Time to let it go...

[stoney321]

Dear Thin Mints:

We've loved/hated each other for a long time, haven't we? I used to horde you, store you in my freezer, then sneak out of my bed and eat half a sleeve while you were still half-frozen. I've sprinkled you on baked brownies, looked longingly at your happy, green box, and bounced on my toes when I see a group of 8 year old pimps Girl Scouts selling you at $3 a box.

But it's time I let you go. It's just... Well, I can only buy you one time a year. And I buy a LOT of you. You know the part about the freezer? And quite frankly, I've moved on. No, no, not Samoas or Do-Si-Dos. I'm not like that - I wouldn't go for family. See, York Peppermint Patties now come in a cookie form. So: I get a York Peppermint on top of a mint-chocolate cookie. Surely you can see that it's all that I've wanted in a dessert cookie...

No hard feelings?

Oh, and I want my records back.

Love,
Stoney

PS: You know that thing you do? How you think it's cool? You really should stop.
*~*~
My stupid nice and generous neighbors decided they didn't want a tree today and let me dig it up. An Acer palmas "Inuba Shiduri." (A specialty Japanese maple) It's a $600 dollar tree and is GORGEOUS. Weeping. So red it's practically black. Suckers. So I'm super sore and loopy.

Comments

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

So: I get a York Peppermint on top of a mint-chocolate cookie. Surely you can see that it's all that I've wanted in a dessert cookie...

hOr. ;)

**eats all your cookies like woah**

[zyrya]

Japanese maple! Yum!

[serenelystrange.livejournal.com]

I once had a similar conversation with a Kit-Kat bar, but it begged me not to leave so i've gone back to them, lol. Ok, not really, but I wanted to comment and i really love Kit-Kats, :)

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

To Stoney:

Oh, and I want my records back.

But not the Carly Simons - cause you gave those to me for Valentines Day. Remember when Valentines Day still meant something around here? Wasted love!

Suck on it,

Thin Mints

/dork

And if you know what movie I just quoted, I will do things to you that make "subversive" look like Tahmoe...

[buffyx.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I want my records back.

Mwah!

My mother and sister are both chocolate-and-mint addicts.

I, however, am a whore for chocolate-and-peanut-butter. It is the best invention ever.

[violethamster.livejournal.com]

Hee! Um, do you know if the Samoas are seeing anyone?

Yay tree!

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

I feel that by gifting you with that tree (WOW- what a thing!) fate has in some way rewarded me for not purchasing a $65 tree peony yesterday. Because, as gorgeous as it was (smallish pale pink waterlily shaped flowers with red staminoids, about twenty of them on a 2' own-root plant) I have no idea where I'd put another tree peony given that I have 4. So you needed the maple more than I desired the tree peony (which was a lot).

I am in the grips of horrible seasonal plant lust, save me!

Julia, only bought three Campanulas, three Primulas, a bunch of dahlias for my sister, and two heirloom tomatoes and a Bulgarian Carrot pepper, aren't you proud of me?

[ropo.livejournal.com]

Yummm, those York cookies sound like the goodness, and unlike GS Cookies, I bet they're available all year long! Whooot!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_divya_/]

I'd leave a comment but I can't because I'm currently at the store buying York Peppermint Patty cookies. YUM.

[timeofchange.livejournal.com]

Breaking up is hard to do. You are very brave.

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

I broke up with Thin Mints three years ago (and now, thanks to your letter, I realize they were cheating on me the whole time), it just wasn't working out any more and Oreo started making the ones with the green mint cream filling and coffee cream filling ones, too. It just seemed unfair for me to keep on breaking dates with them and not telling them how I really felt. But you can't blame me; I mean, they were only here for a part of the year, it was always up to me to make sure they had a place (yes, the freezer, I was right there with ya man) to come home to.

