I Stand Before You With Dry Balls, Your Honor.

[stoney321]

Oh, South Park. I love you. (I need to watch last night's ep again to try and figure out all the other imaginary cartoon creatures shown. I did see H.R. Puffinstuff at one point, which had me LOLing.

[ETA!] southernbangel is hosting a Love Meme where you can talk about people, things, your cat, delicious margaritas, whatever. Go, share some love and a smile. [/end PSA]

I also watched Hostel last night, and I know it came out a few years ago, but I'm always behind on movies. And while I found it a satisfying gore-fest, I did laugh at a few things. And then I spent all day writing this. Um... because I don't want to clean the house, what of it? Shamelessly stolen format, but you don't care about that, right? Right.



HOSTEL, in 15 Minutes (a.k.a: Pinocchio Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong)


Eli Roth: Getting my Takashi Miike on! *big ups*
Opening Credits: Whistle while you work! *whistles, kicks a hand*
Amsterdam: Glistens like a fairy tale!
Weird Jerry Garcia Dope Seller: You boys wanna get Krunked?
American Boys: Do we! *coughs* *high fives*
Earnest American: B-b-but I have asthma! *rethinks*
W.J.G.D.S.: Also, like how we went from a true shot of Amsterdam to an Americanized fantasy version that doesn't exist? Just keep smoking.

Shot of Random American Tourist: Pukes on hard Amsterdam pot!
American Boys: Truly our older frat brothers did not lie!
Icelandic Dude: Let's be friends and travel together!
American Boys: Okay! This is completely normal!

Three Dudes: Behaving badly!
Discotheque: Full of tourists and hot European women!
Hot Euro Babes: We inexplicably like these American tourists.
Tall Hot Russian: Let's, how you say... fuck?
Earnest American: No, it Wouldn't Be Right.
T.H.R.: *boggles*
Earnest American: I'll tell my mommy that you wanted to put your dirty pillows on me, and she will give you such a piiiinch! *runs away* *inhaler*

Red Light District: We really do look like this!
American Boys: *adjust ties, gulp*
Whores: Why don't you come on up and see me sometime?
Dark-haired American: I look like the poor man's Mario Lopez! Let's DO THIS.
Earnest American: Wh-wh-wh-whores? Um.. my mother said never to-
Poor Man's Mario: I paid for it! *claps on back* Get it on like Donkey Kong!
Whore: Look at my symmetrical breasts!
Earnest American: *runs away, possibly wets his pants*

Hostel (no, not that one!): We have a curfew
American Boys: The fuck you say?
Icelander: I will sing Italian opera now! Perhaps they will, how you say... let us in?
Hostel (same not that one one) Guests: No we won't and how's about a beer bottle to the head to shut you up!

Random Euro Villager: Psst!
Three Boys: We will Romeo to your Juliet! *climbs trellis*
Drugged Couple In Room: We are having the most unbelievable sex in a movie ever, watch!
Icelander: You betcha!
R.E.V: 'Sup. Check out my ginormous schnozz.
Audience: Sorry, can't help but stare at your FACE MOLE, good lord.

Moley Russell Wart: You boys wanna fuck?
American Boys: ...
Melanoma Mouth: Not me, hot chicks.
Boys: Do we!
Hairy Growth: In Slovakia, the chicks line up to bone douchebags, er, Americans like you. Tell 'em Wart-n-Nose sent ya.
Three Boys Behaving Badly: Clappy Hands!
Slovakian Tourist Bureau: Oi! We respectfully disagree.
Slovakian Prostitute Council: Psssh, we don't!

Earnest American: If I don't get nine hours of sleep a day, I get fussy. *snooze on the train*
Icelander: I shaved my butt and drew a face on it! I am, how you say... comical?
Audience: ...comical. And we were told there would be torture?
Bored Audience Member: And... *hands at screen*
Audience: Ahh. *settles in*

German Businessman: *sits* Hey. Look at my daughter.
Three Boys Behaving Badly: We feel awkward after just talking about pounding chicks.
German Businessman: You looking to pound chicks?
Earnest American: Please don't offer your daughter...

