AN OPEN LETTER TO MY ARCH-NEMESIS

[stoney321]

Dear Hot Wind of 20 MPH:

So we meet again. Do I have to remind you that YESTERDAY was the official first day of Autumn? But this wouldn't be the first time you didn't take other people into consideration, would it? Of course not, you selfish bastard. That whole line "'tis an ill wind that blows no good" is all about you, isn't it? ISN'T IT?!?

Look. I'm training. I need to exercise outdoors. It's been wonderful for several days now. Bet that just pissed you off, huh? So today, the day I've decided to really push it, you come back from Mexico, or wherever you've been and just amp it up a notch by bringing hot humidity alongside your 20 mph self, huh? You're probably hanging out in the jetstream having a real laugh at my ponytail wacking me in the face, because it's not like you can just pick a direction and be done with it, nooooooo. You have to blow SSW one second, then whip around with the ESE confusion. You. Bastard.

So you know what? FINE. You win. Today didn't start off great, what with the Monster Freak-out™ from the boy over his missing shoes (outside by the trampoline - did I tell him three times to bring them in last night? Yes I did.), the fleck of syrup in the eye of #2 that resulted in caterwauling not seen since the rending of cloth and subsequent covering of ashes applied in 572 BC, Cradle of Life, aka Tigris and Euphrates river basin, and the Battle Over The Last Slice of Cold Pizza for Lunch, which resulted in NO ONE GETTING IT, OH MY GOD.

So you know what would have been nice? A good foot pounding on the pavement. Tension releaser. Endorphins. May this year's hurricane season REJECT YOU. I hope you stall out over the Gulf and never pick up steam. I hope you are mocked by butterflies and pelicans for your lack of loft.

May Tumbleweeds Lie Still In Your Stead,
Stoney


Also, it's not helping that I woke up before things got to the good part of my dream last night, the one with me and Stephen Colbert cheating on our spouses together. With his slightly stubbled cheek against my neck. The one obviously inspired by my late night viewing of an old SNL clip with my most favorite host ever, Alec Baldwin. (Canteen Boy and the Scoutmaster.) GRRRRRR. I don't want to be in a bad mood! *checks dl of last night's ep of The Office* 93%, hurrah!! (Man, I could NOT HEAR the beginning!! WHY DID THEY STOP KISSING?? - Don't tell me!! I'm re-watching....)

Comments

[likeadeuce.livejournal.com]

Hee hee.

Did you see Colbert put "irony" on notice? Now that's irony.

Sucks to the evil wind!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha - I loved his hotline so all the Jews who have wronged him can make apologies on this day of Rosh Hashana. Hahaha!

SCREW YOU, HOT WIND!!

[floweringjudas.livejournal.com]

...for the icon, basically.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heeeee!! Oh, Colbert. I want him to nuzzle my neck with stubble so I giggle and get covered in goosebumps.

[chrisleeoctaves.livejournal.com]

Feel free to send that hot wind my way- it was only plus 3 celcius when the kids headed off to school this morning.
I am wearing socks.
And a sweater.
And the best part- I have 7 more months of this crap to look forward to- possibly eight if we get the same shitty summer next year as we had this year.
So, boo hoo I say. *g*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

YOU COULD MOVE SOUTH TO TEXAS. That way, you'll get GOOD Mexican food. And only have one month out of the year that's inhospitable.

Oh, plus one day, which is TODAY. GARGH. (I don't know how you people live in the cold. I'm a wuss.)

[poshcat.livejournal.com]

I am wearing my fuzzy socks 24 hours a day, baby. Frost on the windshield this week. And there's still a whole day until autumn starts. Woe.

I'll move to Texas if you will. ::tags you::

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

The wayward wind, is a restless wind. A restless wind, that yearns to wander. It does not care that you have to train - it is as wild and untamed as an AU Angelus with a nun quota to meet. I could run after you with a parasol, mayhap?

Ack! Syrup in the eye! I kinda love you. Alot. A blessing on your run, and stop cheating on me with my TV boyfriend and his stubbled cheeks.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

A FLECK of syrup. Obtained by snapping the flip-top cap down "too fast." GOOD GOD I have WEINERS for children. Not even Oscar Myers. Those Bar-K cheap ass weiners made of pig lips and rectal tissue.

I AM A CRAB APPLE TODAY, GAH. I need Quincy Jones, STAT.

[brandil.livejournal.com]

Poor Stoney, mother nature's fucking with you again. So. Not. Fair.

<-- not today! Bah.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

SERIOUSLY! Mother Nature's a douche. Whyfore, MN? It's not like I haven't dedicated most of my adult life to MN's BENEFIT.

[leila82.livejournal.com]

But...but...that wasn't humid! It was windy out, yes, but not humid at all, because I wasn't drenched the second I stepped out, and I could breathe. I actually thought it was a nice day.

*has acclimated self to Houston humidty*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ah, but see, I don't live in Houston! I'm in DFW and it is DISGUSTING today. I woke up in a sweat and aggravated at midnight when the weather shifted and had to turn the A/C back on. GAH. *shakes fist at heat*

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Come here. It's quite nce today, got that slighty crisp fall thing going.

G-d doesn't dare do bad weather in NYC during the high holy days.

(That's actually true. I think it's rained twice in the last thirthy years on Yom Kippur and it's always beautiful on Rosh Hashanna)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

OKAY. *packs bags ASAP* Crap - except I have to be here today, because I'm the Library Mom.

TODAY GETS AN F. F minus.

[fiveandfour.livejournal.com]

My family's partial to Alec Baldwin and his Schweaty Balls (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7tCGWVf5Pw).

