A Herd Thinner, aka Who The Hell Is Stoney?

[stoney321]

Meme-esque, from all over. *waves to new people acquired at WriterCon*


Stats:
Name: Laura or Stoney. Stoney is a real life nickname, based on a twist of my maiden name. I'll answer to either.
Marital/Offspring: Married, for the second time. He's great. He's Mr. S in this LJ. He's also my best friend, a great guy, and travels all week, hence the ability to post to LJ with any frequency. I have three kids, The Boy, #2, and Emily. They're funny and smart and good kids. Occasionally I post pics/talk about them, but those are flocked because they deserve a modicum of privacy. Also, it could be boring and my subconscious limits your exposure. Heh. I am also DONE having kids. But I'm a weirdo that loves being pregnant. I just can't imagine having to potty train another child. But I don't care if people choose to NOT have kids. Why should I? I wish more people made conscious decisions about having them.
Height/weight: what are you, the FBI? Average, all around. I do like to wear schnazzy glasses, I'll say. I'm a fan of exercise (I do every day) and eating good foods. Take from that what you will.

This LJ
Mostly an entertaining LJ. As in, I try and make you smile, laugh, or groan and laugh. There can be fic. Or polls. Or links. On occassion, porn. But the written kind.

Fic/Fandoms
I write predominantly in the Jossverse (Angel/Buffy), but my first fandom (not online here) was Star Wars. I will not be judged by you. *knuckles away tears* (Luke/Leia used to be canon! George is an idiot, I agree, but he makes pretty pictures.) I've woefully neglected my second love, Pirates of the Caribbean, in which I am ONLY interested in the dynamic between Captain Jack Sparrow and the (ex)Commodore James Norrington. Keira Knightly gives me hives. I will not apologize for liking what I like. I love me some Office, both the UK and the US version, and have just started writing fanfic for the US version. I co-mod an RPG where I play Will Ferrell, Tom Cruise, Prince ( O{+> ), and Donatella Versace. Oh, and God. Obviously, it's a parody celeb RPG. Which makes it awesome.

Actors I fangirl, and I'm the lamest of fangirls, at that:

• Jack Davenport (have written PotC and Coupling, as well as RPS/F)


• Vincent Kartheiser (I love Connor. I do not friggin' care if you do not. Haha, let's tease Stoney about loving Connor. Let's not, okay? It's played out, yo. AtS fic as well as RPS, in which I like him best with DB.)


• Will Ferrell (SERIOUSLY. I love him. I don't care it you don't. Funny is awesome. Tall and funny is a rarity. I've written Will fic, as well as play him on TV in an RPG.)

I write gen, het, slash, humor and dark (for me) fic. I don't have a "'ship." Okay I do, but there's like... four of us. So I keep it to myself. Angel/Connor. DO NOT JUDGE ME. Hahahaha! I also write some of the most cracked out crack around. I do not understand outrageous AU without irony. Not a judgment, just not a preference. I'm all for irony. Do not call humor "fluff." Or, don't around me. Fluff is easy. Humor is hard. I've made many character CD mixes (Jossverse characters) and love them like my kids. You can check my memories for the song lists and the reasoning behind them, if you're interested. Ditto with fic. All are tagged, too. I like tags better than memories, to be honest.

I love being asked questions. I love learning. I love asking questions. You can do any of that in my LJ.

I have three kids and a life outside of my computer chair. Sometimes I'm done with a post - as in, I forget to go back and respond to general comments. If it's a fic post, I'm incredibly grateful for any comment I get and will make every attempt to respond to you, because that's polite. And because of the whole gratitude thing. If I didn't reply, I may not have gotten a notification, or just forgot. Nothing personal, honest to Pete.

I cuss like a sailor. I work "blue." If bad words upset you, you are REALLY in the wrong spot. I also take next to nothing seriously. Because life's short.

I don't like pointing fingers at people and mocking them. You may have heard that I do. I am completely aware that there are groups of people on the internet that hate me and think I'm awful. I really don't fucking care. I know who I am. If you stick around long enough, you will, too. I do, however, like to point out really purple prose. Cream of Cum, people. There's no way I can take that seriously. Nor should you. Heh heh. I like making fun of the serioz bizness of LJ, because DOOD.

