But when Snoop raps about his love of weed, I think about French Post-Impressionism. o_0

[stoney321]

Happy about:

1. high waisted jeans coming back into style! No more muffin tops, no more looking at your coin slot when you bend over, no more hiking up an ill-fitting waist band. (Hey, "designers." We get it. You secretly hate women, I've known this for years. But guess what? Women's bodies, for the most part, go out at the hip part, then go in at the waist part. Sometimes as much as 10 inches in some cases. And when you make waist bands on low rise jeans that are a straight line and the same diameter as the hip portion, they buckle in the back and people can see butt cracks, and guess who wants to see that? Not me.) If properly tailored trousers were good enough for Katharine Hepburn, they're good enough for me. YAY FLATTERING FOR MY BODY. Hepburn, Lauren Hutton and Ali McGraw are my style icons, what can I say? I'm a camel Birkin bag away from being a parody of myself. (omg, I want a camel Birkin bag. And I don't "want" purses.)

I'm not hot on an elephant/wide leg, but a straight leg with a waist that hits my waist? Yes, please. (I don't care if you don't like them. I've had to put up with low-rise for years, and the horrendous skinny jeans that two people out of 1000 look good in. Suck it.) Let's just hope that the stirrup pants I've been seeing will quietly slip away, because damn. No me gusta. Not even back in '85.

2. The awesome episode of SouthLAnd last night on TNT. Are you watching? Why the hell not? You need to be, it's amazingly done - actors, writing, cinematography, all are outstanding.

3. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Guys. Remember how I loved the one from Jersey? And that's pretty much the only one I could tolerate? NO. BEVERLY HILLS. It's everything that show should have been all along. Extravagant lifestyles, detached from reality, amazingly bitchy women (Camille Grammer.) Seriously, this show is uh-may-zing. My HUSBAND even watches it with me. What does that tell you? I read the most amazing review (that made me jealous for their writing skills) and recorded the whole series to be watched over the break. WOOOOOOW. If anything, you have to watch the dinner party with Alison DuBois, the craziest narcissist that ever narcississed. (My older sister claims a real life friendship with her. Trust me, the woman is KRAZY. Like, she goes around claiming to be the "reason for the Amber Alert." UM, NO. THAT WOULD BE THE CHILD HERE IN TEXAS NAMED AMBER. You self-centered, wrong wrong WRONG bitch.) Sometimes you just need to feel superior to people with more money than sense, you know?

4. A day of filming, whoo! This is the project I've been working on for a while, the director is fairly well known in some circles, and his "buddy" producing this movie is Robert Evans. Oh please, oh please, oh please let this work out. Or I'd just like to hear him tell me that the kid stays in the picture. :) I'll be working on this for the next few weeks, so that's very exciting. The script has gone through a major overhaul (as they do) and I'm no longer the lead. Boo. Chalk it up to the friendship my buddy and the director have forged over the past two months. I'm glad for my friend, though, he's incredibly talented.

Not happy about:

1. Hipsters getting their American Apparel in my Hip Hop. I've had to drop two music sites from my feed because of these Indie dudes that have all of a sudden discovered Hip Hop (wow.) and think they know what they're talking about and write about it like some douchebags that grew up on Laurie Anderson and Phillip Glass with some Sufjan Stevens and Sigur Ros for party time and try to talk about Mos Def being a "sensitive poet" with beats that "hit the ears like waves crashing on shore." SHUT UP, NERD.

I want to give those guys a purple nurple when I read stuff like that. I mean, yeah, I'm a white girl, but I'm a white girl that grew up on funk, Motown, and the BIRTH of hip hop, and would just really love for the Furious Five to backhand these dillweeds. They were rapping about busting their sacroiliac back before you were a regret in your father's eye, yo. Gah. And saying that Dre "mockingly" talks about his grandiose lifestyle... WHAT. Yes it's hilarious when Warren G talks about bitches at his side and bitches at his back, but he's not being SARCASTIC, fool. Get your irony out of my struggle for the climb up the white man's ladder, Dahveed. (lol.)