(Boy, there's a sentence I never saw coming.)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heeeeee!! I loved that skit, too. He did one once where it was a mockery of late night soap operas, and he was having an affair with everyone, men, women, and the family's Golden Retriever alike. Ahahahaha! He's SO FUNNY!

[crevette.livejournal.com]

I hear ya. We got a cold front through. It went to 69 degrees Wends night, and the coolness lasted TWELVE HOURS. TWELVE. I walked yesterday and it was gorgeous!

Tomorrow for my 22 mile slog? 92 degrees. "Higher than normal temps".

This had better be DONE by the 13th.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

92!!! Dude, that ain't right for that kind of walking.

I at least have a few more weeks than you. Mother Nature better cooperate, or I WILL NO LONGER RECYCLE. You hear me, bitch??

[xochitl42.livejournal.com]

Aw, it's one of them weird Texan autumns. I went through quite a few of those growing up in the Rio Grande Valley (go, Texsun!). I'm trying to remember if it indicated a whopper of a late season Gulf hurricane, but my memory's too fuzzy.

Nuts to your originating millibars, you foul intractable wind!

(Continuing good vibes towards all your hard training, despite the idiotic September heat.)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

BAH TO TODAY. It's a wash. And I have to go grocery shopping, and it's so windy I want to HIDE.

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

Hot and windy is a situation I can't get my head around, no matter how many times I've been in that situation, in Texas and Oklahoma and stuck in LA with a broken carand Santa Anna's.

It's supposed to get up to 68F here today, and in the seventies during the day by Sunday. I have a mind-blowing lily in bloom, and my camera is either dead or so sick as to make no never-mind.

Julia, it's a Lilium longicuspusXaurelius, white with a deep red throat, and I've lost the name

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Lillies blooming NOW? That's something I can't get my head around! :) Unless it's what's called a "Surprise" Lily or Sider lily. I ned to dig up the name - I can see the ground shifting in the bed, hopefully if we get rain tomorrow they'll shoot up. (Mine are blood red, not pink, however.)

[beanbeans.livejournal.com]

*sends the 44 degree temps we had this morning, omg BRRR*

You are in a bad mood after a stubble snuggle dream with Steven Colbert? HOW is this possible??? :P

*keeps you, and is grateful for you and your words liek whoa* :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*omg, takes that weather with JOY* Or you know, I'd go halfsies: my 97 today (seriously: WTF??) and that 44.

I woke up in a bad mood because it didn't get to the GOOD stuff! Heh. I was right. there. Hee!!

*squishes you* And seriously: I put my opinionation in my User Info. I don['t mind the lurkers at all. But don't be making messes in mah house. *head roll* Hahaha!

[anelith.livejournal.com]

You'd hate me if I told you how nice and cool and autumnal it is here today, wouldn't you? So I won't. Boo to the nasty hot wind! I hope you've had a chance to cool off, wind down, and relax. How was kindergarten library?

You and I have both had Shoe Incidents this week. Nathan came to me with his almost-new shoes and showed me that the velcro strap on the left one was almost half ripped through. What the... At first I was all indignant, why was an almost brand-new shoe so badly made? Ten minutes later as he ran out the door to ride his scooter my mind flashed to the way he drags that very foot to brake. He's been riding his scooter for hours every day these past few weeks. Bingo. Cross off the cost of one pair of shoes. Went out yesterday and bought another identical pair, and told Nathan two things: a) proper way to brake when riding a scooter, and b) the old almost-broken pair of shoes is his "scooter pair." At least until that shoe finally breaks.

*sigh*

Boys.

Great dream, by the way. Did you catch that Daily Show retrospective that showed Even Stephven, with Stephen Colbert and Steven Carrell? I never saw the Daily Show when they were on together. They were so, so good!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heee!! I did! I started watching TDS with Kilborn (who I do not like anymore AT ALL - what an ass.) I linked to one of those montage clips a few weeks back - or last week? It's different than the one they showed last night. I LOVE THEM, TOO!

And I swear to god - I'm about to start stapling the shoes to the child's feet. HE HAS THE ONE PAIR. (I took the flip-flops and sandals away to make things EASIER IN THE MORNING. Aaaaaaaand the joke's on me.)

HI! I'm working on some curry recipes for when you are here. I need to find out from Sue if she'll eat Indian...

[domenowtrent.livejournal.com]

I was informed by slasheuse that I should friend you. And here I am.


Hi!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heeee!! HELLO! (Omg, are you Lyssa at the Y? Laura's buddy? BECAUSE WE SHOULD TALK.)

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

It's nice and cool here. In fact, it's been snowing on and off. :)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm glad it's still pretty there! Hopefully this NASTY WEATHER will be gone by tomorrow afternoon. FEH. It got to 97! That's unacceptable for almost October, Sal!

[lynnenne]

Can you send the hot wind my day? 'Cause I had to play golf today in 63-degree weather, and I did not like it ONE BIT.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

OMG that is our Thanksgiving golfing temp! Mmmmm, 63. That sounds AWESOME.

(I've been told I will learn to play golf. Whether I like it or not is up to me. =/ )

[maegunnbatt.livejournal.com]

Well thank God I'm not the only one who has naughty dreams about Stephen Colbert.

And here I thought we had something special.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Naw, he's a total manwhore. At least, that's the tear-stained letter I got from Jon Stewart...

[mskakaako.livejournal.com]

OMG. The Office was so good. So what do you think? We need to discuss. HEEEEE! I loved Steve Carrell's performance and Jenna was also excellent. We need to talk about Dwight. HEE!!!

Stephen Colbert has non-matching ears you know. Heehee. I'm still all giggly from Thursday's season opener.

Oh, your present shipped. I got notification. Hope you don't already have one!!!