[personal profile] stoney321
National Talk Like a Pirate Day! Arr, 'tis true, 'tis true. If ya be lookin' fer some booty, perhaps ye'd be innerested in clickin' on this here link to a swashbuckling tale of pirates, Commodores, and the birth of legends. It's a whopper of a fish tale. *slips into Large Marge mode: Yep: that was the worst accident I'd ever seeeeeen.*

IN OTHER NEWS: How awesome was the Daily Show last night? Dammit, Bill. I want Clinton back as President. Also: My flist seems divided on the Studio 60 love, and I have to say that I fall on the excited side. I was not "meh" at all. SO MANY INSIDE SNL BITS! I wonder what Al Franken thinks about being represented? (He and his partner Tom Davis - who also had a cocaine problem and was his longtime writing partner - were ceremonially fired, then re-hired and asked to use their political skits again. Nice.) I liked Chanandler Bongg on this, too. He didn't have the exaggerated facial-tics of sit-commyness, so it worked nicely. I like Matthew Perry. He's Matthew Perry in everything he does, so that's a good thing. The religious girl? Could be a cross between Victoria Jackson (Born again Christian) and Nora Roberts, who left in a huff - she had high standards. When Lorne Michaels left in 1980, Jane Doumian took over the show and re-vamped the whole thing. It sucked, she was fired, Dick Ebersol took over, they found Eddie Murphy, they then brought Lorne back a few years later when Eddie left and the show blew. (Anyone remember the Anthony Michael Hall/Joan Cusak/Robert Downey Jr. year? No one else does, either.)

All in all: Studio 60 a thumbs up. Good snappy dialogue - Robert Altman like direction? What's not to like? [ETA] because I'm always forgetting things. The PA chick? That knew who Matt Perry's character was and was all sheepish? That was Tracy from Signs. The girl that worked at a pharmacy and confessed to Mel Gibson about saying douchebag to her boyfriend 97 times? Hahahaha. Just a random thing that finally hit my brain. Whee! I liked her. Sheepish characters make me happy.

For the non-TV watchers, I give you More Trashy Teen Novel mockery! Some people might question the brain cells I'm wasting. Some people don't understand my need for mockage. IT IS A NEED. Not in a mean way (I think) but in a "HA HA, I looooved this shit when I was 13!" way. So I'm poking fun at myself. AT MYSELF. *cries, rends clothing*

We last left off with excerpts here, and a little fun-making here. (Um, the thread there gets WAY off track with some Angel/Connor smut, so just read the first one.)

So Caitlin: beautiful. Dazzling. Charming. And very very clever. Also, very much a one-dimensional Season 1 Cordelia, wheeee! But she's mean because her austere granny doesn't LOVE HER. She's being groomed to be an appendage for her grandmother to make business deals. We are reminded of that OVER AND OVER. And no one knows her secret. *sniffs* They can't know! The social structure of Highgate Academy DEPENDS ON HER BEING PERCEIVED AS AWESOME. The world would end if she fell apart, people. Also, the kids call each other "kids." Man, I did that. Didn't you? "Hey, kid!" "Hey, little guy!" WTF?

So, we find that in her quest to steal Jed away from that Plain and Out Of Style Diana (purlease. Those clothes? Boys are SO into fashion!) that she left a shed unlocked and BAGS OF POISON fell to the floor. Which the 6 year old Perfect Child with Adorable Listhp IMMEDIATELY raced to when Diana was distracted. (Probably making cow eyes at Jed. Or was she?? Bum bum bum!!!) Don't you see? CAITLIN CAUSED THE CHILD TO BE IN A COMA. But Jed thinks DIANA did. So she gets him. But what of her SOUL???

When Caitlin realizes that SHE, glorious, beautiful, dazzling and very very clever SHE caused the accident, why, she does what any self-respecting girl that is dazzling and very very clever does: gets her horse out in the pouring rain (on her birthday, which her Grandmother FORGOT, woe) mindless of the stable man who will likely lose his job - and who figures "fuck that crazy woman. I'm gonna sit in the barn and wait for her to come back - I ain't goin' out in the pouring rain!" She rides until he CROSSES HIMSELF at the sight of her. "Oh, god, Miss Caitlin... What have you done?" Wet clothes, hair, reins clamped so tightly in her fists... Aren't we all weeping for our heroine? But has the rain washed her sins away and left her renewed and reborn?

NO.

Or has it? This is all BOOK ONE. Ahahahahaha!!! GENIUS. Oh, she gets Jed in Book One. Under false pretense, I might add. Because she lets Diana take the fall. She lets Diana LEAVE SCHOOL in DISGRACE, omg. And she gets her man - but loses her SOUL.

