It's *STILL* raining here

[stoney321]

Alright, six days is my limit. (I don't know how y'all live in the PacWest, I really don't.)

• 0hmyheck has a new post about what it's like on the mission, their rules, etc.


• I know some of you want to write about LDS missionaries, so there's some info to get you started. It's a pretty daunting dask, imo, because it's such an inclusive lifestyle with so much that you have to know about the church to make it sound real


• my daughter, #2, is bursting into tears about EVERYTHING and I want to strangle her. Ah, hormones.


• I literally threw my Kindle across my bed yesterday when I read the last bit of the third Sparkle-Twilight book. Holy crappy forced conflict. Next week is completely dedicated to mocking the Twilight books. Those of you who love them? YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. (And seriously, if I'm upsetting you with that, you can defriend me with no harm done. I will never be on board with those things, and boggle at the readership of them. BOGGLE.)


• School starts in five days. There are margaritas and fajita nachos waiting for me on that glorious day like a GOLDEN CHALICE IN THE SKY. Or deliciousness on a table, whichever.

Comments

[turnonmyheels.livejournal.com]

So what you're saying is, I shouldn't feel left out that I haven't read those horrible books? Or that I *will* feel left out when you start mocking and I can't mock along with you?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, I will clue you in on what is mockable, just as always. I will spare you the effort of slogging through them! God, B, they are so crappy, and they just get steadily worse.

[elisi]

Next week is completely dedicated to mocking the Twilight books.
I can't wait! :)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA to your icon!!! That's so awesome!

[elisi]

It's by literatewriter if you want to snag. :)

I almost went for the 'save the planet - recycle Twilight', but... *adores Buffy* Someone should write crossovers! (I'm currently trying to image what Spike would make of Edward...) Oh! *remembers* - there is this ficlet! It's *perfect*! :)

ETA: Oh - it does contain spoilers for 'Breaking Dawn'! Presuming you care?

twilight basherama

[solipsiae.livejournal.com]

I can't WAIT.

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

I am afraid once I read the torrential mocking I will not be able to resist reading the awfulness...

Oh, I feel for you and #2 daughter.

Re: twilight basherama

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HI BB. It will be SO CATHARTIC for me, oh my god.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You might have to read them. I've got them in .pdf if you want. (I'll post the links during the mocking.)

Oh my GOD she's so weepy and screamy ALL THE TIME NOW, stupid pre-teens!!!

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

I'm not utterly thrilled with the rain here, myself- although we had had less than a half inch since the end of May so the first bit was sorely needed. CRAPPY summer for vegetable gardening, either low 60s or upper 80s- 90s: the beans are yet to bloom!

Julia, hard to get motivated on a 58F rainy August morning, no doubt.

[fujinsama.livejournal.com]

Stoney: Reading bad books so we don't have to. <3!

[jerusha]

I AM BOUNCING IN MY CHAIR IN GLEE! (That required all caps, yes.) Know why? Because you are going to mock the Twilight books. That alone means that the paper they are printed on wasn't totally wasted.

Mockity, mockity, mock, mock, mock. Thank goodness you aren't squeamish about that sort of thing.

[demonqueen666.livejournal.com]

I for one, can NOT wait for the Twilight mocking. *glee*

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

*pours water out of sandal* I hear you. Where the foo did this stuff come from? And why is it staying for another week? I'm gonna' write a letter.

How old is #2? My almost-ten is starting to get emo about things that would never have ruffled her feathers before, and I'm wondering if we're about to hop on the big hormonal wheel o' fun. *sigh* So not ready for this.

So, does the crappiness of the books make them worth reading? Are they so-bad-it's-good or it's-baaad-just-cruise-on-by? The more I read about them, the more my morbid curiosity grows.

FIVE DAYS, BAY-BEE! Nachos and blessed silence will be yours.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

We've got the potential for no more wet in three days. This is CRAZY!

#2 is 11 and change. It started a year ago, but only for short blasts. Now it seems like she freaks out over everything ALL THE TIME. *glass drops, shattering* I can't do anything right!!!! Etc. repeat.

She may die by my hand.

