I, as an expert farter (the dissertation I presented? Smelled of elderberries and SUCCESS) would like to offer you my expertise on farting, as I am considered World Renowned in the act of gas passing. (I did my undergraduate in a chili factory.)
It's really technical, and I'd have to actually be there to train you in clenching - so many people think they know what they're doing, but that's because they haven't really studied the craft, you know? - but I can get you from shitting yourself to blaming small children in a couple of weeks.
There will be a lot of cheese, whiskey, and bran muffins involved.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
I believe in you.
Date: 2012-08-07 12:17 am (UTC)It's really technical, and I'd have to actually be there to train you in clenching - so many people think they know what they're doing, but that's because they haven't really studied the craft, you know? - but I can get you from shitting yourself to blaming small children in a couple of weeks.
There will be a lot of cheese, whiskey, and bran muffins involved.
YOU CAN DO IT!