Wait, whut?

[stoney321]

I have comments that I still need to respond to, I know, but I just realized something based on this icon. *points*

I will not read the Twilight books. Understand that. Well, maybe to mock them. (Um, I went to college with plenty of Stephanie Meyers types up in Utah and don't care to fall back into that Mormon woman 1950s bullshit.)

...is Edward gay? I mean, is the Mary Sue ultimately a "f*g hag" but TURNS HER GAY BFF INTO HER LOVAH? (Um, and also sounds a lot like many LDS girls who had effeminate husbands and never realized they married a gay man that was afraid to come out in that culture.)

Wow. My son wants to read them. *head desk* (And I would be perfectly fine if he was gay. I just don't want him to be stupid, that's all. Hahaha. Ahem.)

[ETA] WHAT? (from Cleolinda's summation) "Vampires tend to bring their strengths from life into The Beyond" THIS IS MORMON DOGMA. (You bring your personality into the next life. And have babies there, too. Just like vampires? WHUT.)

[ETA muthaeffin 2] OH MY GOD, there are Native American Indians who are the darkness to their whiteness?!?!?!?!?! GUYS. GUYS. You are shitting me. She is rewriting the Book of Mormon with love stories and supernatural attributes, HO LEE SHEEP DUNG. (Nephites = Vampires, Lamanites = Werewolves) Good hell.

[ETA frakkin 3] That's it. I'm reading them. The MSTKing (from an LDS perspective) will follow. Guys, she's fanficcing the Book of Mormon!! (Which is funny because the Book of Mormon is Bible fanfic, haha. so... this is a remix? We need new words to describe this!!!)

Comments

[samsom.livejournal.com]

When I read that S Meyer was Mormon, everything I'd heard about Twilight and Bella and Edward made perfect sense.

I just can't believe this is The Next Big Thing. *sigh*

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

I think cleolinda(?) has read them and has done some reasonably complete (and rather funny) summaries of them. I gather that Edward is a tad effeminate (non-threatening sexuality, check) but that he's also a bit of a douchebag.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Yeah - I knew that before I heard anyone talk about the books, so as I learned the plot/characters, I just rolled my eyes. OF COURSE. Gag.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I'm just now finding thsoe, thanks!

Yeah, I heard he's douchey, but then, so is almost EVERY SINGLE GUY in the state of Utah. A bunch of puffed up poppinjays, sure of their superiority. No thanks.

BTW, your icon is PRICELESS. And true.

[tabaqui]

I read the summaries somewhere online... Dear gods. The most ridiculous Mary-sue-licious, bad!fic shite i have *ever* read. And also, ideas and even plot points that seem lifted right out of stuff i've read before, like Anne Rice and Tanith Lee.

The Monstrous wants to read them, as her cousin has and liked them. I said she could *borrow* the first book from her cousin, as i'm not paying money for it. I hope she hates it, heh.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

God, I know! They're HORRID. The ideas, the plot lines, the freaking execution of said plot lines...

They honestly read like supernatural versions of the "faith building novels" I had to read growing up Mormon. Ick.

Yeah, no money in my house will be spent on these, that's for sure.

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

STONEY. I KNOW THEY'RE AWFUL BUT I CAN'T STOP READING THEM. Seriously, the plot is atrocious, the characters are all reprehensible, the writing is ridiculous. And yet. My mother keeps loaning them to me and I keep reading them. They are like CRACK.

However, I really wouldn't want any teenage girls, especially, to read them, and think that these are relationships people should want.

[bitchygrrl.livejournal.com]

Oh she's Mormon that explains a lot. I've read the books but I'm in it for the *LOLZ*.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

One of my closest girlfriends is reading them, too, shocked that she is reading them, and thinks they're crack. Is it like a box of mediocre chocolates that you keep eating even though you know they're not good? *holds you*

Your last line: YES. I do NOT want my daughters reading them. And, hey. I don't want my SON to read them and think it's okay to treat girls that way. Seriously, they sound exactly like life in Utah, I'm not even exaggerating.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I may have to read them and explain all the dogma in it. Humorously, of course.

JESUS. They can't be what I'm reading they are. OH MY GOD.

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

Is it like a box of mediocre chocolates that you keep eating even though you know they're not good?

Yes! Yes. *sniffles* I feel better not having to hide it anymore.

And, yeah, I wouldn't want my son to read them either. Children are too impressionable to be reading this!

[elfgirl.livejournal.com]

*SNERK*

Sparkles: Just for the Speshul Vampires

[bitchygrrl.livejournal.com]

They can't be what I'm reading they are. OH MY GOD.
*does best Bette Davis* But they are Stoney! They are!
Seriously remember Sweet Valley High books. like that but worse oe better, I'm not sure. I have fun with them but even at 14 I would have called bullshit on this whole Bella/Edward thing.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetheart. It's okay. See, I know that you have it in you to be smart and thinking and FABULOUS. We all eat those crappy Werthers when there's nothing better around. But eventually you will have Godiva and you will come back to me! *pines* Ahahaha.

I've just added some ETAs after finding out more. T, this is the Book of Mormon with monsters!!! Oh, and sparkles.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Okay, the Sweet Valley high books at least weren't this bad. (Elizabeth was smart and her boyfriend didn't define her worth, at least.)

GAH!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

He freaking SPARKLES. I mean... that's in the bad!fic crap I read to make us all laugh and this woman is getting PAID. Wow.

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

I've been dying to know your Twilight thoughts given your history with mindcandy teenage novels and SMeyer's religion.

[bitchygrrl.livejournal.com]

Hon, I was working in a Borders last year and ths not even the worst thing that they have for girls to read. *is sad*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE TO READ THEM NOW. I mean... I have to!

Wooooooooooooooooooow. It's-

WOW. See ETA 2. *pounds head*

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

*sings that one song from American Tail that Linda Ronstadt sang*

Now I kind of do want you to read them so you can make a point-by-point comparison but I also want to save you from the aggravation of wanting to smack every single character in the book you're reading. Decisions, decisions.

(The werewolves are SO OFFENSIVE, L, and she doesn't get it AT ALL, you can tell.)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

(I KNOW. I have strict rules on reading material for #2. We're holding out on all those "Clique" novels etc. as long as we can. Gag)

[bitchygrrl.livejournal.com]

True Liz was smart, and had a spine.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

(Oh, I love Linda.)

Dude, I have decided. I AM READING THEM. I have to!! If they're this bad (that I'm thinking they are) they can't be any worse than the bad!fic I mock, so I will suck it up and plunge in. I MUST! *girds up loins*

(WOW!! I- I actually have no words!)

[tabaqui]

It makes me sound like a paranoid freak, but i picture Church Elders sitting around in some little room, rubbing their hands gleefully because 'the word!' is being spread. Or something.

*gag*

[ann1962]

Is this icon available for swiping? Because it is absolutely awesome.