So...Walking Dead. SAY NOTHING HERE. DO NOT SPOIL PEOPLE. But you can go here to my recap and tell me if you agree or disagree with my theory on the big turning point OF WHICH WILL NOT SPEAK HERE TO SPARE PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T WATCHED YET.

Hey, have you heard of Black Sails? Because Liz has, and she's going to be recapping it. HOORAY. Golden Age of Sail? Check. Lady pirates? Check. Lady pirates in love with other lady pirates? DOUBLE CHECK.

I had the weekend to myself for the most part, as the Mr. went to the deer lease with Emily and Sally Derg. Sally is very much a city dog and was terrified of the friendly cows out there, which makes me laugh. She likes little things like cats and Yorkies. And her "baby," a stuffed otter. Ha. (But I have a freezer full of meat, which means I won't have to buy any for some time, hooray!)

And I booked a flight for an upcoming (and very much needed) trip and I have been BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS with excitement over it.

Hello, guys! It's Monday and we got to sleep in yesterday! Or you were up extra early and are still angry about it, IDK your life.


Feb. 11th, 2013 12:03 pm
Today is cold and overcast here, which is lovely as it was sunny and I was in short sleeves yesterday. =/ I would just like a little consistency with my weather, instead of this 30s to 78 bee ess we've had. THAT IS WEIRD TO ME.

The Walking Dead is back, as are my recaps. (Whee!) Oh man, am I happy this show is back. (And Southland comes back Wednesday!!)

In whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? news, I spent all day Saturday with the in laws (YES THERE WERE CARROT DIMES HANG ON) who didn't let us know that they were essentially inviting the neighbors over for dinner, too. And evidently they have dinner parties all the time? And one of the neighbors told my daughter that "your grandparents get wild!" AND I HAD A HEART ATTACK AND AM NOW DEAD.

Wait, no, I'm not because there's more. The next door neighbor lady made CLAPPY HANDS when she saw that there were carrot dimes. (TWO. BOWLS. Two. One for each end of the table!)

I left wondering if up was indeed down. If dogs and cats were in fact living together. MASS HYSTERIA.

I have been playing phone tag all day with four groups of people, trying to communicate to each of them what the other is saying and this would be better if PEOPLE WOULD RETURN MY CALLS. (I really really loathe our legal system. REALLY.) My life is still crazy, but there is a huge light at the end of the tunnel, and if I can get this damn car off the tracks, blocking me, I can get TO the light. (subtext: please understand that I am not really able to be around to chat much.)
DUUUUDE. The Walking Dead. Good lord, that show is GRIM. It makes Oz look like an After School Special at times. Wow, I am going to need people to come over and talk to me about this episode because GOD.DAMN.

Also up at HDJM: Dexter, Supernatural, and Teen Wolf later today. (I have fallen into a Sterek-sized hole, it seems. I'm just into S2 now. Guilty pleasure tv!) Tonight is the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which I adore, and look. I need distractions, okay? I need to keep busy, and this is a great way to do so.

I hope everyone had a good weekend. It is FREEZING here (literally, it was 28F this morning when I finally got up) and should barely get into the upper 50s with sunny skies. It's about damn time fall decided to show up! Bread-baking weather, for sure. Or a cake. MMM, CAKE.

Cake: Y/Y? Or other delicious item that you will present me with in comments with accompanying recipe. :)

(And thank you thank you THANK YOU for all of the love and support. Boy, did I need it on Friday. <3 right back to you.)
Guys? The Walking Dead was... I'm not going to say ANYTHING in case someone hasn't seen it yet, but GET ON THAT ASAP.

Recap/Discussion post/My freaking out is right here. GUYS. Guys. I'm still filled with adrenaline from that ep.

(I have a serious plea-post that will be coming later, and didn't want to cross these two streams. So bear with me. Well, it's not like your flist is filled up, right? <3)
WHEE!! The Walking Dead premiered last night, and I took over the recaps (our former writer has left) and I AM EXCITE. Guys, y'all know this is my wheelhouse. Come talk to me!

