O_O

Aug. 27th, 2012 06:07 pm
What my son has eaten today. TODAY. (He's 16)

  • half a jar of peanut butter
  • almost an entire loaf of wheat bread (minus one piece)
  • one pound of blueberries
  • two balls of frozen cookie dough
  • half a gallon jug of milk
  • a handful of raspberries
  • half a pound bag of sugar snap peas

...did I mention that this is in the past three hours? (He ate a whole box of cereal and gallon of milk for breakfast and I have no clue what he ate for lunch at school.) And he just asked me when dinner is going to be ready. Also, my son looks like Mike Teevee after being put on the taffy pull - skin and bones and pushing 6 feet. Seriously, if we could bottle this metabolism, WORLD DOMINATION. Or you know, murdered in the middle of the night by drug companies.

HEY! TEEN WOLF IS UP AT HDJM! S01E02. ALSO: TRUE BLOOD: the finale-ing! SURELY I have Breaking Bad peeps here. I've not seen it yet, but I understand that it was an OH MY GOD episode. Dexter is also there, and Dr. Who returns tomorrow!
I owe a few emails, but they're coming. (Owe. Pfft. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, those of you with whom I correspond with on a regular basis.)

  • It was 108 yesterday. I worked in the yard until a headache hit and then I realized that's a sign that death could come and I went inside like a smart person.

  • I am still not finished with the de-Bermuda project from hell. I am so close that it makes me fussy.

  • I think "fussy" is a hilarious word. [an hilarious? It's a good word.]

  • Alcide's butt and other bits were clearly visible on True Blood. I may have had tears spring to my eyes from the beauty of it. And watched that scene twice more.

  • Sam's recap pretty much sums up everything I feel about TB.

  • I am still behind on Breaking Bad, but Melody's recap is up early, which means it was a bad ass episode that had to be talked about ASAP.

  • Oh, and my husband accidentally deleted my Skyrim profile on our PS3. (I only had one save, because it's never been a problem before? And I hate clutter even in electronic form?) SO HA HA THE JOKE IS ON ME except for how I was D: instead of laughing because I was at Level 45 and was just about to have the perk of putting TWO magical charms on armor. On my Daedric Armor that starts off at a rating of 183. /nerd

  • I am still sad face about it.

  • To his credit, he was horrified.

  • I want to stop writing my current story and rewrite Lavern & Shirley as Kurt and Rachel (with Jacob Ben Israel as Squiggy. IDK who could be Lenny, tho. Maybe Mr. Schue? LOL.)



OH! And [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse's amazing Klaine story hits a pivotal place today, and is uh-may-zing. Really. REALLY.
I spent the weekend blasting my side garden (which is 20 feet deep and 80 feet long) because I can no longer just pull the encroaching Bermuda. We destroyed so many plants with the brush cutter... My husband sent me inside to keep from having a heart attack over the horror. (I did make him spare my heirloom bulb bed, of course.)

We then tilled up...about 1/3 of it before we gave up for the day. I couldn't grip a glass of water without a struggle last night, that's how achy my hands were. Yeesh. We filled 5 30-gallon compost bags with the clippings and dug up Bermuda. I think we have another two or three still waiting to be dug. HEY WHO WANTS TO COME WORK IN 100F HEAT WITH ME? *crickets*

Thought not.

Fun things for you to read because you know Mondays aren't your favorite:


(And thank you, guys, for the comments, the likes, the links and the love! We appreciate it!)

Today the kids and I are going to make those Nutella lava cookies (we didn't get to last week, after all.) I'll report back on the nomminess. *salutes*

Hello!

Jun. 25th, 2012 12:35 pm
Sam's True Blood recap will be up later today - they had wicked storms (be sure to say that in a proper Bostonian accent) last night, people are without power, there was flooding, etc. So. Patience, Grasshopper. Soon you will be able to snatch that recap from my hand.

I threw my back out yesterday after finishing up the granite project (which, btw, thank you for the support there. And "decomposed" is a term meaning "rock companies pulverized the hell out of" for the record. :D) I couldn't move yesterday, and I felt old and decrepit. *sad face*

I had a pool party on Saturday and we made the most AMAZING brisket tacos. I don't know what seasoning the Mr. used on the brisket (probably our standby of Tony's, black pepper, garlic powder, smoked for 20 hours over hickory OH MY GOODNESS) but I know that the pickled red onion I made, along with a few strips of roasted poblano peppers and a thick stripe of chipotle BBQ sauce, all wrapped up in a fresh flour tortilla, was enough to bring angels down from heaven. GOOD LORD. Tasty. Also, holy crow, I need some lunch.

