Weeble wobbles wobble but they don't fall down

[stoney321]

'Cause they get back up again. So people on my flist are having lousy days, sad days, but most especially: BORED days. Me too. I've made a list of stuff that makes me laugh my ass off, or smile real hard. Hey: it passes the time. [ETA] pimp and spam this! I want something in my memories to look at when I'm having a bad day... Same for y'all!


Movie lines:
"On accounta somethin' bein' wrong with my semen?" Raising Arizona
"Don't you go dying on me!" Dumb and Dumber
"How'd you like to earn ten bucks the hard way?" Caddyshack
"Yes, it's true. This man has no penis." Ghostbusters
"Ho Ho! Don't try to hit anything..." Sixteen Candles
"What in the wide, wide world of sports is a going on in here?" Blazing Saddles
"Yes! YES!! HE VAS MY.... BOYFRIEND!!" Young Frankenstein
"Gotta pretty sweet Saturday lined up... Going to hit Bed, Bath and Beyond, then maybe to Home Depot to look at some flooring..." Old School
"I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me so hard." Silence of the Lambs. What? That's hiLARious.
"Oh, shit man, I shot Marvin!" Pulp Fiction
"It has -heh heh- raisins in it." Better Off Dead
"I'm in a glass room of emotional pain." Anchorman
"Oh, Dark Helmet, you're helmet is so big!" Space Balls
"You'll get nothing and you'll like it!" Caddyshack
"Buff it and give it a real good shine. Chop chop!" "Why, that mother fucker..." Caddyshack
"Have you ever seen a grown man naked?" Airplane 1
"So. Scraps is a boy dog." Airplane 2
"I told him I'd put him on the Montgomery Ward mailing list." Top Secret
"You eat shit for breakfast?" Happy Gilmore

Funny Buffy/Angel lines (IMO - and I have five minutes)
"You're going to think about that later and laugh, mister!" Buffy
"You do- you do dooddle too!" Willow
"I'm 17. Looking at linoleum makes me think of sex." Xander
"He is looking at her with his Peice Brosnany eyes." Xander
"Anya. How is your money?" "Fine! Thank you!" Buffy 'Bot/ Anya
"Doesn't have to be... What rhymes with 'lungs?'" Spike

AHH!! Pressure!! Clock's ticking! Gotta make dinner - post your faves here!


Last thing. I wonder if someone (adis723) would consider helping me make a banner (adis723) if I had the images but didn't know how to put them together on PS8? (adis723) But WHO??

Comments

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

"Surely you can't be serious." "I am, and don't call me Shirley"

"I picked a bad day to stop sniffing glue."

"Is it a plane, a hat, a broach a terrydactal?"

"So Timmy, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"

I'm trying to remember here. Yes, they're all from Airplace but that was the first movie that I saw as a kid that had me rolling about the place literally crying with laughter. There is much love for that movie. :D

[inlovewithnight.livejournal.com]

"I do NOT have puppet cancer!"
"Stupid fingers! Stupid string!" <-- Both Puppet Angel, of course.

"To read is makes our speaking English good." Xander. I love that line, which I am probably remembering wrong.

"This separates the weak from the chafed, the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian." <-- Dodgeball

I might be back later with more...

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

"Chill, blood. She gonna catch you at the rebound on the med side."
"I have a drinking problem."
"And then Charles started wearing Diana's dresses, I couldn't believe it!"
"An interrogative statement used to test someone's knowledge, but that's not important right now."
"I've never been with a man before..."

I. Love. Airplane. What the hell is airplace? :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

WHeee!!! Puppet Angel is FILLED with the funny. I'm making dinner and racing back to the computer = bad memory

Come back!! Come back!! Spam me with the funny. Always welcomed.

I'm not good with lines, I'm long winded

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

"You're my witness, she said 'Pa'."
"She was pointing to a mailbox, Sam."
"Yes, as if to say, 'Pa, look, a mailbox.'"- Daniel and Sam, A Few Good Men

"Sammy Wayne Desota, what is this in my Frigadaire?
Beer."
"Well, I don't care what you do in your home, but you will not keep liquor in mine."
"Ah, Annelle, fer Christ's sake!"
"Who?"
"Christ."
"Are you speaking of our lord. Is that who's name you're taking in vain."
"That's the one." - Steel Magnolias

"I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to." - Napoleon Dynamite

"Remove head from sphincter, then drive!" - Kat, 10 Things I Hate About You

"You got to read at Sodom and Gomorrah. I had to do all the work."
"What work did you do? You lit a few fires."
"I rained down sulfur, man. There's a subtle difference."
"Oh, okay, I'm sure."
"Hey, you know, fuck you man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulfur is like an endurance trial. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in... next to soccer." - Bartelby and Loki, Dogma

And yes, those were from memory./geek mode

Also, if you want I could help you. I mean, I don't know if you had someone else in mind, but if they are unavailable...