Names you'll see a bunch
crazydiamondsue - first person I met from my LJ. We live close to each other, and are real life friends. We're random and funny. In our heads, at least. Heh. She also gets my humor. Sue? YOU COMPLETE ME. Hee hee!
dovil - first person I fangirled on LJ, and one of the funniest people ever. We're also real life friends. Together, we make up a large portion of the "mean girls," which cracks me up to no end. Dovil is a sweetheart. She's also 87 and eats cat food, but don't say anything. It embarrasses her. You can mock her wetting herself, however. She appreciates a good pee pee joke.
cherusha - my sooper sekrit girlfriend. Except now you all know. Which means I'll have to kill you. We play/co-mod an RPG together (a_list_celebs) and she's funny and pretty and I heart her. She brought me into PotC fandom. We're also real life friends, and she understands my love of both JackDav and Will Ferrell, which means she's my favorite. Hahahaha!
ladycat777 and entrenous88 are my buds. I heart them, too. We (along with Sue) email each other every morning and keep each other laughing all day. That's the goal, at any rate. We also make breakfast/lunch plans together because it is IMPORTANT. They are possibly the only ones that got that.
moosesal and brandil are a matched set, funny, snarky, and moosesal totally beats me up when I don't mention her, and I'm afraid... so very afraid...

Friending Policy
Don't need to ask, if you want to read my journal. Again, I only flock posts about my kids. I don't have secret posts where I mock people, or anything of the sort. If I have something to say, I will say it. Because I'm an adult. :) I have a hard time reading a lot of journals (I don't use filters.) so I may not friend you back if I don't know you. It's a READING LIST. I take absolutely no offense if you need to trim me off your list. It's just ones and zeros, you know? No need to let me know, unless you feel so inspired. I tend to like reading journals that are smart, funny, interesting, that sort of thing. I don't like memes/quizzes, etc. If a journal is spammy - lots of posts in one day - I tend to trim to make my LJ time faster. That doesn't mean I don't save up a journal to read in one day, and catch up. Again, READING LIST.

Personal Stuff

• I have this huge boil on my... KIDDING! And eww. I'm a Master Gardener for the state of Texas, and love love love to talk plants, offer advice, or point people to where they need to go. Just ask if you want to know/find something. I may not have it in my head, but I can find a source for you.


• I'm healthy, relatively sane (she says...), and am in a solid relationship. I tend to not whine on LJ, except in extreme situations. I'm all for the positive.


• I'm a Yellow Dog Democrat, and proud of it. My governor (will be) a cigar smoking Jew, if I have any say about it. Go Kinky.


• I am first and foremost a Texan. DO NOT diss my state without expecting some repercussions. I love it with every fiber of my being. I won't put your home down, so you know. Have manners. They're free.


• I have this weird thing about posting more than once a day - I don't like to. I feel spammy and obnoxious. If I do, for some reason, I'll apologize. It's a thing.


• I have two sisters online, one more than the other. That one is also in my RPG and is friggin' hilarious. The other sis is the "normal" one. We're trying to make her crazy like us, too.


• I love music. Correction, I love GOOD music. All kinds. All genres. I come from a family of musicians - although I am not one, I did try, however - and can talk Gounod to the Go-Gos, and everything in between. I'm always on the lookout for more.


• I love books and movies, and like to talk about them, but will start moving all of that discussion to my VOX account, so it's in one place. I have organizational issues.


• I am an atheist. I do not believe in a higher power. I do not denigrate those that do. I know it gives people comfort, peace, and purpose, and do not want to take away the shine. But please do not proselytize to me. I once was very religious, and I am just not anymore. I was raised Mormon. That is not entirely why I am an atheist, but it's a good start.


• I do not like Pina Coladas, and walking in the rain ruins my hair. I'm a bit weird about my hair. It's a Texas/Southern thing.


• I do, however, like tequila, and all drinks that can be made from it. Milagro Silver is a brand name everyone should try - it's a gateway tequila. Jose Cuervo is NOT a friend of yours. It's the devil.


• I normally do not put my X in the center square, because that's what they WANT me to do.


• When in doubt (or bored), MAHJONGG!

Questions? Comments? There's punch and pie in the breezeway... (and if you need to take me off your flist, really - no harm no foul.)

Comments

[brandil.livejournal.com]

I love how most of it boils down to manners. Is that Southern thing? Or a, my mama raised me right sort of thing?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha!! Yes, ma'am. For those of us in the south, it's both: a mama AND southern thing. (thang)

Like I tell my kids: manners are free. There's no excuse to not have some.

*pulls out your chair, kisses the top of your head.* So I was researching bondage knots today... *cracks up*

[wickedgrdn.livejournal.com]

Stoney, I think you're the coolest person on my flist. I heart you muchly. And the reading is always enjoyable. :)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*stops picking my nose* Hmmm? Heh. I'm a DORK!

[wolfshark]

*fangirls*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*sends you monthly check*

[going-not-gone.livejournal.com]

You forgot to mention:

VIAGRA, MUCHACHAS!!!!!


Also, I dedicated a drabble to you today, because you are so freaking cute. (http://community.livejournal.com/open_on_sunday/1613557.html)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You did?? HEEEEEE!!! *zooms!*

VIAGRA, MUCHACHAS!

