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stoney321AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T DIE FROM PORKING A WASP'S NEST. 140+ stings, 54 of them on his wang.
WARNING ABOUT THAT LINK: a man grabs a handful of wasps before the story starts and I am covered in hives just from that.
YOU KNOW, THAT IS ENOUGH, PEOPLE. That is just freaking enough. Honestly? I think there needs to be MORE OF THIS HAPPENING to thin the herd. This is mother nature's way of culling the flock, this I believe.
Hey, guys! I thought I had a rough morning, and now I'm too shocked and baffled to remember what the hell even caused my frustration. Sounds like I need to eat a plate of French fries and have some cheesecake because LIFE IS SHORT. Especially when you poke your hose where it doesn't belong.
Fun fact: I am DEATHLY allergic to wasps. I'm very allergic to bees, but wasps can kill me. I almost died when I was a kid when four yellow jackets stung my shoulder and I went into cardiac arrest and my throat closed up. I AM A LITTLE STRESSED ABOUT THIS STORY. And also I am laughing, because that man clearly needed to die.
[Poll #1913609]
WARNING ABOUT THAT LINK: a man grabs a handful of wasps before the story starts and I am covered in hives just from that.
YOU KNOW, THAT IS ENOUGH, PEOPLE. That is just freaking enough. Honestly? I think there needs to be MORE OF THIS HAPPENING to thin the herd. This is mother nature's way of culling the flock, this I believe.
Hey, guys! I thought I had a rough morning, and now I'm too shocked and baffled to remember what the hell even caused my frustration. Sounds like I need to eat a plate of French fries and have some cheesecake because LIFE IS SHORT. Especially when you poke your hose where it doesn't belong.
Fun fact: I am DEATHLY allergic to wasps. I'm very allergic to bees, but wasps can kill me. I almost died when I was a kid when four yellow jackets stung my shoulder and I went into cardiac arrest and my throat closed up. I AM A LITTLE STRESSED ABOUT THIS STORY. And also I am laughing, because that man clearly needed to die.
[Poll #1913609]
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Date: 2013-05-14 07:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 07:53 pm (UTC)^^ my new motto for life
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Date: 2013-05-14 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 07:57 pm (UTC)WASPS. Oh my god. I just think of mud daubers and how freaking INSANE they are and.... yeah. Booze, for sure.
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Date: 2013-05-14 07:58 pm (UTC)Most of the topics I'll bring up on the show/web-chats would be basic understanding of why things happen, and that can translate to most climates! <3 <3
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Date: 2013-05-14 07:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 07:59 pm (UTC)(Hahaha.) Bees and me...we've got an understanding. I provide them all sorts of food sources and they don't sting me. Wasps, on the other hand, are total jerks. (And I have a new nest growing in my front porch ceiling and need to get the bug bomb going. D:)
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Date: 2013-05-14 08:10 pm (UTC)On the plus side, I do have chocolate cake and wine.
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Date: 2013-05-14 08:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 08:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 08:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 09:00 pm (UTC)I suffered a horrible encounter with a wasp nest when I was a kid (the wasps won) and am also allergic to wasps and bees. Even without these in my background, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be PURPOSEFULLY PUTTING ANY BODY PART INTO A WASP NEST. What in the holy smokes is WRONG with people?!?
Send booze and salty fries covered in chocolate (yeah, I said it), stat! I need something to help me forget...
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Date: 2013-05-14 09:09 pm (UTC)I AM STILL BLOWN AWAY BY HIS URGE TO PUT HIS MANHOOD IN THE GAPING JAW OF DOOM. I have seen some weird ass shit in my life, but this takes the cake.
*tops off your wine glass*
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Date: 2013-05-14 09:16 pm (UTC)In short, THANK YOU.
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Date: 2013-05-14 09:23 pm (UTC)*big, squishy hugs*
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Date: 2013-05-14 09:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 09:32 pm (UTC)OMG, I am still covered in hives.
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Date: 2013-05-14 09:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 09:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 09:52 pm (UTC)knocking on heaven’s durr. Bwahahahaha!
I would listen and question and learn and...oh, let's be honest: I just want to have fancy lady money to have you come do my garden. Or look at yours. But I would still listen!
When Dad died, I spent at evening at the house by myself (it was the house I'd lived in from age 9-18) and wrote his eulogy. There were wasp's nests on the eaves of the house (because my Dad was made of leather and hellfire and therefore impermeable) and as I was dashing back in the house from pacing on the hilltop (great view) FOUR of those bastards stung my shoulder! I am not allergic, but I still got a softball swelling. Bah! Bees (like Navin R. Johnson) have a special purpose. Wasps are just the assholes of the Arthropods.
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Date: 2013-05-14 11:11 pm (UTC)I admit, I read wasps and death and skipped ahead, because now I am paranoid there are wasps in here trying to kill me, okay?
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Date: 2013-05-14 11:25 pm (UTC)Yay for gardening tip show!!!! <3 <3 <3
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Date: 2013-05-14 11:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 11:27 pm (UTC)I am going to apply that cheesecake directly to my face. <3
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Date: 2013-05-14 11:29 pm (UTC)If I had fancy lady money, I would just redo your garden for you! Or send you pictures or some shit, IDK, I'm super tired tonight. :D
Let's put our feet up and do some Charisma Nipples.
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Date: 2013-05-15 12:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-15 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-15 01:36 am (UTC)Stoney, I want so much to plant my tomatoes! But there is all this stuff about ~~soil temperature~~ and I'm wondering if I just take my probe thermometer to the garden!?
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Date: 2013-05-15 01:48 am (UTC)Are daffodils done in your area? Is it solidly above 50F at night? You're probably okay, then. TRICK: your tomato plants need to be stripped of the lower leaves and planted all the way down to the NEXT set of leaves like THIS. You'll have a stronger root system, ergo, stronger plants. :D
If you really want to jump start, plant them near cement - the sidewalk, street, a retaining wall. You'll get all of that reflective heat warming up the soil.
(And I have been horrible about replying to old posts, so I wanted to thank you for your links to help my blog. THANK YOU!)
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Date: 2013-05-15 02:22 am (UTC)I knew about the leaf-stripping, but that picture is the first indication I've seen that says to put the root-ball side-ways. Interesting.
Our plot's in the middle of the community garden, so there is nothing nearby. (Bonus, at least, being the full sun all day.)
Oh, awesome - did one of those tips end up leading you to something that worked?
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Date: 2013-05-15 02:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-15 02:41 am (UTC)That picture is one of the only ones I've ever seen that actually shows the best way to plant. You end up with twice the roots that way. More roots, healthier plant, more tomatoes. :)
THEY DID, THANK YOU!
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Date: 2013-05-15 02:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-15 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-15 03:11 am (UTC)Glad that stuff worked. Hey, look at that; the stuff I do for a living is semi-useful; who knew. ;)
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Date: 2013-05-15 08:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-15 10:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-15 02:01 pm (UTC)The whole point of the post was to jump start a bad day.
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Date: 2013-05-15 02:02 pm (UTC)Just because this is a journal doesn't mean I'm a journalist. ;)
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Date: 2013-05-15 04:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-15 05:53 pm (UTC)Also, I didn't even read the entire article, and I'm doing the twitchy-dance just thinking about the wasps. Bleh *flails*
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Date: 2013-05-15 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-15 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-15 08:53 pm (UTC)<3
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Date: 2013-05-16 12:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-19 07:56 am (UTC)