THIS WILL BE ENTERTAINING!!

[stoney321]

Come on, it's Friday. I blew off exercise, so you can blow off work. I'm a mom. I'll write you a note.

Let's play a game!! Is it a 70s Porno, or legitimate title of a 30s - 40s movie? Or feel free to offer your suggestions! (Inspired by the movie meme I posted yesterday - I KNOW. I meme'd. Dun keel mee.) I'll list "titles" and you reply with which you think it is: porno title or pre-war movie. Give a "synopsis" of what you think the movie is about. Heh.



[ETA] In case this isn't clear, this is meant to be silly. And porny. Okay... GO!
[ETA 2] Okay, this really isn't clear: make up funny pornos so I can laugh. Hahaha!

Foolish Wives
The Bank Dick
Seven Chances
Taboo
Me and My Gal
I am a Fugitive From A Chain Gang
Trouble in Paradise
Cream Streets
She Done Him Wrong
It Happened One Night
Caught From Behind
The Thin Man
The Thin Man Returns
Jezebel
Catch Me If You Can
Dance, Girl, Dance
The Magnificent Ambersons
Dictation
Eaten Alive
Once Upon a Girl

So. Which are which? And what were they about? Heh heh.

In other news, I am impatiently waiting for the new season of Squidbillies to start back on Adult Swim, and it may be as beloved by me as South Park. And that's saying something. "How you like that mess?" You can watch the initial episode that explains what the hell it is, HERE. And the conclusion is here. It's... it's pretty left-field. Which is why I love it. (The gimmie caps!!
I ♥ Cock
fighting.
Hahahaha!)

Comments

[slasheuse.livejournal.com]

My mum wrote me a note! Well, not really. But I am sick off work.

SO looking forward to seeing you! *is stuck in bed right now*

[tinpanalley.livejournal.com]

Eaten Alive is clearly a 70's porn film about a man who went down on a woman and was eaten alive by her alligator-snapping cunt! It's quite gruesome I've heard! ;)

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA. Best. game. EVER.

And you know what's scary? I was going to do a snarky "Things I've Learned from Porn" post today. And then you post this. It's going to be a pornriffic day!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*pets you and brings you soup!*

Poor little sickie. Can't wait for you girls to get here, too!!!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oooh, post! post!! (I may sneak out at lunch and see either Little Miss SUnshine, or Talladega Nights. I may have to flip a coin!!)

Porn me up, baby!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Mostly, that aligator pussy was PISSED. And we all know how violent snapping pissed-off aligator pussies can be.

Which is a shame, really, because the fluffer claimed she tasted of Cinna-Bon essence.

(oh my god, this might be the best game of the DAY!)

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

Me and My Gal is about a widowed man who has taken custordy of his pre-teen daughter who has Tim Brooke Taylor as a best friend and a mother-in-law who is stern but comedic in theme with the rest of the writing.

No, that would be an 80's English tv programme. I think it's then to do with underage prositution and sheep. Just because. Dirty bloody 30 something theatre watchers.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

In order:

Foolish Wives - porn
The Bank Dick - film noir (seen it)
Seven Chances - film noir?
Taboo - porn
Me and My Gal - 40's romantic comedy
I am a Fugitive From A Chain Gang - 30's (wasn't this a Bogart vehicle?)
Trouble in Paradise - porn
Cream Streets - definitely porn
She Done Him Wrong - Mae West movie, very funny (seen it)
It Happened One Night - Clark Gable! (seen it)
Caught From Behind - porn
The Thin Man - Film Noir (seen it)
The Thin Man Returns - Film Noir (seen it)
Jezebel - Bette Davis! (seen it)
Catch Me If You Can - That came out last year or the year before, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and whatshisname from Philadelphia.
Dance, Girl, Dance - hmm. Porn?
The Magnificent Ambersons - 30's film
Dictation - porn?
Eaten Alive - horror movie by Tobe Hooper
Once Upon a Girl - porn

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

I was going to see Little Miss Sunshine tonight if it's playing here! And then Talladega Nights tomorrow or Sunday afternoon after church.

Uhm, are we the same person?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

The sheep are underaged? Because I'm thinking lamb is far more tender.