"But when Fitty - I believe we should pronounce his name in the manner he's chosen - when Fitty talks about forcing a woman to perform fellatio on him after a concert, it's not unlike Captain Blicero and his forced sex slave Gottfried launching themselves into the unknown, space." Uh, pretty sure Fitty Pence didn't read Gravity's Rainbow. Because NO ONE READ GRAVITY'S RAINBOW. (Clarification, I made this quote up. The others are real, though.)

Comments

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait. It that a REAL DIRECT QUOTE??????

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Not the Fitty one, I made that up. :D But the others, as in Mos Def being a "sensitive poet" and how Dre mockingly discusses his materialism? YEAH. Actual shit.

[minstrel666.livejournal.com]

Oh shit I went to Dubois High, I am now obligated to watch that show. Damn you, Stoney! *shake fist*

Umm... I also like... 2Pac? Does he count as hip hop? Rapping is supposed to be part of the culture, right?

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

Well, you did a good job because I bought it. I thought the Fitty thing was real.

What blogs were these?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

It is astounding, the show.

TuPac Shakur? Yeah, that's rap. Sometimes I don't know if you're puling my leg or being earnest or joking or what, I have to say.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

And see, my waist/hips/ass are all pretty much a straight line -- I don't really HAVE hips -- and I STILL hate low waisted jeans because they are constantly falling down.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha. Yay me, being able to affectively mock the Hipster crowd.

Lessee, one was PMA - pretty much amazing - and Pitchfork. Fuck them bitches. There was an amazing photo on "Look At This Fucking Hipster" that still rocks my world: bearded (duh) dude with an American Flag shirt, a PBR (natch) and big rapist glasses (the safety bar gold kinds?) It said, "I don't know if I'm ironic with my love of America, or what anymore. What am I supposed to believe?"

LOL.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You and my BFF with your boyish hips that everything hangs from! She has the same problem with lady jeans, so she buys boys jeans and they work like a champ for her.

I decidedly do NOT have that problem!

Ugh, low rise, esp. ULTRA low rise. Good lord, those are just horrid.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

(and to anyone that loves those sites, more power to you. They're just not for me. I love hip hop unironically, have for almost 30 years.)

[elizardbits.livejournal.com]

high waisted jeans coming back into style!

NOT ON MY WATCH, MISSY. ugh, mom jeans. JUST SAY NO, AMERICA.


The main problem with rap music is that Ice Cube now has a sitcom and Dr. Dre is making commercials for Best Buy and Snoop Dogg is an available voice for GPS systems. And Eazy is rolling over is his grave.


also just for the lulz, at the low point of my epic PMS last week I was simultaneously outraged and depressed that 14 years have passed and Tupac's murder remains unsolved. yeah, idefk.

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

SouthLAnd!!! it is waiting on my Tivo right now. We had to rock last night. Why is the mister such a hard taskmaster?

Oh, no, now I have to watch a version of Housewives?? Beverly Hills is a fascinating petrie dish, though.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

JEANS/PANTS, I'm good with both! As long as they don't have pleats. THAT and the addition of elastic are what make MOM JEANS. Look, I'm sick of feeling like my pants are sliding off my ass constantly. I GUESS WE KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE, LIZ. Nudity. I was inferring nudity.

Oy, Ice Cube! Duuuuuuuuuude. He has freakin' FALLEN FROM GRACE. How do you go from NWA to "Driving My Grandma With Kids on A Trip" movies, or whatever the hell? I wanna fuck you, Easy. "I wanna fuck you, too." RIP. DAMN. Dead Prez is still the balls, and man, I've been listening to some good stuff lately. But I take your point. Sell outs have come to the genre.

LOL, it's still irritating to me that Puff Daddy is thought of as a rapper! Hey, sticking the Junior Mafia on all of your tracks doesn't make you awesome, bro, you're just a good businessman.

[roonilwazlib6.livejournal.com]

SOUTHLAND. <3 Can I tell you how ecstatic I was when one of the opening shots was Michael Cudlitz in his underwear? SEXY.

