Neener Neener Neeeeeeener

[stoney321]

I have something that NO ONE ELSE ON LJ has.

Yes, I cut her foot off, oh! I forgot! I harvested her kidneys too. Left her cooling on ice in the bathtub with a lovely thank you note. She's a real trooper. Actually... She's not. A real bee eye tea sea aitch. Heee! Guys, even I don't understand how I can still be hyper after this weekend. It all started on Friday...

*wavy lines of a flashback*

I had a late flight, and was worried about Dovil hanging out in the airport for a few hours after her trans-Pacific flight, so I got to DFW suuuuper earlier to see if I could switch. Good news: I did, bad news: I had to dump my heroin supply on a two year old and have the drug sniffing dogs alerted so I could take his seat. Which means that we weren't going to "party like it's 1999 or possibly even October of 2005." So I was a little disappointed, to say the least.

NO. Ahem. Got an earlier flight out on standby (whoo!), got a nice nap in on the plane (hoo!) and found my way to the International Terminal with ease, and waited outside of customs for dovil. I had colored a "DOVIL! The Angry Gay Cop Vampires Are Here!" sign, and stood at the doorway ready to pounce. Quick side note: many, many handsome men from Australia and New Zealand poured out and I almost left my life just to look and listen to them. GUH. About 20 of them were carrying their kyacks. Rugged, 6' 4", broad shoulders, weathered, handsome faces... and the accent. GAH. A pretty girl looked at me nervously and after a second I bounced, hollered DOVIL! And bear-hugged her, as is the Stoney way.

Side note: you know how you have an idea of how people's LJ names are pronounced? You're doing it wrong. It's DOOOO-vil. WHO. KNEW. DOOOOvil. From now on, I'd like you to note that mine is: STAHN-ooo-EEE. We found our way to the hotel shuttle, had an OBNOXIOUS elderly couple make disparaging remarks about Kiwis (!!) and I felt the need to make a comment about rude old people who are piss-poor ambassadors to the U.S. Welcome to my country. *headdesk*

After a bite of lunch we checked in to our hotel (lovely, thank you again, Mr. S) and got settled in. She brought me liquor! AND CHOCOLATE! Clearly, one of my liver lobes has her name on it, should the need arise. A phone call to _divya_ to arrange a meet-up, and we settled in for a good bout of bare-knuckle boxing. SOMEONE had to be the alpha-dog in the room. I made sure to give her two black eyes so she'd be balanced in appearance. I'm nice like that.

For those of you who have met folks off LJ, you know how it takes a bit to get comfortable with a new person? To get the rhythm of their speak, their comfort level, etc? It takes a bit for you to drop your defenses, and be relaxed? Well, apparently, Dovil has no inhibitions and was able to just get completely naked right there and start yodeling. Which was odd at first, but became incredibly soothing when she began her rhythmic gymnastics. D? Moves like a CAT. Simply grace personified.

Can you tell we had fun??? She's just LOVELY! A very handsome girl, chestnut hair in a cute, flippy hair style, blue eyes to rival James Marsters, gorgeous, warm smile - you see it a lot - and is the sort that becomes more handsome with age. Did I mention funny? And a QUIET voice. Seriously. I asked her to repeat herself a bunch (sorry! You're so demure!). Clever, friendly, ready for anything... Basically: she's perfect.

_divya_ met us outside the hotel and we tooled over to her fave little bar and proceeded to drink. And gab. And giggle. And I couldn't help it, but Di has hair to her WAIST! I couldn't stand it anymore, so I informed her I would be touching it. Ha! And. I. Did. Di: she's wee!!! Okay, not Wee!Spike proportions, but petite and thin limbed and long necked and haired... Huh? Yeah. GORGEOUS smile - huge! Light up the room smile! But filled to the brim with the rich taste of snark. Lurvely. Great sense of humor. We headed back to the hotel after I had... 5 Cosmos? I think. Then drank this concotion Dovil had with (okay, confession time: I bought the wrong kind of coke as we left the bar: Cherry Coke. I will blame this, later.) a special vodka from New Zealand, infused with Feijoa? Let's just say that THAT, mixed with cherry Coke, on top of several Cosmos, three hours sleep, and no dinner...