German Businessman: I am aware of this random Slovakian town of which you seek! You will get, how you say... drilled?
Three Boys Behaving Badly: ...drilled. And talking about sex with a stranger is perfectly normal!
German Businessman: People should use their hands more. Say, one of you looks weak. And that means... *hands on boy's leg*
Earnest American: WHOA. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Hey, whoa. Whoa. Seriously, whoa. Whoa. Just because I am weak and kind, that does NOT mean I like getting drilled. Whoa.
German Businessman: *cryptic* We'll see.
Orchestra: BUM BUM BUUUUUUM!
German Businessman: *hasty exit*

Hostel (finally!): I am idyllic!
Three Boys Behaving Badly: Wow. A Youth Hostel this clean? Our own rooms? Free???
Hostel: ... In a manner of speaking. Oh, you do have to share rooms.
Three Boys Behaving Badly: Okay, NOW you're crossed the-
Hot Euro Chicks Baring Their Boobs: Hey there, hot stuffs.
Three Boys Behaving Badly: -line. *GULP* We love Slovakia.

Brunette Hottie: I am naked. Let's meet in the spa for sexy times.
Blonde Hottie: I, too, am naked and very very tall. Spa? Sexy Times?
Three Boys Behaving Badly: *pulling shirts over their heads* Hot and wet, you say?
Hotties: Giggle! We are inexplicably attracted to you! We seriously could be models and you are all swarthy and short and douchey! Let's fuck!
Icelander: Look! I drew a face on my butt!
Hotties: We rest our case. Now for the spankings and oral sex!
Borat: Is nice!

Discotheque: Our patrons inexplicably wear the latest fashions and skinny jeans even though we are an impoverished country!
Slovakian Tourist Bureau: But charming!
Japanese Girls: Giggle!
Boys: Huh?
Japanese Girls: Tee Hee!
Boys: ...
Japanese Girls: Dammit, we are INTEGRAL. Quit looking at the Iron Curtain Babes and notice us!

Earnest American: This is too much, I haven't eaten any roughage, they are SMOKING in there, and some of those ladies will catch a chill in those revealing clothes!
Gang of Hooligans Under 12: Rawr!
Earnest American: Haha, aren't you fellas adorable.
Leader of the Pack: I want my two dollars!
Earnest American: You can't be serious. *tosses a dime*
Leader of the Pack: Didn't ask for a dime. Didn't ask for a dollar. TWO. DOLLARS.
Earnest American: GAAAH! *tosses half of wallet at the little sprites*


Meanwhile, back at the ranch club...


Hotties: Take this pill!
Boys: SURE. I mean, what could go wrong?
Dramatic Irony: American Tourists. Keeping me in business for decades.
Icelander: I am King of Swing! *exit*
American Boys: Can we get to the group sex?
Hotties: Sure! Don't mind our significant looks to each other...

Morning Dawn: Happens!
American Boys: Wha... wha? Comical relief Icelander?
Listhping Hosthtel Desthkman: No, he checked out at sthixth thisth morning.
American Boys: But he was comical! He drew faces on his butt!
Listhping Hosthtel Desthkman: *showsth ledger sthignature*
Japanese Girl That Looks Like Bjork: I have information! I told you I was integral.
Poor Man's Mario: Is that my friend and your friend on your picture phone that is a Razr™, who, incidentally, gave promotional support to this picture, or are you just glad to see me? They look odd. OH WELL. *whistles*

Museum of Torture: I am filler!
Foreshadow: No, you are me!
Obvious Person With Red Hood: LeapGrab! Ha ha.
Earnest America: *jumps out of skin* I could have had a heart attack, you guys. Or gotten a splinter! I am a very sensitive person and require gentle kid-gloves. *inhaler* When does Will & Grace come on?

Discotheque: More hot chicks with wanky American boys! It makes perfect sense!
American Boys: We are sad about our friend. But that won't stop us from getting some trim.
Hotties: Again, drugs and sex!
American Boys: Okee dokee!
Hotties: Have 15 shots while we watch - it's like the reverse of a frat party.
Earnest American: I hafta lie down, the room's all spinny.
Hotties: Significant look that could be nefarious or our bisexual lust, you decide!
Poor Man's Mario: I... dun pheel sew gud... *stagger* I go pee pee. *locks self in closet*

Earnest American: If I could only lie down, I'll feel better in the morning.
Film: *BLACK OUT*

