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stoney321But mostly me, because I'm selfish like that. Hogod, kink city. Ode to a chisled chest on a dirty boy.
So, for those of you that have seen me in RL, I'm pretty... normal looking. Like, chick next door-ish. Dare I say, with an America's Sweetheart type quality? *cracks up* That's what I've been told at any rate. I grew up a good girl. Straight A's, shy, went to church, buttoned my top almost all the way up, that sort of girl. Didn't sass back, didn't cause trouble, didn't get grounded. Often. I was the "safe" girl - parents loved me, friends used me to drive them home because I would always be the sober one. I was Vice President of Mu Alpha Theta, the Math Society. Hahahaha, NERD ALERT.
I was a Robert Smith listener. A Depeche Mode and Morrissey girl. I had these elaborate fantasies at age 14 of my crush requesting "I Want You Now" at the church dance (hahahaha, shut it) and looking at me like I was the most awesome thing on the planet in my splatter-bleached Jordache jeans and striped Madonna "Papa Don't Preach" shirt. I would finally, FINALLY kiss a boy. When I finally did get a boyfriend he was everything I wanted: tortured artist, Morrissey hair, Honors society. OH MY GOD, love.
But... there was another side to me. I distinctly remember one of the "burnouts" (metal guys) approaching me in a clandestine manner at my locker my junior year and asking if it was true I had a copy of the Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique" albums, and could I get him a copy? My boyfriend Michael didn't understand that I listened outside the realm of New Wave. But it wasn't just hip hop/rap.
10th grade. Marty McNeill, our school's first "out" gayboy, who was wearing a turquoise shaker-knit cardigan and U2 concert T (god, I remember this like it was YESTERDAY) pulled me down the hall towards the band hall - that was where the burnouts smoked before school started. He was all emphatic and said you have GOT to listen to this. He gave me his headset and it was "Welcome to the Jungle." I fucking love that song to this day. (Tiff, if you're reading this, what was "Whatever's" name? Kara? "Eh meh ghed, that's so sehd." Her? Hahaha.) My school was mostly filled with country-music listeners or New Wavers. There were a handful of Metal Heads, but that was Not Cool. I had to keep my newfound love for Metallica and Dio on the down low.
My senior year was my "screw up" year. I had the grades already, I was depressed about my family moving to California and leaving me behind, and I didn't care anymore. Enter David Campbell. Smart as HELL but even more sarcastic - he had to fail several classes to qualify for the C student slots in Academic Decathalon, as the A slots were filled. He brought the team to victory, Nat'l title, and won several thousand dollars on Jeopardy, too! David's best friend was dating my older sister and they were rockers. Homemade tats, long hair and sarcasm? Yes, please. They would skip last period and drive me home so we could drink beer and watch Jeopardy. Hahaha. The best part was the music they played when we drove away from school to my house. (Oh, I didn't drink. I just gave them my step-dad's beer. Nice.) We listened to heavy metal, rock, glam rock... I laughed at their Faster Pussycat albums, because even I knew they were total crap. I loved how I got to be sneaky and live on the "other side of the tracks."
When I graduated and moved out, my first roommate was a rocker-chick from Worcester, Mass. Wicked awesome. I have never seen bangs reach that height, and y'all, I'm from Dallas, where the hair don't get much bigger. :D (Tiff, Beth, do y'all remember Cheri?) She woke up every morning with two lines of coke and a cup of coffee. My little Mormon perceptions of the world were completely shattered. That was the year I witnessed the stupidest guy in the world (seriously, how he was able to breathe and walk at the same time is beyond me) completely empty the chamber on a 3-Liter pop bottle bong he'd fashioned. I'm still blown away by the lung capacity. WOW. I hooked up with a guy named Chris and was a real life groupie for his rock band. (Brandi? Just. Like. Sebastian. Bach.) I started dating this one guy (I can't even remember his name now) that was into heavier shit like Slayer and Megadeth. I found Pantera, and life was good. Went to some Danzig concerts.