The Dr. Who rewatch (starting with the Ninth Doctor) is continuing tomorrow, and they've been a lot of fun. Be sure to check back every Tuesday - Wednesday -Thursday for the latest installments.

I am making these Nutella lava cookies later today, and then the kids and I (the Mr. is back traveling) are going to make some chicken "gyros" for dinner, and oh my goodness, do I love homemade tzatziki.

I REALLY NEED SOME LUNCH. Feeding brain = ability to think = ability to actually write. =/

HOW DO YOU BRAIN. I am slow and dim witted right now, yeesh.
So I've been helping out my friends with a local film festival all weekend, and had a great freaking time. It a) made me miss being a part of the film world and b) made me so freakin' glad I'm not a part of the film world. :D (People are weird around celebrities. Some celebrities are WEIRD. I heard some great stories from one actor in particular about several Big Hollywood Names that made me glad that I never moved to LA.) But talking with fun, interesting, intelligent people = YAY. (And I met someone from FREEDONIA. Any of y'all from the Arizona Strip/Southern Utah should know how freaking random that was. I guessed that's where he was from by his accent, which blew him away. Lol.)

THINGS TO READ! This dreamy fic about how the more things change, the more they don't. (They just get better.) Klaine, [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse there's nothing else you need, right? <3 You should leave her a comment so she doesn't feel like she lives in ether. :)

TRUE BLOOD. Holy Naccodoches, if you didn't remember how cracked out that show was, these past two episodes were your reminder. Mild Spoilers, mostly me laughing at stuff. )

Sam is back recapping the show, and here's ep. two. GO TALK WITH HER, SHE IS REALLY FUNNY.

The family and I went to see Men in Black III on Friday, and I have to say that I continue to enjoy that series. They're fun, don't take themselves too seriously, and Josh Brolin is out-freaking-standing as a young Tommy Lee Jones. It's redonk how perfect that casting choice was. Not to mention that it ends up being very touching (my son held my hand at the end, choked up - aww!) and I continue to love Will Smith. WHATEVER HE SEEMS LIKE A SERIOUSLY GOOD DUDE AND I LIKE HIM.

And lastly, in "WHAT? HUH? ...WHAT? NO, WHAT?!" news, it only took 14 years and 8 months, but I got my very first Child Support Check this weekend. $206 bucks, aww, that's cute. (He owes something like $13,000 +, but who's counting?) The very first payment I've ever gotten. Ahahaha. Way to really send a message to dead beat dads, Texas! (Note; we have the WORST record for getting child support payments to mothers here, because Rick Perry is a bag of dicks.)

I think I'll use that check to pay for Geek Squad to fix my kids' computers, because they're idiots and turned off their anti-virus software because "It kept popping up." OH MY GOD YOU DUMMIES. I mean, Mommy loves you!

OH RIGHT: CAKE. This is the one I made for the Mr.'s b-day, the one that caused me all sorts of grief. Not the cake itself, just my life thwarting the making of the cake. BUT YOU SHOULD MAKE IT. Under the cut, because it's detailed! Not a proper Black Forest Cake, but it is delicious, nonetheless. )
Because my weekend was one long, sweat slog of manual labor, let me just tell you.

But no one cares about me pulling weeds (and seriously, if there was a God, I would punch him (it has to be a man to create this stuff) in the face for Bermuda grass.). WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT IS ME TALKING ABOUT LAUNDRY.

Wait, no, not that either. PROMETHEUS. That's what. And TRUE BLOOD. That, too. MAD MEN FINALE. Who's with me?

Because guess what's up at Hey, Don't Judge Me? ALL OF THAT. (Well, Mad Men is still in edit, but it will be up shortly. Melody wants it to be perfect.)

PROMETHEUS, written by Liz of Spartacus fame (no, really! Steven DeKnight is her fan! Aww.)
TRUE BLOOD, written by Sam H of Avengers, Thor, and Captain America fame, and god damn she makes me laugh
MAD MEN, written by Melody of Breaking Bad fame, and seriously - if you're a fan of Breaking Bad and Mad Men and aren't reading her? I don't consider you a fan. :)
Also: Dexter's rewatch continues with Season 4, episodes 4 - 6.