Earnest American: Wha? Wha? I am handcuffed to a chair in a dank hole - was my credit card declined? I shoulda used Capital One...
Masked Someone: Whistle while you work...
Earnest American: I will pay you, lemme go, I'm getting chaffed and a stomach cramp, I didn't take my echinachea this morning, and if I don't eat every four hours, my hypoglycemia acts up and-
Masked Someone: REVEAL! It is I, the knee grabbing German Businessman, muah ah ah!
Earnest Someone: Whyfore you got all them shiny hurty things?
German Businessman: My torture devices: let me show you them.
Earnest American *emo kid is emo*

German Businessman: Remember me saying you could come here and get drilled? *Makita power drills to the thigh!*
Earnest American: But Honest John said we could have sex with freaky girls, and Lampwick's gone missing and-- *hee haaaaw!*
German Businessman: I drill your left shoulder, then I drill your right! Offer me money! Power, too, promise me that! *picks up scalpel*
Earnest American: Anything you want and more, please!
German Businessman: I want my father back, you son of a bitch!
Count Rugen: Hey! You don't even have six fingers!

Earnest American: GAH! It's not being shown, but you have sliced my Achilles!
Audience: THIS is what we came to see. What? Don't you go judging us!
German Businessman: Oh, hey. You can go. If you can WALK, muah ah ah.
Earnest American: I will attempt to crawl, forgetting that I could use my KNEES - but they get abrasions so easily, and I don't think they have any Bactine on hand and-
German Businessman: *grabs kid by hair*
Earnest American: Seriously, if I don't call my mother every three hours she'll worry, and I can pay you, no seriously! I am American and even though the dollar is valued less than the Euro-
German Businessman: Haha, stupid American! I don't want to be paid, for I am paying them! Auf Wiedersehen!

Poor Man's Mario: What the hell? I'm in a closet!
Listhping Hosthtel Desthkman: You checked out. Literally, asth well asth figuratively.
Poor Man's Mario: Uh... nuh uh.
Listhping Hosthtel Desthkman: Uh huh.
Poor Man's Mario: Nuh uh.
Listhping Hosthtel Desthkman: Uh huh, timesth sthixthty.
Poor Man's Mario: This is getting us nowhere. I need the Japanese Bjork.
Listhping Hosthtel Desthkman: She checked out.
Poor Man's Mario: Nuh uh!
Listhping Hosthtel Desthkman: Uh huh!
Poor Man's Mario: Okay, let's not do this. Where's my asthmatic, tender friend?
Listhping Hosthtel Desthkman: He checked out.
Poor Man's Mario: Oh, no he di'int!
Listhping Hosthtel Desthkman: Oh, yesth he did!
Poor Man's Mario: Are we seriously going to do this again?
Listhping Hosthtel Desthkman: We stheriosthly are. *givesth him back histh room key*

Poor Man's Mario: I am forlorn. A nap should do me some-HELLO!
New Hotties: Hi! We're naked, tee hee! How about drugs and sex, in that order?
Poor Man's Mario: De ja vu!
New Hotties: Spa?
Poor Man's Mario: I... I... *lightbulb!* Something is not right!
Miss Clavelle: Some-sing is quite wrong!
Audience: Took ya long enough...

Poor Man's Mario: I will use my Razr™ phone to track down my friend!
Ominous Smoking Tower: Belching smoke!
Poor Man's Mario: I'd give an arm and a leg to find my friends!
Dramatic Irony: *steeples fingers and waits*
Poor Man's Mario: Hmmmm. *checks Razr™ phone - yes, the badly photo-shopped picture is of Icelander and Japanese Girl in front of tower*
Orchestra: Bum bum BUUUUUUM!
Poor Man's Mario: I... never was able to do puzzles larger than 25 pieces. THIS IS TOO HARD FOR ME.
Gang of Hooligans: YOINK!
Poor Man's Mario: My Razr™! *beats up small child*
Movie Producers: Now where will our product placement come from?
Bubble Yum™: Ahem.

Creepy Iron Curtain Policeman: My face is trustworthy. Your friend is probably somewhere else.
Poor Man's Mario: Um... He's allergic to elsewheres.
C.I.C.P.: My sweaty pate and grey circles under my eyes should soothe you.
Poor Man's Mario: They don't.

Brunette Hottie: I am less hot without my expensive, and paid for, trappings
Random Villagers: Ominous and well cast!
Pub: Quaint. OR AM I?
Orchestra: Bum bum BUUUUUM!
Hotties: Oh, hi! *giggle*
Poor Man's Mario: Where my friend be?
Hotties: At art, how you say... exhibit?
Poor Man's Mario: ...exhibit. And he's allergic to art. Something about red dye #40 and gluten.
Hotties: Our bad deeds: let us show you them.