Oh! Let's go eat. Three buzzed women stumble into Lori's Diner (give her the American experience, yeah?) And I proceed straight to the bathroom and throw up. Oh, dear god. I've done the unspeakable. I... oh god. Sooooo embarrased. PUBLIC! In front of people!! Although, at a later time, while talking to crazydiamondsue on the phone, it was said that I had an Audrey Hepburn-quality about my gracefully sinking to my knees and taking care of business. kill me now.

Dovil (are you saying doooovil?) is the girl that held my hair. And put a glass of water next to the bed. And a trashbin. *is shamed to BONES* But. My constitution is strong, and after a good night's sleep and a shower and bleach... Right as rain in the morning.

Full day of wandering about San Francisco. Walked from Union Square to Fisherman's warf, saw all of the tourists spots, ate good food, laughed, heard about her father's stint as a zoo keeper (she's snuggled a baby orangutan!!) and just thoroughly enjoyed myself. One strange thing about the tourist section of SF: STATUARY. As in, to be purchased. Every 20 feet was a store selling statues. The hell?? Especially the Three Leaping Dolphins. With spouts for what we foolishly believed was for water, but after talking it out, realised they were secret gun turrets. EXCELLENT security device, I'd say. After seeing all of the Fine Art Shops along the wharf with Leaping Dolphins... if a museum doesn't have the gun-fish, I'm frankly not interested.

That night we met up with _divya_ again to see a comedy act. AHAHAHAHA!!! Dana Gould, of The Simpsons and stand-up fame, and Paul Provenza of The Aristocrats, performed. Dana Gould got off one of the best jokes I've heard in a long time, about moving to SF, and his New England father threatening him if he "turned gay." Good lord. D and I were cracking up over that one up until I left back home on Sunday. We walked home from the club, happy, laughing, and Divya gave us an excellent tour of her town. Hung out a little in the hotel room - watched Saturday Night Live (Dovil has never seen it! I'm glad it had some funny bits) - then time for sleeeeeeeep.

Most of Sunday was spent with Dovil and I curled up in our comfy beds laughing about fandom, squicks, remembering all the things that made us cry in Angel and Buffy, etc. etc. We did outline a story we're thinking of writing together when she gets home at the end of the week. I'll just say it involved sea horses and leave it at that. It'll be a heartwarming story of two plucky little vampire-sea horses in love. Illustrated, of course. I don't know when I've laughed so hard. SHE IS MY MUSE!!! And I just used a word I loathe. SHE IS MY INSPIRATION! Not unlike Jesus. Or a carrot dangled in front of me.

Quick wander about SF one last time, a little graffiti (we did! We wrote Stoney Puked Here - dovil's, and Dovil Was Here! - me - on a construction panel. She even drew a little pool of sick. Nice. Good lord, bitch. She's just AWFUL. AWFUL!!! Hahaha.) and then the shuttle whisked me to the airport.

It was just a fantastic trip, and I'm saying, "brilliant!" all the time now, a la D. Weather was FANTASTIC, the homeless were in full force, and the smell of piss was heartwarming. Ah, San Frannigan... I ♥ you.

Once she gets back home, and I get final approval on pics, I'll post them. I'm just that kind of friend. :-D HI!!! How are all of you????

Comments

[lynnenne]

SOMEONE had to be the alpha-dog in the room. I made sure to give her two black eyes so she'd be balanced in appearance. I'm nice like that.