[bitchygrrl.livejournal.com]

Yes to everything you said. The jeans thing especially now if the will make them in a manner that fit my tiny waist, and black woman ass it will be all good. I anxiously await Coco's line of jeans, because she seems like she gets the ass to waist ratio issue. LOL

OMG Just reading your description of theose assholes discussing hip-hop makes me want to put a cap in their ass, yo. Hip-hop they do not understand the politics. Ugh.

[ryokomusouka.livejournal.com]

Jeans/pants that reach my waist, YES PLEASE. I adore stretchy pants (yoga pants rock), but I wish to HELL they wouldn't shrivel to high flood stage when I wash them. Straight leg, bootcut, whatever ya wanna call 'em. Bag the bells, PLEASE, and skinny jeans, DIAF. I Boggle at what the girls wear to SCHOOL when I pick my girls up every day.

I have no opinion on hip hop beyond "it's noise to me".

[errant-jane.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna have to second Liz's protest. I'm high waisted and hippy. High waisted jeans are both awful-looking on me and completely uncomfortable and the pockets seem to be placed in a manner to make my ass look as huge as possible. DNW!! I'm not a fan of ultra low-rise, but I'm very happy with mid-rise jeans.

I am totally ready for skinny jeans/leggings to be over, though. So much more than I want to see on a daily basis...

[bienegold.livejournal.com]

I don't care if high-waisted jeans come back as long as some low rises still exist. I am ridiculously short-waisted and anything that isn't explicity low rise is Urkle-pants.

[captainofidiots.livejournal.com]

I like the low waisted jeans, because they actually fit me! Though, I do hate looking at everyone else where them, so there's that. I have no hips to speak of and am apparently too short to wear boy pants. Pants that have a higher waist look horrid on me. I so wish I had curves. Wah.

Anyway... The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is amazing in that "I can't believe they just said that" kind of way. Definitely my favorite one.

Are you watching Top Chef: All Stars?

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think you can suss my opinions on Pitchfork. FFS!

lololol on that caption!

[minstrel666.livejournal.com]

All I know about hip hop is what I picked up from the Boondocks cartoon. I am functionally ill-literate.

[veracity]

RHoBH and I are in love. Seriously. Allison needs a shot of "shut the hell up" and a finishing school session, along with Patti the Mismatch Maker. And it's funny how Camille managed to make Danielle look saner in comparison. That's some skills there.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

I am ok with any pants that actually fit me. (short, stumpy legs and a fairly short rise)

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

I KNOW WHEN YOU WILL DIE AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT MYSELF. KNOW THAT.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

NOOOOOOOOOOO not high waisted!! Lemme explain: I have a VERY short torso, and very long legs. Highwaisted come up under my boobs, low waisted hit…my waist. What of it I have. While I'm round, (but losing weight), I never have much of an indented waist.

*sigh*

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

WHYYYYYY does it have to be flares? Not two hours ago I was lamenting the lack of straight leg stovepipe jeans with a more natural waist to my friend mhaille! Real Levis, please, not with the modern dark wash but true unfaded indigo. Oh, and I'd like legs as long as Joey Ramone's to go with them, while I'm asking.

But it would in fact be very nice to have jeans that DIDN'T always need a belt not to slide off my ass.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

OMG, the hip hop talk is so ridiculous!!! There was a review of Talib Kweli's new projects (which is the shit, if you've not heard his Community mix Tape) where they were calling him a "thoughtful rapper" and someone left a comment that was something along the lines of, "Thoughtful rapper? Who talks like that? You clearly know shit about rap." LOL.

I mean, yeah, the guy isn't Gangsta, but he's not rapping Keats, either.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Yes, you do have to watch a new version. I'm telling you, this is the best of all of them, THE BEST, JERRY, THE BEST.

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

(I don't care if you don't like them. I've had to put up with low-rise for years, and the horrendous skinny jeans that two people out of 1000 look good in. Suck it.)

Amen. Sing it. Sing it loud and proud and I will lead the six voice (bass, tenor, alto, soprano, countertenor and children) backup choir singing my own arrangement, because this cannot be emphasized enough.