Jed finally kisses her (which she wished would go on forever), she confesses about her parent's deaths and her Grandmother's Austere Nature, and we have the following: (italics are property of Joanna Campbell and Francine Pascal - I ain't claiming it. The rest is mine.)

Jed lifted a hand and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Oh Caitlin," he whispered. "How could they do this to you?" For a long moment he looked deeply into her eyes, his fingers caressing her cheek. When he finally spoke, his voice was husky. "I don't want you to feel unloved anymore."
"Sometimes it's hard not to."
"But I love you."
Caitlin swallowed, barely believing what she was hearing. "You - you do?"
"Very much." He smiled softly. "I thought you knew."



"I- I couldn't have. You just stand about in your clean cut and well-fitting tan cords - never letting me forget you're from Montana in your plaid shirts and cowboy boots, while I stand about looking glamorous in jodhpurs and indigo JUMPSUITS with my flashing eyes and raven-hair. We just look beautiful - we don't emote. Unless I'm being evil and plotting revenge. I mean... Do you ever hear from Diana?"

"No, which is conveniently allowing me to fall in love with you until everything blows up in my face. Say, let's get to book 2 so that can happen. Then we can devote the rest of the book to the PSA."

Caitlin raised her perfect face, gave a tiny, kittenish pout with her perfect rosebud lips, blinked her thick, sooty lashes - allowing her violet eyes to peer through them like a panther in the jungle - and demurred, "Yes. It is 1985, and the girls of the world need to learn about Anorexia Nervosa, which is apparently brought about by being NERVOUS."

"I love you Caitlin. I want to spend a paragraph emoting now, like all 16 year old boys from Montana do. Mmmm, 16 year old boys from Montana..."

"Jed? Brokeback Mountain won't be written for a while. Let's talk about fashion. Or me."

"I love you, Caitlin."

"You said that already, Jed."

On to Book Two.... HEEE HEE!

Except not for a bit, because I'm going to buy NEW SHOES, joy! I mean, YARR! (Miles walked today: 9.56 according to my cool, new pedometer.)
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Date: 2006-09-19 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likeadeuce.livejournal.com
I heard something about the Christian character being based on one of Sorkin's exes, though I don't know who that would be.

Anyway, I really liked the show, and I didn't particularly expect to, so I have hopes.

Date: 2006-09-19 04:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Oooh, nice! I don't know much about Sorkin's personal life, aside from his own troubles with cocaine (WW got a little preachy to me there for a bit, not to mention coming on during Get Kids Bathed and To Bed Time)

I liked it, too. Looking forward to where it can GO. :D

Date: 2006-09-19 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] southernbangel.livejournal.com
I LOVED the show last night. I have always loved Sorkin's dialogue and last night was a great example of the rapid-fire non-sitcom-y delivery. I adore Matt and Danny as BFF, and I love Amanda Peet's character, Jordan. Then again, I'm a big AP fan ANYway. So, there you go. I'm interested to see what they do with Harry's faith. It's interesting to see a religious/faithful character that's. . . normal, and not a stereotype* of (a) the 7th Heaven variety where everyone is perfect and lovely and YAY!!GOD!!! or (b) the hypocritical, bigoted, spiteful Christian.


*Not playing the "woe is me and my mainstream religion!" card. I just think it's refreshing to see (so far) a religious person whose faith is very important to her, but she still manages to be cool. :D

Date: 2006-09-19 04:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] julia-here.livejournal.com
[livejournal.com profile] rlf_17* is also very hot on Studio 60, so we may well end up watching it here, when SciFi is done with Dark Angel. But, damn, Dark Angel! Speaking of what's wrong with television these days, start with a hot, politically loaded science fistion show, and then strangles it in its crib by shifting it around the schedule so even its biggest fans can't find it.

Julia, Mr. Space being a big Sorkin fanboy, he'll probably want to watch, assuming he ever starts coming home before 10pm

*Never posts on lj, mod at the S'cubie Board, female PhD working on alcoholic fruitflies.

Date: 2006-09-19 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likeadeuce.livejournal.com
The West Wing and even Sports Night were both on the preachy side for me. There's definitely that haranguing angle to this show, but this time out Sorkin has been smart enough to keep that all in character with the old producer. And I think because we're talking about television rather than The Fate of the Free World (TM), I'm going to be able to enjoy the politics more.

I'm making sacrifices to the TV Gods for Heroes and Studio 60 both to keep up the artistic quality and stay on the air, because it's been ages since I've had a bloc of television on a network that I wanted to watch, on a night I *could* watch. Ages.

Date: 2006-09-19 05:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
I really liked it, too. And yeah - she's religious, but not a wacko. I did like that the 700 Club was mentioned as a show hosted by a bigot, but I liked that she did it because she's inspired by people who have nothing but their faith. Nice touches. I REALLY am looking forward to where it all goes.

