Mixed Bag and picspam!

[stoney321]

First, today is my sister's birthday. She's 87. HA HA HA!! Oh, MAN. We all suffer get reminded constantly about her birthday, *cough* it MUST BE CELEBRATED, OMG. Happy b-day, Tiff.

NOW. I have been specifically avoiding the latest Battle to the Death about women, men, and the evil wrought online in the name of smut/fantasy/whatever. Mainly because I have seen the light with kerfuffles. The Jossverse don't know NOTHING about wank. Know who does? Harry Potter fandom. Oh my GOD. They are wank-tastic. Best thing read on journalfen yesterday (entrenous88 already got this from me, sorry):

I'm thinking of joining the HP fandom.
"Hello I'm new here. I like HP."
Hello, new fan. Who is your favorite character?
"Wank."

HP/Wank is totally my new OTP. And to give you a laugh, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD/ALLAH/CHEESECAKE, read this. This may be old news to many of you, but it NEVER gets old. (Summaries from the best of the worst HP fics on FF.net. Señor Draco. That alone tells you everything. Hurry! I'll still be here. Ahahahaha!!! TEARS of laughter.) And how much do I love my cherusha for always pointing me to the best things? Sooooo much!!



Okay, I suck when it comes to a) taking pictures, b) getting said pictures developed, c) there is no Dana, only Zool. Anyone? Wh ya gonna call?

These are pics from our summer vacation in Florida. Sugar sand beaches. NICE. First up is the view from our hotel. Awesome balcony right on the beach, on a corner, so no nosy neighbors next to us. Unadulterated view of the beach and water. *cough* And the college-aged surfer boys who set up the chairs and umbrellas every morning while I sipped my coffee. What? TANNED DARK SKIN AND FLOPPY HAIR. Guh.



In lieu of neighbors, we had the Gulfarium (you have to say that like Planeh-arium from South Park) to our left. Isn't it EXCITING? People flocked here. To see birds. That were on the beach already. Okay. They did have seals inside, and they'd come out at night, so that was fun to watch. Gulf-arium.



This is a family pic (omg - Mr. S is wearing his HORRIBLE Tony Soprano shirt that I hate, do not hold it against him! Normally he is Brooks Brothers and finery!) at a beach-side restaurant where everything was fried. UGH. Just what you want on a hot day. BUT. Right after we took this pic (the last on the roll of film) 10 PIRATE SHIPS WENT PAST. I am NOT exaggerating. It's a huge thing every year. It's AWESOME. I'll get pics next year. PIRATE SHIPS!!! My son about passed out. Wimp.



Here's a pic from mother's day with my mother in law. HERE SHE IS. Looking overjoyed as always to be in my presence. Anyone who makes the comparison of a female Roger Ebert gets my undying love and possibly a cash prize. I think she may have pulled out a wet-nap to wipe her arm from where I touched her. Or scrubbed furiously in the bathroom. I can't remember. Ah, love. I'm in charge of the home she ends up in. She hasn't figured that part out yet.



And finally, the kids after I have told them we're selling them all for scientific experiments. Just got too expensive. Nope, sorry. Had to be done. Love you all, but... Well. Hurry up! Pack your things. *insert backflipping nuns and musical number here *



That's the ER haircut we had to give The Boy when he thought it would be fun to play with dad's razor and his bangs. I'm looking forward to blackmailing him in HS with that pic. And Emily! SHE IS EVIL!! She's like CHUCKY!! (that's the middle kid, for those not playing along at home.)

HAVE FUN TO DAY!! I mean, look at Spock! He is OVERJOYED!! is it wrong that I never ever get tired of my own mood theme? Is that narcissistic? I DECLARE TODAY A DAY OF FUNNEH AND JOY AND SILLINESS. Spread the word. *muwah!*

Comments

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

Spock *is* overjoyed! His joy holds no bounds!