You are so Angelus OMG. *fears you, yet laughs behind your back*

You are funny funny funny. Great report. I felt like I was there with Dovil, holding your hair. Can't wait to read about the seahorses!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

WE HAD SO MUCH FUN!!! I wasn't sure if that was coming through... :-D

LYNNE!! You were specifically mentioned, smiles and coos followed. And even though Doo-vil (making sure you don't revert back) is a bit taller than me, she is the Spike to my Angelus in that not even a little bit way.

What? I am STILL giddy. Hi!!! *hugs you all over, and I DO mean ALL OVER*

[lynnenne]

You guys talked about me? *beams* I feel special. I am so glad you had a fun time! Stop feeling me up or I will not get any work done today. *moans, leans into the touching*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

How are you going to get work done with all this tension in your shoulders? *moves behind you, works a knot under your shoulder blade, my breath tickling your neck behind your ear*

WE DID. We mentioned the loverly YOU. *loves*

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

Jealous.
And Spike would so make a great seahorse.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

He would make the most LOVELY seahorse in the ocean! With slicked-back bleached hair!

Aw... *pets the pretty seahorse listening to Johnny Rotten*

[sweptawaybayou.livejournal.com]

lmao!!

I *so* want to party with you someday, babe. And isn't Di just the bestest? So glad you had a wonderful time and so very, very glad you're back home, safe and somewhat sound.

*smooches*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

If by sound you mean all my limbs, yes. Brain? Not a chance.

Di is terrific! *loves the WOILD*

*massages oils into your feet, cooks you on medium* Mmm, mmm. Tasty.

[hellziggy.livejournal.com]

Stoney, if you didn't have Mr. Stoney, and I didn't have hellbob (and that affair that I will have with teh Marsters) I would so marry you in a heartbeat just for your LJ cut tag text!
Sounds like a fabulous weekend!
Now stick around here to amuse us instead of running back to your celebrity crack!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I LOVE THE CUT TAG TEXT. Soooo many opportunities to lure people into DOOM.

We had a great time, I'm still happy and bouncy as I type!

(And I promise to do both. JEEZ.) :-D

[allegraconbrio.livejournal.com]

Yahooo! Stoney and Dovil take on San Fran and the city survives! WHEE.

And you had a fab time. Brilliant.

Re: sidenote. I always hear your name with a brogue when I read it. Kinda sounds line "stern eee" Heeee. Doooovil.

I am good, wonderful and all that. *hugs you* Welcome back, intrepid traveller.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hee!! I can talk with a Brogue! Di and Dooooovil got a taste of it. I taped them to chairs and did impressions until their minds snapped.

It was easier to make them go where I wanted that way.

I am glad you are well! LIFE IS FINE. *beams and figgin' HUGS you*

(my maiden name is Featherstone, so that's where "Stoney" comes from, FYI. The Brits I know proniunced it: Featherstun. But I'm Texan, so add a tiny drawl: Stoeh-nee. But I think I like your way better! Ach! Sure and beggorah! I dinna ken there were so many ways to say it!)

[allegraconbrio.livejournal.com]

ach, the history of the Stoney...ver, ver good. ;)

Annnnd, I am even better with the giggling and laughing since reading that Nic Cage and his wife named their newborn son after Superman. Kal-el Coppola Cage. I kid you not. Snerrrrrrk.

Life is indeed fine. Laughter, celebrity boggle and a sunny day. *grins*

[serenelystrange.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you had so much fun! Cant wait to see the pictures, :)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I did! WHEEEE!!!

*waits for Dovil to get to a computer so I can get approval....*

[serenelystrange.livejournal.com]

Lol, Dooovil! I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one, :) *waits anxiously to see all the pics*

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

I forgot about Dovil's Audrey Hepburn comparison! I think I made a lame Holly Go-pukely joke. *wince* I wasn't in funny mode when you phoned!!!

Dude. Cherry Coke. That's enough to make one heave. So glad you had fun and didn't need bail. Di and Dovil both sound amazing - already knew you were.