Brunette: *big bag of product placement* Gum?
Bubble Yum™: Cha-ching!
Large Warehouse: LOOMS.

Broken Window Panes? Check.
Black-clad European Males Standing About? Check.
Overtones of Post-War Poland? Double check.

Takashi Miike: Cameo!
Brunette Hottie: Remember how you American boys, how you say... objectified us?
Poor Man's Mario: Are you talking about how we used you for sex? Because that was for the both of us.
Brunette Hottie: Never mind. *giggle*

Poor Man's Mario: Dark, green-lit hallway? This is a terrible choice for art pieces!
Disembodied Voice: Whistle while you work! *vivisection a-go-go on Earnest American*
Poor Man's Mario: *coughvomit* He's allergic to non-surgical steel! And this is not a sterile environment!!
Brunette Hottie: *counting money* Bros before hos!
Euro Goons: Nab!
Poor Man's Mario: *dragged past torture rooms - with themes!* I don't think we're in Kansas anymore... Can I have the non-torture themed room? The one with the soft cushions? No? Damn.
Film: *BLACKOUT*

Poor Man's Mario: Blinded by my plight! Wrapped up in a noose, and handcuffed to a chair, no light!
Audience: Can... it stay dark for a bit? *bites nails*
Tension: How about I ratchet up a few notches...
Emeril Lagasse: BAM!
Tension: That's better.
Audience: No, seriously, let's leave the light off a bit. *more nail biting*
Poor Man's Mario: Breathing heavily! This is way worse than the hazing I got at Sigma Nu and the butt-cheek spreader, hogod...

Goon: *lights on!* Speak.
Poor Man's Mario: Uh..... huh?
Goon: *eyeroll* American.
Poor Man's Mario: No, no! I'm Canadian! I go roond and aboot the roof of the hoose! I'm soooooory!
German "Surgeon": Eeeeeeeexcellent. *garden fork to the American's thigh and belleh, wheee!*
Poor Man's Mario: *cries* This was not in "Let's Go! Slovakia!"

German Mr. Burns: Ich bin im Urlaub! Ich fühle mich schwach...
Poor Man's Mario: Sprechen Sie Deutsch and shattering the "stupid American" myth! Also, Können Sie mir eine Narkose geben? Ich habe Durchfall! Wo sind die Toiletten?
German Mr. Burns: *wavers* *flashes back to Pulp Fiction*
Goon: Bring out the gimp!
Poor Man's Mario: Ball gag'd!
German Burns: *chainsaw brrrrrap!* Don't need those fingers, eh?
Poor Man's Mario: I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE!
Ball Gag Translation: MMMMPH VOMIT MMMPHGRRRBLE! *removed*

Poor Man's Mario: Loosening up the bar holding my handcuff bit by bit! Heroes never quit! Quitters never win! Attica!!
German Burns: How about a taste auf mein saw to your naughty bits? *slip'd on blood!*
Chainsaw: Nom nom nom nom. Mmmm, tastes like streudel!
German Burns: Smithers! Assistance! The automatronatron is cutting me to ribbons!
Poor Man's Mario: Al...most...there.... *reaching for FINGERS, not sweet, sweet escape!*
Audience: WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE!
Poor Man's Mario: Al...most...there....
Audience: No, seriously. Is there some ice machine and bucket room we don't know about? Care flight? Dude, take the gun and GO.
Poor Man's Mario: Got 'em! *takes gun and puts on Manticore helmet, wtf?*
Goon: Monty? *shot'd!* *twice!*

Poor Man's Mario: I'll just hide in this room...
Dead Bodies: 'Sup! *flop*
Poor Man's Mario: I will have an ingenious plan of hiding under these bodies to escape! *takes off Manticore helmet*
Hunchback of Hostel Wame: If only that damned gypsy would have chosen me to love... *shovels body parts into incinerator
Large Ominous Tower: Belch.

Body Parts: Hijinks time! Falling off cart, creating tension for PMM's discovery, eventually being chopped to bits!
Poor Man's Mario: My fingers have fallen, and they can't burn up! *gropes*
Audience: NOT AGAIN. DUDE. SERIOUSLY.
Poor Man's Mario: Haha, got them! Also... brick to Igor's head ftw! *escapes*

Euro Goons Everywhere: Menace!
Locker Room: I am clean and offer a lengthy shower and change of clothes!
Poor Man's Mario: Done and done! *pulls glove over mangled hand, FORGETS FINGERS.*
Audience: See? We told you there were no ice machines, buckets, or care flights! Tchah!

