Once again, I can only find things for myself when shopping for others.

[stoney321]

I stupidly went to the mall yesterday (while sick, dumb, dumb, dumb) but instantly left after pulling on the first pair of jeans in the dressing room caused me to break a sweat. DEAR FASHION WORLD: I know young girls (which I am not) love stretchy, soft, almost jersey-knit like jeans. I am not one of them. I like denim for my denim. 1) I live in Texas, and tight knit makes me sweat in places I'd rather stay fresh. 2) I have muscles in my legs and a round booty and would like for the material to skim those instead of looking like I'm wearing late night sad pants (you know, those pajama jeans. WHAT.)

I do not like flares. I do not like skinny. (I also have calves, you see, and when I bend down, I black out when I wear skinny jeans.) STRAIGHT LEGS. The Gap made them, the Gap is all out of dark wash straight legs. High-end brands used to make them, now they sell $200 pajama jeans. WHAT MAGICAL STORE SELLS STRAIGHT-LEG, DARK WASH JEANS THAT ARE ACTUAL JEANS? I have tried: Citizens of Humanity, 7 For All Mankind, Paige Denim, and Eldon? I'm not remembering that last one right, but I was DISTRAUGHT. [/Moaning Myrtle.]

I'm going into Dallas to the proper shopping mall and looking more thoroughly when I'm not ill. BOO. (Hudson looks promising, as does Burberry's Brit line.) I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS. Except the first person to suggest "Not Your Mother's Jeans" gets a fist in the gut from me. :) Why yes, I am only 2 weeks from a NYC vacation where I would like to look schnazzy.

ION, I watched 8 Mile last night and was reminded of how freaking hot Eminem is when he bangs Brittany Murphy in that dirty shop and she licks her hand and his FACE omg, and you can see how gorgeous his body is under those stupid hip hop clothes and ungh. I have a secret love for stupid boys made stupid by life but wish they were smarter/strive to be better. Mmmm.

IOON, the Mr. is apparently playing a gig at the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame in a few months? So I'm now married to a rock star. I sat with him while he worked on his setlist last night and before the drums gave me a headache, was all shades of proud and happy. He's really good. And then I took some aspirin and went to bed. :)

TELL ME I SHOULDN'T GO WORK IN THE YARD DOING WINTER CLEAN UP, GUYS, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M THINKING I SHOULD BE DOING. Because I am an idiot. (Oooh, maybe I'll work on making a masterlist and cleaning up links, because I know how to PAR-TAY.)

Comments

[zyrya]

Jeggings!

*cackle*

[punkkitten2113.livejournal.com]

HA! Here's some barf for jeggings.....*blech*

How dare we women who have calves and booties (HELLO) suggest that our jeans actually FLATTER us rather than sag down showing off all sorts of skin that was not meant to be shown when trying on shoes at said mall.....I hear ya, sister.

Unfortunately, I live in the deep-seated Midwest, where women my age are wearing Mom jeans, and H&M is our only source of "couture"....so I'm afraid I'm not much help.

But good luck looking fabulous - I'm sure you'll make it work.

And get out of the yard.....if you need a sense of accomplishment, a masterlist is a FINE time well-spent!

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

WHAT??? NO, YOU MAY NOT WORK OUTSIDE. YOU MUST SIT QUIETLY AND LET YOURSELF GET BETTER. I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL IGNORE YOU ON OUR ENTIRE TRIP IF YOU ARE SICK (because you didn't let yourself get better). I HAVE HAD CATS ALL OF MY LIFE. I KNOW HOW TO SIT IN THE SAME ROOM, FEET AWAY, AND IGNORE PEOPLE WITH GREAT DISAPPROVAL.

Also.. jeans. Bah. I can't find any straight-legged jeans that sit right at my waist. So either I can have boot-cut that fit right but can't tuck into my riding boots or straight-legged that are huge around the waist but fit into my jeans. BAH, I SAY.

Aw, rock star mister!

[elizardbits.livejournal.com]

Miss Sixty makes straight leg jeans, or at least they used to. Nixie One is the most bootcut-y style they've had in ages. I gave up trying to find them in stores and just get them on ebay. Sizes run a little small - I'm usually a 25 but in miss sixty I have to wear a 26. OH THE HUMANITY.

wait maybe it is just the cupcakes omg


(they are almost all a little stretchy though, like 2%)

[copykween.livejournal.com]

I would also like these same jeans with a waist higher than "super mega plunging-buttcrack nice hip-bones ultra low rise"!