HI LEE!

Date: 2006-09-19 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lettered.livejournal.com
Dude, I wanted to watch S60. I forgot it was one. I've never seen the West Wing, ever. Heard it was good, though. I just don't watch tv enough.

Anyway, HAHAHAHHAHA! Oh Caitlin, your heart is a walnut but if you got naked on a bed for a whole episode with Buffy and Spike fucking beside you, I'd ...still want David Boreanaz. But oh Caitlin, if you ...were a pirate?

ZOMG stable man/Jed forever!

Date: 2006-09-19 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lettered.livejournal.com
I meant, forgot it was on. duh.

Date: 2006-09-19 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
It's clever, fast-paced, and only a little preachy so far. Aaron Sorkin gets a bit soap-boxy for me after a while, but I really REALLY like the actors on this show, and the writing is (as usual) better than most TV fare not on HBO. I highly reccommend it!

Date: 2006-09-19 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
I liked some of the West Wing - I loved the first season, then it was a weird time slot, and then it was preachy. Which is how he rolls, yo. But still - Matthew Perry and the rest of the cast are SO WATCHABLE. (And it's smart, and has insider Hollywood info, so I'm TOTALLY THERE.)

ZOMG, Jed and Stable Boy would be AWESOME. He could be all "let me show you how we get sheep over the fence in Montana, Stable Boy." and SB would be like, "But Miss Caitlin'll whoop me som'un fierce, Massah Jed. Bes' we high-tail it to thuh crick where them hunt dogs ont find us."

I like the idea of the stabe boy being an antebellum slave. But white, like in the book.

ANd Caitlin will be all "Hmm, Jed will TOTALLY ENJOY seeing me in my tassled loafers, straight legged Jordache Jeans, and eggplant blouse that has puffed sleeves and buttons at the wrist. What's that moaning from the stable? Oh, look how pretty I am! I should kick Diana in the hallway at school today. La la la."

Date: 2006-09-19 05:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
I never saw much of Sports Night, aside from a few moments here and there. It looked smart and clever. (What's his name from SN and Six Feet Under likes those dramedy/preachy roles, doesn't he?)

And yeah - hoping the "I Can Save Televison With My Smarts!" preaching has its humorous moments. Or I may look askance. ASKANCE!

And ditto on the TV block. SHEESH, GOOD TV! *looks for it EVERYWHERE*

Date: 2006-09-19 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lettered.livejournal.com
I like the idea of the stabe boy being an antebellum slave. But white, like in the book.

I was going to ask about that. And then my world went Jim/Huck Finn and I got kinda weirded out.

Caitlin's an idiot. She should've totally gone with the powder blue pull-over that accented the slimness of her waist and masked the utter non-existence of her breasts.

Date: 2006-09-19 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brandil.livejournal.com
::not reading the caitlin spoilers::

::hides eyes::

Date: 2006-09-19 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] southernbangel.livejournal.com
I cheered the "Pat Robertson is a bigot" bit because he is. (Seriously, hate him. HATE HIM.) Her reasoning for going on the show--while maybe not the best idea because Pat Robertson sucks donkey balls (and I hear he likes it!)--was what got me. I'm definitely interested in seeing how it plays out and whether she remains a woman who is smart, sexy, funny and just happens to be a Christian or becomes more of a ZOMG!CHRISTIANITYwoman.

HI STONEY! Have you bought your shoes yet?!?

Date: 2006-09-19 05:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Dude, it's all about Becky/Jim, COME ON. And Huck/Bare feet. Possibly pirate treasure/Tom's knapsack. AND WE'RE FULL CIRCLE. Yarr.

ANd no, Caitlin's stacked. She's got curves in all the right places. We are reminded of this in Book 2 when she CURES THE GIRL WITH ANOREXIA NERVOSA. Contracted from an upset. Because it's a virus. (And purple and indigo are colors of CHOICE because they match her eyes, which is Always Mentioned.) *flashes eyes*

Date: 2006-09-19 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Okay, I'm wrapping up 2 and 3 today, I bought envelopes (paid and addressed) for you, then TBQ, so you should get them this weekend, hurrah!

WHEE CRAP FIC!! (Dude, pay attention to how many times Coke is name dropped. This series is ALL about the brand names! Hee!)

Date: 2006-09-19 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brandil.livejournal.com
You rock.

So. Excited.

Curious to see if I can figure out why I loved that book with such an unholy obsession when I was younger. Bad taste is probably the only answer.

Date: 2006-09-19 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
I think I identified with her love of boys with Cleft Chins and slim, athletic builds and how her parents/grandmother were liars and CRUEL.