Again, I look like I look. Long blonde ponytail, bright "oh my god, you guys!" smile, polo tops. Hahaha.
But this is what turns me on. And this. (good lord those THIGHS.) Or this - back when he still had his own face, omg. They are stinky, dirty, crude boys. Ungh. Tommy Lee probably has every single STD known to man, and possibly some primates. I would still fuck him. Double bagged, yes. But still. (Good lord, my EYES watered from the hot in that picture.)
And what?? What with the two boys tonguing each other?!?!
So there's the other thing. Not talking music, because I get that a lot of you are into very quiet, thinky music. Sure, sure. ROCKSTARS ARE TOTALLY GAY FOR EACH OTHER. They grind up against each other. They watch their band mates get sucked off by groupies. They thrust their tongues, cocks at one another in front of EVERYONE (Voyeurism kink, hello!) and drape their sweaty, hot bodies over each other while they "grind their axe." My head go splodey.
So yeah. My name is Stoney, and I am totally turned on by rotten, nasty, tattooed assholes who can fucking rock the stage and the bed.
Next kink up: my love of sweet, sensitive Dandies! Hahahaha.
So, for those of you that have seen me in RL, I'm pretty... normal looking. Like, chick next door-ish. Dare I say, with an America's Sweetheart type quality? *cracks up* That's what I've been told at any rate. I grew up a good girl. Straight A's, shy, went to church, buttoned my top almost all the way up, that sort of girl. Didn't sass back, didn't cause trouble, didn't get grounded. Often. I was the "safe" girl - parents loved me, friends used me to drive them home because I would always be the sober one. I was Vice President of Mu Alpha Theta, the Math Society. Hahahaha, NERD ALERT.
I was a Robert Smith listener. A Depeche Mode and Morrissey girl. I had these elaborate fantasies at age 14 of my crush requesting "I Want You Now" at the church dance (hahahaha, shut it) and looking at me like I was the most awesome thing on the planet in my splatter-bleached Jordache jeans and striped Madonna "Papa Don't Preach" shirt. I would finally, FINALLY kiss a boy. When I finally did get a boyfriend he was everything I wanted: tortured artist, Morrissey hair, Honors society. OH MY GOD, love.
But... there was another side to me. I distinctly remember one of the "burnouts" (metal guys) approaching me in a clandestine manner at my locker my junior year and asking if it was true I had a copy of the Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique" albums, and could I get him a copy? My boyfriend Michael didn't understand that I listened outside the realm of New Wave. But it wasn't just hip hop/rap.
10th grade. Marty McNeill, our school's first "out" gayboy, who was wearing a turquoise shaker-knit cardigan and U2 concert T (god, I remember this like it was YESTERDAY) pulled me down the hall towards the band hall - that was where the burnouts smoked before school started. He was all emphatic and said you have GOT to listen to this. He gave me his headset and it was "Welcome to the Jungle." I fucking love that song to this day. (Tiff, if you're reading this, what was "Whatever's" name? Kara? "Eh meh ghed, that's so sehd." Her? Hahaha.) My school was mostly filled with country-music listeners or New Wavers. There were a handful of Metal Heads, but that was Not Cool. I had to keep my newfound love for Metallica and Dio on the down low.
My senior year was my "screw up" year. I had the grades already, I was depressed about my family moving to California and leaving me behind, and I didn't care anymore. Enter David Campbell. Smart as HELL but even more sarcastic - he had to fail several classes to qualify for the C student slots in Academic Decathalon, as the A slots were filled. He brought the team to victory, Nat'l title, and won several thousand dollars on Jeopardy, too! David's best friend was dating my older sister and they were rockers. Homemade tats, long hair and sarcasm? Yes, please. They would skip last period and drive me home so we could drink beer and watch Jeopardy. Hahaha. The best part was the music they played when we drove away from school to my house. (Oh, I didn't drink. I just gave them my step-dad's beer. Nice.) We listened to heavy metal, rock, glam rock... I laughed at their Faster Pussycat albums, because even I knew they were total crap. I loved how I got to be sneaky and live on the "other side of the tracks."