Also up: Torchwood (every Friday!) and SPN. Oh, I love you, TV. :D

This is a glorious week for me, because Friday I am winging my way to California for a Writer's Retreat (5 whole days!) with [ profile] flaming_muse, and we're going to meet up with [ profile] bdbdb and we have Sooper Secret Events that I am looking forward to, and just... BOY DO I NEED A VACATION. \o/

I'm putting a place-holder here for some gardening pics, because I spent Saturday ripping out craziness and replanting things as the Big Overhaul of 2012 continues. <3

HELLO EVERYONE! It's a wonderful Monday. :D
I hope all Americans are getting their mattresses at deep discounts, just like our forefathers would have wanted. And for those watching the show (or just enjoying the recaps) Kristi's Walking Dead recap went up at 5am. (She's dedicated. Also, she's editing the typos right now, lol. NO NEED TO CORRECT HER, okay? We have an official editor now, thx.)

Also: Liz's hilarious Spartacus recaps, The Vampire Diaries, Merlin and Supernatural = all waiting for you. <3

So I almost died this weekend. (Not really.) I pulled a muscle in my neck and shoulder and took a muscle relaxer and then sat in the hot tub, cranked up to 102 (which means it got to 106.) I couldn't read the book I had on my Kindle when the screen started to steam (I have it in a ziplock bag, I'm smart like that) so I set it aside and floated my arms out as I sat on the bench.

Cut to however long later when I woke up as my face slipped under the water. WHEE! Wow, did I feel super relaxed, though. Mmm, drugs and steam.

It's grey and windy and cold out, the kids are scrubbing their bedrooms (never tell me you're bored! NEVER.) and I've added a good 3000 words to my ever-growing fic and I am feeling quite lovely about things. Even though every Klaine fic I'm writing lately is like writing the alternate universe that I wish I lived in.

It all starts with an album cover... )

I feel like making old school popcorn. Who wants theirs with freshly grated Parm and black pepper?
-given the sounds and moans from my house. And they're all from me.
I've been infected. SAVE YOURSELVES!!! D:

Cooked for 20 hours straight (that's only a slight exaggeration) including more than two dozen beef short ribs (soaked in Cote du Rhone then browned in bacon fat and herbs) that I had specially cut for Chrimbus Dinner only to be told an hour before dinner was served that my father, step-mom, and siblings wouldn't be coming after all. ARE. YOU. EFFING. ...what!? My awesome lovely favorite sister and her husband were over and asked if my dad told me. Oh, they have the sniffles, you see. Guys, I have been functioning on base human motor skills for two weeks with this damn sinus infection (anti-biotics failed. I have to go back to the doc today/tomorrow) and they have a tickle in their throat? NO SIR. EAT MY FOOD, OPEN THE GIFTS I LOVINGLY BOUGHT FOR YOU AND TELL ME YOU LOVE ME. Every family has their traditions, mine involve disappointment.

So basically I bullied my family into letting me love them, and it worked. They left shortly after dinner, which was fine, because I went to bed at 6:30pm and I just woke up. It's 11:30am as of my typing this. The lurgy is strong, cry cry.

Other than that, the holiday was lovely, the chirrens were well pleased with Giftmas, the Mr. was overjoyed with his thoughtful presents, and I was, too. I owe emails and comments and a few phone calls, but guys, I am going back to bed with my Kindle and reading The Road because I like cheering stories (lol.) (OH!! GUYS!! I MADE MY MOTHER IN LAW CACKLE WITH LAUGHTER ON CHRIMBUS EVE. I felt like a GOD.)

Those of you who feel so inclined to promote your Yuletide stories of awesome, keep it up. I have Calibre open and plan on loading up my Kindle for the week. YAY STORIES.

Oh, and I've had a few PMs asking - yes, I'm going to put up a "Year in Fic" post + a kinda-sorta masterlist. Eventually. But if I start moaning brains, you know the drill - exterminate and save yourselves. *shuffles feet aimlessly*

(I hope everyone had a lovely Hanukkah, Christmas, Giftmas, Sunday, Day of Sacrifice or whatever winter festivus you celebrate. GERMY KISSES FOR EVERYONE! :*)
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my holidays, but I am worn the hell out. And I learned that when my MiL doesn't act up (she was lovely!) my husband gets stressed waiting for the other shoe to drop and then takes it out on me. FUN. Except for how I made him apologize all day yesterday for being a turd-face. Boys.

