Kinky Birthdays
May. 12th, 2006 08:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stoney321Two separate things, really. Happy birthday to the fantastic, dry-witted gardener and calf-raiser extraordinaire, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
julia_here. And for you, Julia, a joke from my friend Chrissy, who raises racing stock: All this week they've been breeding, which means my tough little friend (5'2", 98 pounds soaking wet) holds the mares still while the lust-crazed stallions come in for the approach. The owner of the facility had a friend along, to witness the "majesty." After a few well-places kicks from the mare to the stud's scrotum (torn and bleeding now, but does he care? Hell no.) the stud pulls his balls up inside and continues on with the Lord's Work. This friend sees only a rivulet of blood on the stud's hindquarters and no balls, and starts screaming hysterically, "She kicked his balls off!" Hahaha!! I thought you'd get a kick out of that. Badumbum ching! Have a fantastic day today, and may the kiddoes prune your roses and such for you, while you rest and sip something tasty.
Kinky. Kinky Friedman, that is. This is the loudmouth, cigar-chomping Jew running for Texas governor. This man makes me so happy, I can barely see straight. Funny, smart, a writer with a dirty, sassy mouth, he is the very epitome of what a Texan USED to be thought of, before Dubya bought a ranch and decided to play "cowboy." I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Connecticut? Y'all need to claim what's yours, 'cause he ain't ours.
So there's hope for Texas, folks. Those of us that remember Annette Strauss, who love Ann Richards (recovering from cancer, bless that sass-pot) and Molly Ivins, and for those of us that goddammit, LOVE TEXAS. I do. I am completely unapologetic about my love for my home state. Only state that was its own nation. Fought our own wars. Dammit, that had a gov'ner named Hogg, with a daughter with the first name Ima. How can you not love that history? For all the cowboys and ranchers and Good Old Boys that live here, there was a multi-year long debate over whether our state's motto should be "The Wildflower State" or "The Lone Star State." They're men, but dammit, they love their pretty land, too.
So back to Kinky Friedman. After getting almost four times the amount of petition signatures needed to run as an independent, he replied, "Thank God for all the dance halls and bars in this fine state." THAT is who I want. I love that he's comparing himself to Sam Houston, the last independent gov of Texas. (Sam Houston, by the way, had a ladies underwear fetish, and did opium, but that's neither here nor there.) Here's a link to the issues and his opinions. He just makes sense. And if you think the Texas governor race doesn't matter to you, because you live elsewhere, I'd like to point out the current administration. Enough people didn't care and look what happened? (Gah, and they're grooming Rick Perry - the guy that took over when Bush left for Washington - to be Presidential ready. That SOB makes me so sick, I don't know where to begin.)
I'm tired of the "religious right" Republicans who are wrong on almost everything. I'm tired of the "embrace everything, no matter how full of holes it may be" Democrats. Dammit, I'm Kinky. Let's hope the state of Texas is Kinky, too. :D Have a great day, folks! (And I'm gonna need a Kinky icon, I reckon.)
julia_here. And for you, Julia, a joke from my friend Chrissy, who raises racing stock: All this week they've been breeding, which means my tough little friend (5'2", 98 pounds soaking wet) holds the mares still while the lust-crazed stallions come in for the approach. The owner of the facility had a friend along, to witness the "majesty." After a few well-places kicks from the mare to the stud's scrotum (torn and bleeding now, but does he care? Hell no.) the stud pulls his balls up inside and continues on with the Lord's Work. This friend sees only a rivulet of blood on the stud's hindquarters and no balls, and starts screaming hysterically, "She kicked his balls off!" Hahaha!! I thought you'd get a kick out of that. Badumbum ching! Have a fantastic day today, and may the kiddoes prune your roses and such for you, while you rest and sip something tasty.Kinky. Kinky Friedman, that is. This is the loudmouth, cigar-chomping Jew running for Texas governor. This man makes me so happy, I can barely see straight. Funny, smart, a writer with a dirty, sassy mouth, he is the very epitome of what a Texan USED to be thought of, before Dubya bought a ranch and decided to play "cowboy." I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Connecticut? Y'all need to claim what's yours, 'cause he ain't ours.
So there's hope for Texas, folks. Those of us that remember Annette Strauss, who love Ann Richards (recovering from cancer, bless that sass-pot) and Molly Ivins, and for those of us that goddammit, LOVE TEXAS. I do. I am completely unapologetic about my love for my home state. Only state that was its own nation. Fought our own wars. Dammit, that had a gov'ner named Hogg, with a daughter with the first name Ima. How can you not love that history? For all the cowboys and ranchers and Good Old Boys that live here, there was a multi-year long debate over whether our state's motto should be "The Wildflower State" or "The Lone Star State." They're men, but dammit, they love their pretty land, too.
