Am I Being Unreasonable?

[stoney321]

Here's how picky I am when it comes to fanfic (or any story, really.) I'm reading along, it's pretty good, not amazing, but good. Nice pacing, characters are spot on, dialog is snappy, then one of the guys (Blaine Anderson, specifically, a 17 year old guy for anyone else who doesn't recognize that name) calls his mother MOMMY.

I ask you. Mommy? I don't like it when my own kids call me mommy, because they're teens. I hate infantilization of language for anyone that isn't, you know, an infant. ETA: Context is HERE. We're talking about a 17 YEAR OLD BOY specifically.

[Poll #1752621]

DID YOU SEE THE CONTEXT I LINKED RIGHT BEFORE THE POLL OR WERE YOU ALL: TICKY BOX! Just checking. ;)

Like when Gwenyth Paltrow won her Oscar in that ill-fitted pink princess dress and thanked her "daddy." No. Daddies, when you're that age, are old men who visit you on the pole and bring you sparkly things.

I CAN'T BE ALONE ON THIS ONE. ...can I?

(Off topic, but the Glee recaps have begun - with cocktail recipes and a drinking game! - and Mel's Bachelorette recap is up as well. That show is CRACK. Whitney Houston crack. And I made a Whitney BOB-BAY! joke in my RHoNJ recap that no one caught and I have a sad.)

Comments

[lettered.livejournal.com]

I still call my mommy mommy sometimes. I also still sometimes lean my head on her shoulder so she can stroke my hair.

I also know a guy who goes by the name "Bubba", because when he was born, his older brother couldn't say, "brother".

I feel like names are a little different when it comes to infantalization of language, because of the emotional significance attached to names. If I used to say "baba" instead of baby, it seems once I could say baby and learned how to, I should change it. But I don't want to change what I called someone I love for the first five years of my life.

But other people are entitled to think I'm weird or a freak because of it, I guess.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Well, let me clarify the context, and see if you feel the same.

Boy A calls his mother to ask something while in a room with his boyfriend and his boyfriend's father. When he hangs up the phone he says, "Mommy said blah blah."

A quiet moment with your mother while she loves you is totally sweet. A 17 year old guy calling his mom "Mommy" not to her, but referring to her is.... I can't lie, I find it strange.

[mockingbirdq.livejournal.com]

See I'm East Texan so that word was never used in my family. Instead it was "Mama" - always and even now. The word "Mom" was reserved to be used only when describing said parent to another teenager or when extremely PO'ed at said parent.

Strangely the very Southern "Daddy" was never used in my family either. My dad was from old German stock so we always called him "Papa" which all my friends considered just weird. I have female friends in their thirties who still call their folks Mommy and Daddy though, and I will admit to hating it ;)

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Oh, ok in that context it's fucking weird.

But I want my kid to call me mommy because omfg Stoney he is taking driving lessons and I cannot staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Mama is what's used in my family, too. Or Mom. "Mother" is the P.O.d word, lol. (Or when my daughter is being funny and formal.)

And in my family (Texan/OK) Papa is for grandfathers. Or PeePaw or Pa(h)Pa(w) (with the accompanying Meemaw and Mamaw. Lol.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm linking back to my comment to make sure people get the context I'm using.

(LOL, mine is about to start in three weeks and it is CRAZY. We are contemplating RAZORS. For his MUSTACHE. Waaaaaaaaah.)

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

AGHHHHH!! Also also?? HIS VOICE IS DEEPER THAN HIS FATHER'S. *cries*

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

He is going to be sleeping in his big boy bedroom until he's in his mid-40's. Then she'll spring for a queen bed for her little prince.

[dovil.livejournal.com]

THAT'S SOME FUCKED UP SHIT, DUDE!

Double the ick factor: Parents who always refer to each other as Mother/Father, Mommy/Daddy. That's a crunched face look of disdain, right there.

[gillo]

My girls are 20 and 23 and usually call me "Mummy", slightly to my surprise. I don't mind it, and I don't mind that they refer to me as "My Mum" for that matter. Anything which is an improvement on "the old bat at home" or "Hey, you!" is a step in the right direction.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

LOL x FOREVER.

The story I was reading that sparked this. I just couldn't stick it out. That kind of talk and then when guys are written to "stick their tongues out" at someone... UGH. No me gusta.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I had a wise family friend that told me that once you let your spouse call you "Mother" (or "father," I don't want to judge what happens in people's houses) the romance is GONE.

GROSS.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

And because I'm so very American, I - of course - find the British "Mummy" to be utterly charming.