First, let's talk about how I want to have Darryl Dixon babies. Kristi, our normal recapper, was struck with a massive flu while traveling for the holidays, and won't have her recap up until tonight, so there's a discussion post about salient topics (i.e. how Darryl Dixon is the new moral center of the show among other things) up instead.

I finally forced myself to finish Never Let Me Go - the movie - last night, and oh my HEART. I've read the book (which is gorgeous, gorgeous) but Carey Mulligan owns my soul, guys. Sobbing. Openly weeping by the end, won't even act like I wasn't. Like, the ugly cry. If you've never seen it, or read it, run, don't walk, and fix that.

OH! I bet you forgot to go to the HDJM shop and buy an awesome long sleeved Breaking Bad tee, or a Simon Cowell mug, or an adorable Klaine iPad case, right? Whew, good thing I reminded you, huh? :D

I want to leave you with the most awesome video ever.

FIRST: WALKING DEAD RECAP starring the coolest redneck ever, The Supernatural recap (The Mentalist) and the latest The Vampire Diaries are all waiting for your juicy, delicious thoughts.

SECOND: I'm thuper exthited, you guyth. Do you know how hard it is to find someone that can mimic the 60s-mod/Bewitched style we've got going on our site? Pretty damn hard. Do you know how hard it is to do proper caricatures of people that look like the people? REALLY hard. So I'm stoked by what I ended up with.

Who are my Breaking Bad peeps out there? Check out this awesome Walt design - you should buy a shirt or mug with this image on it. That would be cool of you. )

Oh, hey Glee folks, how about some awesome Klaine? Because we're calling it Blurt there so you know, we don't get in trouble. But I think it's SO CUTE. You also should buy loads of things. )

And all proceeds go to starving writers everywhere. Everywhere = only to the people working at HDJM, that is. Hosting a website, paying artists and writers, it doesn't come cheap. Why are you making these poor girls suffer? Buy a mug. Buy a shirt. Hanukkah's/Christmas/Kwanza/Sacrifice Day is just around the corner, and here are some awesome fan-based items waiting for you. There is also True Blood merch! )

ADDED MERCH + Your Thoughts wanted: I've added Kindle sleeves, bumper stickers, a travel mug, and laptop skins! If we can sell some of this without it being overwhelming, I'm curious as to what YOU'D like to see added. I'm all ears.

Now I need to eat, exercise, and not nibble on the cake I made last night (for my mother in law's birthday. And she brought a cake. Even though I spent a week finding out from her what kind of cake she'd like for me to make her. LOL.)
WALKING DEAD RECAP. (I've still not watched the episode, so NO SPOILERS, PLS. Throw your discussion over at Kristi and make a new writer happy, would ya?

PROJECT RUNWAY RECAP - she was our pinch hitter, so she has been juggling loads of RL with recaps, but the season is wrapping up!

SUPERNATURAL RECAP, and holy crap, does the fandom love our recapper. Which pleases me greatly, because I've known Vanessa for a long time - she's awesome.

Boardwalk Empire and the Jersey Housewives finale to come later this afternoon.

Currently I have immersed myself in what is going to be a 50,000+ Klaine AU. Where Blaine is a fireman. I don't even know who I am anymore. (And non-stop parent/teacher conferences today. Just tell me if there's a problem, I already know my kids are awesome. Unless they're living double lives, their grades speak for themselves, ugh. I fully admit to being the laziest, worst parent ever. Your point is? *g*)

OH YEAH AND HOARDERS COMES BACK TONIGHT. So get ready to talk with me tomorrow about it. I said get ready.
I didn't ask, and I didn't tell. Wait, that's not the right one, I did more by 9am than most people do all day. And now I'm ready for my nap.

CAN WE TALK ZOMBIES MORE, GUYS?! Because I watched every minute of the marathon yesterday, the premiere last night, and then read THIS AWESOME RECAP/DISCUSSION POST this morning, and I want you to, too, and then let's talk there, because that girl needs some boosting, for she is new to the whole writing/internet game. (Let's support fellow writers, yeah?)