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

"Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We're safe as kittens." Sixteen Candles
***
"Why are we wearing bras on our heads?"
"Ceremonial." Weird Science
***
"Every time Catherine would turn on the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour." Christmas Vacation
***
"But you hate people!"
"Yes, but I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?" Clerks
***
"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age." Dazed and Confused
***
"Her ears are pierced three times, and there's glitter nail polish. Looks like town to me..." Silence of the Lambs
***
"Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins."
"Homer Simpson, smiling politely." The Simpsons

aaaand...Buffy:

Giles: If your identity as the Slayer is revealed it could put you and all those around you in grave danger.
Buffy: Well, in that case I won't wear my button that says, 'I'm the Slayer, ask me how!'

Xander: I mean, you yourself, Oz, are considered more or less cool. Why
is that?
Oz: Am I?
Xander: Is it about the talking? You know, the way you tend to express
yourself in short, noncommittal phrases?
Oz: Could be.

Willow: And besides, when is there any "us two?" You two are the two who are the two!

Xander: Can I just say, "Yeeegch!"
Buffy: I'll see your "yeeegch" and raise you a "Ne-yeagh"...

Spike: “Sodden sleeping chair is bloody – sodden.”

Xander: I do not babble. I occasionally run on, every now and then I yammer.

Spike: They didn't put a chip in your head, did they?
Buffy: No.
Spike: Be funny if they did.

Spike: Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?

Spike: Angel's dull as a table lamp. And we have very different coloring.

Cordy: Oh, God. Oh, God. My hair. My hair. The government gave me bad hair!

Wesley: In fact, I happen to be head boy.
Cordy: Gee, I wonder how you earned that nickname.
Wesley: A lot of effort, I don't mind saying.

Angel: Those were my nuns!
Spike: Yeah. Nuns are your thing. Everybody knows that.

Ah, my little Stoney. Always good for a laugh.

[inlovewithnight.livejournal.com]

Got a Firefly bit...

"Okay, help me look for our guy. Older, stoutish, wears a red sash crosswise."
"Why does he do that?"
"Maybe he won the Miss Persephone pageant. Just help me look."
"Is that him?"
"That's the buffet table."
"Well, how do we know for sure unless we question it?"
~ Mal and Kaylee, "Shindig."

And movies...
"He has an enormous- TALENT!" ~ Moulin Rouge

"He's a cat, Greg. He lacks the strength and the opposable thumbs." ~ Meet the Parents

"There is such a thing as MANNERS. As a way of treating people. Like these fish! These fish have manners. And they're coming with me." ~ Jerry Maguire

Absolutely anything from Office Space. "No talent ass-clown." HA.

For my girl:

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

I'm pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton at the Piggly Wiggly this morning, and I smiled at the son of a bitch 'fore I could help myself.

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

Running in on Sue's tails, because I left out the Jossverse ones.

"You're just impressed by any pretty girl who can walk and talk."
"She doesn't have to talk." - Oz and Devon

"It's Wesley, thank you. Wyndham-Price. I attend the Watcher's Academy in Southern Hampshire. In fact, I happen to be Head Boy."
"Gee, I wonder how you earned that nickname."
"A lot of effort I don't mind saying." - Cordy and Wes

"Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!" - Giles

"That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo." - Buffybot

"So, she brutally stabs herself, dumped the body, then cut off her own ear?"
"No. She cut off her ear, then killed herself, then dumped the body... I'm really off my game, aren't I?"-Willow and Buffy

"I think dummies are cute. You don't?"
"They give me the wig. Ever since I was little."
"What happened?"
"I saw a dummy. It gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there." - Willow and Buffy

I may return.

[chantal87.livejournal.com]

Where am I going to get a piece of metal? In space? At this hour? - Airplane 2

Mother: Oh, I sure do miss Navin.
Brother: Is he ever coming back?
Father: Take away his place setting - it's making us too god damn sad.
Mother: I wonder if he's doing alright?
Sister: (shouting out window) Hey Navin! How you doing?
Navin: Don't worry about me! I think I see a car coming - no wait - it's a truck! It's a truck!
Mother: Oh Lord, help our little boy. - The Jerk

Son you got a panty on your head - Raising Arizona

CORDELIA: I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort. And I know the peasants were all depressed...
XANDER: I think you mean 'oppressed'.
CORDELIA: Whatever. They were cranky. So they're, like, 'Let's lose some heads'. Uhhh! That's fair. And, and Marie Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna let them have cake!
Teacher: Yes, well, that's a very interesting perspective. - Buffy

SNYDER: Whoa, Summers! You drive like a spaz! - Buffy

That's all I can think of now.

Thanks for the giggle :)

lol

[serenelystrange.livejournal.com]

Too many movie/tv quotes to count so i'll share one from some video game that i found amusing.

