stoney321 | And the funny just keeps on coming... (Reply)

Ah, gentle readers, will the laughing never end? I hope not. My most favoritest writer in all the land has given me more. And can I say right now that I jumped up from my desk and pointed at the screen and cackled? Let that be fair warning,

winterlive.

kumiko1: this laugh is for you, hun. Feel better.

"He blessed her with his cock." In nomine patre y sante y bonita pee pee.

"Sex with Spike was indescibably intense, erotic, and dangerous. " It was also indescribably hot and lust-filled and sweaty. And indescribably smelly and soup-making and indescribably descriptive.

"His cock was her own personal vibrator and she loved her vibrator." Don't you get a vibrator because you don't have a man? Or your man doesn't know what he is doing? Huh. Still trying to figure out all the vibrator reference when she is talking about Spike.

"Buffy wondered if there was such a thing as too much sex. {no} She knew she had fucked Spike at least a hundred times. Not satisfied with that number she decided to do the math. They have been fucking for about three months. She visited him four times a week, excluding Friday, Saturday and Sunday, which was reserved for Riley, and they averaged three times a day. By her calculations, they have had sex 624 times, which convinced Buffy she was a nymphomaniac." Whew. I can't begin to tell you how wrong this is. Point 1: pick a fucking verb tense. Point 2: Buffy is a dumb slut. Wait! The author is. Obviously she failed word problems in school. I, however, did not. Lemme 'splain: 3x daily, 4 days a week is 3 x 4 = 12. For three months, averaged to 12 weeks: 12x a week by 12 weeks is 12 x 12 = 144. Granted, she is still needing to buy Gatorade_TM by the gross, but 624?? I have no idea how she got to that. Maybe if they were doing it 13x... 13 x 4 x 12 = 624. Okay. 13 times a day is serious nympho-zone. (Right into... the nympho-zone! You'll never watch TopGun in the same way...) AND MATH IS HAWT!!!

"'Ride me Slaahhhh!' The way he said Slayer made Buffy hot." I swear to god, I cut and pasted that. Because drooling no-bottom-jaw having sex partners would get ANYONE hot. Is he being choked? The story IS called Strangled Passions...

"His cock wept with need." EWWW. When is that EVER sexy? Oh, right. Never!

"She...let the insides of her meaty lips work his dick." That makes me feel all girly and thin. And that my name is Al and I drive an 18 wheeler.

"His hands felt like a silk scarf around her neck." Which was odd because the silk scarf around her neck felt like his hands...

"She felt her orgasm approaching as her muscles snapped at his dick like a pissed off aligator."

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! I swear to god, you couldn't make this shit up. Pissed off aligator. Crikey! She's mad now! Idn't she byoo 'efull? GORGEOUS.