Gud Summries Ficathon Masterlist - It's TIME!

[stoney321]

Happy Fourth of July! It's time for all the wonderful fics you've created based on the Gud Summries to come rolling in. Hopefully any fireworks created from this ficafunathingathon will be of the celebratory nature. A quick reminder to folks passing through: this is about having fun with over-the-top prose. This is not about mocking any persons or authors, which is not condoned in my LJ.

For those who signed up, if I don't have a link from you already, feel free to reply here with a raw link to your post so I can link to your journal. If for some reason you're going to be delayed, please let me know so we can keep this as organized as possible.



Note: These are links to the fics based on the prompts. The link isn't necessarily the title of the fic! Carry on!

sweptawaybayou: Spike loves the Slayer, Agle's back to claim her, Riley just adimmted to his love: angst Delayed! But coming
stoney321: Buffy was a yound[sic] and promising Barrel Racer. Then she had an accident. Spike was a young and promising Bull Rider. Then he met Buffy. AND Buffy goes to fat camp.
crazydiamondsue: buffy's a skater, Angel's a skater and Riley turned into a dip despite my best efforts to the contrary
southernbangel: Buffy learns how to NOT be bitchy Delayed! But coming...
shannon730: Just small stories about stupid every day stuff with Xander doing them
lostakasha: Everyone commits suicide
st_salieri: Buffy's pregnant who's the father?
tropnevad: A little poem I wrote for British literature class as part of a class project to create our own individual Canterbury Tales, set at a McDonald's birthday party IN THE COMMENTS. GOOD LORD, DON'T MISS THIS!
thepiratequeen: On August the 23, in the Year of Our Lord 1339, the crown prince of Loria was born. Born not as a child, but as a man, he led the Knights of the White against the demon Hoarde, and vanguished them on the fields of Moridian. (Xander fic)
globalfruitbat: I become Buffy. What happened to the real Buffy? A story of redemption. My redemption and A series of disconnected stories made up entirely of sound effects. Delayed - computer ate her homework - but coming! ;D
yin_again: Just small stories about stupid every day stuff with Xander doing them Delayed, but coming!
cordelianne: Riley finally gets a clue + Xander finds out where all the toilet paper went
elisi: Xander finds out where all the toilet paper went
violethamster: Sometimes Humpty Dumpty isn't an egg at all it could be a person, or an animal, or something Delayed, but coming!
beadtific: Xander and the toilet paper
zandra_x: Between five and six and Two old friends meet for the first time withdrawal due to RL complications. We wish her the best and a speedy return to happy thoughts!
appomattoxco: 'i'm making it up as i go along.' 'DON'T GO AWAY! It has a plot now! withdrawl due to inability to locate! :(
maevebran: A song fic. Buffy dies. Angel is with her. It's very sad!
redsrule1: >What will happen when the wobbly desert meets the Hellmouth? Read all about it in this story! you will be amazed (or maybe you'll just be bored) at this tale of love, hate, and most of all...Jell-O! and Lindsey McDonald is being brainwashed by the hot dogs! Actually it's more complicated that that, a hot dog on a stick changes everything and Instead of coming here the gang go there
paynbow: Xander finds our where all the toilet paper went and Spike tries to honor 911 Delayed! But coming
anidada: I've got the cold from Hell, so I gave it to Buffy, too. Oh and I made her pregnant, too
floweringjudas: Spike muses about butterflies
greensilver: Dawn wants the oblivion
pucklyantihero: Buffy meets a certain maniacal Penguin
owenthurman: The titttle pretty much summs it up just read "Buffy Litttle Dairy Rant": fluff. Or songfic. withdrawal due to inability to find writer :(
angstpuppy: Angel gets cozy with Xander's feet and ankles : something arsty fartsy. withdrawal due to inability to find author :(
zgirl714: A time-travelin', rollickin', roller-coaster, all-singing, all-dancing story
lilachigh: Spike musing about butterflies, please. And there will be tentacles and probably horns and claws and acid spitting thingies as well!
spikendru: A knife. Minor slash. and Xander finds out where all the toilet paper went. coming soon!
gillo: rated for descriptive content with other interpolations of other summries tossed in. Delayed, but coming!
bookishwench: My drug induced (Chocolate and German Food) ramblings... Xander, Buffy, Teletubbies, good old fashioned Riley bashing, Papa Smurf and of course, the Pilsbery doughboy
speakingsilence: Plot speaks for itself. Rated PG-13 for bad poetry.
ely_jan: TBA (red-headed stepchild crossover with Angel and NO lightsaber) Delayed, but coming!

Be sure to leave our writers lots of feedback! Writing humor is hard, writing humor based on someone else's words is a lot harder!