There will be some big changes visually on HDJM over the next week to promote easier fandom enjoyment, so keep an eye out for that. (And I'm considering a sort-of forum where people can rec fanfic/etc. I want to be sure it's a positive place first, though, because I continue to want HDJM to be a place where people feel safe to squee about the things they love.)

COMING SOON: a bi-weekly recap and discussion of great feminist movies in the action-film world: Alien 1 -3 (four doesn't count because it's terrible), Kill Bill 1& 2, Silence of the Lambs and others. Hooray!

<3 And now, spinach salad! <-- my freaky-deaky lifestyle cannot be contained, y'all.
It's only Monday, so I feel good about that. What work, you might ask this stay at home mom? DUH.

Glee: SEXY. Oh my god, the love I have for so much in this episode. I do get onto Holly Holiday, though. (Not like that!! My sweet lady kisses are for Santana.)
Will writes on the whiteboard in class the next day: “SEXY.” He starts talking about when a man and a woman, or whatever combination you happen to be, he’s not there to judge, when you and someone else love each other very much, sometimes you want to try and make your puzzle pieces fit together in a dark room. Afterward, you’ll probably cry a lot. This is natural.
RHoNJ: holy crap, Gay Greg is my new favorite housewife. Also, Milania makes me think of that kid from the Twilight Zone, the one who would put you in the cornfield.
Juicy tries once again to end the headache that is her voice and says, “Yeah. Whatever. It's not us, it's them. I don't start nothing.” OH OKAY CLEARLY WE'RE ALL BLIND AND DUMB NOW. Here, let me Anne Sullivan things for you, Juicy, and waterboard you until you get that I'm signing “eff you!” into your palm.


From our other writers:
True Blood! GUYS THIS SHOW, I DON'T EVEN.
It’s Halloween and everyone at Merlotte’s is in costume, because despite living amongst vampires, witches, werewolves and maenads, they haven’t lost their sense of whimsy. Terry and Arlene are dressed as zombies, and Arlene tells Sookie that zombies are the new vamps (someone made the closeout sale at Borders, apparently).

Spartacus: OH MY GOD, IT IS SO SAD ABOUT ANDY WHITFIELD DYING. :( Too young, too young.
Alone in his cell, Spartacus is daydreaming in his tiny gladiator panties about his many recent sweaty and blood-spattered exertions in the arena, to the delighted screams of the crowd. Hm, is he starting to enjoy his fame? The tiny smile on his face at the end of the very next day’s games says OH YES INDEED.


I have dl'd a ridiculous amount of fanfic to my Kindle and plan on sitting with my feet in the pool, reading, as my reward for being so virtuous. (And tonight is RHoBH!! Everyone needs some Lisa Vanderpump in their life. Everyone.)
I made a terrible mistake this weekend. The weather channel app on my phone indicated a massive shift in our weather here in North Texas, so we cancelled our Labor Day party and moved everything up to Saturday before rain and freezing temps moved in. (It was going to be, like, 78! Considering that would be a 30 degree drop, that's freaking cold.) We had a great time with our friends and fam on Saturday, and then Sunday I woke up with plans for warm stews and wine and movies while it poured cold rain outside.

Except it was hot and sunny. I looked at my phone, it clearly said that bad weather should be here! ....and then I saw that someone changed my phone's location to Atlanta, GA. CRY CRY CRY I want cooler weather! Well, I kinda have it today (it's only in the upper 80s!) but oh, how bleak was my puberty Sunday and Monday. Stupid sunshine. So I pulled weeds so I could be productive. THAT WAS NOT ON THE LIST, DAMNIT.

If you're not ready to be fully at work right now, and you need some distractions, boy, do I have them for you. Breaking Bad, True Blood (including last week's missed ep as well), Glee (there will be four - five a week until the season starts on the 20th so we'll be all caught up) and finally, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Ooooooh, this season is going to be amazing tv. AMAZING TV. Crazy meth bitches with money? YES. My hope is that Alison duBois will come back and be her creepy, horrid self, too.

[ETA] I should mention that I'm clearly needing to work through some Karofsky sexy fic in those recaps. Ahem. Also, the cocktail for today is a take on the liver-destroying ZOMBIE. Mmmmmmmm, drunken braaaaaaaains.