OMG - you're gorgeous in the family pic!!! I mean, I know what you look like, but now everyone knows your beauty!!! (And you look really, really good for a beach vacation with sand and wind and fried clams. Just sayin'.)

The evil kids pic wins hands down.

Your mother-in-law sort of looks like mine. Eep! Okay, now Caza's gonna bitch slap me for the backhanded "female Roger Ebert thing." *cough*

I was metariffic last night - I got fb on my one and only f/f slash at the same time I got random fb for "Rodeo." See? I don't have to write new stuff - I just need to whore my old stuff around the 'net looking for new takers. All. About. Me.

Ahem. My nails look like shit. OMG! You know what today is????

Office Thanksgiving Potluck Day!!!

Yessssss. Also, Caza got out of the shower (naked! whoo!) singing "Walk Through the Fire," and it's been stuck in my head since. I heart you - oh, and my phone died yesterday, but I'm sure you're all like, "Well, duh!"

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

SUE!!!!!!

(and hush.)
(pays you your monthly fee)

ROGER EBERT. Can you see it? Am I just a fucking bitch? Hahahaha!! Of COURSE you got fb for your smut. You give good smut. Speaking of... I'm stuck on my thing with the what and the them? Imma go run and clear my head and see if I can't make them do what I want and send it to you.

FRIED CLAMS. In 90 degree heat. YUM? Ugh, and the fruity drinks made from mix. We got smart and went to the market and cooked in our suite. And bought our own alcohol. WAY TO GO, us.

You gonna drink blueberry wine and get yer nails did? WHAT DID YOU MAKE FOR TODAY? (be strong! Small bites! Talk a lot! Circulate in the room!)

*sings "And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire... the ring of fire."*

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

Spock needs to settle down before he dances right out of your icon. ::looks stern::

OMG! Those summaries! I had to stop reading before I burst a blood vessel laughing. I got about half way.

OMG! Stoney famliy cutness! And your mother in law, wow. ::goes to look at Roger Ebert's website:: :::jaw drops:: Whoaaaaaaaa.

::has nothing more witty to say as the house is too frikkin' cold and I need to put up these shrink wrap thingies on the windows::

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I KNOW!!!! Okay, so I'm not just a bitter daughter in law? I am a HORRIBLE PERSON. Hee hee.

Shrink wrap thingies? OMG it is 70 something degrees today! I AM SICK OF NON-SEASONAL WEATHER.

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

Lilly is a pureblood while her sister is a squid.

::Spock bursts into hysterics::

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHA!! Aren't they AWESOME? Oh my GOD, reading that list is the best antidote to a bad day EVAH!

[lynnenne]

Okay, I already knew that you and your hubby were both hot. So it makes sense that your kids would be beautiful, too. But OMG SO ADORABLE! *squishes them*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*sends you your monthly fee*

I LOVE MY KIDS! okay, Emily just made me cry. She took me by the hand, sat me down and "did my hair" gave me a kiss and told me she loved me. Ahhhh!! See what I mean about evil? SHE IS EVIL. I am an automatron and I have no feelings!!

*resolve cracks - Nooo!*

[luvs-phoenix.livejournal.com]

Cuteeeeeeeeeeeee kids!

LOL at MIL. My first one was like that. God we had such mutual dislike that the only way I could take our "visits" was through the grace of our local dealer and some long walks with great weed.

*good times*

BTW, new to the HP fandom and eating it up. Clicked on the link you posted and OMG how fucking funny is that! I remember reading about a group of people who were such Hermione freaks that they've boycotted the movies and books now because she is sooooooo seriously neglected.

Brahaha!

Personally I want to see more of Malfoy and his tortured personality so we can all pet him, feed him cookies and turn him to the light side.

;)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha!! Oh, the blessing of herbs. Heh.

Man, I am SOOOO over Malfoy, I can't begin to tell you. But then, I soaked up every single fic I could over the past two years and just reached my limit. It's all about Ron for me. I KNOW. I know. I'm a firm believer in nice guys finishing last.