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

If that's you in the icon those are some damn sexy glasses.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

'Tis me, 'tis me! ALthough I've retired those and moved to a green and brown pair that are more cat-eyed. Wheee glasses!

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

The way you are about Texas is the way I am about Alabama. Sure, my state blows sometimes but it is *my* state. I can make fun of it until I turn blue in the face but if a non-Alabamian disses it I will kick you in the shins.

Also, why you have to be such a h8ter? *defriends you like whoa*

:P

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*is filled with blinding h8t and RAGE, omg, cuts self to feeeeeel*

Yeah. What's REALLY fun is when people say Bush is a Texan. That's like me buying a car in New Jersey and saying I'm a Goodfella.

*changes your name to Flodene* <-- actual family nickname

[elucidate-this.livejournal.com]

yay tequila!!!! (though i like cuervo, it's both yummy and in my price range)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*weeps for your liver* But I understand.

*makes plans to send you the good stuff someday*

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

You had me at herd thinner.

Take a holt!

Work is nutso today.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*grabs holt*

Dubya tea eff,work? Dubya. Tea, eff. You've made it past the half-way mark, tho!

[beanbeans.livejournal.com]

*waves back*
YAY! All about that pretty gal I met at WC! :D
Thanks for sharing all these tidbits. You're delightful and I love your "live and let live" attitude. *glomps*

What do you think about Cabo Wabo? Me thinks it's a good tequila but waaaayy too pricey on account of the rockstar factor.
*goes to investigate Milagro Silver*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HI!!!

*squishes you, and reminds you of your ADORABLENESS*
*oh, and perfect hair*

Cabo Wabo? I've had it once, and thought it was decent. I've had better (at better prices, too.) I've found out (painfully) that my beloved Milagro is VERY pricey outside of Texas. It's about $25 bucks for a bottle here. If you can get your hands on Tres Generaciones, that may be my absolute most favorite tequila ever. *cough* It's not cheap, though.

Typically, I'll take a silver tequila (clear) over respado (yellow) because it's been filtered in a different manner. Smoother, and with a smokey taste, instead of the more acrid tang (like Cuervo).

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

*weeps* I didn't make your list of special people. *more weeping*

*cuts you with Brandi's knife and cuts you from my friends list*

Dude, the Mormon upbringing just explains everything about you. Chris's first girlfriend was a Mormon. He used to ride his bike to her house in the middle of the night, climb in her window, and have sex with her. When Chris and I started dating several years later, Mormon!gf from doing missionary work in Africa and my now MIL was so impressed with what a promising young lady she was (as opposed to me, of course). *rolls eyes* Oh yeah, good little Mormon girls brings non-Mormon boyfriend over to fuck in her parents house while everyone else is sleeping. That's a fine, upstanding young woman there. *more eye rolling*

Mmm. Tequila.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*POINTS TO POST - EDITED*

Hahaha! Now, keep in mind that I was a GOOD mormon girl. Like, EVERYONE in my high school knew I was pure and virginal, and mocked my boyfriend because he couldn't get any touch. Fast forward to my whore years. Wait...

But yeah - Mormon girls, when they turn, they get kinKAY. I love your story - man, that is SO TRUE.

*does a body shot*

[brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com]

Oh damn you. I was innocently browsing this, followed your mah-jongg link and have lost 90 minutes without noticing the time pass. And even as I type I'm twitching to get back to it. Evil. Pure evil.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

It is THE DEVIL. And the devil is my crack.

(God, I love mahjongg. Solitaire mahjongg is most satisfactory. If you find a support group, let me know.)

[swmbo.livejournal.com]

MILAGRO, FOREVER!!!

I have this weird thing about posting more than once a day - I don't like to. I feel spammy and obnoxious. If I do, for some reason, I'll apologize. It's a thing.

Isn't that weird? I am the same way. And I don't know WHY, but there you have it. And yet there are totally some people on my flist who could post five times a day and I'd be happy.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

MILAGRO!! (I'm weeping for those people who have mentioned the Jose Cuervo love. Do my words mean NOTHING?!? *cries*)

Same here! Some people post a bunch, and it's interesting every time. I feel all gratuitous and hand-wavy if I do it.

*makes us margaritas, because it is HOT*

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

HI STONEY HOW ARE YOU TODAY.

I'm happy to have you on my flist. I should defriend you so I can FRIEND YOU AGAIN. Never change. Have a great summer!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HI HI HI, T!!

you SHOULD defriend me! And then friend me again so I can preen and smile and re-read your whole journal like I'm getting to know you for the first time.

And yes, I just quoted Foreigner. Because I want to prove my kewlness. hahaha!!

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Mahjongg? You're actually a retired Jewish lady? (I remember my mom attempting to take it up, since everyone in her retirement communiity played. My mom came home, rolled her hands and said, "They all take it too seriously. Every time I tried to talk they shished me!" My mom was not Mahjongg material.)