If you're looking for a bit of fanfic to read, [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse has a new Kurt/Blaine (Kurt POV) fic speculating on S3 [NO SPOILERS] that is excellent and deals with how people view different types of "homosexuality." It's very good, and at 30,000 is a nice, toothy read, too. And it's all posted, too! No waiting, that's the best kind of story. <3

SHORT WEEK, thank goodness.
In my mind. Ahaha. Every time they respond to me I get a thrill. I AM A DORK, YOU KNEW THIS. (He posted to his FACEBOOK! Eeee!)

Also, I've got my husband hooked on Hoarders now, and he cleans the house in anticipation. WIN! (Speaking of, last night's recap is up. There was an animal hoarder, so there's your warning. You can skip past it easily, I have the two segments marked.)

We've also got True Blood's recap (with the crazy Narnia sex) Spartacus Blood and Sand, and Breaking Bad up, for those of you who love those shows. (Or just love to talk about it.)

Sam, the fabulous recapper of "Captain America" is going to take care of Fright Night and Conan, so you have that to look forward to next week. I'M OVERCOME WITH ANTICI- wait for it - PATION.

OH HEY THE KIDS ARE GOING TO THE OTHER GRANDPARENTS TOMORROW THROUGH THE WEEKEND AND I'M BESIDE MYSELF. I get to have a clean house that is quiet for a few days!! \o/ They're all just antsy about school starting back up, I get it, but OY this has been a hard summer. Too hot to go outside, too hot to drive the car, ugh. We've all been on top of each other for weeks.

SCHOOL SCHOOL I LOVE SCHOOL.

[ETA] OMG how could I forget to ask if any of y'all watched Dallas' Most Eligible last night!? Ahahaha, I'm hooked, I tells ya.
Just thought I'd get that out of the way. :D It's been a nice one, quiet, had a good lunch with my dad, dinner tonight with the Mr. and not a stitch of cleaning will be done by me. Miss Emily turned 10 yesterday and I am officially out of babies. I even had to buy training bras this weekend. WAH, STOP GROWING.

The kids are having grandparent time starting Wednesday, so I have my house all to myself until SATURDAY. I might just pass out from excitement, I'm not even joking. I am going to be getting up to all sorts of shenanigans, just you watch. I might not even make my bed you guys, I just don't know how this fun fest is going to play itself out. Start saving bail money.

I'm going to take a break (I've been working all morning on the site, etc., because I'm a good do-bee) and shoot some Orcs in the face with bows and arrows for a bit because it's too hot to be outside. Again. Eh, that's August. Also, there is nothing more banal than someone dithering on about the weather, so I'll shaddup.

MEANWHILE, if you need something to read, we've got Planet of the Apes, Spartacus Blood and Sand 1.5, True Blood 4.7, and RHoNJ 3.12 for you! Tomorrow is Hoarders & Breaking Bad. Good stuff, folks, good stuff. (I'm most excited for Jersey Shore, won't lie. OH, and the Glee recaps will start back up this week, I def. needed last week off what with the site crashing every five minutes. Oy.)

ALSO I THINK I SHALL EATS SOME CAKES. I like making a cake for my daughter the day before - leftover cake is just enough. :)

OH!! AND I HAVE NOT WATCHED TRUE BLOOD. Please, no spoilers. 10-Q!
The Mr. was gone most of last week and all of the weekend on a golfing trip, and his flight was delayed last night by a few hours. Enough for him to slip into Dreamland in Birmingham, grab some ribs, and carry them home on the plane for me. Awww. Also, OM NOM NOM, best ribs in the world, hands down.

I'm way behind on everything I meant to do today, from staying up way too late last night. Ugh, I hate sleeping in to the point of missing a large portion of the morning, I'm a "get it done early" type of person. I'm in the middle of canning (round two, there will be a round three in a few weeks) and for those of you that put up food, you know how it can be. I have 12 quarts of tomato sauce done, and another 6 qts. to go, did 6 qts. of strawberry preserves on Friday, and I think I'm done with them. That's enough, my lands. Because peaches are coming in. *head desk* But it's nice to have that stuff in the fall and winter, right?

RIGHT?? *cries* I started making an "Apocalypse Survival" checklist Friday night, after a conversation with [livejournal.com profile] kita0610 in her LJ. I don't mean to brag (hahaha) but I'm totally ready to make it. I just need to dig a series of underground caves, and my progeny will live until the zombies have all died out/been blown apart. And remember: robot wars/rise of the machines is the simplest Armageddon's to fight: MAGNETS. That's all you need to know.