When I graduated and moved out, my first roommate was a rocker-chick from Worcester, Mass. Wicked awesome. I have never seen bangs reach that height, and y'all, I'm from Dallas, where the hair don't get much bigger. :D (Tiff, Beth, do y'all remember Cheri?) She woke up every morning with two lines of coke and a cup of coffee. My little Mormon perceptions of the world were completely shattered. That was the year I witnessed the stupidest guy in the world (seriously, how he was able to breathe and walk at the same time is beyond me) completely empty the chamber on a 3-Liter pop bottle bong he'd fashioned. I'm still blown away by the lung capacity. WOW. I hooked up with a guy named Chris and was a real life groupie for his rock band. (Brandi? Just. Like. Sebastian. Bach.) I started dating this one guy (I can't even remember his name now) that was into heavier shit like Slayer and Megadeth. I found Pantera, and life was good. Went to some Danzig concerts.
Again, I look like I look. Long blonde ponytail, bright "oh my god, you guys!" smile, polo tops. Hahaha.
But this is what turns me on. And this. (good lord those THIGHS.) Or this - back when he still had his own face, omg. They are stinky, dirty, crude boys. Ungh. Tommy Lee probably has every single STD known to man, and possibly some primates. I would still fuck him. Double bagged, yes. But still. (Good lord, my EYES watered from the hot in that picture.)
And what?? What with the two boys tonguing each other?!?!
So there's the other thing. Not talking music, because I get that a lot of you are into very quiet, thinky music. Sure, sure. ROCKSTARS ARE TOTALLY GAY FOR EACH OTHER. They grind up against each other. They watch their band mates get sucked off by groupies. They thrust their tongues, cocks at one another in front of EVERYONE (Voyeurism kink, hello!) and drape their sweaty, hot bodies over each other while they "grind their axe." My head go splodey.
So yeah. My name is Stoney, and I am totally turned on by rotten, nasty, tattooed assholes who can fucking rock the stage and the bed.
Next kink up: my love of sweet, sensitive Dandies! Hahahaha.
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no subject
Date: 2007-02-02 06:34 pm (UTC)So yeah, I TOTALLY hear you on the bad boy thing, the guitar rockin' thing. And I'm sorry, but Axl Rose was ah-may-zeeiing! Oh, plus if you're from the area of MA that I'm from, you like Aerosmith. No matter what. And I've seen them four times in concert, from before their comeback to after, and they can really whale.
Rocker boys, tewtally hawt!
Hahaha to your icon choice
Date: 2007-02-02 06:39 pm (UTC)I LOVE AEROSMITH. Like, old school. My BFF had to confirm to my HS boyfriend that I liked them. Haha, he was all *shock!* And she goes, Dewd, I know. And I was like, but!
ROCKER BOYS. Good lord.
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Date: 2007-02-02 06:41 pm (UTC)Axl? My first 'I want him!'; and yes, I was barely 11, but I KNEW what I wanted dammit and I wanted that pretty man in the bicycle shorts, because... yeah. And I was nearly crushed to death at a Pantera concert and it is still one of the top 3 moments of my life.
*windmills*
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Date: 2007-02-02 06:43 pm (UTC)Dewd, YES. I remember talking to you once about that Pantera concert! *pours some out for Diceman* That happened to me at Danzig - I was so focused on how they have TWO DRUMMERS, so one can recoup while the other plays - that I didn't notice the crushing me zomg crowd. Yikes.
Axl, jesus, have you seen him lately? Yeesh. But back in the day when he played a rentboy looking to make it big in the city in the Welcome to the Jungle video? GOOD. FUCKING. GOD.
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Date: 2007-02-02 06:45 pm (UTC)Admittedly I did have a concussion and had been drinking, but still...
