A Herd Thinner, aka Who The Hell Is Stoney?

[stoney321]

Meme-esque, from all over. *waves to new people acquired at WriterCon*


Stats:
Name: Laura or Stoney. Stoney is a real life nickname, based on a twist of my maiden name. I'll answer to either.
Marital/Offspring: Married, for the second time. He's great. He's Mr. S in this LJ. He's also my best friend, a great guy, and travels all week, hence the ability to post to LJ with any frequency. I have three kids, The Boy, #2, and Emily. They're funny and smart and good kids. Occasionally I post pics/talk about them, but those are flocked because they deserve a modicum of privacy. Also, it could be boring and my subconscious limits your exposure. Heh. I am also DONE having kids. But I'm a weirdo that loves being pregnant. I just can't imagine having to potty train another child. But I don't care if people choose to NOT have kids. Why should I? I wish more people made conscious decisions about having them.
Height/weight: what are you, the FBI? Average, all around. I do like to wear schnazzy glasses, I'll say. I'm a fan of exercise (I do every day) and eating good foods. Take from that what you will.

This LJ
Mostly an entertaining LJ. As in, I try and make you smile, laugh, or groan and laugh. There can be fic. Or polls. Or links. On occassion, porn. But the written kind.

Fic/Fandoms
I write predominantly in the Jossverse (Angel/Buffy), but my first fandom (not online here) was Star Wars. I will not be judged by you. *knuckles away tears* (Luke/Leia used to be canon! George is an idiot, I agree, but he makes pretty pictures.) I've woefully neglected my second love, Pirates of the Caribbean, in which I am ONLY interested in the dynamic between Captain Jack Sparrow and the (ex)Commodore James Norrington. Keira Knightly gives me hives. I will not apologize for liking what I like. I love me some Office, both the UK and the US version, and have just started writing fanfic for the US version. I co-mod an RPG where I play Will Ferrell, Tom Cruise, Prince ( O{+> ), and Donatella Versace. Oh, and God. Obviously, it's a parody celeb RPG. Which makes it awesome.

Actors I fangirl, and I'm the lamest of fangirls, at that:

• Jack Davenport (have written PotC and Coupling, as well as RPS/F)


• Vincent Kartheiser (I love Connor. I do not friggin' care if you do not. Haha, let's tease Stoney about loving Connor. Let's not, okay? It's played out, yo. AtS fic as well as RPS, in which I like him best with DB.)


• Will Ferrell (SERIOUSLY. I love him. I don't care it you don't. Funny is awesome. Tall and funny is a rarity. I've written Will fic, as well as play him on TV in an RPG.)

I write gen, het, slash, humor and dark (for me) fic. I don't have a "'ship." Okay I do, but there's like... four of us. So I keep it to myself. Angel/Connor. DO NOT JUDGE ME. Hahahaha! I also write some of the most cracked out crack around. I do not understand outrageous AU without irony. Not a judgment, just not a preference. I'm all for irony. Do not call humor "fluff." Or, don't around me. Fluff is easy. Humor is hard. I've made many character CD mixes (Jossverse characters) and love them like my kids. You can check my memories for the song lists and the reasoning behind them, if you're interested. Ditto with fic. All are tagged, too. I like tags better than memories, to be honest.

I love being asked questions. I love learning. I love asking questions. You can do any of that in my LJ.

I have three kids and a life outside of my computer chair. Sometimes I'm done with a post - as in, I forget to go back and respond to general comments. If it's a fic post, I'm incredibly grateful for any comment I get and will make every attempt to respond to you, because that's polite. And because of the whole gratitude thing. If I didn't reply, I may not have gotten a notification, or just forgot. Nothing personal, honest to Pete.

I cuss like a sailor. I work "blue." If bad words upset you, you are REALLY in the wrong spot. I also take next to nothing seriously. Because life's short.

I don't like pointing fingers at people and mocking them. You may have heard that I do. I am completely aware that there are groups of people on the internet that hate me and think I'm awful. I really don't fucking care. I know who I am. If you stick around long enough, you will, too. I do, however, like to point out really purple prose. Cream of Cum, people. There's no way I can take that seriously. Nor should you. Heh heh. I like making fun of the serioz bizness of LJ, because DOOD.

