You want random? Oh, I'll give you random!

[stoney321]

For those who follow it (or did when I was better about it, ahem, ME.) I've updated my gardening blog. I'm waiting to hear back from the MG department to see if this can count towards my volunteer hours, whee! You can find it here. I'll be tinkering with the links all day - I want to get every state's extension agency posted. The plant finder link is a cool tool, as well.

In other news, I needed some gloves for working out, so I ran to Ross (dress for less!) the other day and scored a pair for FORTY-NINE CENTS. And they were nice fleece ones! I grabbed the other pair they had, too. \o/ I also picked up a new ball cap in a lovely lavender, girly shade. Which leads me to this:

Dear Titleist Hat,

We've been together a long, long time. Since the days Penn State hat fell apart on me, in fact. You're white, and not that color matters, because it doesn't! It doesn't. But because you're white, you made my head appear larger. Which, given that I have a Chihuahua head on a bull dog's body, it helped. Plus, you matched all of my exercise togs. You have a snap closure in the back, which makes wearing a ball cap and a ponytail a thing of EASE. I shaped your bill into a perfect letter C, and you've made me feel sporty, which I've adored. Because I'm kind of not.

I've loved that all of this about you, to the point where... You're falling apart.

Okay, so you've been falling apart for a while. I've refused to see it. The little tears here, the hanging threads... All I saw when I put you on was the pristine beauty that fit my skull perfectly. And as I mentioned, teeny wee-head, so that was the most important thing. And you didn't even come from the children's department like all the others! Remember the 3 Day? How you stayed on my head in blasting winds? Or what about all those times gardening, when you kept my nose from freckling? Ha ha, we've had some good times. And let's not even go into all the bad hair days you've spared me. *frowny chick smile*

Because of your golf association, I got hit on by a lot of older men, which skeeved me out. But I know you would have chosen the super hot guy at the UPS store to hit on me, if you could have. I appreciate that. You kept sweat from my face in the summer, and maintained the heat in my body in the winter. You covered up that weird zit once - srsly, thx - and yesterday, when I burned my forehead with my curling iron, you didn't laugh. You just covered up the mark and made me believe people would think it was a hickey. I needed that. (And honestly, who burns their forehead with a curling iron now a days? Sheesh.)

But, it's time to let you go. New Purple Adidas is flashier. More youthful. Her brim and cap actually connect all the way around, and she has no gross sweat stains. It's cruel, I know, but you should know the truth. I am totally trading you in for a younger model. If it helps... she puckers a bit over my ears, and you never did. Not once. *bites knuckle* I'll never forget you. Until I actually do, because you're a freaking ball cap.

[insert picture when camera phone decides to cooperate, zomg *Cartman "kehm ehhn" noises*]

All my love, except for what now belongs to Purple Adidas, and the love that always stays with Milagro Tequila, and... minus the portion that resides in the pantry waiting for me to open the new jar of chipotle salsa and eat loads of chips,

Stoney

*sings "I'm All Out Of Love"*




My dergie Sally has black toe knuckles. And one black toenail. The others are white. She keeps giving me her feet so I can verify, is what I'm thinking. My coffee mug got a scoop of Swiss Miss hot cocoa mix and THEN coffee. Clearly, today is a day for newness and innovation. And in conclusion, happy 8th, honey. <3

Comments

[beadbeauty.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary. Just wanted to post that. I haven't even read your above posting.... just wanted to send you happy thoughts of love. Now, make sure you show him how hot his body is. Oh how that makes me laugh. "Show me! DO it, do it. Do it."

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

That is disgusting.

Also, he is in TOLEDO. So I'll show the hot guy at UPS instead, 'kay? 'Kay. :D

[beadbeauty.livejournal.com]

I'm not thinking that's a good way to show him how hot his body is.... you know I'm referring to what my DH did on Saturday, right? "Now, show me how hot you think my body is!" It still makes me snicker!!!