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Date: 2007-02-02 06:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-02 06:49 pm (UTC)You didn't even click on the links to the hot long haired boys, did you? *doesn't care* I'll just bask in your head-injury induced lurve. :D
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Date: 2007-02-02 06:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-02 06:52 pm (UTC)I like quiet music, but then again, I like almost every genre. I LOVE loud rock, but only when it's good. :D
(I didn't! Am googling now!)
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Date: 2007-02-02 06:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-02 06:57 pm (UTC)The very first song I ever headbanged to was Alice In Chains' "Would" and that song - to this day! - can get me up on my feet faster than anything. It changed my life. After AiC I got into Metallica and Danzig (MOTHER! TELL YOUR CHILDREN NOT TO HOLD MY HAND!) and Megadeth and so on and met my now-husband. I moshed! And while I'm geek material now, I was a million times worse as a teenager.
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Date: 2007-02-02 06:58 pm (UTC)::shudders with revulsion but not too much revulsion because I would fuck Tommy Lee until he was all Pamela who? but double bagged, definitely I know for a fact he has hepatitis.::
The boys that I'm hot for, are we what called "skoady" back in the day. Their hair can be either short, shaved, or long - it doesn't matter 'cause they always looked a little dirty. They had tattoos or piercing or both back before that stuff was mainstream. They carry knives in their jeans, guns in the cars, and baseball bats/long wooden sticks affectionately called something I would never repeated on LJ. They were more interested in cars, sports, and/or music than they ever were in school. They had little to no parental supervision, skipped school, smoked, smoked pot, drank, drank at school, and spent a lot of time in ISS. They got into fights, constantly.
Funny 'cause I was an honor roll student, cheerleader, president of my Youth group at church, yearbook editor (though not chief editor) and the credits go on and on.
I'm still attracted pretty much only to those boys. Lots of the ones from back then have been to prison. PRISON. More than lots have gone to jail, and a couple are dead. Yet here I am, still goody goody with a couple notable exceptions.
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Date: 2007-02-02 06:59 pm (UTC)But I can't remember ever having the hots for rockers. In high school, anyway.
The boys I dated were...geeks. I really had a thing for beautiful eyes that led me to go out with some real goobers, and a jones for smart boys that made me realize that just because a boy was smart did NOT mean he was a)sensitive or b)had any sort of social skills. Nuff said?
I always pined for the artistic types, but none of them ever, ever, ever wanted to date me. It was all the scientists and mathematicians who were lined up to ask me out. (Yep. Married a chemist. Still sigh over the artsy-fartsy IBCs.)
Now, college? I finally realized that what I really loved about men were big noses. No, seriously. Dustin Hoffman, Andy Garcia, David Tennant, Manly...
As far as rock singers went, in college I had a serious crush on Danny Elfman (yes, I know.), Joe Jackson's voice, and the other guitar player from The Police. Also, Peter Buck from REM and Gordon Gano from the Violent Femmes.
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Date: 2007-02-02 07:00 pm (UTC)Hahaha, one of my great "loves" made me a mixed tape (boy, does that make me feel old) and "Would" was on it. I LOVED ALICE IN CHAINS.
I was too chicken shit to really mosh (omg, pain hurts me!) but I loved the energy. I LOVE METAL! \m/
(You do realize this is my thinly veiled way to get more people into Metalocalypse, right? heee!)
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Date: 2007-02-02 07:01 pm (UTC)*shudders*
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Date: 2007-02-02 07:04 pm (UTC)SKOADY! I love that word. Aw, I remember tattoos before they were kewl. That's when I got mine, too.
ISS. Brandi, you are bringing me back. I need to pull my yearbook and check the mullets of hotness from back in the day. Mmmm. Long, soft hair on boys.
And here I am, happily married to an accountant. (If you start watching Metalocalypse, he's like Charles Ofdensen. This will make sense one day.)