I AM AN ONION. With stinky, make you cry layers.

[dovil.livejournal.com]

When my step-dad was trying to acclimatise to the new family set-up he tried calling my mother Mum - that got stopped preeeety quickly as in "Excuse me? I'm not your Mother!". I loled.

[killiara.livejournal.com]

I must admit, post 30, that I go out of my way to make my Dad melt by calling him 'Papa' on occasion rather than Dad. It all depends on the context, you know?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Papa is so old school, though. That doesn't seem strange to me. I put a link to the context to which I'm referring in the post, and in that context I just think it's bizarre. To each his own, etc etc.

[lettered.livejournal.com]

I'm not well-versed enough in Glee, but that sounds like an out of character moment. Imo what you call your mommy can definitely be in and out of character.

(I just started watching SPN, and am surprised by Dean calling Sam "Sammy". I had assumed it was a fannish invention.)

I just--um, well, squishy feelings towards parents are on my soapbox about embarrassment. There are enough natural biological feelings that we can't admit because they're wrong or stupid or immature. But I think it's very natural to have more basic, child-like feelings towards your parents. I feel like it's okay to admit that, too, just as long as you're not acting on that (i.e. as long as you're not relying on them for everything and letting them make decisions for you--or, conversely, letting them rile you up or defying them for the sheer sake of defiance), and as long as you're not admitting it inappropriate situations (e.g. talking about your needy feelings for your mother in a work interview. Or killing pretty girls who come to the Bates Motel. Whatever). I feel like saying "mommy" is an admission of said feelings. People who say it either don't care about the stigma or are unaware of it, both of which are a-ok imo.

But obviously, it all depends on the character. There are certainly characters I would never make say, "Mommy."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

I voted a little strange, but I think it totally depends on the context. Like, in an extreme situation, I think it works. Buffy in The Body being a good example.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

That's why I put that link to the context up there - and I TOTALLY AGREE that in the case of The Body, that's a natural and reasonable (and heartbreaking) response. And seems much more realistic for girls to talk that way, than guys.

For a 17 year old guy to say they can stay at their boyfriend's house for dinner? Weird, imo.

[jerusha]

Oh, man. Given that context, it's fucking weird. Sometimes I refer to my mom as my mommy, but it's usually either as a joke, or to reinforce how important she is to me. For example, after someone made her cry, I might say, "No one makes my mommy cry." But in casual conversation? NO. A WORLD OF NO.

[elizardbits.livejournal.com]

In that context it is hella weird but in the context of 30-y-o me whining to my mom about something vitally important like lack of pudding pops in the freezer then it is TOTALLY LEGIT.

[stephanierb.livejournal.com]

I CAN'T BE ALONE ON THIS ONE. ...can I?

NO. My first thought upon reading "Mommy" was that Blaine had some kind of creepy relationship with his mother. It's just not right.

Like when Gwenyth Paltrow won her Oscar in that ill-fitted pink princess dress and thanked her "daddy." No. Daddies, when you're that age, are old men who visit you on the pole and bring you sparkly things.

I LOL'd so hard at that. Not just because of the 'old men and pole' bits but because YES, that dress was AWFUL. Did she not have a stylist to tell her it looked terrible on her? Ugh.

[lady-death.livejournal.com]

I know a 30 year old man married with 3 kids that calls his parents "Momma" and "Daddy", but he's a good ol' boy from North Carolina and it works coming from him. I admit anything in his accent sounds good so I'm kind of biased.

Blaine though...I just don't see it in his personality to refer to his mother that way. It doesn't fit with his private boarding school background, even if that was something he was transfered to for his personal well being wouldn't he have dropped it by associating with those kids?

Edited to add, I'm so excited for Glee recaps by you, you have no idea! You are my favourite source of television recaps on the internet.

[dovil.livejournal.com]

Oh god, that scene was brilliant, but her using that word was all about her feeling helpless and reverting back to a childlike state because oh dear god her mum was lying there dead. GAH! Did I mention how much I love that whole scene?

If a 17 year old is saying it and it's ooc I would say either the author is unfamiliar with how post-pubescent males interact with their parents, or more likely, is writing a self-insert fic.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

I called my mother "Mommy" until she died. I was thirteen. And I called her sister--the woman who raised me--"Auntie" until her death. I mean, she had a name--Mary. But she was never "Aunt Mary" unless someone else was referring to her.

On the other hand, I started calling my father "Dad" when I was about thirteen or fourteen. So I don't know.