Thank being said, I get my jeans at The Buckle lately. But even then, I end up trying on approximately 3 million styles/pairs before getting the right fit.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHA. OMG, aren't they awful? I mean, unless someone is reading this that happens to be wearing them. Um, they are just not for me. =/

(Hee. Also, HELLO, MY SWEET!! Did you get the bat problem resolved sans cat interference?)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Aren't they the worst?! And the jeans I tried on yesterday were $178 jeggings. NO. NO NO NO NO.

I would like a mid rise that doesn't give me a muffin top. And I work the hell out, I'm fit! WHY ARE THESE PANTS GIVING ME A MUFFIN TOP THAT I DON'T EVEN HAVE?! Cripes. When I find the miracle pants, I shall share so those of you in towns without a Nordstroms or whatever can MAIL ORDER. Oh, mail order jeans, you feel like the most dangerous thing ever. (lol)


I LIKE THAT THOUGHT, YES. No outdoors for me! <3

[zyrya]

I did! Poor wee thing, it huddled into a fold of the pelmet. The next evening I braved the ladder and tapped the little bat into the Rescue Box, and popped it out onto a tree branch. I hope it's ok!

And yes, Jeggings.

I can't stop laughing.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I WON'T I WON'T I PROMISE!!!!!!!!! DO NOT IGNORE ME ON OUR TRIP I WILL CRY AND WALK BEHIND YOU MAKING THIS FACE: D: THE WHOLE TIME AND PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU ARE SO MEAN OMG.

(Oooh, that back bagging thing? $12 at a good tailor, and that problem is SOLVED. I had a lovely salesclerk show me that one.) BUT YES. When I find the miracle pants, I shall share. (Actually, Gap's Curvy line is also good for that, and they make straight leg! They were just OUT at my local Gap. BOO.)

He's such a rock star! isn't that so hilarious? And he asked me my opinion on which of his various sticks I prefer, and I just glazed over and pointed randomly. Lol.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT I WEAR A 27. LOL, I think I'm a bit taller than you, right? Good inseam, or do you buy petite? I AM GOING TO LOOK INTO THIS BRAND, YOU ARE A GOD SEND. Also, I knew I should have asked you in the first place, d'oh. I don't mind a LITTLE stretch, but christ, the 7 For All Mankind jeans were like tights. UH, THAT IS TOO MUCH STRETCH FOR JEANS, imo.

[drvsilla.livejournal.com]

Try Wrangler or Levis.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I have issues with all the pocket detailing - I'm not much of a bling girl (I'm pretty preppy, actually) and here, The Buckle only has jeans that have the white stitching/bedazzled pockets, and I have a juicy "I do lots of squats and lunges and have defined grab-n-grinds" booty. :D

But yeah - it's a try on a gazillion pairs until you find just the right one. WHERE IS MY TIM GUNN PERSONAL SHOPPER!!? As in actual Tim Gunn? *cry*

[lynnenne]

Old Navy? Or Levis. I'm sure there must be a Levis store somewhere in Stoneyland.

[punkkitten2113.livejournal.com]

I would like a mid rise that doesn't give me a muffin top. And I work the hell out, I'm fit! WHY ARE THESE PANTS GIVING ME A MUFFIN TOP THAT I DON'T EVEN HAVE?!

EXACTLY.

Ha, mail order jeans...if only they could give a detailed description of just WHAT they mean by the size indicated......is that the super-tight 7, the super-stretchy, so not really a 7, the big and bulky 7, or the I fit everywhere except the mile around the ankle 7 (since apparently some stores think a 7 means I'm 5'9)

Ok, I'm going to catch that beast and reign her back in....

Congrats on the rock-star hubby, by the way. Sex. on. a. stick.