You know, I don't know how to answer that about Sparkledammerung. For me, I *had* to read them so i could fully understand her broken, sad brain. But... they're so lazy and forced and borrowed and bleh!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I'm getting my notes organized tonight. Be prepared for crappy photoshopping!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

And hahaha, I have e-versions, so no trees were killed in the making of this post, wheeeeee!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

If I was a superhero, THAT would be my power.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Yep, no rain for ever for us, +100 degrees for days on end, then wham, rain. It's nice, but after almost a week, I'm ready for the sun to come back out.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

*pulls up lawn chair*

*pours myself a single malt Scotch*

I have never read the "Twilight" books. I will never read the "Twilight" books, but a fucking love the reviews that rip the shit out of 'em. It's like eating really, really, really good Belgian chocholate.

And Mormon missionary gay porn, hmmmmm? *strokes chin*

Y'know, I saw two forlorn-lookin' Mormon "elders" (spotable by their white shirts, black ties and pants, and huuuuuge name tags) watchin' the skimpily-dressed local heathens kayaking their asses up and down the Charles River over the weekend. (The boys looked hot, and I mean that temperature-wise and not look-wise.)

I now will be thinking dirty-dirty thoughts about them....after I read your pr0n. Which I will. After Project Runway tonight.

*daydreams happily until then*

[dusty273.livejournal.com]

my daughter, #2, is bursting into tears about EVERYTHING and I want to strangle her. Ah, hormones.

Awwwww, mine are a bit moody but still tolerable. Not looking forward to them getting their periods though. *shudders*

Next week is completely dedicated to mocking the Twilight books.

Squeeeeeee! Can't wait to read!

And I hope those 5 days go by quickly for you!

*besos*

[fujinsama.livejournal.com]

Pft. All you need is a funny costume.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*clinks glass of scotch with yours*

you do not need to subject yourself to these books. It's my job, unpaid though it may be, to examine the crap in this world and share it in a humorous manner with you. Because I'm selfless, or some shit like that. :D

I have to say, all joking aside, the missionary story is making me very happy. I'm getting out a lot of issues I've had with the church via my protag. :D

If you just want to see what the boys look like (they're based on Actual Real Life Missionaries) I've linked pictures at the top of the fic post.

You know. Just... for research purposes. Ha!

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE HOLDING BACK ON ME WOMAN! I WANT THESE TWILIGHT REVIEWS NOW, DAMN IT!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh, Mari, I'm waiting for her period to start here. It should be any time now. I am not old enough for this!!! *clings to you*

I think celebrating my freedom with some wacky commentary sounds about right, huh? :D

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

Eeesh. *battens hatches* Wait. *puts kid outside and battens hatches* There. I'm alll ready for it.

May I offer a soothing mantra? How about fivefuckingdaystoschool/fivefuckingdaystoschool/fivefuckingdaystoschool or perhaps the simpler, less tongue-twisting margaritaommmargaritaommm. *deep breath* I'm feeling very pure now.

Thanks. Maybe I'll just settle for teasing my little sister about reading them. ;)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Mine is an evil laugh!!

Oh my god, they are DETAILED. They will have pictures and charts!! I can't just whip that out in a day. THEY WILL COME. Like a sparkly vampire's zirconia cock after holding in his chunder for 100 years.

THEY WILL COME LIKE THAT.

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

YOU BETTER NOT BE LYING TO ME, WOMAN!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

WOMAN I AM NOT LYING WOMAN.

IT WILL COME. (If you build it...)

[ruthless1.livejournal.com]

I will never be on board with those things, and boggle at the readership of them. BOGGLE.)

*whispers*
psssst.stoney?
*looks around furtively*
You do know that you live in a country that elected Dubya? Twice? I think that explains the meyer books.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Just finished chapter 2. What a harsh, unfeeling family to have grown up in.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*HUGS YOU!* It's going to get worse before it gets better...

*zips lip*

[leila82.livejournal.com]

I'm loving the rain - mostly because it's not 105 degrees outside anymore. YAY! Also, I'm technically from Houston, so all those sunny days were weirding me out.

Props for getting that far through Twilight! I gave up after skimming the second - just read cleolinda's reviews for the third and fourth. Sparkly vampires couldn't keep me going through all the awful plot.

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

I find it amusing to read the anger at these Twilight books. Probably more then I would reading the actual book. I should be happy they haven't be translated, right? ;-)