Can they have wacky adventures in a truck in the mountains of New Zealand? Humping and friending all the lonely undersaged sheep they meet? Also, a pizza delivery man shows up, and joins in. Just like every 70s porno ever made.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

no, no... you are to make up porno plots to the legitimate movies. Heh.

My hat is OFF TO YOU for knowing the actual answers. (Trouble in Paradise is also a legitimate movie, though!)

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

The sheep are underaged and COUSINS, because you can never up the taboo factor enough to get the punters in.

Wacky adventures are manditory. Also so are the pizza delivery men. Hmmmmm, pizza. Fuck off delivery men, I'm just after the pizza.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

NO WE ARE NOT, because you should have seen Will FIRST. *cries bitterly* hahahaha.

MOVIES!! Oh, man I love movies. And you!

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

Oh crap, I didn't get that bit. I was too proud having made out actual words.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Okay, you're in the movie. THAT'S where the underaged part come in. Okay. So: pizza guy shows up, punting hobbits out of the way (remember, mountain setting) starts lubing up the lambs with lanolin (to REALLY up the taboos) and you go to town on the pizza.


I like it. So. What kind of pizza? And do the lambs bleet softly and with seduction? I mean, how do they respond to the touch of lonely men in NZ?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHA. I have TEARS from our current thread, D.

[floweringjudas.livejournal.com]

The Magnificent Ambersons! *geeks out* Was supposed to be Orson Welles's best movie evar, except he could never get funding and shot, like, scenes at a time when he had the money for it. They finally made a version of it a few years ago and it had Jonathan Rhys-Meyers in.

...did I remember all that correctly? *goes to cheat at imdb*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

No, no, the Magnificent Ambersons was about a family of cock suckers that did their job SO WONDERFULLY, people fell about in tears and wonderment.

Also, they did splits and spelled out their partner's name with sparklers while sucking. It's really beautiful. Kind of Fellini-esque, until the spooge hits. Then it's just straight up Spaghetti Western.

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

The pizzas also have lamb on them, confusing the herd and causing them to run about, but in slow motion as the camera pans up their wooly sensual legs.

The pizza I eat. THen the other pizza. Then a couple of corn chips that have fallen down behind the oouch cusions. The sheep still strut.

The sheep are sluts. You know they want it, you know they want it BAD!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Well, of COURSE the sheep are sluts. I mean, with those come-hither eyes and their painted hooves? Please. They're bleating for it.

I like how the pizza - with you eating a bite in slow motion - brings the film back full circle. First, we raise the sheep. Then, we fuck the sheep. The femmeslashers eat the sheep, then we "eat" the sheep.

Brilliant. *steals some corn chips*

[tinpanalley.livejournal.com]

Caught from Behind is also a porn film about a young college student who has wild sex with his professor every night. One day, the president of the university finds them in a compromising postion, hence the professor is "caught from behind." And, at first the president wants to expel the student and fire the professor, but after a moment of thought, he decides to join in!

I have porn on the brain today! :)

[dedra.livejournal.com]

Cream Streets--do I actually have to write this?

*hangs head*

Okay, well...Long Dong Silver, John Holmes, and Jake the Snake are private 'dicks' in the mean streets of LA, fighting crime and come with their own version of a gun...or is that a pistol in their pocket? They are surrounded like woah! by busty sexy blondes in miniskirts that they call Toots, Schweetheart, and BabyCakes, and their sexcretary, Miss Moneylover, keeps them busy on their off hours with their side job, exotic male dancing...

How was that?

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahahahaha! My tummy hurts, and not just from the pizza. I hope a painted tart sheep will lick these cheese strings that run down the front of my top though. *shakes bewbies and sad looking haggered sheep*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, right, right... I think I've seen that.

I have to say, the use of the hanging file folders was inspiring. That college president whipped up a "Chinese Love basket" quickly out of them, and then... Well.

I've never looked at a stapler the same, since.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

We need to let the humidity reall take over your hair, and put some peroxide in it, so they'll take you as one of their own.

Then those sheep will gently unbutton your top with their hooves. Okay, I'm not gonna lie to you. It's not going to be gentle. They have no opposable thumbs. But I have a salve for the hoof marks, so keep working the face for the camera, okay?

You're gonna be a star. A big, big star.