Poor Man's Mario: What is this business card telling me everything I needed to know? Huh. At least Americans are worth the most money here.
Audience: UM. Missing the point, bro.
American Hunter: Barging in! WHOOOOOO!
Poor Man's Mario: Um...
American Hunter: WHOOOOOO! Hoooooo doggy! Gonna kill something, whooo!
Poor Man's Mario: Um... yay?
American Hunter: You're effin' right, yay! How awesome is it? Fucking awesome, amirite? WHOOOOO!
Poor Man's Mario: Um... wabbit season?
American Hunter: Yeah, no- WRONG. DUCK SEASON, mother fucker! WHOOOOO! *exits*

Poor Man's Mario: Time to get with my getting!
Audience: FINALLY. Jesus!
Jesus: I had nothing to do with this. God!
God: Yes, my son?
Jesus: Sorry, just... Go back to bingo, Dad. I got this.

Poor Man's Mario: I got my scarf jauntily tied? Suit straight? Hair jelled? I'm good to-
Japanese Bjork: Scream that miraculously can be heard all over the compound!
Poor Man's Mario: -go. But I'm an American Hero, so I can't go until I have Saved The Girl! *fucking goes back inside!*
Audience: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO US! What is wrong with you!?

J-Bjork: Screams!!
American Hunter: Whoo hoo!! *blow torches fer Amerka!*
Poor Man's Mario: WABBIT SEASON, BITCH! *blows the mutha fucka away with his OWN GUN, aw yeah*
J-Bjork: Wail! Cry! Hysterical screaming as he was using that torch to my FACE AND EYE!
Eyeball: Hanging on her cheek!
Poor Man's Mario: Here, I'll save you! *twitches* *cuts off eyeball with nail scissors*
J-Bjork: Ahhhhhhh!! *orange goo'd*

Euro Goon: Which way did he go?
Poor Man's Mario/J-Bjork: Fleeing!! With your car, bitchez!
Goons: D'oh!
Van: Parked in the middle of an alleyway, blocking you!
Poor Man's Mario: CAR HONK FOR GOD'S SAKE!!
Van: Slooooooooowly moving to reveal HOTTIES AND MOLEY RUSSELL WART, WTF!

Brunette Hottie: *looks up* Oh, shi--!
Car: BLAMMO! RUN OVER! BROKEN NECK MAKING! Menage a trois of death, euro trash!
Hotties: Dies! And are dead!
Growth McTumor Lip: Ditto!

Escape Car: Careening through narrow streets!
Gang of Hooligans: We are 8 and are menacing! No, really!
Poor Man's Mario: Bag of gum on my car seat... *lightbulb!*
Goons in Cars Chasing Them: What is this? A gang of hooligans that are 8, menacing and... chewing Bubble Yum™?
Bubble Yum™: Cha-Ching!* * Bubble Yum™ does not endorse hooliganism

Gang Leader: *pops bubble* That guy that looks like the dude from Dancing With The Stars, but with far better acting range, said you have my two dollars.
Goon: Huh. I didn't think you hooligans would have any lines--AUUUUUUGH!
Gang O'Hooligans: Beats like unwanted children! Smashes skulls like pumpkins! Re-enacting that Michael Jackson video with the car smashing, but with believability of violence!
Leader: *blows bubble within bubble* Cool, also, statement about violent societies begetting more violence.
Audience: That is... surprisingly deep for a gore-flick. Huh. Well done, sirs.

Poor Man's Mario: Come on, J-Bjork! Let us abandon the car and take the train, the one surrounded by dirty cops and goons!
J-Bjork: Zombie walk of sorrow at ugliness. No one will notice my melted face on this crowded platform...
Dirty Cops: We are in on EVERYTHING! Slovakia cannot be trusted, muah ah ah!
Slovakia Tourist Bureau: We respectfully disagree, you fucking Americans!