And that link is a SAVING GRACE on a bad day.

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

You are so pretty! Mr. Stoney is so handsome! The kids are scrumptious!!!!!

And can I say that I think as far as your MiL and Roger Ebert are concerned, Roger Ebert is...a little...prettier...

*runs like hell and prays to god Mr. Stoney never reads that*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha!!! OMG. Mr. S thinks his mother is crazy, mainly because she is, so DO NOT WORRY. (totally hides this just in case.)

The cheerins! Oh, that Morgan is going to give us trouble. She's SO funny and silly and tomboyish and pretty and cool. I have cool kids! I never in a million years thought I'd get some. *snuggles them babies TIGHT!*

::requisite summary executions icon::

[cherusha.livejournal.com]

My favorites from the new list (http://www.livejournal.com/users/mctabby/351707.html):

Harry Potter has been accepted into the School of American Ballet. He is soon immersed into the competitive field of professional dancing and sensual subculture of the performing arts.

This brings back horrible memories of riverdancing Harry. And it just gets worse from there:

All of his prior judges had. Just who was this boy who danced so naturally, perfectly channeling the mood of the music? They watched, entranced as he became the physical manifestation of the music. He was emotion. He was pensiveness. He was sadness. He was dream-like. He was joy. The stage was the one place Harry could be free of his worries, of his memories, of his wishes, of his nightmares, and just be. It was liberating. It was intoxicating. It was addictive, this freedom that ironically, detached him from emotions, yet allowed him to convey that of the piece flawlessly. And as soon as the song finished, his face, strangely beautiful, returned to the blank canvas it was before the judge pressed play. This was his stage presence: a chameleon to the music. Offstage, he was a different being entirely.

Hmm, I think the riverdancing one still takes the cake, though.

Take care! The werecows are taking over the world! Or not.... the werecows are my third and last were-animal fic.

*dies*


P.S. Pretty family. Can I join them? (after we reunite Ebert with his twin sister, of course)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Okay, but I don't know if I can MARRY you, or adopt you. THIS MAY BE THE HARDEST DECISION I EVER MAKE.

More? You... you found MORE? You just bumped up to Platinum Level for Christmas.

*dies* RIVERDANCING. BALLET. I owe you a kidney or maybe just my undying love. You pick.

[beadbeauty.livejournal.com]

Ok whatever. It's all about me. It's MY birthday. You say it's your birthday? Well, we're gonna have a good time. Quit stealing my thunder, 'stoney'. Like those quotes? I even used my fingers. Someone asked me which finger is my favorite. I said Pinkies because they have power. They have the power to determine whether you're fancy or not. Just ask Patrick. The other fingers are the 'quote' fingers. I digress. It's my birthday. Are you suffering enjoying the day about ME?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I AM ON THE PHONE WITH YOU. IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU.

*gets a tattoo on my ASS with your name*
*so totally does NOT*
You are not the boss of me anymore.

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

What is up with all those umbrellas on the beach? *images the East Coast to be one dot of umbrella after another*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is the Gulf side (hence the Gulf-arium next door)

And the umbrellas? Uh... shade?

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

The Jossverse don't know NOTHING about wank. Know who does? Harry Potter fandom.

Brought to you by This Wank Tastes Great.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hee!

We've secretly switched your reading pleasure with Wank™. Let's see if anyone notices...

[zyrya]

I was going to post about those HP summaries, but then I saw the gorgeousness that is you, and swooning ensued, and then I read the MIL stuff ... the hell? What sort of psychiatric disorder causes someone to not luff you and cuddle you and steal you away from Mr Stoney so there can be crazy girls' fun? She's bonkers. And then I was freaked by the Smallest Stoney, who is truly, truly creepy. In that pic. Maybe elsewhere. Too scared to find out. Can't sleep, Emily will eat me.