We have to IM about music some night. I think I'll be doing my latest batch of reviews tonight if I get a chance.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ooh, joy! I'll look out for your post on music, absolutely!

And I like to think of myself as an elderly Chinese woman, wearing fabulous silk and smoking unfiltered cigarettes, except nothing there is true. MAHJONGG!!

[screaming-mimie.livejournal.com]

Tell Mr. Ferrell that Mr. Vaughn says hello.

Tall and funny unite.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, HELL yeah! Mmmm, tall and funny.

I miss our RPG. We need to gear up, don't you think? I'm getting to a place where I'm seriously missing it. *squishes you*

[cherusha.livejournal.com]

N EYE HART EWE, MAH SOOPER SEKRIT DUNGEON MISTRESS!


(Hoyes: Will Ferrell restores my faith in that peculiar animal they call Man, omg I will marry him. Or Jack Davenport. Or a combination of the TWO. *is ambitious like that*)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

WILL FERRELL MOVIE THIS WEEKEND, YES. (Will and his wife are having another baby, too! Awww.)

*cracks whip at you, rawr!*

[chantal87.livejournal.com]

*hearts you hard*
That is all...............

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I HEART YOU TUNZ.

OMG, when does school start in Deutchland? I have t-minus one week and six days, WOOT!

[coercion88.livejournal.com]

Heh. On the subject of purple, Thrusting Member is one that always gets me.

It's kind of funny that within the tiny A/C shipdom, there is an even tinier subset of Anne of Green Gables lovers. I can't even begin to imagine what the link is!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heee!! Man stick is one that gets me every time.

And it's because we're all hopeless romantics. hahaha! Or because Jonathan Crombie is gay, and represented our ideal. And if he were turned, he'd be a lot like Angel. *cracks up*

[bollix.livejournal.com]

Hi. I know Beth. & I think she is fucking hilarious, so I figured you would be too.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hello! She is fucking hilarious. Learned everything she knows from me. Except for that thing she does with a rubber duck and ping pong balls. She learned that from our mother.

*g*

[lynnenne]

You DON'T like pina coladas? And here I was all ready to put my ad in the newspaper. *defriends*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahaha - to the icon and to FOOLING YOU. As Sue calls them, pina coladas are the alfredo of the cocktails.

And email a'comin' to you!

[ex-dovil323.livejournal.com]

If I did have you on my flist I would flist you now.

Is it just me or does that sound kind of dirty?

You FANGIRLED me? You dork! I have no respect for you any more, but it's okay because I'm sitting here in a pool of urine so what would you care what I thought? Hahahaha!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

By "fangirl" I of course mean that I chuckled once to myself, and then commented. The rest, as they say, is urine and vomit soaked history. *omg ourluvissogross!*

I just finished eating a brownie, and I looked down to see brownie crumbs all over my boobs. I'm class in a can.

I would flist you. I would flist you so hard. [/Jame Gumb] Speaking of scary serial killers, I'm reading a book about the first US serial killer and it's FASCINATING. Mainly because of how he used the World's Fair to lure unsuspecting Victorian-era women into his clutches.

[terilyn4.livejournal.com]

Stoney, you are the coolest, funniest person I have friended and I love your posts. I too am a southerner (originally a Georgia Peach but now live in Tennessee) and my mama would whap me upside the head if I ever used a bad word. I still say yes ma'am and no ma'am to people.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Well, my mama taught me the best of my bad words, but I was raised to please and thank you, and to respect my elders and others. :)

Manners are free, people!

I bring you quotage from fic

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

Hi!

I don't comment often because I don't always have something worthy to say. Today I come bearing a quote from a Supernatural fic that just screamed 'Stoney!' when I read it, in that split second after copying but before closing the window forever (please gods, let it it be forever).

...he bit his lower lip and tasted blood, keeping himself from crying out in pain. Tears streamed down his face, sweat dripping from his brows, his whole body protested against the vile assault, his cock begging for release. Then his asshole unfolded like flower petals, letting Dean slide all the way in between his ass cheeks untill his heat surrounded Dean.

(There was also a bit about how Dean's cock slid into Sam between his bowels but I didn't remember to grab that bit. *sad sigh*

And it was not an intentional badfic, it was supposedly non-con porn. o.O

So, apparently, ass-petals make me think of you. But in a good way. :D

[chrisleeoctaves.livejournal.com]

You're kinda weird.

Oh. Did I say that out loud?

*hee*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

...

You're just figuring this out? Heh.

[floweringjudas.livejournal.com]

I am not letting myself click that Mahjongg link. I am not letting myself click that Mahjongg link. I am not letting myself click that Mahjongg link.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

DO EEEET!!!

CLEEEK!! (And you need to bring Depp out to play soon, yo!)