you want to learn to sew!" machine.) I had to borrow my s-mom's bad ass Pfaff to get through the heavy material and was so sad to give it back to her that I decided to go hunt around and see if I could find a used one for a reasonable price. (Um, they are pricey. As in 2 - 3 GRAND. Damn.) I happened on a store that really needed to break even before the year was out and got an ABSOLUTE SCORE on a top of the line machine. I'm talking 60% off the retail price, just over his cost for the machine. Oh my god, I wriggled my tush all the way home. Like, I might make my own towels, or some shit. That's how happy I am. (Lol, no I won't. I think.)

AM I A PARTY ANIMAL, OR WHAT? Sewing and complaining, I'm almost your Nana. Wait, let me finish up making gingersnaps today and buy some hard candies. And can't you stand up straight?

OH. AND LASTLY, FOR LONGTIME LJ BUDS. Remember how I had a favorite aunt (Mormon) who wrote me off because I got mad about the totally repugnant racist crap she and her husband were mailing out while they were on their mission from God? GUESS WHO I HAD LUNCH WITH YESTERDAY. (And had no idea she would be there.) Oh, and guess who didn't bring up past ugliness? Neither of us. And guess who had a decent (if awkward and slightly nerve-wracking) lunch? She has two thumbs and wrote this post, that's who. GUYS I EVEN SAID GOOD THINGS ABOUT MISSIONARIES. I deserve my redonk sewing machine just for that angelic act, yo. LOL.
Can I tell you how badly I want to see the Friar's Club roast Quentin Tarrantino? Not because I don't own every single movie he's done (it's true, I can't help myself, they are fun, fun movies) but because there's something so totally repugnant about him and I yet still enjoy his movies. But Whitney Cummings apparently got some awesome zingers in, and that would be great to see. I would have also loved to see Juliette Lewis go off on him, if she did. (His interaction with her on From Dusk 'Til Dawn, an amazing vampire movie of awesomeness, was just creep-tastic. Also, Juliette Lewis is a bit of a nutjob -a charming one, though- and should produce many LOLs.)

I love to quote in the AM, " I don't need you to tell me how f*cking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When [Mr. Stoney] goes shopping [he] buys SH*T. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it."

A lot of times (say, in Death Proof) his dialogue is so clearly written to be read, and not said, and not many actors can get them out without them sounding like "Tarrantino Soliloquies" [the whole Jungle Julie character, cannot stand that character OH MY GOD, nor the actress that played her] but then you have someone like Samuel L. Jackson do the whole "Hah-wah-yan burger" bit and it's just awesome. "Mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash my burger down?"

"I gotta go pee." <-- I love the whole diner sequence in the movie. Every bit of that is gold. Also the whole Madonna "Like a Virgin" bit in Reservoir Dogs. Hilarious. "Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right..." OK, enough of that dudebro.

Can I also tell you how badly I want this dress? So much that I'm buying it later today, that's how badly. PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD, SOLVED HERE.

I feel like I'm the only person watching the OUTSTANDING show, In Treatment. True? No? I have to say, as an actor, this show is a GOLDMINE of "how to's." Spoilers for this season, specifically Sunil's storyline. )

Speaking of acting, one of my shorts I filmed this year missed the Sundance cut. :( There are three more festivals we're waiting to hear back from, so hopefully it'll start picking up steam. A few friends made it into the festival this year, so I'm happy for them. The short I filmed a few weeks ago is almost out of editing and they're starting the submission process pretty soon. I've seen some of the stills, and it looks like it could be pretty outstanding. SHORTS ARE GREAT. Support your local arthouse film studio and go to the shorts festivals - they're a lot of fun.

OK, gotta either start my holiday baking or painting my dining room. Or skipping both and dive back into Fallout (I'm playing hardcore, and Boone is my boyfriend. LOL.) <-- NERD ALERT.

[ETA] Uh.... I just got a fax from someone holding a charity event (hosted by Eva Longoria) wanting me to autograph something for the silent auction. UM. I thought the idea was to raise money, not eyebrows? (LOL. As in, "who the heck is Laura Stone, and why do I care?") ¿Qué demonios?
I spent all day (and I mean ALL day) at a Pizza Hut eating pizza. Sounds great? Uh... if I ever see a spongy piece of dough slopped with grease, pepperonis, sausages, and cold slimy mushrooms again, I might burst into tears. It was supposed to be a day where we got in at 7am, got wardrobe approved, touched up makeup, and started filming at 8:30, to be turned loose at 3 (after a nice hour long lunch.) I left at 8:25pm. The principal actors were actual Pizza Hut employees from all over the country (very cute kids - I say kids, and they're late teens, but you get my point) who were probably too excited by the whole "flew into a big city to film a commercial and have a two day vacation" to worry about learning their lines.

After a few hours the (very patient) assistant director would say one of their lines in the manner he wanted it delivered and get them to repeat it after him. All while rolling. Which means that I and my lovely co-actors had to continually "eat" pizza until they yelled cut. A lovely (and oh my god, hilarious) fellow actor, Z, and I were singled out for two different Real Employee segments. Which meant that we sat at a table, a loving couple, eating the same damn piece of pizza for - and I am not exaggerating - two hours. That piece was so mushy on the tip from me lipping it over and over again. One of the corporate shirts came out to marvel at how we were working that piece of pizza. "We can bring you a fresh-" "NOOOOO!" we chorused. Ahahaha. See, we'd have to bite the tip off the new piece and go through the same process again and again with each new piece. NO MORE PIZZA, EH MEH GHED.