But back to the HP summaries ... bwahaha! omg so scary. Not as scary as Emily, obviously, or as scary as whatever kerfuffle is brewing out of my reach, but plenty scary! My random favourite:
:It gets better...trust me...just give it a read. If you REALLY hate it, then you can stop."

I hate it! I hate it already and I don't even know where to find the fic. Mummy, can we stop now?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*sends you money*

EMILY! What's creepy is how freaking pixie-ish she is until she makes an EVIL face. GAH! Heh heh.

MIL is filled with disdain for me, and has been since she found out (in the same day, thanks, honey) that her "Precious Lamb" had a) gotten a divorce and was just getting around to telling her, and b) had taken up with a divorcee' (me) who had *gasp!* children.

Was I the reason for the first marriage's break down? She'll always believe so, even though I was girlfriend number 3 after his split. I see. Also? I discipline my children and that is Wrong, because children are naturally Good and Righteous and make no Errors. Riiiiight. (I'm not allowed to discipline my kids in her house, her orders. Which is why I do not GO to her house, because excuse me? I'm the mother, here.)

Aren't those sooooo bad (great)??? OMG Ill tel u reight now i cannt spel but plzzzzz review! HAHAHAHA!! No.

*snuggles and cuddles and has girls day with YOU and wishes for a mommy who would LOOOOOVE MEEEEEE*

[angstpuppy.livejournal.com]

Oh, lordy. The. Summaries. Are. Eating. My. Brain. Heee, I didn't even get a quarter of the way down the list yet. I have a weak bladder. It's not pretty. But I'm in a much better mood now, if slightly damp.

Your MIL, :shiver: that's kinda...skeery. My first MIL totally believed that I had given birth to my baby boy to sacrifice him to Satan. I fear for his genetic make up, I really do. Course I told them satanists "I screamed in childbirth for umptyleven hours with this child, get your own sacrifice, this one's mine!" Eh...hem. I adore my current Mom-in-law, she giveth houses and cars and the like. She get to go to the good home.
And in honor of your pretty pictures, I bring you the puppy icon once more! It's Vincent from Lost. I'm waiting for his backstory. I'm sure it's tragic and tear jerking. It has to be better than Kate's....

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I LOVE VINCENT! Thanks for using the puppers pic.

Oh, for a MIL like that... I have a great step-mom that I love, so I have that, at least.

(My first MIL was a class A bitch. Oh, she was just a terrible person. Golddigger, and marked her territory reeeal good around that family - to the point where none of them know my older two kids, and have nothing to do with them. NICE. And she used to buy me mumus for presents, and that was when I was running 8 miles a day and working out in the gym 4 days a week! MUMUS. I am not exaggerating. WOW. haha! SO many great stories spawned from my pain... Hee hee!)

[kaydee23.livejournal.com]

What do you have against Roger Ebert?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

OOOOOOUUUUUUUWUCH.

Friggin' BURN.

[kaydee23.livejournal.com]

You didn't mention your other daughter's name. Is that why she looks so pissed?

Your family's very cute, by the way. Except the kids do look pissed off.

If only you and your husband had remembered to put one of those little rubber thingies on the end of his willie.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

That's becaue I mentioned it up above - middle number two is Morgan.

And I've been trying to figure out what the joke you intended for the last line was - I know you were trying to be funny, really, I get that much - but hopefully you know I'm joking when I say Emily (the baby) is evil? And that she's my precious little woobie? And my husband's only biological child?

Because in case not, yeah. I joke about my kids being punks, but they're all loved by their momma big time. And my husband would freak the hell out if he thought I was talking about family planning on line or something...

;)

[smashsc.livejournal.com]

Pictures are lovely as usual but I need to comment on "He-Man singing Four Non-Blondes." WTF? You need to share that.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

ASH. I have posted this before! I will HAPPILY post it again, because it is so damn crack-tastic, I can't stand it.

http://www.whoomp.com/articles/163/1/He-Man-does-4-non-blondes

(those pics were a few days after we saw you!)