Then I had to come off my high by listening to the Real Housewives of Jersey squabble, and it's official. I'm done after this season. I stuck it out, but life is too short, and I'm just over all of them. There's no joy in Mudville. I'll see it through, and then nada.

I started the laborious task of cleaning out my garden for the winter, and man, there was a lot of stuff that didn't die in our record-breaking summer of heat and drought. And it's called Bermuda grass. (Weeds, too.) I let everything go fallow this summer, because I didn't fancy dying of heat stroke, and I am paying for it now by having a lot of weeding to do. I filled a 50 gallon barrel with weeds. And I literally only moved 5 feet. For new folks: I have about 1/3 of an acre of garden space.

My hands are aching. I just can't bring myself to hire gardeners, though. They just don't know how to do it my way, zomg.

This is the lamest post ever, sorry. EXCEPT GO TO THE ZOMBIE LINK AND TALK!!! (I need a brownie today, I think. And I still have my workout to fit in. *cries*)
Zombies and the fight of said creatures will commence this evening on my teevee screen. THE WALKING DEAD comes back tonight! I am almost bouncing, I'm so excited.

Our newest recapper, Kristi, is taking on the job, and she reviewed the webisodes that aired all last week (detailing Bike Girl's origin, very cool.) If you missed the webisodes, don't fear, she'll catch you all up. And she'll have everything up for you first thing Monday morning so we can get our zombie-talk on (and she's as zombie/horror obsessed as me, and maybe even more so. Her Halloween parties are legend.)

IN THE MEANTIME, COME TAKE MY APOCALYPSE QUIZ. Do you have what it takes to survive the end of civilization?

Also on the site is the latest Supernatural recap, and as loads of fangirls are getting back from WinCon today, I hope y'all had a blast.

Tonight is also the Reunion Special for the Housewives of Jersey, and while I'm excited for the crazy, I'm also SUPER excited to get a break from them.

And now I channel this excited energy into weed pulling. *cough* and I scored a 43 on the quiz. Out of 46. No propane tanks and generators, I'm afraid. Not yet. My goal is to be Reba McEntire in Tremors, basically.

[Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend, your Percy, or your c*ck. You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can slip it in your sock.] I cannot get Monty Python out of my head this morning, so I thought I'd share the fun. Yesterday it was the Philosopher's Drinking Song.

Speaking of euphemisms, I used a few in the recap for last night's Jersey Shore. I swear, that show has become an AU of itself. I like Sammi, there is no fighting with Ron, Jenni and Sam are BFF now, and Vinny and Pauly finally go all the way and share it with the world. GOOD FOR THOSE BOYS.

And this is the last week of our writers with traveling schedules, etc., so there should be no further hiccups with the recaps not getting up within 24 hours of airtime. WHEW! I know they were all stressed about that, so I'm glad things are settling back down. Which means the following recaps await you:
American Horror Story
The Vampire Diaries
Top Chef: Just Desserts
X-Factor: The Judges HOMES

Today is a recap for THE WALKING DEADS WEBISODES. (I'll update here with the link, gimmie until 11am CST for final editing.) Then Monday morning, our newest writer will crack you up. (Her husband makes amazing special effects for horror movies, too. FUN.) If there is a show I have been looking forward to, it is The Walking Dead. LOVE IT. (The SouthLAnd in January!!)

SUNDAY ON HDJM: a zombie apocalypse survival test! Test your know how! (And can you beat my survival score? Lol.)
I made a terrible mistake this weekend. The weather channel app on my phone indicated a massive shift in our weather here in North Texas, so we cancelled our Labor Day party and moved everything up to Saturday before rain and freezing temps moved in. (It was going to be, like, 78! Considering that would be a 30 degree drop, that's freaking cold.) We had a great time with our friends and fam on Saturday, and then Sunday I woke up with plans for warm stews and wine and movies while it poured cold rain outside.

Except it was hot and sunny. I looked at my phone, it clearly said that bad weather should be here! ....and then I saw that someone changed my phone's location to Atlanta, GA. CRY CRY CRY I want cooler weather! Well, I kinda have it today (it's only in the upper 80s!) but oh, how bleak was my puberty Sunday and Monday. Stupid sunshine. So I pulled weeds so I could be productive. THAT WAS NOT ON THE LIST, DAMNIT.