So back to Kinky Friedman. After getting almost four times the amount of petition signatures needed to run as an independent, he replied, "Thank God for all the dance halls and bars in this fine state." THAT is who I want. I love that he's comparing himself to Sam Houston, the last independent gov of Texas. (Sam Houston, by the way, had a ladies underwear fetish, and did opium, but that's neither here nor there.) Here's a link to the issues and his opinions. He just makes sense. And if you think the Texas governor race doesn't matter to you, because you live elsewhere, I'd like to point out the current administration. Enough people didn't care and look what happened? (Gah, and they're grooming Rick Perry - the guy that took over when Bush left for Washington - to be Presidential ready. That SOB makes me so sick, I don't know where to begin.)
I'm tired of the "religious right" Republicans who are wrong on almost everything. I'm tired of the "embrace everything, no matter how full of holes it may be" Democrats. Dammit, I'm Kinky. Let's hope the state of Texas is Kinky, too. :D Have a great day, folks! (And I'm gonna need a Kinky icon, I reckon.)
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Date: 2006-05-12 06:51 am (UTC)Let's hope that all those people that signed his petition and dance in them halls and barns get out there and vote him in....
And did you happen to see that Dubya and Dad are supporting JEB's run for prez in 2008? just wondering about your thoughts on that little number...like Jeb ever did anything right, look at the Schiavo business....just saying....
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Date: 2006-05-12 08:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-12 07:23 am (UTC)Another Texan I'm mighty fond of is Lyle Lovett.
I have quite a bit of family in Taxas but they're all tranplants. I guess their kids will be natives.
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Date: 2006-05-12 08:14 am (UTC)They just need to learn that you pass on the left, and if you're slower than everyone, get the hell off the highway. :D
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Date: 2006-05-12 10:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-12 07:23 am (UTC)Every Texan I've ever met, from emo goth boys to pearl-wearing sorority girls to every stripe of person, loves the state! Most loyal citizenry ever.
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Date: 2006-05-12 08:17 am (UTC)And Kinky's great. He's getting more and more press here, which is terrific. I mean, hell: Willie Nelson supports him, and it doesn't get much more Texan than Willie. He still eats breakfast at the Bluebonnet Cafe every morning he's in town. (This would be Marble Falls, a little town outside of Austin.)
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Date: 2006-05-12 09:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-12 11:19 am (UTC):D Hey there!! (Bee sting alright? Man, I just stressed about that for you. Once a mom, always a mom, right?)
I googled today
Date: 2006-05-12 09:34 am (UTC)greetings from jorick!
btw, if you are wondering where im from, im from The Netherlands (Europe).
this is my mail if you want to mail me cause i will probably forget that i was here.
n2gethernowdvs@gmail.com
my mail!
peace!
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Date: 2006-05-12 11:25 am (UTC)But if I did, I would have been flattered, jorick! Have a great day (night?), and peace back at you!
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Date: 2006-05-12 11:40 am (UTC)Man, you REALLY look good!
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Date: 2006-05-12 11:49 am (UTC)(Hello! Heading to the grocery store: want anything? Heh.)
♥
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Date: 2006-05-12 11:53 am (UTC)*the puppies are for snuggling.
(http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/11.gif)
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Date: 2006-05-12 01:36 pm (UTC)HA! I got some of that dark chocolate with cranberries in it, YUM. There will be some in June, oh yes.
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Date: 2006-05-12 02:06 pm (UTC)CRANBERRIES! I am addicted to cranberries.
*hearts, yet again*
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Date: 2006-05-12 09:54 am (UTC)But then I got sad when I realized that every, and I mean *every*, candidate that I get excited about goes down in flames. I'm sorry Laura, I think I just doomed your guy.
Speaking of governors being groomed or grooming *themselves* for the presidential race, we are so disgusted with our own governor, Romney. He can barely stand to be here more than 5 minutes before lighting out on the "campaign" trail. I put that in quotes because it's not quite acknowledged yet that he's running. But oh please, we all know you can't wait to shake the dust of Massachusetts from your expensive loafers, Mitt.
What astonishes me is that he thinks he really has a chance. You tell me, Laura. As a Mormon, do you think he could honestly win the election? I don't. I don't think Southerners (and I'm speaking here of the South I'm familiar with, the Carolinas, Virginia, etc.) would vote for a Mormon, no matter how he played to their conservative hearts. Which is what he's doing, that slimy backtracking...
*takes deep breath*
Anyway, I don't think he could win without the support of the South. Is what I'm saying. And he's certainly lost the support of the Northeast. In my ignorant, naive opinion.