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Date: 2007-02-02 07:08 pm (UTC)And see, I pretty much dated nothing BUT artistic sensitive boys until I got on my own. And then I started having a lot of fun. But the geeks/smarties are who tended to ask me out. I... I had to do a lot of asking on my own. I either a) intimidated guys (really? HOW?) or b) liked boys that knew I was a "good girl" and so wouldn't go for me. *shrug*
I am TOTALLY on board with the nose thing. Seriously. And Danny Elfman is AWESOME! (As for The Police, it's all about Stuart Copeland for me. Holy god. My husband has promised me that we'll go see them on this new tour they're setting up.)
VIOLENT FEMMES. Now you're talking. Man, they are STILL so good.
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Date: 2007-02-02 07:09 pm (UTC)I've always been rather partial to a Vince Neil/Brandi/Tommy Lee three some. Or hell, invite a couple of the other boys I mentioned earlier and we could have just had a gang bang. That would have been FUN!
ISS. I don't think they have that anymore, or they call it something else or something.
Dude. I remember the days when there was a fucking "Smoking Section" in high school for the STUDENTS. All my boys where there. But not me! Even though I smoked, because I didn't smoke at SCHOOL where my teachers could see me. I didn't smoke ANYWHERE it could get back to my folks.
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Date: 2007-02-02 07:11 pm (UTC)MY GOD. Just... Wow.
RIGHT!! That back door at my school was the smoking section!! Just... WOW, times have changed. (And the kids in the know were friends with the Art/Ceramics teacher, because you could get high in the kiln room with him. :O)
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Date: 2007-02-02 07:16 pm (UTC)The gang bang throw you off?
By the time I was LEGALLY old enough to smoke, the smoking section was gone. Times, they are a changin'
WARNING: THIS COMMENT IS FULL OF TMI
Date: 2007-02-02 07:22 pm (UTC)This is like saying the pope is pretty...catholic. Normal people aren't stunningly beautiful like you. It's one of the many reasons you are completely abnormal.
She woke up every morning with two lines of coke and a cup of coffee.
DUDE. I totally had a dream last night about snorting coke. I've never done coke (not because I'm that good, but because I always felt drugs were for mellowing you out), but my dream was completely detailed: cutting the line with a razor blade, snorting it, sniffling to get it all in, heart racing. The reason for the dream is rather mundane: I've had the worst cold and couldn't breathe. I sleep with a CPAP mask and have to breathe through my nose. So I was constantly waking up to snort and try to clear my breathing passages so I wouldn't suffocate. Thus dreaming of snorting coke.
When I was in high school I had a thing for gay boys, but I didn't really understand until I saw "My Beautiful Laundrette." Daniel Day Lewis suddenly pulls Gordon Warnecke into a doorway and kisses him breathless and I realized: THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE MEANING OF LIFE. PRETTY BOYS KISSING EACH OTHER BREATHLESS. Seriously, it was a complete epiphany for me. Which is how I ended up with Essene. We are both gay men trapped in women's bodies. Plus, have you seen that girl's rack? Guh.
I completely need an icon of DanRad's happy trail because if he'd been around when I was a teenager, I would have discovered masturbation waaaay earlier.
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Date: 2007-02-02 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-02 07:28 pm (UTC)And Appetite for Destruction is such a great album. I love "Welcome to the Jungle" and "Sweet Child O' Mine". I actually bought that album on cassette for my stepfather when it came out. We both (my stepfather as well as Chris and I) have it on CD now. Love it. Although I prefer Pyromania and Hysteria by Def Leppard.
I might have to put on some serious rock music this afternoon.
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Date: 2007-02-02 07:29 pm (UTC)That's an intense dream! (I've not done coke either.) I've had dreams for the past two days of being a "roadie" for a made up cartoon band. Yeah, I need some therapy for that one.
ANd YES YES YES YES!! My Beautiful Laundrette! Oh holy mary, that scene is breathtaking. (And I remember seeing My Own Private Idaho with my boyfriend and his BFF, and I suspected they were gay for each other when I wasn't looking. I... may have just moaned out loud.)
I am not even going to act like I am not turned on by DanRad's hair. Both his treasure trail and the wee-tiny V in the center of his chest. I dun care who knows - I would touch that. And more. Gah.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-02 07:33 pm (UTC)