You are now expected to use Dovil's accent any time we speak. I attempted to do it for my friend Larry and sounded more Hugh Grant.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Cherry Coke. With special infused flavored vodka. WRONG. That is not "two great tastes that taste great together."

Hugh Grant? Were you stuttering? Was your shirt wet?

[marlo.livejournal.com]

That sounds faaaaaaaaabulous! Especially the puking part! ;)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, god. See? THIS. This is why you don't partake, yis?

(i don't throw up! I barely get DRUNK! Seriously. FLUKE. A puke fluke.)

Aside from that, the city was wonderful, the friends were divine, and I had excellent and affordable sushi, as well as other foodstuffs. And friends! And comfortable lodging! All good. (Minus one. Hee!)

YOU ARE ALMOST GONE! Holy crap, are you starting to freak out about your big trip? Ready to go? Everything you need??? *is living vicariously through you*

[marlo.livejournal.com]

:)))))

I leave on Wednesday. OMG. I need to go to the bank today. I'm pretty well packed. HOLEE SHIT is my backpack gonna be full. And heavy! I may have to leave a few things behind.

So yes, starting to freak out a little bit!

[kaydee23.livejournal.com]

When do we get the real report, you drunken sod???

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

THAT IS THE REAL REPORT!!

There was - shockingly - no jail time.

Ah, there's always my future trip to New Zealand...

[kaydee23.livejournal.com]

You really threw up all that expensive liquor? :shakes head:

Next time, it sounds like there will be jail time!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*pulls blanket up over face* I did.

I NEVER do that. Dude, I never get DRUNK. And... I wasn't really drunk. No staggering, blurred vision, loss of control...

We walked into the diner, and I just got up calmly, walked back to the bathroom and... buick. *is so shamed*

[kaydee23.livejournal.com]

It was probably nerves, travel, excitement, plus a little more booze than your used to.

I don't throw up any more, but in my past, I threw up a plenty. :yep:

Once I threw up at a Halloween party in the middle of the party in the middle of the room. In front of lots and lots of people. Really. I was probably 20 at the time. It was some scary punch with Everclear in it and it was pink soooooooooooo.... :yep:

It was a party that lasted an entire weekend waaaaaaaaaaaay out in the country outside of Fort Worth. There were at least one hundred people there. Nobody even cared. I didn't either. :snort:

Someone cleaned it up, and the party continued. I stopped drinking at the party of course, but still. I had very little to zero shame. :shrugs:

As my late mother used to say, "You're only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough!"

Sounds like you had lots of fun.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

O_O

"a little more booze than you're used to."

Oh, you did NOT just say that to me. HAHAHAHAHA!! You are just adorable. Really, it was from not eating dinner, only having one meal that whole day, being dehydrated from travel (I sucked down water allll weekend), and not getting any sleep.

Not to mention the evil cherry Coke. It's POISON.

*rubs your back and gives you Saltines in solidairity for the ralphing*

[kaydee23.livejournal.com]

I like diet cherry coke, but I wouldn't party with it. I drink beer, wine, and margaritas now. Nothing else. Nothing else.

Houston is so humid and everywhere else on the planet is so dry, whenever I travel I nearly always get laryngitis and an upper respiratory infection.

I went to that Buffy last August in Oakland, and I totally lost my voice after I'd been in Oakland for about 6 hours. It was horrible. I carried a gallon jug of water with me the whole weekend.

It's hard to get meals straight and eaten the way you're supposed to when you're traveling. I always end up with Montezuma's revenge or constipated. I need to be out of town for about a month before my stomach gets used to the new place, new water, new food, new schedule, and new weather.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

Welcome back!! Can't wait to see the pictures! So, Doooo-vil, eh? I *have* been saying it all wrong. I just found out how to pronounce caoilainn (key-lynn), so I'll add this to my mental list.

I find cherry coke to be abominable without adding a single thing to it. Vanilla coke, *much* better!

I'm sure San Frannigan will never forget you or Dovil.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heee! Oh, we had so much fun. Such a great city, it's hard not to enjoy yourself, you know?