I saw the Yorks, but I was not intrigued.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*bitch slaps you and runs away with ALL the cookies*

*leaves a trail so you can find me. With an EMPTY box and bloated tummy*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I know! Good on pancakes. What?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Mmm. Kit-kats. I have to seat the ridge of chocolate all around them, then eat each layer. It takes a while, but that's the kind of dedication I bring to the table.

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

You know, when I used to be a Corporate Cookie, and in the midst of a big ass project or in a really crappy mood, I'd catch myself humming the Vader theme under my breath. ::snort:;

My crazy neighbor now thinks her back yard is a wetland. Yeah. She's called the state EPA.

BUT in good news, they are outta here May 23rd. Woo hoo!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Dear Thin Mints:

Me?? Suck it?? I'll fucking bite you, how's that? Or better yet, I'll let you go sit in the mother fucking pantry with those Malteasers you've had your eye on the WHOLE TIME. Don't think I don't know about that.

I gave you everything. i've moved on. Just deal.

Fuck you,
Stoney's reducing in size hips

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Mmm. Chocolate and peanut butter is manna from heaven. But frozen thin-mints? *cries* No! I'm strong! I'm moving on!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Samoas are friggin' SLUTS. They are currently in my cookie jar with some Snickerdoodles, and you don't WANT to know what they are doing. You know the crumbs left over? How do you think they get there? Man, wise up.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

(Holy shit, I kept expecting them to come back and take it away from me off the little red wagon. Nooooo!!!)

Oh, Julia. you are stronger than I. I wouldn't have been able to leave without. And in the words of our former President, I have lusted in my heart.

(I made two bamboo and twine trellises today, with a white - purple stamens- passion vine on one, and a purple - with lime green stamens - on the other. Pictures in a month when they bloom.)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

See, I need someone that can BE there for me, you know? I... I just can't have the kind of relationship where it is all about their availability, you know? I'm worth more, man. I'm worth more.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I. KNOW.

Buy a bunch. Man. INHALED. If I smoked....

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*sniff*

Hold me?

But not my cookie/patty.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Well, I guess my new love is just not GOOD enough for you, is that it?? FIne. More for me.

*cries*

Vinnie, you know I don't mean to get so angry, right? You just talk to me like that and... I just can't help what I say. OMG, Sue and I talked about you coming up and the geeking that will happen and the FUN!!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ah HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

A wetland?? It's called a fucking busted sump pump. Pony up the cash, dig a french drain, get the hell out.

I just boggle at these weirdoes, and am happy that there is a LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. Now come see me the week after they leave! I'll rub your shoulders....

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

I'm workin' on it baby! I want to soooo badly!

::sings song of extreme Vader determination:: Yeah, it works for back strengthening stuff, too.

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

Dude, I can't wait!! There will be so much funnin' and drinkin' and dorkin' and y'all-in' going on. History books, baby, history books.

[winterlive.livejournal.com]

*decides to love you to distraction*
*cannot concentrate on anything else*

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

I'm going to buy so many chocolate minty goody treats in America that when I get back on the plane the wheels will explode under the weight and will tilt over and explode killing us all. Except me because I'll still be smothered in fire retardent peppermint chocolate.

Ohhh, I have peppermint shnaps which I will now have in honour of this post. And because I'm a drunk.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

Ah, you horribly cruel people talking about your chocolate loves when I must be strong and turn away from all such temptations. I'm going to be over here drowning myself in Dulce de Leche ice cream, the best remedy for chocolate lust that I've yet found. It's not chocolate, but it's almost as decadent.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*allows the distraction*
*lifts leg higher*

:-D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Mmm. Schnapps.

Did you say you were retarded? *snerk*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Eww, chocolate.. *ptooey*

Dulce de Leche is FANTASTIC. It's flan! But in other forms! Num.

[spikefan.livejournal.com]

Yes! In fact, the new Big Kat KitKats really lend themselves to the stripping of the chocolate followed by separation of layers--it's sublime. I've never met anyone who understood why disassembling a KitKat adds to its charm.

*cheers for your new tree*

*weeps for the poor spurned Thin Mints, offers them a new home*