[altyronsmaker.livejournal.com]

Urgh. Stay inside, stay clean (away from dirt/dust/pollens), and rest so you can get better and find those jeans! Massive sinus infections just LOVE all the dust you'd stir up by doing winter clean up. >.<

Also, I am totally in agreement about the state of denim and jean styles lately. I like rigid denim that feels durable. Not that soft, cling to every ripple and curve stuff. blech. Also, I'm a bootcut person myself. They look sexy as hell breaking over the instep.

[ruthless1.livejournal.com]

Do NOT make me pull this car over, change directions and drive to Texas to smack some sense into your soggy head. GO TO THE COUCH NOW. Seriously - pop in another "stupid boy, bad choices, hot body" movie and relax. You are not going to get better if you don't. The crapola in your yard a) is not going anywhere and b) matters to no one but you (for today at least.) Everyone is still in food comas from the holiday. Or shopping spree frenzies.
In another news - that is very cool about the Mister. How did he get THAT gig.

[elizardbits.livejournal.com]

YEAH BETTER SORT THAT SHIT OUT, LOAFY

dude everyone is taller than me STOP RUBBING IT IN. they don't have a small/reg/tall inseam, they do every style in a hillion jillion different inseams. I get whatever I can find and then have them altered.

they're all the level of stretchy that if you squat down, your knees don't bleed from the horrible stiff denim - there's enough give to move like a human being and not Robo John Wayne getting off a horse.


ALSO to address concerns below - at least half their styles are low in the waist, but not asstacularly low. and the ones I mentioned, nixie one, don't have any pockets, front or back.

[phaeba.livejournal.com]

Do you have a Kohl's nearby? I had a desperate jeans situation this past summer (I sat down and my old jeans didn't approve) and found the love of my life there - Chaps Modern Straight Leg. I would have never thought to look at Kohl's, and never would have considered Chaps, but they really do amazing things for a booty and calves :D I went back the next week and bought two more pairs. (Be sure to try them on though -- lengths vary, which I found out the hard way after not trying on the jeans during the second store-run).

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sure it's all better now!! We had something similar happen with a bat mama and her babies, and they were right as rain once released. <3

JEGGINGS. Christ on a cracker.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

OY, THE INSEAM DEBACLE. I have found an AMAZING TAILOR that will fix that for me (and the pooch at the small of my back thing, too, yay only $12 to fix it!) and can't recommend that enough. Tailors are your friend.

Oh, he's pretty sexy. :D Imagine Blaine with greying hair and as a drummer. I MEAN, COME ON.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

WELL NOW I'M GOING TO THROW UP AND KEEP IT IN TUPPERWARE IN MY CLOSET AS A REMINDER OF HOW GROSS I AM.

But when I stand next to shorter girls I feel like a BEHEMOTH so you have that over me, you dainty fucking princess.

I'm good with that kind of stretch - not the all-over knit feel where after a wear or two the thighs start to pill. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?! I just found a super cute looking pair at Burberry, Imma put them on hold while I'm thinking of it.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Levis - I think there's even that magic Levis booth at the store I want to hit tomorrow, where they scan your body and spit out the jeans that are right for your shape? WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT.

Wranglers? Woman, I live in Texas, they will judge me and wonder where my Justin ropers are! :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Old Navy doesn't fit my body right, for some reason, which SUCKS because I wouldn't mind buying cheap jeans. Drvsilla was just mentioning Levis, and I had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT THEM. I'm adding it to my list. <3

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I WILL NOT GO OUTDOORS, or Flaming_Muse is going to shun me. I WILL BE A GOOD GIRL, I PROMISE. (Oooh, that's a good point about dust, too. I have such smart friends. <3)

RIGID! Maybe a touch of give, but just a TOUCH. JEANS. DENIM. Gimmie!! Bootcut have to be a TINY flare for me, otherwise I feel like I'm in bell bottoms. I HAVE ISSUES, I FULLY ADMIT THIS. :)

[copykween.livejournal.com]

I don't mind the blingy pockets, but the thick stitching drives me insane!!! Unfortunately those two things usually go hand in hand. Boo!

Also not a fan of the bizarrely "worn" styles, which always look like there was an unfortunate bleach accident near the thigh area. Yeah, I don't need to draw more attention there!

I usually end up going with Silver, BKE or, my favorite, Big Star.

SIGN ME UP FOR A PERSONAL TIM GUNN!!! I'd love to NEVER have to go clothes shopping again.