Oh, and because my girls rock, [livejournal.com profile] crazydiamondsue has last night's AWESOME True Blood recap up and ready, and [livejournal.com profile] elizardbits has her latest amazingly funny Spartacus recap up (blood and sand) and I've just posted the recap for the Jersey housewives. Oh my god, the food those people make! I wanna go for a holiday at the Manzos.

So get clicking over there, hit the "Like" buttons and the Google+ buttons and leave comments and be your typical fabulous selves. :)

OK, son is off to the oral surgeon in a bit, I've got to start canning tomatoes, and I would really like a personal assistant, thanks. GAH, TOO MUCH.
Today is my Father in Law's birthday, he's 75. Still running marathons, still awesome. We're heading over to their house for dinner (please, oh, please no carrot dimes) after a nightmare of frustrating calls between my mother in law and everyone. She kept asking us what we wanted to do for his birthday, and we kept saying, "Well, what does Dad want to do?" Then she'd go through a list of options she came up with. And we said that all sounded great, what of those things did DAD WANT? Finally my husband made her put the phone down and ask him. Jesus please us. This went on for two weeks, I'm not joking. The man is a saint, I'm telling you.

Especially if there are carrot dimes on the menu.

In other news, I totally killed some vampires on Oblivion yesterday, and I'm only just at Level 2 (I've not had a lot of play time with the Mr. in the house) so I felt pretty boss. LOL. Oh, and I ignored some laundry, which I'm pretty proud of.

EXCEPT HOARDERS WAS ON LAST NIGHT. [Hey Don't Judge Me: RECAP] So I'm doing loads of cleaning today. (IT wasn't the typical filthy episode last night, well, one of them was, but the other was this eccentric guy who collected arcade memorabilia. He had a ZOLTAN! Apparently this guy is very controversial on the boards as maybe a faker. I talk about it in my recap.)

Other recaps that are live: True Blood, last week and this week's recaps (Sue had some extenuating circumstances that kept her from her computer, trust me, she makes the Hotshot craziness bearable, such is her gift.) And Liz has more Spartacus: Blood and Sand recaps. Mel's Bachelorette recap is now up as well.

And tomorrow brings you more Glee with cocktails, and if anything, you should be clicking for the booze. :D

Speaking of Glee, [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse has posted the second chapter to her awesome story, right here. I'm telling you, it's fantastic. And this fandom needs more talented writers that can spell and conjugate and have an actual plot and a large vocabulary and. Wait, no, I meant that last part. :)

Now I must clean all the things and mentally prepare to hear my mother in law mutter to herself as she cooks dinner. I think I'll bring a book. (Too rude? UGH, they all just sit there in silence, it's maddening. Silence? What is that?!)
Holy crap, Oblivion. I've needed a new game to enjoy, and man, I found it. I still think Fallout 3 is the best game of all time (for someone who has never played any modern games before - last game I played extensively was original Zelda - it does the best job of building up skill set, etc.) but Oblivion is pretty boss. It's a MUCH larger world/game experience, so that's a massive plus. But trying to figure out how to play is not intuitive. There's kind of too much available too soon, imo. But I'll get it! Even if I die every few hours.

Who watched RHoNJ last night?! Good lord, that Kim G is the worst! I would love to actually meet her and give her a piece of my mind. Instead, I'll share it with you in my recap. Lol. Also, I can't be the only one that saw "Cats" in the holiday decor of the Wilkies, can I? So so tacky. I hate that kind of X-mas decor. Simple and heartfelt is best, imo. No gilt feathers and dancing motorized life-sized Santas, pls.

Quick mention about True Blood, some minor spoilers. What I want, vs. what I don't want )

And now for a rec I've been sitting on for a few weeks. [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse has been writing an A-MAY-ZING Kurt/Blaine first love/boarding school fic for a bit now, and I've been fortunate enough to be reading along as she's gone about it. Guys. I really think it's going to be THE story that people talk about, love, rec for a long time. It's sweet, earnest, and so perfectly captures that first time love feeling. <3 A chapter a day is being posted (It's finished!) and I'm forcing her to write a different version from Kurt's POV (which I think she's totally into, because she's awesome like that.)

GO! READ! Than The Sum Of Its Parts Give her feedback! That might grease the wheels to the companion piece, I'm thinking. :)

OK, off to round 2 at the ortho for The Boy (we had dentist this morning, ortho tomorrow, and then I am DONE carting people in this heat for the week. Ugh, it's been atrocious. Day 48 this year over 100. It's not even August yet. The pool is 92 degrees. That's till cooler than the outside air, but still. We're thinking of getting some big blocks of ice to throw in the water in a few weeks, because we're probably going to need it. Some rain would be great. Sigh.)
I'm nice like that.