Have fun when he gets back home for that 15 minutes before he leaves to buy you a watch. I have an icon of a woman that is making a similar face to your icon but she goes "EEEEwwww!" and it's got motion. It's to big for LJ though. I can't make it work. So sad about it. Oh well. I'll just show you mah greel.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ehn, what? Your husband and the other night huh? (Of course I knew. Eh. Wez. Jehken.)

Email me that pic and I'll fix it! Oooh, it's random barking time for Sally! Oh, I see. A dog is walking outside. OMG I MUST BARK AT IT SO IT KNOWS I EXIST!!

[beadbeauty.livejournal.com]

Not only that but do you have the evil mailman too? Marley protects me EVERYDAY from that wicked man. Kitty is a tough cat too. He protects us from the pigeons. He stalks them. I have Rambo pets.

Off to pick up the kids and a big fat bottle of wine.

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary!

The hat/cap thing is critical, at all times. Sorry the person who doesn't have exactly the cap they need.

Julia, who is currently enamoured of my pale-blue cashmere stocking cap, but that's because it's ugly outside

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!

And seriously, the hat thing. People MARVEL when they see how weetiny my skull actually is. (I have a lot of hair that hides it) A good cap is ESSENTIAL. I have a cute wool bucket hat for looking slightly better than "I've just finished scrubbing toilets" that I love. I fear the day it goes out of style....

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

I'm worse- I've got this passle of felt hats from the late eighties/early nineties which I keep sealed in bug-proof tubs against the day they come back into style. It's just sick.

This is aside from my every-day hats: five Mariners caps for gardening in different sorts of weather, the nice cashmere stocking cap and a scratchy tartan one I bought in Scotland (fit for the highlands in July and the PNW on the coldest days of winter) and a brown brocade and velvet church hat.

Julia, it's because I lose umbrellas, you see

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

**sings Happy Anniversary to you both a la The Flintstones**

Awwwww, cute that Sally shows you her feet!

Mochalicious to your cah-feeeyyyy!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*wriggles in time with your bee-you-tea-full singing*

She needs me to witness her feet! Have I told you she's a leaner? Like, you sit down and she scoots over close and does that "whumph" exhale noise and leans against your legs. Heeee!!!

Mmmmm, chocolate coffee!! Throw a naked man in there and you have a triumvirate of GOODNESS.

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

I love leaning dogs! I especially love it when it's big dogs who would almost knock me over, but they'd knock me over with their LOVE! Awwwww!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heee, that's just what she'd do, too!

*puts paw up for you to inspect*

[going-not-gone.livejournal.com]

So much of life is unreliable, so it's very reassuring to know that I can always count on you to be completely random.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*preens*

It's my duty in this life. :D

[anelith.livejournal.com]

Happy anniversary!!! And... happy New Hat Day! Though I feel I should put my hand over my heart and bow my head in a moment of silence for poor Titleist Hat.

*pause*

Ok, that's taken care of. Sally is so sweet! Hey, do you think she wants you to paint her toenails?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you!! And I've not been able to throw the hat away. It's sitting on my shelf, hee!

I don't know that I could bring myself to paint her toenails. I'm... not that sort. Ribbon on her collar? Yep! (Oooh, but no bandanas. I'm not that pet owner, either. *g*)

[anelith.livejournal.com]

We're not the painted toenails kind of pet owner either. We did put Soft Paws claw caps on our kittens, because we didn't want our new furniture to be shredded. Since they are indoor kitties it seemed rather inevitable. These Soft Paws come in colors and the vet asked me what color I wanted? I shuddered and said, "Clear, *please*."

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hee hee! I would have done the same. And that's a terrific idea! (They don't bite them off? My cats are nail biters. The little weirdoes.)

[anelith.livejournal.com]

So far, no nail biting. However, they do come off at varying rates. Sometimes we didn't put enough glue on and they come off in a matter of days. They are supposed to stay on for a few weeks. Best case scencario the cats will eventually shed them with the entire claw as new growth occurs.