If you're not ready to be fully at work right now, and you need some distractions, boy, do I have them for you. Breaking Bad, True Blood (including last week's missed ep as well), Glee (there will be four - five a week until the season starts on the 20th so we'll be all caught up) and finally, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Ooooooh, this season is going to be amazing tv. AMAZING TV. Crazy meth bitches with money? YES. My hope is that Alison duBois will come back and be her creepy, horrid self, too.

[ETA] I should mention that I'm clearly needing to work through some Karofsky sexy fic in those recaps. Ahem. Also, the cocktail for today is a take on the liver-destroying ZOMBIE. Mmmmmmmm, drunken braaaaaaaains.

If you're looking for a bit of fanfic to read, [ profile] flaming_muse has a new Kurt/Blaine (Kurt POV) fic speculating on S3 [NO SPOILERS] that is excellent and deals with how people view different types of "homosexuality." It's very good, and at 30,000 is a nice, toothy read, too. And it's all posted, too! No waiting, that's the best kind of story. <3

SHORT WEEK, thank goodness.
I guess there are these "future" drinks that haven't been made yet, and it's "physically impossible" for me to drink them. WHATEVER. Also: How about it, Science?!

Breaking Bad, 4.3 BOOM, done, waiting for you. Hoarders, Beverly/Megan SHAZAM, read about the cat poop. (Jes joo weeel eat the cah poo! Also? Milk was a bad choice.)

In other news, I am bad ass with a bow and arrow. My video game told me so. (Also, I actually am in real life, too. Apocalypse skill? CHECK.)

Speaking of, I'm still trying to work out the logistics of livestock in my apocalypse plan. Goat, sheep, for sure are necessary, as well as some chickens/doves. But a cow and donkey would be great, but where to put them so they're safe? I REQUIRE BEASTS OF BURDEN IN MY END OF DAYS PLAN.

My husband is still on vacation. I made him watch Hoarders with me. He just:
  • cleaned the bathroom sinks
  • scrubbed all the toilets
  • vacuumed the stairs and living room
  • washed the dishes.

ACCOMPLISHMENT. [/Principal Figgins]

I helped my cousin avoid a MASSIVE SCAM with her daughter, and I feel filled with virtue. (I think I've banked enough good karma that I can kill some clowns. I think it's 1 good deed = 1.62 dead clowns, but I don't know the rate of exchange for carnies, which will be more prevalent as they're in season.)

NOTE: if you're going to audition or "be paraded out" in front of "directors," um, that should NEVER EVER COST A FEE. Ever. You do not pay to audition. You do not pay to be "seen by a director." That is a scam. Save your money. [/PSA] Rainbow, the more you know!

Broccoli salad time, nom nom.
Conversation I had with myself today at the gas station:

Me: Glad I just filled up my tank before bad weather hits.
Me: Who cares? You're not going to drive on the ice, why bother?
Me: Because you always need a full tank, that's End of Days Preparation 101, yo
Me: Did you just say "yo," white girl?
Me: *ignores* What if you need to siphon off gas for Molotov cocktails? Or just get out of town?
Me: You live on the outskirts, you're already out of town.
Me: But, where do you think all of the city people will flee?
Me: Hmm, good point.
Me: Plus, last ditch efforts of survival, I can shoot the gas tank and blow up my car and take out any scavengers/undead that might come too close
Me: OK, that would look awesome, continue.

ION, I was at the fabric store in the hoity toity part of town and straight up got a head to toe, pearl clutching, oh my god look from some woman. SORRY I DIDN'T WEAR CHANNEL TO CALICO CORNERS, BITCH. I'm sorry. My sincerest apologies. Also, how did you like my tattoo that's exposed by my COLE HAAN LOAFERS? Yes, I'm a tattooed preppy gal who years for a Birkin bag and an octopus tattoo on my other foot.

I'm an onion, I have layers. Also? I'll make you cry. I'm not stinky, though, because I'm super keen on hygiene. <--I want to make iron ons that say that and give them to all the teen-aged boys ever.