[ETA for safety] DISCLAIMER: All stories are based on characters owned/created/property of ME and company, and none of the authors who participated profited in any monetary way. Hell, they may not even make new friends over this, so put away the subpoena, Mr. Law Man. This is all for fun.

Comments

[elisi]

Squee! It's time! *bounces*

My fic can be found here:
Xander finds out where all the toilet paper went: http://elisi.livejournal.com/168935.html

The plot came to me in a dream, that's why it's so insane... *g*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Yay!! updating, and dream-polot ideas are some of my favorites! I'll be over there to slap your behind and share a laugh just as soon as I can!

[floweringjudas.livejournal.com]

HELP HELP HELP what was the name of the floppy-haired demon who hung around Spike during the last days of BtVS, the one who was nice? Wasn't it like Sid or something? *trying to BETA HERSELF which is HARD*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Floppy haired? You mean skin? That would be Clem.

(I'll be here all day if you want some help, cookie!)

Re: POETRY CAN MAKE YOU CRY...

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Is the link I have up there wrong?

Spike muses on a Butterfly

[lilachigh.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I had the title up instead of the prompt link!

The title of the story is POETRY CAN MAKE YOU CRY and you can find it on lilachigh

[redsrule1.livejournal.com]

Hi, that first link is wrong. That story hasn't been finished yet and I might not have it ready until the weekend. The two links should be:

A hot dog on a stick changes everything.
http://www.geocities.com/TheTropics/Harbor/6434/DayinSunshine.html

and

http://redsrule1.livejournal.com/15167.html#cutid1
Instead of coming here the gang goes there

The last one should be (combined)

What will happen when the wobbly desert meets the Hellmouth? Read all about it in this story! you will be amazed (or maybe you'll just be bored) at this tale of love, hate, and most of all...Jell-O!
Lindsey McDonald is being brainwashed by the hot dogs! Actually it's more complicated than that
Buffy battles the evil cafeteria soup

I'll post again with the link as soon as it's done.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks! And I didn't seem to have you down for the "a hot dog on a stick changes everything" prompt, so I'll add that in an edit.

Shoot me a comment when you get the third one ready, and I'll link you up!

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

I'm totally watching out for that I-become-Buffy story of redemption "my redemption" fic.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heeeee! Me too! I re-read the summries yesterday, and cracked up at your comment to that post. Man, there was a GOLD MINE of prompts for this thing. I'm so looking forward to everyone's fic!!

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

Almost done. What's the name of a widely-known cheap perfume? Or bad-smelling perfume? One that would have been around during the time of our gang's graduation from high school.

All I can come up with is Jean Nate

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! The first thing I thought of was Jean Natè! What about Charlie? Angel's Baby Soft? What's that drug store thing... "If You like Gio, you'll like ____?" And so on?

[cordelianne.livejournal.com]

Done!! http://cordelianne.livejournal.com/49426.html

It's called Chicken Dancing and is for the prompts Riley finally gets a clue with Xander finds out where all the toilet paper went

Now I can read and enjoy the ones that have been posted! Thanks so much for hosting this!! *g*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HOORAY! Updating the link above, and I'm SO EXCITED TO READ THEM ALL!!

*is being good and waiting for her duties as Link Master to end*

[ely-jan.livejournal.com]

Will be late - no shock there - but will be done. Am doing the red-headed stepchild of all crossovers. And I think we all know what devious little bitcas those can be.

Welcome back, darlin - you were missed!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! Hey, there, Tits McGee! Man, I am so excited about your story... I'll wait as long as you need, you kidding??

I missed my girls, too! *squish*

[speakingsilence.livejournal.com]

Here ya go! There's plotty bad poetry fun to be had in Storytime at http://speakingsilence.livejournal.com/30022.html. Now I gotta clickety-click off to all the other entries! ::bounces away::

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HOORAY!! Got you updated, and I'll be around to squee and love in a bit!

[spikendru.livejournal.com]

My actual entry for the ficathon is up. A Knife. Minor Slash. (http://spikendru.livejournal.com/90501.html#cutid1) In that post, I also linked to the previous Gud Summaries I couldn't resist and posted ahead of time. *g* I haven't finished the Toilet Paper one yet; lack of Internet access is driving me insane, but I'm really looking forward to reading these. Inspired idea, Stoney!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hurrah! *and snuggles your icon*

I remember you had done some other ones, so yay for having a masterlist with ALL! JOY!

