Hope kitty turns up soon so you can stop worrying about him. They are creatures of pure cute fluffy evil. Last time one of mine went missing it turned out he'd been in the basement. In the damn BASEMENT. Undoubtedly snickering to himself as I frantically called for him, while playfully eviserating small still-living basement-dwelling rodents.

Kitty troubles and no presents - at the very least you should get to whine and eat fudge, dammit. I'd be out kneeling in the street, wailing operatically of my torment and woe and pissing off the neighbors.