National Talk Like a Pirate Day! Arr, 'tis true, 'tis true. If ya be lookin' fer some booty, perhaps ye'd be innerested in clickin' on this here link to a swashbuckling tale of pirates, Commodores, and the birth of legends. It's a whopper of a fish tale. *slips into Large Marge mode: Yep: that was the worst accident I'd ever seeeeeen.*
IN OTHER NEWS: How awesome was the Daily Show last night? Dammit, Bill. I want Clinton back as President. Also: My flist seems divided on the Studio 60 love, and I have to say that I fall on the excited side. I was not "meh" at all. SO MANY INSIDE SNL BITS! I wonder what Al Franken thinks about being represented? (He and his partner Tom Davis - who also had a cocaine problem and was his longtime writing partner - were ceremonially fired, then re-hired and asked to use their political skits again. Nice.) I liked Chanandler Bongg on this, too. He didn't have the exaggerated facial-tics of sit-commyness, so it worked nicely. I like Matthew Perry. He's Matthew Perry in everything he does, so that's a good thing. The religious girl? Could be a cross between Victoria Jackson (Born again Christian) and Nora Roberts, who left in a huff - she had high standards. When Lorne Michaels left in 1980, Jane Doumian took over the show and re-vamped the whole thing. It sucked, she was fired, Dick Ebersol took over, they found Eddie Murphy, they then brought Lorne back a few years later when Eddie left and the show blew. (Anyone remember the Anthony Michael Hall/Joan Cusak/Robert Downey Jr. year? No one else does, either.)
All in all: Studio 60 a thumbs up. Good snappy dialogue - Robert Altman like direction? What's not to like? [ETA] because I'm always forgetting things. The PA chick? That knew who Matt Perry's character was and was all sheepish? That was Tracy from Signs. The girl that worked at a pharmacy and confessed to Mel Gibson about saying douchebag to her boyfriend 97 times? Hahahaha. Just a random thing that finally hit my brain. Whee! I liked her. Sheepish characters make me happy.
For the non-TV watchers, I give you More Trashy Teen Novel mockery! Some people might question the brain cells I'm wasting. Some people don't understand my need for mockage. IT IS A NEED. Not in a mean way (I think) but in a "HA HA, I looooved this shit when I was 13!" way. So I'm poking fun at myself. AT MYSELF. *cries, rends clothing*
We last left off with excerpts here, and a little fun-making here. (Um, the thread there gets WAY off track with some Angel/Connor smut, so just read the first one.)
So Caitlin: beautiful. Dazzling. Charming. And very very clever. Also, very much a one-dimensional Season 1 Cordelia, wheeee! But she's mean because her austere granny doesn't LOVE HER. She's being groomed to be an appendage for her grandmother to make business deals. We are reminded of that OVER AND OVER. And no one knows her secret. *sniffs* They can't know! The social structure of Highgate Academy DEPENDS ON HER BEING PERCEIVED AS AWESOME. The world would end if she fell apart, people. Also, the kids call each other "kids." Man, I did that. Didn't you? "Hey, kid!" "Hey, little guy!" WTF?
So, we find that in her quest to steal Jed away from that Plain and Out Of Style Diana (purlease. Those clothes? Boys are SO into fashion!) that she left a shed unlocked and BAGS OF POISON fell to the floor. Which the 6 year old Perfect Child with Adorable Listhp IMMEDIATELY raced to when Diana was distracted. (Probably making cow eyes at Jed. Or was she?? Bum bum bum!!!) Don't you see? CAITLIN CAUSED THE CHILD TO BE IN A COMA. But Jed thinks DIANA did. So she gets him. But what of her SOUL???