Yesterday's museum trip was a success, hit two museums plus lunch, everyone was interested in the exhibits (the cubism wasn't a big hit, but hey, they've been exposed. The early stuff was pretty inaccessible, imo.) but we saw the whole city, saw priceless works of art, we ate pancreas! No, we didn't, but we did eat steak fingers and sipped soda and talked about post-modern art and how my kids actually prefer that (or the very literal works from the 15 - 17th centuries. Layers, my kids have them.)

And then I watched many hours of stand up last night and finished with a show where Dane Cook closed (hey, Greg Giraldo was performing, he was awesome. *sadface*) and counted a good three jokes Cook stole. Damn, that's so Carlos Mencia, come on, bro! Imma watch some Patton Oswald and Maria Bamford tonight to cleanse the palate, they are two of my all time fave comics.

True Blood! Less cracky this past ep, right? Oh, it's still with the cray-cray, but it's not the fairy cray-cray. [livejournal.com profile] crazydiamondsue's recap is up at Hey, Don't Judge Me. She continues to bring the southern hilarity (actual southern hilarity, something Alan Ball lacks on occasion.)

Speaking of recaps, I thought of doing the "two years later" Hoarders ep, but it made me too sad in places. Happy for a few of them (like that sad woman that lived in her diapers, OH MY GOD) but the rest of it... Augh. Sorry. BUT! Glee recaps continue apace, and I've changed up the format so that now there are recipe cards for the cocktails. :D YAY COCKTAILS. Today is the LYING TINA 'TINI, because of Tina's fake stutter. (I'm going back and adding them to all the previous posts, and all recaps are linked to the next one, for ease of clicking. YOU'RE WELCOME.)

This was the ep where Becky and Jean were introduced, so I have FEELINGS on disabled relatives, but I saved most of them for the end (the Drunken Thoughts portion.)

And hey, I know a bunch of you click over there (you don't have to leave comments, I'm not going to harangue you) but you could click on the FB like button, or something. You know, if you wanted to be awesome and stuff. (That helps raise our profile, so you know.) :)

OK, I am STARVING, I've had naught but Special K with a banana at 8am and the Donger need FOOD.
Ahahahaha. This addresses the whole, "How can vampires speak properly with their vamp teeth?" Answer, they can't. Well, not clearly. Ssssspbt. <-- sucking in spit noise from headgear.

I have turned the reins of our Tumblr over to [livejournal.com profile] handsomespeck and she always finds the funniest vids and .gifs. You should add us to your feed @Tumblr or Google, because it's a guaranteed laugh every time she updates.

Oh, And [livejournal.com profile] crazydiamondsue has complete season recaps (Season 1 in a nutshell, Season 2, etc.) up and she'll be recapping from here out, New True Blood tonight! CRACK A-HOY!

SNOOKIE SNACKHOUSE. Lol.
1) I was a crazy person last night, stressing about the bill, and then it passed and there were word parties on people's FB page and I drank waaaay too much wine and my husband just laughed and laughed at me. Good times. I'm so happy for my friends in NY that can be married and not have sex like the rest of us. (Lol.)

2) We have a new writer at Hey Don't Judge Me, and it's [livejournal.com profile] crazydiamondsue! Um, if you've been around these parts for a while you should know how funny she is. If you don't, I'll put it like this:


However, in a bit of misdirection so obvious that it’s biting (but not sucking), the first vampire on screen is actually a rotund feller in camo with his 4-pack of TruBlood tucked under his arm. He is, in fact, so trucker hat redneck that [the good ol' southern frat boy she's calling] Puka Shells (Puka Shells! Who’s so “Yee-haw, motherfucker!” that he might as well have “All right, all right, all right” tattooed on his bare chest) dubs him Billy Bob.


I mean, come on. She worked in a Matthew McConnegheyghey joke! (I have no idea how to spell his name.)

GO HERE. Put liquids out of reach. Read. Laugh. Then tell her how funny she is. Oh, and check back w/ her (or follow our twitter account @hey_dontjudgeme or the NEW TUMBLR!) later tonight as Season 2 and 3 will be recapped, then every Monday you'll have your episodic recap to make your day all betters.

I just drank all the apple juice in the world to rid myself of this hangover. I mean, YAY NEW YORK! *woozy*

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