I don't even know who I AM anymore

I spent the day writing almost 4000 words of kid-fic. KLAINE KID-FIC. Guys? I frakking HATE kid fic.* Oh, what a perfect little child, and isn't it precious how they cry? The parents always lovingly gaze at one another like, "So little [Purply Prose Name like Ameiliaigh or Randolphe or Doritos Cool Ranch Pay For Our Child's College Jr.] has made an oopsie in their Natural Cloth Organic Diaper, sweetums! Won't you help me as I change it? We can beam down at them, laughing and smiling as we remember how much we love each other whilst tenderly wiping their precious cargo/as you romantically propose to me."

And I of course know that in the real world that means it has sprayed up out of the back of their clothes and onto the white sofa (because in kid-fic they always have adult furniture and HAHAHAHA YOU CANNOT HAVE BEIGE COUCHES ANYMORE, WHAT ON EARTH?!). Sorry if that grosses you out, but that is what happens with actualfax children. And they never shut the hell up. I mean, their loving voices are constantly raised in song and wonder to the heavens.

Um. So. This is a fail-fic. And it makes me laugh really hard. And it's based on Real Life Events involving #2 and her RealLife Doll that she was responsible for in her Human Development class. Best. Birth-control. Ever.

Snerk. I'll post tomorrow. I JUST. What's next, song-fic? FURRIES?!!* KILL ME IF I DO.

*Attn people that want to be offended. You can like whatever you like. Heck, write a billion word fic on that topic if the mood strikes! *I* just don't like it.

Fic Post: Reality Works! Klaine, PG

So this happened. I'm as shocked as you. This is based on one of my kids having to do this same project. The dolls are uncanny (and a little creepy).

Author: me
Pairing: Klaine, mentions of Brittana
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up through 3.18, but not really
Summary: Blaine is excited for his school project so he can see what it's like to be a parent. And he's about to find out. [Set in S3.]
Warnings: Reality! Panic! Marlon Brando! Cat hair! Angst! And a serious amount of fluff.
A/N: So flaming_muse and I had lunch at the Museum of Natural History in NYC last year and talked about writing stories with kids as they really are and not idealized. And then this happened from an email this morning about our kids. I regret nothing. :D Title is from the tagline for RealLife dolls, and FM is fabulous for tucking my commas in and making me WRITE ALL THE WORDS.

( You are the proud temporary parent of a robot mandroid. )