When Caitlin realizes that SHE, glorious, beautiful, dazzling and very very clever SHE caused the accident, why, she does what any self-respecting girl that is dazzling and very very clever does: gets her horse out in the pouring rain (on her birthday, which her Grandmother FORGOT, woe) mindless of the stable man who will likely lose his job - and who figures "fuck that crazy woman. I'm gonna sit in the barn and wait for her to come back - I ain't goin' out in the pouring rain!" She rides until he CROSSES HIMSELF at the sight of her. "Oh, god, Miss Caitlin... What have you done?" Wet clothes, hair, reins clamped so tightly in her fists... Aren't we all weeping for our heroine? But has the rain washed her sins away and left her renewed and reborn?
NO.
Or has it? This is all BOOK ONE. Ahahahahaha!!! GENIUS. Oh, she gets Jed in Book One. Under false pretense, I might add. Because she lets Diana take the fall. She lets Diana LEAVE SCHOOL in DISGRACE, omg. And she gets her man - but loses her SOUL.
Jed finally kisses her (which she wished would go on forever), she confesses about her parent's deaths and her Grandmother's Austere Nature, and we have the following: (italics are property of Joanna Campbell and Francine Pascal - I ain't claiming it. The rest is mine.)
"I- I couldn't have. You just stand about in your clean cut and well-fitting tan cords - never letting me forget you're from Montana in your plaid shirts and cowboy boots, while I stand about looking glamorous in jodhpurs and indigo JUMPSUITS with my flashing eyes and raven-hair. We just look beautiful - we don't emote. Unless I'm being evil and plotting revenge. I mean... Do you ever hear from Diana?"
"No, which is conveniently allowing me to fall in love with you until everything blows up in my face. Say, let's get to book 2 so that can happen. Then we can devote the rest of the book to the PSA."
Caitlin raised her perfect face, gave a tiny, kittenish pout with her perfect rosebud lips, blinked her thick, sooty lashes - allowing her violet eyes to peer through them like a panther in the jungle - and demurred, "Yes. It is 1985, and the girls of the world need to learn about Anorexia Nervosa, which is apparently brought about by being NERVOUS."
"I love you Caitlin. I want to spend a paragraph emoting now, like all 16 year old boys from Montana do. Mmmm, 16 year old boys from Montana..."
"Jed? Brokeback Mountain won't be written for a while. Let's talk about fashion. Or me."
"I love you, Caitlin."
"You said that already, Jed."
On to Book Two.... HEEE HEE!
Except not for a bit, because I'm going to buy NEW SHOES, joy! I mean, YARR! (Miles walked today: 9.56 according to my cool, new pedometer.)
IN OTHER NEWS: How awesome was the Daily Show last night? Dammit, Bill. I want Clinton back as President. Also: My flist seems divided on the Studio 60 love, and I have to say that I fall on the excited side. I was not "meh" at all. SO MANY INSIDE SNL BITS! I wonder what Al Franken thinks about being represented? (He and his partner Tom Davis - who also had a cocaine problem and was his longtime writing partner - were ceremonially fired, then re-hired and asked to use their political skits again. Nice.) I liked Chanandler Bongg on this, too. He didn't have the exaggerated facial-tics of sit-commyness, so it worked nicely. I like Matthew Perry. He's Matthew Perry in everything he does, so that's a good thing. The religious girl? Could be a cross between Victoria Jackson (Born again Christian) and Nora Roberts, who left in a huff - she had high standards. When Lorne Michaels left in 1980, Jane Doumian took over the show and re-vamped the whole thing. It sucked, she was fired, Dick Ebersol took over, they found Eddie Murphy, they then brought Lorne back a few years later when Eddie left and the show blew. (Anyone remember the Anthony Michael Hall/Joan Cusak/Robert Downey Jr. year? No one else does, either.)
All in all: Studio 60 a thumbs up. Good snappy dialogue - Robert Altman like direction? What's not to like? [ETA] because I'm always forgetting things. The PA chick? That knew who Matt Perry's character was and was all sheepish? That was Tracy from Signs. The girl that worked at a pharmacy and confessed to Mel Gibson about saying douchebag to her boyfriend 97 times? Hahahaha. Just a random thing that finally hit my brain. Whee! I liked her. Sheepish characters make me happy.