I think your great mood from yesterday bled over to me. Hooray!

[anelith.livejournal.com]

I am laughing so *hard* at the HP Summary Executions! Oh, that one is a KEEPER. I will revisit it often, whenever I'm in need of a pick-me-up. I'll be bursting out into spontaneous giggles for the next 24 hours, I think. Hee! There goes another one...

Fantabulous pictures! And it's kind of nice to save them up for now, when it's all cold and wet and gray today. I'll look at them instead of out my window, much better view. You all look so happy, warm, and relaxed. The kids are so funny with the grumpy looks! Did you tell them to give you their best "grrr" faces? (Of course your MIL didn't have to try. Her face looks sour even when she's smiling.)

I'm going to send Tiffany a Happy Birthday email, thanks for letting us know!

[somecandytalkin.livejournal.com]

Glad you're still rockin' to the He-Man link. 'TIS cracktastic!

Great PICS!

Also, hooray for the good moodage. It's a beautiful, beautiful day today!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I LOVE you for sending me that link. It is STILL cracking me up. The dance moves!!

It is beautiful but it is WINDY! BAH. But sunny!! And I got to Abuela's for deener tonight. YUM!

The sugar sand beaches! Absolutely stunning. And the water is perfectly turquoise! And not many people because the fools all go to the Keys!

[paynbow.livejournal.com]

Female Roger Ebert? BWAH! Totally! I love the pics! Florida is so beautiful. But, deep fried everything? Ick.

As for the HP wank...OMG.

Dewey is an American. Dewey is Ten. Dewey is going to Hogwarts because he is also Eleven.

Five years after the final battle, Harry is the star cellist of the London Philharmonic.

And my favorite...

Forever he painted his world in shades of grey, that color even more bleak and haunting that the sound of his beautiful, horrible music. Forever this grey surrounded him, so wretched, so despairing, and yet so wholly, horrifyingly, breathtakingly him. Draco was grey, in every sense of the word, from his mood, to his physicality, deep in his soul. The color could not be uprooted, so deeply was it entrenched in the muddy soil of his past life, thriving in the darkness that had, and maybe still now, consumed him, and growing to be a creeper so large and thorny that he was caged inside of it, perhaps inescapably.

Oh, wow. Can you feel the special pain? SPECIAL PAIN!!! If that kid was any more emo he'd talk in a nasal british accent and cut himself to Sarah Mclachlan. too far?...heh

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Yes, Grey!Draco is sew a kut0r. *rocks to the pain of Depeche Mode*

Hahahaha!! I live to pass on the funny.

[crayonbreakygal.livejournal.com]

Oh, pretty, shiny hair.

Can your kids come play with mine? I just love their expressions.

I read the HP list. My fav was the definition of a summary.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HA HA!! I must have skipped over the definition of a summary! If you scroll up to my thread with Cherusha, she linked to the latest one on McTabby's LJ. There's... 34 in all?

YOU WILL NEVER BE BORED!!

*bundles our kids up, sends them outside and pours US a drink!*

[ropo.livejournal.com]

This is not a story for the faint of heart, nor the happy in spirit. But for those who are able to understand what it means to be hurt...to watch as a girl's spirit is shattered like glass upon concrete. Watch as she melts the young master's heart of ice, and watch as she helps him heal. She has no name, but his...is Señor Draco.

OH. MY. DEAR. SWEET. JESUSANDGOD.

Draco corners Ginny with a muffin cause he doesn't think she's eating right, Ginny refuses to eat it... romance develops.

Although this might be better. *G* Ginny/Muffin smut. Mmmmmm.

And your family is so cute. Except the teensy evil one who's cuteslashevil. (Oh, and your M-i-L.)

[hellziggy.livejournal.com]

I ♥ your Spock mood theme!
I'm always disappointed when it is one of the pictures different than this one.

And you is bee-you-tee-full! Your Eberty MIL must be smokin' the crack if she doesn't love you like we do!