Names you'll see a bunch
crazydiamondsue - first person I met from my LJ. We live close to each other, and are real life friends. We're random and funny. In our heads, at least. Heh. She also gets my humor. Sue? YOU COMPLETE ME. Hee hee!
dovil - first person I fangirled on LJ, and one of the funniest people ever. We're also real life friends. Together, we make up a large portion of the "mean girls," which cracks me up to no end. Dovil is a sweetheart. She's also 87 and eats cat food, but don't say anything. It embarrasses her. You can mock her wetting herself, however. She appreciates a good pee pee joke.
cherusha - my sooper sekrit girlfriend. Except now you all know. Which means I'll have to kill you. We play/co-mod an RPG together (a_list_celebs) and she's funny and pretty and I heart her. She brought me into PotC fandom. We're also real life friends, and she understands my love of both JackDav and Will Ferrell, which means she's my favorite. Hahahaha!
ladycat777 and entrenous88 are my buds. I heart them, too. We (along with Sue) email each other every morning and keep each other laughing all day. That's the goal, at any rate. We also make breakfast/lunch plans together because it is IMPORTANT. They are possibly the only ones that got that.
moosesal and brandil are a matched set, funny, snarky, and moosesal totally beats me up when I don't mention her, and I'm afraid... so very afraid...

Friending Policy
Don't need to ask, if you want to read my journal. Again, I only flock posts about my kids. I don't have secret posts where I mock people, or anything of the sort. If I have something to say, I will say it. Because I'm an adult. :) I have a hard time reading a lot of journals (I don't use filters.) so I may not friend you back if I don't know you. It's a READING LIST. I take absolutely no offense if you need to trim me off your list. It's just ones and zeros, you know? No need to let me know, unless you feel so inspired. I tend to like reading journals that are smart, funny, interesting, that sort of thing. I don't like memes/quizzes, etc. If a journal is spammy - lots of posts in one day - I tend to trim to make my LJ time faster. That doesn't mean I don't save up a journal to read in one day, and catch up. Again, READING LIST.

Personal Stuff

• I have this huge boil on my... KIDDING! And eww. I'm a Master Gardener for the state of Texas, and love love love to talk plants, offer advice, or point people to where they need to go. Just ask if you want to know/find something. I may not have it in my head, but I can find a source for you.


• I'm healthy, relatively sane (she says...), and am in a solid relationship. I tend to not whine on LJ, except in extreme situations. I'm all for the positive.


• I'm a Yellow Dog Democrat, and proud of it. My governor (will be) a cigar smoking Jew, if I have any say about it. Go Kinky.


• I am first and foremost a Texan. DO NOT diss my state without expecting some repercussions. I love it with every fiber of my being. I won't put your home down, so you know. Have manners. They're free.


• I have this weird thing about posting more than once a day - I don't like to. I feel spammy and obnoxious. If I do, for some reason, I'll apologize. It's a thing.


• I have two sisters online, one more than the other. That one is also in my RPG and is friggin' hilarious. The other sis is the "normal" one. We're trying to make her crazy like us, too.


• I love music. Correction, I love GOOD music. All kinds. All genres. I come from a family of musicians - although I am not one, I did try, however - and can talk Gounod to the Go-Gos, and everything in between. I'm always on the lookout for more.


• I love books and movies, and like to talk about them, but will start moving all of that discussion to my VOX account, so it's in one place. I have organizational issues.


• I am an atheist. I do not believe in a higher power. I do not denigrate those that do. I know it gives people comfort, peace, and purpose, and do not want to take away the shine. But please do not proselytize to me. I once was very religious, and I am just not anymore. I was raised Mormon. That is not entirely why I am an atheist, but it's a good start.


• I do not like Pina Coladas, and walking in the rain ruins my hair. I'm a bit weird about my hair. It's a Texas/Southern thing.


• I do, however, like tequila, and all drinks that can be made from it. Milagro Silver is a brand name everyone should try - it's a gateway tequila. Jose Cuervo is NOT a friend of yours. It's the devil.


• I normally do not put my X in the center square, because that's what they WANT me to do.


• When in doubt (or bored), MAHJONGG!

