Gud Summries ficathon entry: Haiku

[stoney321]

Heads up: today is going to be a bit spammy from me. I have fic to post and the master list for the Gud Summries Ficafunathingathon, so it may seem like I'm making up for lost time. Which I am. :)

First entry (I somehow managed to sign up for TWO fics, both of which I forgot about until yesterday, whoops!) is from the prompt: "Buffy goes to fat camp." I offer my submission in the form of haiku.



Buffy Goes To Fat Camp: Haiku

Season one thigh-highs
Accentuate doughy knees
Long pants hide cankles*


Pancakes - pizza - pop
Indian soap operas
Need to kill more vamps


Xander and Willow
Sneaking Summers' snacks at night
Joyce thinks, "Where's the food?"


Steadfast counselor
Searches through pillowcase
Chocolate treasure


Push-ups and pull-ups
The Slayer will not tire
Other campers plot


Lunch lady Doris
Bribes grease hands- she greases food
Buffy's ribs vanish


Cakes, pies and doughnuts
Not only booty at camp
Buffy's heinie spreads


Demons hear of this
Corpulent, lazy slayer
Time to take over



(Okay, I swear the second entry is actually good.) * cankles = calf-sized ankles

Comments

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

...

Heee!

This is bizarre. Which means it worked! Poor Buffy. I particularly liked the use of the word "heinie". :(|)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

hahaha!! And look! You're using the Indian Soap Opera icon!

(There's only one or two up there that really work, but dammit, I've never backed out of a ficathon yet! The other prompt made me SO HAPPY, I can't wait to get it up and cackle.)

MONKEY! Heart. Hearting you! :* and >:>

[elisi]

The concept of this is just fabulous! And the execution is... words fail and break as I try to think of anything fitting.

*applauds your brain*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! Oh, man, come on. Although, I like the "chocolate treasure" haiku. Heeee!! *squish to you!*

Just hang on for my Spuffy/anti-Spuffy/Bangel/cowgirl/revenge fic coming up!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heh. And off topic, but I LOVE your Brave Little Toaster icon.

(I'm going for a jog, hit me with an email or the masterlist - going up when I get back - with your link, okay? Just the raw link.)

YAY!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Derrr... Sorry! Here I am assuming you knew it. Anytime you need me, email my [username]@livejournal.com.

Second: yay for the link! Post going up in a few minutes, and I'll hightail it to your fic, hurray!

[cherusha.livejournal.com]

You had me at "Indian soap operas".

I now feel like I have not experienced one of Earth's most colorful joys.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Yes, all should experience the glory that is Bollywood. FOr truly, it is as wonderous as a peacock.

(dude, running around like a chicken with its head cut off - will get to everything eventually, I swear!!)

[cherusha.livejournal.com]

*grabs thread and needle*

No worries, heart! Man, I thought July 4th was gonna be a day of relaxation due to everything being closed? NOPE. It's a day off to get everything done that you don't normally have time to get done. *dashes off also*

[semby.livejournal.com]

Hee! I kinda love you right now. Haiku was the perfect choice of formats for this.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heeee! I mean, BUFFY. In FAT CAMP? Were there some lost episodes I'm not aware of?

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

I can't believe you used "cankles" in a haiku and then felt the need to define it at the bottom of the page. You're adorable.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I'm just bold as brass, aren't I? Or possibly just barely functionally literate, I can never tell.

I hope you know these haikus were written with only you as my audience in mind, right? It's up to you whether to be afraid or pleased. ;D

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

LOL. Only me, huh?

your cankles impress
beyond my wildest dreams and
I want to be you

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Bwah!

Colorado nights
Enter Texas dreams. Long for
Wrtercon bar

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

tequila and lime,
hot mexican night, salt in
all the right places

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

This goes a very long way indeed to make me feel less crappy this morning, although I'm still not quite up to listening to the food processor make almond custard.

Julia, even I don't have cankles. I think they're genetic

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heh, glad I could get you to giggle a little bit.

Almond custard? That's it. I'm coming over.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Spike has second thoughts
There's too much Buffy to love
Falls for scrawny Fred.

You are a mad genius.

I posted June garden pics

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hey cookie! And heeeeeee! haikus are incredibly addictive, imo.

New garden pics? *cries* I haven't been able to water since June 1, and we've had .25 inches of rain ALL MONTH. Oh, agony.

*can't help it, follows the link for the pretty*

[maevebran.livejournal.com]

Oh dear lord. That was way too funny. You had both me and the husband rolling with laughter.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hooray! That's the best kind of feedback - I love making people laugh.

*grin*

[makd.livejournal.com]

delicious! Mind if I rec?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heh - sure, sure! Feel free. (This is a part of a ficathon, the next entry is the masterlist. Some great stories in there, if you're looking for reading material!)

[cordelianne.livejournal.com]

heeeee! Loved the use of haiku for this prompt! Very absurd and amusing. This made me LOL because of what Joyce thinks:

Xander and Willow
Sneaking Summers' snacks at night
Joyce thinks, "Where's the food?"

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heh - I watched some S2 last night, and the ep (der kinderschtdadt?) where the Scoobies are on Buffy's bed and making her get food for them, and Xander knows where she's hiding the cheesy chips?

Heeeeee!

[anelith.livejournal.com]

Perfect thing for me to read this morning as I'm packing the cooler for the pool -- I swear the snacks disappear at an alarming rate! Every mom there says, "But yesterday I had a whole garage stocked full of snacks! Where does it all GO?" Yep, me and Joyce are as one.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

How did I miss replying to this??

And I KNOW about snacks!! I recently discovered the kids were feeding the neighborhood (not that any of the family reciprocate, ahem) so I put the kibbosh on that.

Pool day! Have a great time! *puts zinc oxide on your nose*

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

Steadfast counselor
Searches through pillowcase
Chocolate treasure

You were right - totally my favorite. The thing I love MOST about this fic-a-thon is that someone, somewhere, believed that in some possibly universe *Buffy* would need to go to fat camp. *loves*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I wonder if they sent Buffy there to whip folks into shape? Or maybe the camp was some kind of play on the demon world in "Anne?"

Or PERHAPS NICOLE RITCHIE WRITES FANFIC.

♥ U