For the non-TV watchers, I give you More Trashy Teen Novel mockery! Some people might question the brain cells I'm wasting. Some people don't understand my need for mockage. IT IS A NEED. Not in a mean way (I think) but in a "HA HA, I looooved this shit when I was 13!" way. So I'm poking fun at myself. AT MYSELF. *cries, rends clothing*
We last left off with excerpts here, and a little fun-making here. (Um, the thread there gets WAY off track with some Angel/Connor smut, so just read the first one.)
So Caitlin: beautiful. Dazzling. Charming. And very very clever. Also, very much a one-dimensional Season 1 Cordelia, wheeee! But she's mean because her austere granny doesn't LOVE HER. She's being groomed to be an appendage for her grandmother to make business deals. We are reminded of that OVER AND OVER. And no one knows her secret. *sniffs* They can't know! The social structure of Highgate Academy DEPENDS ON HER BEING PERCEIVED AS AWESOME. The world would end if she fell apart, people. Also, the kids call each other "kids." Man, I did that. Didn't you? "Hey, kid!" "Hey, little guy!" WTF?
So, we find that in her quest to steal Jed away from that Plain and Out Of Style Diana (purlease. Those clothes? Boys are SO into fashion!) that she left a shed unlocked and BAGS OF POISON fell to the floor. Which the 6 year old Perfect Child with Adorable Listhp IMMEDIATELY raced to when Diana was distracted. (Probably making cow eyes at Jed. Or was she?? Bum bum bum!!!) Don't you see? CAITLIN CAUSED THE CHILD TO BE IN A COMA. But Jed thinks DIANA did. So she gets him. But what of her SOUL???
When Caitlin realizes that SHE, glorious, beautiful, dazzling and very very clever SHE caused the accident, why, she does what any self-respecting girl that is dazzling and very very clever does: gets her horse out in the pouring rain (on her birthday, which her Grandmother FORGOT, woe) mindless of the stable man who will likely lose his job - and who figures "fuck that crazy woman. I'm gonna sit in the barn and wait for her to come back - I ain't goin' out in the pouring rain!" She rides until he CROSSES HIMSELF at the sight of her. "Oh, god, Miss Caitlin... What have you done?" Wet clothes, hair, reins clamped so tightly in her fists... Aren't we all weeping for our heroine? But has the rain washed her sins away and left her renewed and reborn?
NO.
Or has it? This is all BOOK ONE. Ahahahahaha!!! GENIUS. Oh, she gets Jed in Book One. Under false pretense, I might add. Because she lets Diana take the fall. She lets Diana LEAVE SCHOOL in DISGRACE, omg. And she gets her man - but loses her SOUL.
Jed finally kisses her (which she wished would go on forever), she confesses about her parent's deaths and her Grandmother's Austere Nature, and we have the following: (italics are property of Joanna Campbell and Francine Pascal - I ain't claiming it. The rest is mine.)
Jed lifted a hand and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Oh Caitlin," he whispered. "How could they do this to you?" For a long moment he looked deeply into her eyes, his fingers caressing her cheek. When he finally spoke, his voice was husky. "I don't want you to feel unloved anymore."
"Sometimes it's hard not to."
"But I love you."
Caitlin swallowed, barely believing what she was hearing. "You - you do?"
"Very much." He smiled softly. "I thought you knew."
"I- I couldn't have. You just stand about in your clean cut and well-fitting tan cords - never letting me forget you're from Montana in your plaid shirts and cowboy boots, while I stand about looking glamorous in jodhpurs and indigo JUMPSUITS with my flashing eyes and raven-hair. We just look beautiful - we don't emote. Unless I'm being evil and plotting revenge. I mean... Do you ever hear from Diana?"
"No, which is conveniently allowing me to fall in love with you until everything blows up in my face. Say, let's get to book 2 so that can happen. Then we can devote the rest of the book to the PSA."