Questions? Comments? There's punch and pie in the breezeway... (and if you need to take me off your flist, really - no harm no foul.)

Comments

[brandil.livejournal.com]

I love how most of it boils down to manners. Is that Southern thing? Or a, my mama raised me right sort of thing?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha!! Yes, ma'am. For those of us in the south, it's both: a mama AND southern thing. (thang)

Like I tell my kids: manners are free. There's no excuse to not have some.

*pulls out your chair, kisses the top of your head.* So I was researching bondage knots today... *cracks up*

[brandil.livejournal.com]

I wish more people would understand that saying 'Please' and 'thank you' take zero time and should be an AUTOMATIC RESPONSE. I may have minor manner issues.

Find out anything good? Have you gone and bought climbing rope and practice on the over-sized stuffed animals? ;)

[wickedgrdn.livejournal.com]

Stoney, I think you're the coolest person on my flist. I heart you muchly. And the reading is always enjoyable. :)

[wolfshark]

*fangirls*

[going-not-gone.livejournal.com]

You forgot to mention:

VIAGRA, MUCHACHAS!!!!!


Also, I dedicated a drabble to you today, because you are so freaking cute. (http://community.livejournal.com/open_on_sunday/1613557.html)

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

If that's you in the icon those are some damn sexy glasses.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I mean SERIOUSLY. I had one person from up north tell me she thought it was weird that I taught my kids to say "yes, ma'am," and "yes, sir." Like I was making them robots or something. o_O

Ooooh, I have. Apparently the Japanese have two forms of knot-tying for bondage. One for pleasure, and one for torture. (I looked up the latter. Heh. It's for a fic. Suuuuuuuuuure.)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*stops picking my nose* Hmmm? Heh. I'm a DORK!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*sends you monthly check*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You did?? HEEEEEE!!! *zooms!*

VIAGRA, MUCHACHAS!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

'Tis me, 'tis me! ALthough I've retired those and moved to a green and brown pair that are more cat-eyed. Wheee glasses!

[wolfshark]

*attempts to cash*

Hey, waitaminute - it bounced!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

CRAP. You're supposed to wait until FRIDAY.

GOD.

[wickedgrdn.livejournal.com]

So am I. Heh. Birds of a feather...LOL

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

OMG STONEY YOU ARE MY MOTHER.

If I heard it once, I heard it a thousand times: "Manners are free. There's not excuse not to have any." Even NOW she and my dad will still correct me if I say "yes" or "no" without the "m'am" or "sir" part. I do realize this makes me my parents' bitch and I'm okay with that.

[wolfshark]

oops?

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

should be an AUTOMATIC RESPONSE

Dude, THANK YOU. People will look at me funny when I say "thank you" or "please" to anyone--be it a gentleman who holds up a door for me (of which I am a big fan of. It's what the menfolk are supposed to do!) or the waitress bringing my sweet tea. You say "please" and "thank you" and YOU MEAN IT.

Golly, I am southern.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha!! See, the doctors said it was normal for me to give birth at 8 years old, but my parents told me the baby was a doll and they shipped it off to Alabama, or something.

I totally would have named you Joanie or Laverne if they would have let me keep you, so it's a good thing they didn't. Lee is so much prettier.

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

The way you are about Texas is the way I am about Alabama. Sure, my state blows sometimes but it is *my* state. I can make fun of it until I turn blue in the face but if a non-Alabamian disses it I will kick you in the shins.

Also, why you have to be such a h8ter? *defriends you like whoa*

:P

[elucidate-this.livejournal.com]

yay tequila!!!! (though i like cuervo, it's both yummy and in my price range)

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

Luverne would have been prettier. Get the nice "Luuuuuuverrrrrne" drawl. And it would have dictated my lot in life--Waffle House waitress. That or Cracker Barrel.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*is filled with blinding h8t and RAGE, omg, cuts self to feeeeeel*

Yeah. What's REALLY fun is when people say Bush is a Texan. That's like me buying a car in New Jersey and saying I'm a Goodfella.

*changes your name to Flodene* <-- actual family nickname

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*weeps for your liver* But I understand.

*makes plans to send you the good stuff someday*

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

You had me at herd thinner.

Take a holt!

Work is nutso today.