Oh, and that lady? I raised my eyebrows and mouthed "WOW" at her. That'll show 'em. LOL.
Mostly because our school district was very smart and gave the kids a parent/teacher's conference day (translation: no school) on Monday, so we lazed about as a family jamming Snickers and such into our mouths. Good times. Some brief Halloween talk I was kinda ready for Halloween the night before, and the actual night I was worn out. )

BUT I WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT MY NEW FAVORITE THING. THE WALKING DEAD. So I think Frank Darabont woke up in the middle of the night and said to himself 'there's a woman named Stoney, and she likes post-apocalyptic zombie stories of human survival. And gore. I will make this show for her.' AND THEN HE DID. )

I am so far behind on so much in my life it's not even funny. GAH. I need to quit preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse (playing Fallout) and clean my house, write, reply to emails (sorry ladies, I'll get with you later today!) mop my floors, etc. etc. I think you can see why I'm looking forward to fighting off the undead - there is no delicate cycle laundry when you're trying to keep your brains from becoming brunch. I AM PREPARED.

(Oh, and seriously, if there are zombies on your porch, you should be sleeping upstairs with the staircase barricaded, I'm just saying. Extra level of defense.)

OH AND I NEED TO VOTE. (And so do you, right? Unless you did early voting, in which case I salute you!)
This weekend I went with the Mr. to the Gun Show to see what they're really like. It can't be that bad, right? Wrong. No biceps were kissed in the making of this post. )

And today I get to brave the elements and rip out plants from the garden and put new things in. (No more purple cone flowers, they're taking over, as they do.) Saturday the Mr. and I chopped down 5 trees (our peach tree! Woe. Our Deodar Cedar! DOUBLE woe. And the three yaupon hollies, HOORAY I HATE THOSE THINGS) and carted them off to the mulch dump to make room for the POOL. (And saved big bucks doing it ourselves. More money to buy new trees, hooray!) It's going to be 107 today. SURE WISH THAT POOL WAS DONE. *cry*
I got an audition call last night for a part so awesome, it might as well be ret-conned into Raising Arizona. THAT AWESOME. (Very small part, one scene, but one of those "Son? You got a panty on your head." kind of scenes.) OH MY GOD, WANT WANT WANT. I just need to hire a videographer to film my audition and then sacrifice a goat. *crosses everything, except Ts, and they know why. Bastards.)

But you came here for the apocalypse talk, let's be honest. There's a "get to know me!" meme going around, and one of the questions is "which is worse, zombie or robot apocalypse" and I'm like "REALLY? THIS IS UP FOR QUESTIONING?" If you answered robots, then you have not watched enough movies.

1. 28 Days Later (I KNOW. THEY AREN'T ZOMBIES. BUT IT WOULD BE THE SAME.) vs. Terminator? One movie has everyone EATING EVERYONE ELSE and the other has the Governor of California stalking a chick with acid washed pants tucked into puffy socks. (Note: T and T2 are some of my all time fave movies, just to be fair.)

2. Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaains! vs. "We used poisonous gasses and we poisoned their asses" although that last one does mean no more yogurt and stairs. STILL. DOES NOT COMPARE.

3. Camping out in a mall with a few douchenozzles (and a secretly pregnant zombie lady that will kill you all) as hordes of hungry zombies surround you looking for a way to eat you vs. "we are in Zion" rave of perfectly beautiful people all of the same age and all are very very sweaty. HOWEVER: you have to endure the monotone of Neo in that last one. DOES NOT COMPARE.

4. Having to off your mum after she JUST MET the love of your life (who has dumped you, let's be honest) while you're leading a group to safety at the Winchester through a zombie horde in hopes of a mythic loaded gun vs. DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME? DOES NOT COMPARE. (The computer didn't launch the nukes, so.... Tic Tac Toe destroyed the threat. THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MINUTE. TIC. TAC. freaking TOE.)

And if you can't figure out which movie is which, I AM NOT GOING TO HELP YOU. That is an education you must reach for on your own, Grasshopper. Robots will kill your computer and car, you can live in the woods or an island, and quite happily. Or you know, in a magnet factory (my first line of defense.) Zombies will EAT your FACE MEAT. Being eaten is far worse than being denied ICanHazCheeseburger or having to play a game of computer chess, I'm just saying.

(And think about my icon: robots will destroy the sign THAT WARNS YOU ABOUT ZOMBIES.)

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