"To fall is to die,"
"Do not fall."

And yes, i was as bored as most of everybody else here today, :)

Oh, and you get bonus points for including Spaceballs quotes cause that movie is frieken awesome, :D

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

Whoa, Summers! You drive like a spaz!

Oh! I totally forgot that one! Love it. And "The Jerk"!

Re: For my girl:

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

"They'd probably make me eat a live chicken."

"Not on your first visit!"


I love you. Where are you, I tried to call you a bit ago.

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

Notice how I requoted the head boy line.

Uh-huh. Gutter.Brain.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

"But... I have my 15 pieces of flare?"
"I could burn this playthe down, you know."
~~Office Space

"She has HUGE tracks of land."
"I feel happy! I think I'll go for a walk now."
"So some watery tart throws a scimitar at you and that makes you king, eh?"
"They call me... Tim?"
~~ Monty Python & The Holy Grail

"But I don't have my jazz flute... Oh, all right!" Anchorman

Hoo-ray! Come back and spam me some more!

[mirasol.livejournal.com]

I said, "Walt, what the hell are you doing, you know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too, why don't you knock it off?" And he says to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" - Mallrats
*
"Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist." - The Princess Bride. Okay, maybe not a funny line, but that fake monster hamster is INCONCEIVABLE.
*
My mother died in a freak accident during a routine liposuctioning. - Clueless
*
I thought we were watching Scooby Doo - Mr Deeds
*
I'm not crazy, M'Lynn, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years! - Steel Magnolias
*
Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history. From the, Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree!
*
"I don't know what everyone's talking about, that outfit doesn't make you look like a hooker." -- Xander

"So I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sort of ripped? Like, is the hippo going, "Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity." And you know, the monkey's just, "I mock you with my monkey pants!" And then there's a big coup in the zoo." - Oz
*
Tim: We were wondering if a military man like you, a soldier, er, could you give a man a lethal blow?
Gareth: If I was forced to, I could. If it was absolutely necessary, if he was attacking me.
Tim: What if he was coming, really hard?
Gareth: Yeah, if my life was in danger, yeah.
Dawn: And do you always imagine doing it face to face with a bloke, or could you take a man from behind?
Gareth: Either ways easy.
Dawn: So you could take a man from behind?
Gareth: Yeah.
- from The Office
*
Yesterday, an eighty-year-old librarian broke my penis. - The New Guy

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hee!
Favorite bit from Steel Magnolias is Weezer cutting the ass off the armadillo cake. Ha!

I'll email you some pics and what I want, and you can feel free to tell me to stick it up my (AHH!) stick it up my (AHH!)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HEE!! I knew I could count on you for the Buffy quotes. What's wrong with me tonight? Oh. i'm listening to the Scissor Sisters and dancing all over the house.

I'm sad I didn't do the Re-Run dance for you when you were here. I can fucking move my big butt. HA!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

"JOHNSON! NAVIN! R!! I'm Somebody! I'm Somebody!"
"She has the neatest tattoo on her inner thigh. It says 'slippery when wet.'"
"I made you a tuna fish sandwich with the crusts cut off and wrapped in cellophane, just like you like it!"
~~The Jerk

"I learned Karate at the Y" Principal Snyder

"Nothing's un-cool about healthy teeth and bones." The Mayor

"*Sobs* I love him so mu-hu-huch!" Raising Arizona

"Into the mud, scum queen!" The Man with Two Brains

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

Shelby: "Mama and I, we agree on one thing..."
Shelby & M'Lynn(in unison): "The groom's cake!"
M'Lynn: "It's awful. It's in the shape of giant armadillo."

And for that? You get the David icon.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You get massive bonus points for using The Office.

Every time Edina says "Sweetie, Darling!" and "LaCroix" Absolutely Fabulous

The fist pounding thing from Friends.

"Whoa. Check out that ass."
"Yeah, I bet he works out."

"Hey everybody! We landed on the moon!!"
~~ Dumb and Dumber

"That word you keep using. I do not think it means what you think it means." The Princess Bride

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

In our land, the land far, far away we're hobbits tread and then are picked up and thrown like paper balloons, and the trees talk as you cut off their limbs and burn them for firewood, we call 'Airplane', 'Flying High'. Ohhh, drug references! Which is why I call it Airplace.

It's true, how dare you not believe my lies!

*throws coffee into my face*

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

We're hobbits? What's with my wacked out sentences today? My fingers have been shooting heroin into themselves, it's the only explanation.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Dear God, don't stop. BWAH!! And PHWAR! And quite possibly GHDWAR! (I didn't want you to feel bad.)

*mainlines caffeine into you to make the funny keep on a'coming*

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I'm really fond of "Are you people all very stoned?"

And, of course, "...all nerds think about is sex."

Julia, staying off the owied ankle in the midst of the plumbing follies