*loves all the orphan books ever EVER* Hahahaha! *loves you*

Date: 2006-09-19 06:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lettered.livejournal.com
I was wondering whether a book like that would mention her breasts. I forgot the word "curves".

But you know, that's why the powder blue is so much better from her. Draws away the attention from the freaky eyes. But you know, if I were you, spork/eyes would be like, my new OTP, totally rules over Injun Joe/whitewashed fence. Which does bring us rather nicely back to Jeb/SB/fence.

Date: 2006-09-19 06:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Man, I just got to the part where Caitlin - charming. Dazzling. Beautiful. And very very clever. just disguised herself in order to Save The Anorectic [sic] and maybe, just maybe win back the boy she loved, but it'll be too late, I bet. It'll be Jed/Mississippi River, and you can't walk away from that. YOU CAN'T.

Not even for a very very clever rich girl with raven-locks and purple eyes and a determination to fix a boy with Broken Legs. My god. This tale just gets better and better! You know what it needs? The ghost of her dead mother telling her how to survive. And as she pleads for Caitlin to "get out... get away.. all the way to the Eff-a, Bee- Eye" with a haunting whooooOOOOoooooOOoo and her hand outstretched, she gets sidelined by a bus. And on the bus? JED. COMING BACK TO HER.

Date: 2006-09-19 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lettered.livejournal.com
be Jed/Mississippi River, and you can't walk away from that. YOU CAN'T.


They don't know how to quit each other.

And on the bus? JED. COMING BACK TO HER.

Except everybody on the bus has an epidemic of amnesia, because that hasn't happened yet, I mean because of an accident on the bus. So Jed doesn't REMEMBER Caitlin--charming. Dazzling. Beautiful. And very very clever, and while she waters his hospital bed with her tears (you go to the hospital for amnesia. The whole bus is in the hospital; the families of the victims are all friends by now, and Caitlin has made each of them a care package that compliments her violet eyes) Jed drowns in her tears and DIES. Except that that was actually Jed's twin brother JEB. And Caitlin cries and says, but I always wanted my last name to be ADIAH, like Jeb's was (because ADIAH reminds her of her white slave antibellum stable boy, who used to tell her she had "a diah need ta get dat pole removed frum her bahkside, which Caitlin took as a compliment to her posture, because NO one could ever insult her, least of all Diana who CAN'T EVEN RIDE) and then Jed reveals, bum bum bum, that as Jeb's brother, his last name is ADIAH too.

Because amnesia and twins are necessary.

Date: 2006-09-19 06:48 pm (UTC)
ext_7299: (Gelphie for good)
From: [identity profile] redbrickrose.livejournal.com
Kristen Chenoweth? (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0155693/)

Very Christian and formerly of the West Wing. (Also her in the icon, she was the original Glinda in Wicked). I don't know details of their relationship though, just that they dated at one point.

Date: 2006-09-19 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thebratqueen.livejournal.com
OMGYAY!!!!!

Fun Fact

Date: 2006-09-19 06:55 pm (UTC)
ext_7299: (Gelphie for good)
From: [identity profile] redbrickrose.livejournal.com
I mentioned above to
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<ljuser="likeadeuce">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

I mentioned above to <ljuser="likeadeuce"> that this character could be based on <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0155693/"> Kristin Chenoweth </a> if it's really based on an ex. She's certainly very religious, but in a not crazy way, and she used to be on The West Wing. (I know this about her personal life only because I spend entirely too much time reading RPFS about her and Idina Menzel and, you know, other relationships come up in fic *g*). Interestingly, she was also once a guest on the 700 Club, but then said she regretted it later because, well, she didn't use the word bigoted, but it was implied.

So yeah, probably more than you wanted to know, but fun trivia!

Date: 2006-09-19 06:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Ooh, and the big reveal about Jeb is at his FUNERAL when a gust of wind in the open casket (all the better to marvel at the Dimpled Chin) blows the corpse's hair back from his alabaster brow to reveal a BIRTH MARK. And Jed - remembering who he is upon the sight of his dead twin in the coffin and realizing he isn't Bill the taxedermist who bears a striking resemblence to the Hero - rushes to his Eggplant orbed beauty, accidentally kicking the lever that lowers his brother into the ground, and her cries are drowned out by the machinery.

But when she lookes deeply into his Flashing Green Eyes, she knows, Joy she knows it's him, and they embrace, him cuddling her to his chest, for That Is What Heroes and Heroines Do, and they sob openly, then the preacher kicks the astroturf into the hole so he can now take on Marriage Preacher and they are MARRIED ON THE SPOT.

...and Diana sits in a far away Banyan tree while a single note blows from a reed intrument and plots her revenge.
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