Caitlin raised her perfect face, gave a tiny, kittenish pout with her perfect rosebud lips, blinked her thick, sooty lashes - allowing her violet eyes to peer through them like a panther in the jungle - and demurred, "Yes. It is 1985, and the girls of the world need to learn about Anorexia Nervosa, which is apparently brought about by being NERVOUS."
"I love you Caitlin. I want to spend a paragraph emoting now, like all 16 year old boys from Montana do. Mmmm, 16 year old boys from Montana..."
"Jed? Brokeback Mountain won't be written for a while. Let's talk about fashion. Or me."
"I love you, Caitlin."
"You said that already, Jed."
On to Book Two.... HEEE HEE!
Except not for a bit, because I'm going to buy NEW SHOES, joy! I mean, YARR! (Miles walked today: 9.56 according to my cool, new pedometer.)
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Date: 2006-09-19 04:11 pm (UTC)Anyway, I really liked the show, and I didn't particularly expect to, so I have hopes.
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Date: 2006-09-19 04:20 pm (UTC)I liked it, too. Looking forward to where it can GO. :D
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Date: 2006-09-19 04:24 pm (UTC)*Not playing the "woe is me and my mainstream religion!" card. I just think it's refreshing to see (so far) a religious person whose faith is very important to her, but she still manages to be cool. :D
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Date: 2006-09-19 04:38 pm (UTC)Julia, Mr. Space being a big Sorkin fanboy, he'll probably want to watch, assuming he ever starts coming home before 10pm
*Never posts on lj, mod at the S'cubie Board, female PhD working on alcoholic fruitflies.
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Date: 2006-09-19 04:45 pm (UTC)I'm making sacrifices to the TV Gods for Heroes and Studio 60 both to keep up the artistic quality and stay on the air, because it's been ages since I've had a bloc of television on a network that I wanted to watch, on a night I *could* watch. Ages.
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Date: 2006-09-19 05:04 pm (UTC)HI LEE!
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Date: 2006-09-19 05:05 pm (UTC)Anyway, HAHAHAHHAHA! Oh Caitlin, your heart is a walnut but if you got naked on a bed for a whole episode with Buffy and Spike fucking beside you, I'd ...still want David Boreanaz. But oh Caitlin, if you ...were a pirate?
ZOMG stable man/Jed forever!
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Date: 2006-09-19 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-19 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-19 05:10 pm (UTC)ZOMG, Jed and Stable Boy would be AWESOME. He could be all "let me show you how we get sheep over the fence in Montana, Stable Boy." and SB would be like, "But Miss Caitlin'll whoop me som'un fierce, Massah Jed. Bes' we high-tail it to thuh crick where them hunt dogs ont find us."
I like the idea of the stabe boy being an antebellum slave. But white, like in the book.
ANd Caitlin will be all "Hmm, Jed will TOTALLY ENJOY seeing me in my tassled loafers, straight legged Jordache Jeans, and eggplant blouse that has puffed sleeves and buttons at the wrist. What's that moaning from the stable? Oh, look how pretty I am! I should kick Diana in the hallway at school today. La la la."
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Date: 2006-09-19 05:11 pm (UTC)And yeah - hoping the "I Can Save Televison With My Smarts!" preaching has its humorous moments. Or I may look askance. ASKANCE!
And ditto on the TV block. SHEESH, GOOD TV! *looks for it EVERYWHERE*
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Date: 2006-09-19 05:27 pm (UTC)I was going to ask about that. And then my world went Jim/Huck Finn and I got kinda weirded out.
Caitlin's an idiot. She should've totally gone with the powder blue pull-over that accented the slimness of her waist and masked the utter non-existence of her breasts.
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Date: 2006-09-19 05:37 pm (UTC)::hides eyes::
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Date: 2006-09-19 05:38 pm (UTC)HI STONEY! Have you bought your shoes yet?!?