(Just get to the other one when you can, if you can, okay? This is a FUNathon, not a stressathon. :* )

[thepiratequeen.livejournal.com]

My fic is gonna be a little late. I have no AC in my apartment and it's been in the 90s for the past few days so thinking and typing and getting things done has been slow moving. And today I ran away to the movie theater. I'm almost there though!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

hi there!! It's been AGES since I've chatted with you! And no worries on the time-frame. I'll update the top, and you'll get it done when it's done.

And BOO to the A/C. It's CRIMINAL that it's cooler here (well, right now at least) than in NYC. Here's to hoping cooler weather hits you SOON!

[bookishwench.livejournal.com]

Yipe! Mine's going to be a day or so late. Sorry!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oooh, thanks for the head's up, and I'll make a note. You just get it done when you can, don't cause yourself any undo stress. Hit me with an email or a reply here when you're able to post so I can spread the word!

[anidada.livejournal.com]

My fic, "Stupid Head Cold," can be found here (http://anidada.livejournal.com/585079.html). *facepalm*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, good timing! In between popcicles and sparklers here at the homefront!

Got you updated, and once things settle down at my end, I'll be right over! Thanks so much for signing up to play, YAY!

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

Finished! With part one! And before the deadline (midnight July 4, CST) too!

I will read all entries tomorrow. Yay!

"Welcome to the Wheels-O-Rama"

Buffy/Angel

http://crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com/141477.html#cutid1

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hooray! And man, there are some GEMS in here. (Do NOT miss the penguin fic. Yes, you read that correctly.)

Got you fixed up there, and I'm waiting for the coffee to cool so I'm all perky for your fantasmagora!

[tropnevad.livejournal.com]

Well, here it is. Please don't everyone panic at once.

I want you to know that I was well into my fifth bottle at the time.

Title: The Host
Author: tropnevad
Notes: For stoney321's Gud Summries challenge: A little poem I wrote for British literature class as part of a class project to create our own individual Canterbury Tales, set at a McDonald's birthday party (loosely based). The non-challenge is to spot the shameless Pirates of the Caribbean plug.


...............................


The fourteenth of December
Five hours before dawn
Seven guests sat together
Hands tied and feet bound.
But 'tis not by the rope
That secured them in place
The deadly weight of their sins
Did prevent their escape.
A buffet of flesh
Presented with flair
Of a slayer
A witch
A vampire
A bitch
The watcher
The key
The everyman

And me...


...............................


Sizzle, sizzle, meat on the griddle. The cow jumped over the moon? No, no, that's not how it goes. This would be easier if I actually had a childhood to remember. Choked on her own vomit... Is that rope tight enough? No? Yes? No? Oh, you can't talk. I forgot. You know, those shit paper napkins are pretty resistant. Go figure. That sounds like a commercial, ha! More absorbent than the leading competitor, stronger than a ball-gag. What do you think? In another life, I could have been in sales. No, you're right, that would have never worked. I'm way too -- what's the word? -- tempestuous. A poet? Now there's a thought to make my black, shriveled little heart go pitter-patter. Buffy ran away with the spoon.

Fuck, I'm tired. The reds and yellows are oddly comforting, I have to say. Do you suppose they hired top scientists from around the globe to come up with this brilliant color scheme? Probably wanted people to fall half asleep so they wouldn't notice how much trans-fatty acids and cholesterol they've shoveled down in one 5-minute sitting. I read that on the front page of a newspaper once. About how fast food was the number one contributor to obesity these days, or some shit like that. I disagree. I think that people don't give a shit anymore because there's already so much shit in this world, and what's one more shit added on to a mountain of shit? 3 cups red, 1 cup yellow, add shit to taste. Fuck, it's a good thing I haven't eaten yet. I would have made a mess all over your nice clean shirt. But to continue with my new life as a poet, I would do something like this:

Roses are red
and yellows are bright.
I'll take my revenge
and fade into the night.

That's beautiful. What do you think, witch? Okay, that was shit. I can do better. Practice makes perfect, that's what they always say. It won't do you any good, witch. No spell in the world can get you out of this. I sold my soul to the devil. Not the small water devil who lives in Lake Cuomo or the master vampire devil who's lived for over a thousand years or the CEO of Walmart, but The Devil. The big kahuna. I'm talking everything and nothing. The devil of hate, of fear, of jealousy, of lust, the devil that lives inside you and me and even inside little Suzy McGee who lives on 123 Happy Lane, Land Pleasantville.

Contd.

[tropnevad.livejournal.com]

Well, well, listen to me wax philosophical. It certainly lives inside you. Hey, I came up with a great vampire joke today. Listen:

What do you call a vamp with a soul?
A pair of ducks.