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Date: 2006-05-12 11:18 am (UTC)His response: "Yeah. That's pretty damned outrageous for a fella to have a beer with all them Irish types. At least I wasn't drivin' or doing coke." Nice pointed remark about their poster boy Bush.
Mormon? From Massachussets?? I can't believe he made it up there! And hell no the Deep Coastal South won't vote for him. They like their religious types to not be Catholic or Cult members. Good ol' Born Again, or possibly Methodist. Hell, Lutheran is pushing it for South Carolina.
Orrin Hatch barely has folks out east (that are Red State) not looking at him askance. (And I'm telling you, Big Love is pushing some uncomfortable truths into the public eye.)
What works for Kinky Friedman is the fact that regardless of him being a mostly-liberal minded Jew, he LOOKS and SOUNDS like the quintessential Texan. That there is a fine example of the wit and independant thought that I associate with my home. And if he keeps playing it right, he'll convince everyone the same.
Good example on his site: "Less than a third of voters showed up for this last election. That's not what Texans died at the Alamo for." God bless that man. (As he puts it: Whichever God you Follow bless you.) Ha!
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Date: 2006-05-12 11:57 am (UTC)Oh, there are two reasons he got elected. One: we have a long history of electing Republican governors to lead our lopsidedly Democratic legislature, and two: he presented himself as fairly liberal on many issues, issues which he has for the past year been very busy to reverse himself. Made 100% U-turns on just about every social policy issue you care to mention. God I can't stand him.
I don't remember what slim ties he has to this state, other than owning a house in Belmont. He spent several years out in Utah, where he was in charge of the Olympics. He's a Mormon, oh yes. He'll be a Republican candidate.
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Date: 2006-05-12 01:35 pm (UTC)Not to mention the RAGE the local citizenry felt when Clinton turned the Escalante land into a National Park, instead of a golf-and-condo resort. I CRINGE at the thought of all that gorgeous natural land turned into a fucking golf course. And where was the water going to come to sustain it? (We're talking the back end of Bryce Canyon here. !!! Nope, no one wants to see that. FORE!)
FUCK I hate that state. Ooops, let me ammend that: I hate the PEOPLE of that state. The land is absolutely stunning, and I ache for it on a regular basis. (And I just bet your guy changed his agenda ASAP. SLimy git.)
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Date: 2006-05-12 10:35 am (UTC)I'd vote for the Kinkster if I were in Texas, and share your Ann Richards love (my favorite moment in Chihully over Venice shows her and that great messy heap of a nutcase pitching glass forms into the Grand Canal). I figure that the Bush nonsense just proves that even Texas' bad ideas are oversized.
Julia, and HEE for the "kicked his balls off" moment- reminds me of my sister getting kicked in the eye by a bull and thinking her face was covered with her brains, although it turned out to be only shit.
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Date: 2006-05-12 11:11 am (UTC)He's got a decent chance if he can get a bit more press. Folks here are getting sick of the old regime, slowly but surely.
I laughed out loud at the brains bit. Another good one for you: Chrissy used to run the trail rides at Jackson Lake Lodge a while back, and they kept some Clydesdales for the larger folks that would have broken the Quarterhorse's backs. She was exercising them in the arena one afternoon, and two blue-hairs strolled up to the fence admiring them.
She decided to give them a thrill and run them along the fence-line so they could get a better look. As they passed, she heard one woman say to the other, "Aren't those bison so majestic?" Ahahaha!! City folks.
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Date: 2006-05-12 10:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-12 11:08 am (UTC)(Hi, Angie!!!)
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Date: 2006-05-12 11:57 am (UTC)(HI [again]!)
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Date: 2006-05-12 01:14 pm (UTC)He looks like the love child of Chris Cooper and Mickey Rourke with that kinda no bullshit attitude I really love.
I'll make up an icon for you sweetie.
:)
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Date: 2006-05-12 01:38 pm (UTC)The best thing about Kinky, aside from his name, is how on the surface he looks like he'd be a side show, but when you LISTEN to him, dammit if he don't make sense. :D
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Date: 2006-05-12 01:42 pm (UTC)Oh exactly...when they introduced him with a brief bio...I thought just that!
And was nicely surprised.
*kisses*
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Date: 2006-05-12 01:39 pm (UTC):)
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Date: 2006-05-12 01:39 pm (UTC)LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!!!
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Date: 2006-05-12 01:43 pm (UTC):)
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Date: 2006-05-12 01:52 pm (UTC)AWESOME. *huge hugs*
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Date: 2006-05-12 01:34 pm (UTC)Singing: "Plots and sex scandals failed outright/ Kinky merely said, "Any kind of love is all right..."
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Date: 2006-05-12 01:39 pm (UTC)Isn't that the truth? He'd laugh, and add TO the story, you know? Love it.
*strums a guitar - pronounced: "git-tahr"*