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stoney321In honor of a new LJ buddy being raised in a Pentecostal environment, I give you:
MY LIFE AS TOLD BY THE REVEREND BILLY BOB (Jimmy Joe is just not "Christ" enough, you know?)
And Lo, I did go forth unto the doctor this morning, and he did look unto mine eye with a rod that giveth light, as our Lord Jesus doth give us light. And there was the checking of the strength of my sinews and yea, of mine bone. And when mine knees did creak unto him, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
And he placed his hands upon my knee and spake unto the heavens for the demons that afflict them to come out! He spake forth saying, the power of Christ (yea, the Alpha and the Omega) compels you!
And the demons that doth reside unto mine knees spake unto him with a hissing, we are many. We are Legion and we will not give up these knees. We take divers pleasure with the destruction of this place that was once a temple unto the moving swiftly forward, yea and it was called running. But she shall run no more.
GET THEE HENCE, DEMON! Dost thou not know that I am the mouthpiece of the Lord, our God and Savior? Thou shalt not afflict the knees of his child henceforth!
Now, if my doctor's visits went like THAT, I'd go more. Instead, I get to fill out FORMS!! Whee!! And they all have the same info on it, but just slightly different. Why can't they ask all of the questions on ONE sheet (make it a long one!) instead of me filling out the same info on four different papers?
Now, I have nothing in life to complain about, but then, were would my fun come from? Ridiculing things is where the fun comes in. And if you don't like it, Ike'll make a comeback and slap some sense into yo ass. Pain medication is fun!
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-31 11:06 am (UTC)and yay!medication!
Hey! My response is longer than your post!
Date: 2004-08-31 11:48 am (UTC)Do you already know about RestrictedSection.org? I'm reading a great (long) story about R/Hr on fanfiction.net (cause checkmated.com is down) called "The Price of Love." Cause I'm a big, sappy dork. Happy now?
I shall deliver unto you the pestilence brought upon the MUD people. And locusts and fire (say far) shall rain down upon the wicked and hom'sex'shuls.
run away! run away! hahahaha
Date: 2004-08-31 12:36 pm (UTC)far, as in "mah house is own far!"? damn southern roots.
hom'sex'shuls <----is that jewish? heehee.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-31 12:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-31 01:19 pm (UTC)You know, we may not only be frightening similiar in spirit, faith (dark slayer or belief? You make the call!) and humor, but we've also got a little Red River Rivalry goin', as I noticed when I reciprocally friended you. However, I went to the smart school (that'd be the third largest in Oklahoma!) and I know aught of sport other than it involves spherical objects, so we're probably okay.
I hate doctor paperwork - it should be smited! (Smoted? Smitten?) And...snerkle...we are legion! is usually my line to recruit other Buffy fans...
Whoo Hoo! Red River Shootout!
Date: 2004-08-31 02:21 pm (UTC)And you're off the death list: I did not attend UT. I left the best state in the union of get my learn on at U of Utah. Turned down a full ride at BYU because MORMONS are FREAKS!! But they live in a purdy spot...
And we ARE legion. Our new saying shall be: Trifle not with the things of Joss, for they are of great import!!
Re: Whoo Hoo! Red River Shootout!
Date: 2004-09-05 09:15 pm (UTC)Re: Whoo Hoo! Red River Shootout!
Date: 2004-09-05 09:34 pm (UTC)I was wearing some cut-off boy's jeans that my boyfriend had painted pop art all over, had little round wire-rimmed glasses, and a tight t-shirt popping the Ds, and I did NOT fit in. Ended up studying Microbiology at the U where they don't secretly believe in creationism.
Don't work!! 3 day weekend!! Come party with me! now tell me your tales of LDSism and leaving-itis. Dying to hear!
Re: Whoo Hoo! Red River Shootout!
Date: 2004-09-05 09:40 pm (UTC)I actually ought to get off soon, but if you want I'll email you more about it. I can also send you an essay I'm trying to publish about being-Mormon-in-the-Bible-belt, if you want?
Re: Whoo Hoo! Red River Shootout!
Date: 2004-09-05 09:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-31 06:51 pm (UTC)So the docs visit went okay? Loved the bible speak btw.
Angela
Rod and Todd would fit in
Date: 2004-08-31 09:12 pm (UTC)Doc visit was fine, just told me what I already know. I screwed my knees up years ago, (sprinter back in the day - trained running up and DOWN stairs. Bad idea for people with arthritis) and the drugs are losing their effectiveness. I'll get some purdy titanium bendies one of these days...
I'll be Bionic Woman!! T-Minus 30:48:57, 30:48:56.... Hooray for school!!!
Re: Rod and Todd would fit in
Date: 2004-09-01 08:40 am (UTC)and drugs are effective for only so long your body gets used to them. My mother has to change her painkillers meds every few years and they are usually for stronger ones.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-01 03:31 pm (UTC)are you related to Robert Mitchum by any chance?
Oh. My. God.
Date: 2004-09-01 04:54 pm (UTC)::holds your boobs:: (you know, 'cause they were heavy and making your shoulders ache. That's the kind of friend I am.)