The worst time we had was when Pye discovered the pole down in the basement that Ron had covered with swimming noodles, so that running kids wouldn't bash their noggins on it. Apparently swimming noodles make the most excellent scratching posts. UNLIKE sisal or other scratching post surfaces, noodles also pop those Soft Paws off really, really well. One entire paw's worth came off *pop* just like that. So -- I covered the bottom 3 feet of the pole in Saran Wrap, to discourage scratching. That pole looks really weird now.

What we do to keep our furniture unscratched.

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary!!!! ::throws confetti::

And happy new hat day!! ::blows one of those tooter horns with the feathers:: Pweeee!

Tooter. Sounds like "cooter." Heee. COOOTER!!! ::acts like a drunk Sharon Stone::

YOu know, I can't find my fave winter hat, the one that's a felted knitted cloche that is made of slightly metallic black yarn, so that because it's felted it looks like it has melted snow on it except for that it isn't wet.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!

COOTER! Never not gonna be funny... (I wish I knew how to knit a cap - I need to pull out my pattern book and teach myself how.)

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

It couldn't be that much harder than scarves, and if you choose a pattern which you can felt, many uneven stitches can be lost in the wash. :D


COOTER!!!

[luvxander.livejournal.com]

*gives you random huggles and lovins*

OMGZ!!! I want chocolate coffee with mens in it tooooo.

Awww, doggy knuckles. So cutish. My doggie likes to show me that her tummy is pink.

*pets the titleist hat, it's shaking and shivering and crying so hard, I think it'll just burst*

*more random huggles and lovins*

*secretly arranges for the delivery of your very own pole, to be used on the occassion of hubby's return*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha, how did you know I secretly wanted to be a pole dancer?? *puts on Prince's "Pussy Control"*
*or like, Mozart and shit*

I highly recommend the coffee and cocoa. Poured over men. Ungh. *squish squish squish*

[luvxander.livejournal.com]

It's not so much a secret when I was trying to help you find a pole at the writercon party.

mmmmm chocolatey coffee flavored Xander bits. Can't think of anything better.

[josieobsessed.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary! (and hot chocolate mixed with coffee is LOVE!)

Also--Ross! I love that place!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you! (Isn't it? YUM)

I don't usually like Ross, because I get hives from the stress of the HUNT, zomg. But when you need something simple, PERFECT!! (I'm the rare woman that hates shopping for myself, is all.)

[scribll.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link to the gardening blog. Very nice. Thanks for the tips on picking out plants. I've never inspected the roots before at the nursery and it might have saved me some disappointment.

And Happy Anniversary!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*cracks up at your icon*

Thanks for the well wishes, and I'm glad you find the gardening blog useful - it's pretty dry right now. I hope to get some more info up this weekend, most likely Sunday.

Checking the roots is one of the best things I learned, really. If the roots aren't healthy, the plant isn't, no matter how pretty the flowers look. It just won't perform well.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

I checked out the gardening blog and bookmarked it for next spring! I never knew how to look at the root system, that is very useful information. When I go shopping I'll definitely use this as a resource.

BTW, I think my rosemary bush is toast. We had some v. v. cold temps recently. Oh well, such is life in New England. It's kind of a relief to see things get back to normal. Although, normal would mean 2 feet of snow on the ground...

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Well, if it helps, I think mine might be toast, too. I didn't get it covered before the ice hit. But it's easy to pull it out and plop a new one in come March... :)

[my_daroga]

Happy anniversary! Really late! I was in Las Vegas, at a wedding, so I sort of celebrated with you. Only, two days later.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heh - thank you! That's very sweet. Yay, Las Vegas! That can be a fun place!

[my_daroga]

Haha, I HATE Las Vegas. I'd never been before. But I know now that it was specifically constructed according to mystical blueprints which ensure my Not Having Fun. Granted, I had a good time mocking everything, which is always awesome. But for someone who feels inundated while walking through Target, it was a bit much.

But all the porn was funny.