Get it? because paradox sounds a lot like pair of ducks... oh nevermind. Glare at me all you want, you know what they say: If looks could kill, kill first. Oh, wait, I said that. Y'know, that duster's looking a little worn. You ought to take it to the cleaners sometime. Not that it'll do you any good now. Just something to think about while we wait. But you know what really makes my blood boil? How quickly they accepted you. Go you, you're part of the team, now. Rah, rah, rah. How many people have you killed? I'm willing to bet it's more than the number of years I've been alive. One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness. I watched this rad movie a few days ago. Eh, it was your standard popcorn variety, actually. But what really stuck with me was how the curse -- this curse that turned the pirates into walking dead -- could only be broken by returning all the gold coins they had stolen to the chest of Cortes. That's what I am, that's what you are. A corpse. I can feel it eating away at my insides. It makes me wanna reach inside and pull out all the bad stuff that's stuck in there. Until there's nothing left, you know? Until it's all clean again, like fresh linen. And so this is what I'm doing now. I'm returning stolen goods.

What are you looking at? Bitch, I'll be honest. I don't know you. You were just (un)lucky enough to be at the right place at the right time. But even though I don't know you, and you mean nothing to me, I'll give you a small piece of advice because I'm just so nice of a person: You'll never replace her. No, don't look at her, look at me. She was her life. Her soul. When she died, her soul died, too. Yeah. That's one more corpse to add to the body count. There, there. There's no use crying. Hey, look on the bright side! At least you'll be together till the end. Yeah, that was a nice bit of poetry to chew. From me to you, stranger.

Ah! Me and you, watcher! Let's have a little chat. Just me and you. I know what you're thinking. Maybe you could have saved me, all those years ago? Or maybe you're not. Maybe you're picturing my demise, bullet through the head, dagger through the heart, blood mixing with brains splattered all over the nice clean linoleum. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit what you think. You think I wanna live my life like some goddamn pooch? Humping your leg for approval and scraps of bacon? Fuck you. I live for me. And now I live for Him. Fuck you. I wasn't looking to be saved or coddled or fucking accepted. I was looking for...

Well, that's just it, isn't it? I don't know what it is I'm looking for. That's why we're all here. Because He promised-- He said that I needed to prove-- and then He promised-- if I did, then He promised-- He promised--



God, will you look at the time? It's past four already and I haven't even gotten to the key and the everyman, yet. Fuck, but time flies when you're having f--

I'd better wrap this up quick. I know that's not what you're supposed to do. Pacing is just as important as plot, characterization... well, fuck book convention. This is life. Goodbye, key! I want to be you someday, but in reverse. Warm and safe and a bright ball of energy. Later, everyman! You'll thank me for this. Someday. I made you famous. Your mug will be all over the front pages of every newspaper and tabloid in the country, and bored housewives will cry over you and the tragedy of it all. Except you won't get the chance to thank me, will you? Oh well.

Happy birthday to me!
Happy birthday to me!
You look like a monkey
and you smell like one, too!

Can I make a wish now?

I wish...



Oh man, am I crying?



Don't worry. Be happy.
Yo ho, yo ho
A slayer's life for me.




It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Jones. Here is my resume, I'm sure you'll find me more than qualified for this position as sales associate for the BC&E company...

Hello, Ms. Jones.

Hello
Hi
Hello

Part one!

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

http://beadtific.livejournal.com/185674.html

Re: Part one!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I LOVE YOU. that is all. FOR NOW...

Linking, then off to love on you in a bit! Thank you, thank you for participating, my Susi!!

[sweptawaybayou.livejournal.com]

eeep!

Mine will be done on Friday, babe.

Sorry to be late.

**hugshugs**

[zgirl714.livejournal.com]

Eeek! I linked my fic to the wrong post. Here it is, The More Your Know (http://zgirl714.livejournal.com/150841.html).

Felch me, baby!

[lostakasha.livejournal.com]

Well, felching... hmm. Won't try that again. Here's my link:

http://lostakasha.livejournal.com/55887.html

Re: Felch me, baby!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heheheheheheh! CAN. NOT. WAIT. I'm linking you up now!

[trelkez.livejournal.com]

Here! (http://greensilver.livejournal.com/331409.html) Dawn does indeed want the oblivion. *g*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

ROCK!! Oh, yayness! I've been eagerly waiting for this one in particular! Got you linked up above, feel free to pimp this to your hearts content! I'll be by in a bit to slather you with praise and joy.

[kaydee23.livejournal.com]

What happened to the one I read a week or so ago? The summary was "More Xander than you can stomach." I know I read it, but I don't see it up there. Was it by iadorespike? Did I hallucinate the whole thing?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Uh.... I have no idea? As far as I know of, if they signed up for this ficathon, they are either listed above with the fic or I'm waiting to hear back from them.

iadorespike hadn't signed up, according to my original sign up sheet?