*dances you*

[likeadeuce.livejournal.com]

sounds awesome!

seriously, though, how can two people as funny as the two of you need to go to a COMEDY SHOW. Did the room just spontaneously combust from the funny?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heee! Oh, man, Dana Gould was hilarious. His set was just perfect, start to finish.

We were rolling in our seats. GOOD TIMES.

[greenstone-j.livejournal.com]

LMAO...that sounds like you had the greatest time!! (and don't worry about the vomit thing, you have no idea how used it us kiwis are) and please send the cute guys back...cause I can't find them!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA!! That is EXACTLY what she said.

I cannot stress how gorgeous these 20 men (20!! All beautiful and rugged with KYACKS!) were.

Weak-kneed, in the literal sense. *hoards*

[julissak01.livejournal.com]

Bwah! *loffs on you and Dooovil* Is it seriously pronounced like that? And are you honestly a STAHN-ooo-EEE? Heee.

Because I, my good woman, am a Juh-LIS-AH. *g*

OMG, post the pics soon so I can point and laugh and cackle madly, 'k?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

POINT AND LAUGH?? Ahem. We are quite lovely, and did not take any pictures of drunken revelry, I thank you.

Oh, I was joking about my name. Stoh-ney. Like a stone. Eee.

:-D

[bisi.livejournal.com]

Sounds wonderful. Glad you two had a good time, looking forward to the pics.
Can't beat vomit for a bonding experience...

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*hides under desk*

Not my preferred bonding experience... Fortunatly the rest of the visit was terrific and fun. She's just wonderful to talk and hang out with. And _divya_ is hilarious and snarky. GOOD TIMES.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_divya_/]

Okay, reading this was the best flashback EVER. Your recollections are scarily accurate; Dooooo-vil is perfect, and I am snarky and wee! ::rides in your pocket::

::pets:: You were so sweet and unnecessarily apologetic about being sick! And omg, we totally just felt so badly for you, because you were clearly not drunk, and the universe MOCKED you by taking you straight from YAY to OMG SICK. It's not right, honey!

And in conclusion, "if ya gonna come back quee-ah, don't come back at all".

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Eeee!! *buys a celebrity dog-carrier - sticks you in and feeds you treats* You, my dear, are. A. DELIGHT. [/James Lipton] SCRUMTRILESCENT.

And thank you! I wasn't drunk! SERIOUSLY! I just... my body hit the Red Reject Button. Dude. *cowers*

And Hahahahahahaha!! *cries, pumps three cocks into my mouth, fondles balls randomly, pumps middle finger up and in* HEE HEE!!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_divya_/]

You, my dear, are. A. DELIGHT. [/James Lipton] SCRUMTRILESCENT.

OMFG, that was awesome! Heeee, most fun walk through North Beach ever!

*cries, pumps three cocks into my mouth, fondles balls randomly, pumps middle finger up and in*

"Dana... your dad's been dead for three years."

HEE.

[elcazavampiros.livejournal.com]

Sooo glad you had a good time. I know how shy you are. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to come out of your shell.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahaha!! Yeah, I had a hard time talking to everyone, serious. Heee! I kept apologizing for NOT shutting up.

But then, you know me, so why am I explaining this to you? Hee!

CAZA! You're computerized now! WHEEEE!

[somecandytalkin.livejournal.com]

Heh:) Welcome back, Stoney, Stoney, Stonay. I'm so glad you had a great, Frantastic time, dahrlink! Call me! Or ya wanna chat a bit tonight? You around? I'm working again this week, but I'll be online this evening for a while and I just reinstalled my dang MSN.

[mskakaako.livejournal.com]

Welcome back! Sounds like a fabu time was had by all.

Also, thanks for the heads up about the pronounciation. DOOOOOOvil!!!

Can't wait to see the pics!

Hahah! I'm not even pukey in my condition. Heehee.