J-Bjork: *sees reflection* Nope, mine is a culture - apparently - that values looks above all else. Or something. *leaps onto train tracks in front of oncoming train!*
Train: Ever wonder what happens to copper pennies on train tracks? Make that a body and you've got the right idea KERSMASHBLOOD.
Poor Man's Mario: Nooooooooooo! Oh, well. *boards train*

German Businessman: Say, I'm repeating a line from earlier about hands from before.
Poor Man's Mario: Oh. No. He. DI'INT. *plots*
German Businessman: *exits train* Time to make tinkle!
Poor Man's Mario: IN HELL. *locks bathroom door*

German Businessman: I cannot go potty unless I imagine Poppa loving me... *strains*
Poor Man's Mario: Say, can you pass me a square of t-p? Oh, and CUTS OFF FINGERS, MAFUCKER!
German Businessman: No, Poppa! I mean, young American!
Poor Man's Mario: How about a taste of some Schweinshaxe mit Blaukraut und Bludwurst? Mother fucker? *toilet swirlies*
German Businessman: Look at the blood! It makes flowers...
Poor Man's Mario: Flowers... in hell! Hey, ever had a Columbian Necktie? *cuts*
German Businessman: Come Uppance'd! *dies*

Poor Man's Mario: *deep, shaky breath* And now... back to LAW SCHOOL. *straightens tie*

*END*

Comments

[lolz.livejournal.com]

Wasn't South Park hilarious last night?
I had the same idea. I want to watch it again in slow motion to see who I missed. I noticed HR, too!
Can't wait! <3Trilogies!

[globalfruitbat.livejournal.com]

AUGHHH!!! ACHILLES TENDON OMG!!!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I KNOW!! I told my sister on the phone earlier that that scene was the only one that made me queasy. Because I've torn mine before and was all *cringe* and *rolling tummy'd*

Meep!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, I laughed so hard at all the creatures being killed, and the Saving Private Ryan moment, heee!

Which Care Bear got his head cut off? HAHAHAHA. Ronald McDonald walking around without his arm, HA HA HA!

[darlas-mom.livejournal.com]

HE CUT OFF HER EYEBALL WITH NAIL SCISSORS?!

[lolz.livejournal.com]

It was the blue Care Bear, hah!
Me and my boyfriend kept going "Imagiiinaaattion, Iiiimmaaaginaation" over and over, haha!!
I can't WAIT for next weeks!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HE WAS HELPING HER, ZOMG.

...she quit screaming afterwards, so I guess it felt better?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

But didn't they all have names? Like, Hugs A Lot, etc? Hahahaha!

hogod, that Imagination song that went on and on and on.... *cracks up*

[lolz.livejournal.com]

Yah they did, I just can't remember!

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure whether these tears are from laughter or fear.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA. Possibly both! Possibly both.

Possibly.

Possibly both.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa, there, whoa. Whoa. Possibly.

[darlas-mom.livejournal.com]

I have an eyeball thing...I FREAKED OUT when the guy stabbed himself in the eye in "Dead End." That was just...gah! ::shudders::

[dovil.livejournal.com]

I've never watched it and now I never have to. \o/ I can pretty much guarantee that your take on it was the better version.

Okay! This is completely normal!

People should be made to say that repeatedly in all B-grade movies, hahaha!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Yeah - given your feelings on gory movies, it would be best if you didn't even look at the DVD case.

Other things that should be in every scary movie: what's that noise? LET'S GO CLOSER AND FIND OUT.

Oh wait. That's already in every scary movie!

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the Hostel write-up. Sounds like a great popcorn flick. Mmm, yum.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I have an iron-clad stomach, so I was able to eat sausage pizza while the movie was playing, but my husband couldn't finish eating. (And didn't eat afterwards, either.)

So... I'll leave it up to you whether or not it's a literal translation or a figurative one. *g*

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Heeee! That was a much fun as the movie! And guess what - the sequel is even worse! This time the idiot American tourists are female, but then so are the paying clients so it all works out fine. *g* Oh, and it also stars the guy who played Viktor Krumm in the Harry Potter movie Goblet of Fire.

I was rooting for the killers almost from the beginning, but then I have to work in close contact with (sometimes American) tourists all summer, so it was probably transference or wish fulfilment or something. *g*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*claps hands* Hahaha, I'm glad you read this! And I've been debating on watching the sequel... Hmmm.

(Oh, sure. Some American Tourists live up to the stereotype. I used to work in the park services here, and always had bizarre Germans in high heels wanting to go hiking with their ski poles. In.... high heels. *g*)