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Date: 2006-09-19 05:55 pm (UTC)ANd no, Caitlin's stacked. She's got curves in all the right places. We are reminded of this in Book 2 when she CURES THE GIRL WITH ANOREXIA NERVOSA. Contracted from an upset. Because it's a virus. (And purple and indigo are colors of CHOICE because they match her eyes, which is Always Mentioned.) *flashes eyes*
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Date: 2006-09-19 05:57 pm (UTC)WHEE CRAP FIC!! (Dude, pay attention to how many times Coke is name dropped. This series is ALL about the brand names! Hee!)
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Date: 2006-09-19 06:01 pm (UTC)So. Excited.
Curious to see if I can figure out why I loved that book with such an unholy obsession when I was younger. Bad taste is probably the only answer.
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Date: 2006-09-19 06:05 pm (UTC)*loves all the orphan books ever EVER* Hahahaha! *loves you*
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Date: 2006-09-19 06:08 pm (UTC)But you know, that's why the powder blue is so much better from her. Draws away the attention from the freaky eyes. But you know, if I were you, spork/eyes would be like, my new OTP, totally rules over Injun Joe/whitewashed fence. Which does bring us rather nicely back to Jeb/SB/fence.
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Date: 2006-09-19 06:23 pm (UTC)Not even for a very very clever rich girl with raven-locks and purple eyes and a determination to fix a boy with Broken Legs. My god. This tale just gets better and better! You know what it needs? The ghost of her dead mother telling her how to survive. And as she pleads for Caitlin to "get out... get away.. all the way to the Eff-a, Bee- Eye" with a haunting whooooOOOOoooooOOoo and her hand outstretched, she gets sidelined by a bus. And on the bus? JED. COMING BACK TO HER.
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Date: 2006-09-19 06:39 pm (UTC)They don't know how to quit each other.
And on the bus? JED. COMING BACK TO HER.
Except everybody on the bus has an epidemic of amnesia, because that hasn't happened yet, I mean because of an accident on the bus. So Jed doesn't REMEMBER Caitlin--charming. Dazzling. Beautiful. And very very clever, and while she waters his hospital bed with her tears (you go to the hospital for amnesia. The whole bus is in the hospital; the families of the victims are all friends by now, and Caitlin has made each of them a care package that compliments her violet eyes) Jed drowns in her tears and DIES. Except that that was actually Jed's twin brother JEB. And Caitlin cries and says, but I always wanted my last name to be ADIAH, like Jeb's was (because ADIAH reminds her of her white slave antibellum stable boy, who used to tell her she had "a diah need ta get dat pole removed frum her bahkside, which Caitlin took as a compliment to her posture, because NO one could ever insult her, least of all Diana who CAN'T EVEN RIDE) and then Jed reveals, bum bum bum, that as Jeb's brother, his last name is ADIAH too.
Because amnesia and twins are necessary.
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Date: 2006-09-19 06:48 pm (UTC)Very Christian and formerly of the West Wing. (Also her in the icon, she was the original Glinda in Wicked). I don't know details of their relationship though, just that they dated at one point.
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Date: 2006-09-19 06:48 pm (UTC)Fun Fact
Date: 2006-09-19 06:55 pm (UTC)So yeah, probably more than you wanted to know, but fun trivia!
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Date: 2006-09-19 06:59 pm (UTC)alabasterbrow to reveal a BIRTH MARK. And Jed - remembering who he is upon the sight of his dead twin in the coffin and realizing he isn't Bill the taxedermist who bears a striking resemblence to the Hero - rushes to his Eggplant orbed beauty, accidentally kicking the lever that lowers his brother into the ground, and her cries are drowned out by the machinery.But when she lookes deeply into his Flashing Green Eyes, she knows, Joy she knows it's him, and they embrace, him cuddling her to his chest, for That Is What Heroes and Heroines Do, and they sob openly, then the preacher kicks the astroturf into the hole so he can now take on Marriage Preacher and they are MARRIED ON THE SPOT.
...and Diana sits in a far away Banyan tree while a single note blows from a reed intrument and plots her revenge.