By hour 10 I got the giggles something fierce. Z and I were up front again (I know how to pick colors corporate types dig, yo) and we were "reading over the menu" while the Real Employee explained some specials. I noticed that there was a kooky misprint in my menu - a real menu, btw. One whole section was printed in Latin. No, really. The same three Latin sentences repeated for Meat Lovers Pizza, Forty Cheese lasagne Butt Blaster, and all the other menu items in that column. I mouthed this to him, and he made the funniest face (his back was to the camera) and I immediately started shaking and crying and laughing and he panicked, but found it hilarious. I got through a solid minute of trying to get it together, did, and they never caught it in the back editing room. I really really hope that scene makes the final cut, it should be hilarious to see a shaking, weeping woman in the background. LOL.

And since it was a union gig, I raked in some sweet overtime. Thank you, S.A.G.! All of the hired actors were from my agency, so they were all very professional and very fun. One guy is on Chase and The Good Guys as a stunt actor. We got to talking about how I always loved the thought of being a stunt actress (it's true, I love to jump out/off of things and take a fake punch) and he mentioned that there's a real need for lady stunt actors here. HMMM. So I'm thinking of getting a personal trainer to kick my butt back into serious shape and looking into that, because DUDE. Jumping off a 30 foot tall building? Getting "hit" by a car? OKAY! (Is my kind of fun not your kind of fun? Probably. Ha.)

Today is massive catching up around the house day and prep for filming on Friday, so I'll be spotty with my online activity. But I want to say these final words about the whole leashing babies series of posts, and I've closed that poll, etc. Sorry, not a one of you convinced me that it's the right thing to do. Fortunately I am not the boss of you, right? But if you toss out the redonk answers of the poll, I am happy that most people seem to think there are better alternatives than a piece of cloth to stand in. And only 4 people committed to calling me a bitch, so that's nice, too. I was sure it would balloon up to 2 gazillion people, so that's a happy outcome. :D

OMG PARENTING. We all think our way is the right way and get really upset when it's challenged, I get it. But really, my way is the right way. It'll be so much easier if you just follow me. Shhhhhhhhhhhhh. *chloroforms*

:D (and really, I promise not to be mad if you need to defriend me over being an opinionated jerk off. I yam what I yam.)
[ profile] irishrose1 asked me for my tomato basil soup, so I've got it under a cut for anyone interested. Tomato Basil Soup - La Madeline's recipe )

Things I Wish People Would Stop Doing (and I realize this may be polarizing. Eh.)

French manicures on feet
Guys. Guys. This is gross. One, it looks like you have press on nails on your toes. Two, it looks like your toenails are too long and need to be clipped. GROSS. Sorry, long toenails gross me out. SHORT AND BUFFED. Painted, whatever, but the white tips just looks... Gah. I'm just here to help.

I think I am finally snapping and bringing scissors with me to the maul this holiday. Oh my GOD this makes me crazed. It is your human child and you have them tethered to your waist. And why? Because your hands are most likely full of your phone and some Starbucks. PUT ONE AWAY. Hint: you can keep your coffee. The only things that should ever hang from a belt are: key rings, esp. if you are in some sort of custodial position and/or 'coon pelts that you will sell to raise enough money for a blue-tick coon hound brother and sister duo (but oh my god, something bad will happen to them and I will cry and it will scar me in the third grade for years to come.)

I got off track. STILL. Human children are not on the list of acceptable belt accessories. If you can't be bothered to HOLD YOUR CHILD'S HAND WHEN IN PUBLIC, you should rethink why you became a parent in the first place. No respect for those mothers, not one ounce. Sorry, I will never be convinced of a scenario in which tethering a child to your waist (or stroller) is acceptable. I managed to raise three kids (two by myself for their first years,) and somehow managed to not lose a one. Know why? Because I paid attention to their bodies and/or held on to their bodies with my own appendage.

Constant Phone Talkers
My friends know that I hate being on my phone in public and try to avoid that at all costs. Why? Because I see YOU (not you, you, but YOU. You know who you are.) on your phone. You are on your phone in line when you should be courteous to the cashier/salesperson/everyone in line. You are on your phone in the public bathroom, oh my god, stop this immediately. You are on your phone gabbing to your girlfriend about nothing while your child is destroying things, hoping for your attention. And not only are you on your phone, but you are SHOUTING on your phone. You are. No, you think you aren't talking loudly, but you are. Trust me. You reading this who are thinking that I'm not meaning you? You are probably the shoutiest. The wonderful thing about phones is that they carry your voice any where in the world. You don't have to physically make your voice loud enough to accomplish this, the technology does it for you. You really don't have this much to talk about. If you find yourself responding to "what are you up to/doing?" when called on the phone with "Oh, nothing" that is when you should go DO SOMETHING. Don't shout about how you have nothing going on and blah blah blah and I just want to buy a jug of milk OH MY GOD SHUT UP AND PAY FOR YOUR THINGS.

True story, I was flying into Jacksonville, stopped off in the ladies' room, and heard a business woman conduct a board meeting ON SPEAKER PHONE while she proceeded to explode out of her anus. Make a raspberry noise with your mouth. Now crank that up to 10 and imagine that being a woman in the bathroom with an entire boardroom listening in. WHAT ON EARTH.

...this is why I prefer to stay away from the public during holiday shopping season. Too many inconsiderate weirdos out there, yeesh. (Well, the toenail thing isn't inconsiderate, I just find it icky.)

ION: I am reading Guillermo Del Torro's trilogy, The Strain. For those that wished The Passage was darker and a touch more focused, this is your book. DUDE. I'm very happy with this series so far, and I'm just starting it. Also, I'm waiting for everyone to start all of the anti-woman character bashing on The Walking Dead because fandom never disappoints. I'm cool with how it was laid out last night, though. Put Spoiler in your heading if you talk about the show in comments, because you're all awesome and considerate like that, right? Right. :)

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