I NEVER SAID I WAS RIGHT IN THE HEAD. Fic post.

[stoney321]

Merciful Zeus. I ain't right.

Title: Well, Why On Earth Do You Think They Called Him The "Jolly" Green Giant?
Author: Stoney
Pairing/Rating: Jolly Green Giant/Incredible Hulk, PG with innuendo
A/N: I like the overwhelmingly ridiculous idea of referring to myself as an "author" for this. Hahahahaha! GOOD GOD, THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT IS FROM THE VALLEY, HELLO!
250 words. 250 very wrong words.



Well, Why On Earth Do You Think They Called Him The "Jolly" Green Giant?

Hulk raised fist to smash door. Hulk remembered key in pocket - Jay had told him not forget. Hulk lowered fist to torn jeans to paw for key. Pocket torn from transformation.

HULK SMASH DOOR.

"Hulk? 'S that you? Honey, did you forget about the hide-a-key on the front porch, again? Sillikins. Dinner will be ready in about five."

Hulk lowered head. Hulk forget things all the time. Jay was good to not yell. Hulk no like yelling. Hulk felt kiss on cheek.

"Oh, you. I know what will turn that frown upside down! A Complete Chicken Alfredo Skillet Meal™ and broccoli with cheese sauce on the side! And no, I didn't forget your corn nibblets!"

Hulk grunted Hulk's approval and sat in chair.

"Now, now, aren't you forgetting something?"

Hulk looked around; Hulk patted pockets. Dodge Stratus keys, Hulk no forget. Wallet, Hulk no forget. Was Hulk to bring home pie for dessert? HULK SMAS-

"Wash your hands, stinky boots!"

Hulk chuckled, "Oh Kay."

Hulk swatted at the water tap until water come. Hulk squeeze bar of Lava™ hand soap and clean up. Jay like Hulk to be clean. Not all the time... Hulk laughed low and hard.

Speaking of hard... Hulk stand behind Jay while he use tongs to pull corn nibblets from pot. Jay laughed.

"Ho ho ho! Looks like someone brought their own corn on the cob!"

Comments

[neur0vanity.livejournal.com]

Holy Mother of Crack. Once again, you are my hero.

[versaphile.livejournal.com]

*facepalm*

[sweptawaybayou.livejournal.com]

You. Are sooooooo wrong.

But in such a good way.

*dies*

I think I'll print this out to keep and read to my grandchildren someday.

:)

**twirls you**

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I think I had to stop and wipe my eyes after typing "stinky boots."

Ahahahaha!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I...

I'm not read in the head.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Is it sad that I'm imagining an entire series (like a gay super hero sitcom - like Friends without capes, basically) with these two?

Laughtrack and everything? Letters written to bosses that have to be retrieved and the whole nine?

I never said I was sane. :D

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

I love you. Lovelovelovelovelovelovelove.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I should probably be on some kind of pill. I mean, WTFUCK? (And the sad thing is, this was inspired from all the Skeletor/He-man chatting today. Hahahaha!)

[tx-cronopio.livejournal.com]

Hee Hee Hee! Skillet Meal, the perfect touch!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA!! You know that meal, YES YOU DO!!

(HO HO HO, GREEEEN Giant!)

[sweptawaybayou.livejournal.com]

I never said I was sane.

And thank goodness for that. How dull our world would be with a sane Stoney ...

I'll be waiting for more of this series. Ho ho ho ... Green Giant!

*snorfle*

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

Complete Chicken Alfredo Skillet Meal killed me (with the wee ^TM) but it was Dodge Stratus that had me howling.

Corn nibblets!!!! Ahahahahaha! You are the most twisted person I know. I really do love that about you.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HEEEEE!! I got off the phone with you and this came out. Like pee when you're laughing too hard.

I'm not right. You knew that going in. Heh.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heh - I mean, they make the PERFECT GAY COUPLE. I can see Hulk sitting in his easy chair, glasses on his nose while he fists through a book, Jay nattering on in the background asking him if he ate anything healthy today, or was it more meat with the fellas at the Hall of Justice....

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

*snorfle*

[rahirah]

Dude! How can you possibly do Hulk/JGG fic and forget the greatest Hulk line of ALL TIME?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

BECAUSE I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE HULK!!

THERE!!

I've said it!! *falls down sobbing, eats lots of chocolate*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*hands you a tissue* Sometimes those snorfles leave fringe boogers, is all.

[rahirah]

(takes pity)

It's "HULK LIKE BEANS!"

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!! Nice Belushi shout-out!

And I am imagining an entire universe with the "Fantastic Four" (Jay: More like Fabulous Two, but the other's can't help themselves, poor dears.)

[going-not-gone.livejournal.com]

This is wrong like a wrong thing that is made of the essence of wrongness, with Wrong Sauce on top.

I think I love you. You make me feel all warm and fuzzy, and....sane.

[lynnenne]

Hahahahahaha! You are seriously twisted. I love that about you.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the English Peas and Carrot dimes on that dish!

I'm glad to be the measuring stick for insanity. *g*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! It's becoming a sitcom in my head, the longer I think about them! Someone really should put me down.

<333333

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

It warms my heart to know that Hulk was able to get some loving. Although it seems to me the "Hulk smash" could be quite painful if done at the wrong moment.

And now I'll never eat niblet corn again.