"Oh, thank the Powers That Be, Prissy. Spikanie is about to give birth, and you said you know what to do. Now go on, scoot!"
Prissy begins to hyperventilate, "Oh, Miss Angel! Miss Angel! I cain't! Oh, Laws, I cain't! I don't know nothin' ‘bout birthin' no babies! ‘Specially no ass-hole babies coming from no dead man dressed up and acting likes a woman! Oh, Laws!"
You are friggin nuts.
Will you marry me? You me and vampirellabites can live in sin and write slash for each other.
"Mammy, run just as quick as you can and tell Gunn that the baby is coming. And for him to hurry up quick, but hide from them filthy Carpetbaggers, because he is a young, black man and this is the Antebellum South. For that matter, send for Wesley Butler, too. He'll know what to do, the shameless rake - but I love him. Oh, Mammy, I -"
Mammy slaps some sense into Angel, who is beginning to ramble. Didn't she remember a baby is trying to come out of a dead vampire's ass? And that vampire is a delicate magnolia flower, liable to pass out at the drop of a hat?
I can't believe it took me tis long to get here, but now that I am, I'm never leaving. I love you.
Gunn looks down to witness the birth of his beloved undead-ass-baby and recoils in horror as he sees where the baby is trying to deliver itself.
"GOD. DAMN!"
Seriously. I love you. So much.
"Somebody ‘bout tuh lose a perfectly good mulatto vampire baby roun' here!"
"Big Clem!" everyone cries out.
Big Clem has come up from the servant's quarters just in the nick of time to catch the baby as it shot forth like the greatest wad of cold, dead seed ever to shoot from a cock.
Dear God.
"Wesley, you'll stay to supper, won't you? I'll have Mammy kill something and cook it up for us."
(Yelled from far away:) "The hell I will!"
My face hurts.
Wesley, if you go... where shall I go? What shall I do?"
Wesley retorts, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
(From the kitchen:)"Ooh! He shore done tol' you!"
"Mammy, quiet! Wesley! WESLEY!!"
Wesley walks into the sunset, Angel grabs on to the door, gasping and sobbing, her/his grief overcoming her/his frail (ahem) body.
[Sweeping, grand orchestral number as curtains close]
I think I've just had an embollism. Thank you. Good night.
no subject
"Oh, thank the Powers That Be, Prissy. Spikanie is about to give birth, and you said you know what to do. Now go on, scoot!"
Prissy begins to hyperventilate, "Oh, Miss Angel! Miss Angel! I cain't! Oh, Laws, I cain't! I don't know nothin' ‘bout birthin' no babies! ‘Specially no ass-hole babies coming from no dead man dressed up and acting likes a woman! Oh, Laws!"
You are friggin nuts.
Will you marry me? You me and
"Mammy, run just as quick as you can and tell Gunn that the baby is coming. And for him to hurry up quick, but hide from them filthy Carpetbaggers, because he is a young, black man and this is the Antebellum South. For that matter, send for Wesley Butler, too. He'll know what to do, the shameless rake - but I love him. Oh, Mammy, I -"
Mammy slaps some sense into Angel, who is beginning to ramble. Didn't she remember a baby is trying to come out of a dead vampire's ass? And that vampire is a delicate magnolia flower, liable to pass out at the drop of a hat?
I can't believe it took me tis long to get here, but now that I am, I'm never leaving. I love you.
Gunn looks down to witness the birth of his beloved undead-ass-baby and recoils in horror as he sees where the baby is trying to deliver itself.
"GOD. DAMN!"
Seriously. I love you. So much.
"Somebody ‘bout tuh lose a perfectly good mulatto vampire baby roun' here!"
"Big Clem!" everyone cries out.
Big Clem has come up from the servant's quarters just in the nick of time to catch the baby as it shot forth like the greatest wad of cold, dead seed ever to shoot from a cock.
Dear God.
"Wesley, you'll stay to supper, won't you? I'll have Mammy kill something and cook it up for us."
(Yelled from far away:) "The hell I will!"
My face hurts.
Wesley, if you go... where shall I go? What shall I do?"
Wesley retorts, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
(From the kitchen:)"Ooh! He shore done tol' you!"
"Mammy, quiet! Wesley! WESLEY!!"
Wesley walks into the sunset, Angel grabs on to the door, gasping and sobbing, her/his grief overcoming her/his frail (ahem) body.
[Sweeping, grand orchestral number as curtains close]
I think I've just had an embollism. Thank you. Good night.