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stoney321This post works best when read in a Jacque Cousteau voice. Ev-air-ee sing you read 'ere is ze complete and unadulterated trooth.
Day four 'undred and sairty-sree. We are under seige from ze She Beast, she 'oo gives no quartaire. We sought zat lobbing 'er like an 'and grenade would be ze end of all of our troubles. We were wrong. So very wrong...
In ze middle of ze night, (okay, can I stop ze Franch? Bon.) two nights ago we heard a horrible sound - the sound of a dying giraffe. But how could that be? There are no giraffes in North Texas. The next morning, I would have sworn I heard a lost child's terrified crying, but I could not locate the sound. Also, I was eating chips, so... *shrug*
Last night, as my husband mowed the lawn and edged under the side yard's bushes, we saw... HER. Clearly she had finished off the neighbors - who are old; their meat must be stringy and unsatisfying - and evidently she was looking for something... jucier.
This is what we found:
WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!? The family down the street has three of these, so I don't think they'll miss little Timmy. Or Billy. Jon? But what about ME? I have to listen to this kid as its life is slowly drained away by Shelob. This is highly inconvenient.
So, we called in reinforcements:
And not a moment too soon as you can see, because a busload of nuns had - at the very moment the soldiers arrived - driven past the forty foot web. WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE NUNS? Look at the evil maw on that creature! And the spider is horrifying, too. [/rimshot]
Okay, truth time. We DID find Aragog yesterday while mowing, and she's taken up residence on the side of the house and already had a few grasshoppers bound up. YAY SPIDER. Just don't eat my face, kthx. ALSO! I harvested all of my pumpkins (40!! 40 frickin' pumpkins that I didn't plant! Who wants pumpkin butter?) and let the Mister mow back where they were growing. As he got the grass down from two feet to ground-level, he saw something squirming in a hollow in the grass. BRAND NEW BABY BUNNIES!!!
(Um, my husband was freaking for hours, worrying that he might have... mowed them down. :( He did not, and they were fine.) Little, hairless, naked bun ears (!!) and no mama cottontail to be found. We were worried sick that we had chased her off. We gathered all of the animals and kids, put everyone on strict instructions to not go in the backyard so Mama Bun would come out of hiding and move her babies on her own. HOURS went by, and we were getting very nervous for them. They looked only hours old. We ran to the pet shop and got ER food and eye droppers, in case Mama didn't show up by nightfall. I snuck out and checked by 10 last night (we were watching the meteor shower) and saw her moving the last one under our big cypress tree. *WHEW*
Now I don't know whether to keep my eyes peeled for a back-flipping pig or a large rat named Nicodemous next. I think I'd rather live in Nimh than Charlotte's Web, truth be told. Hmmm, I did see a power cord running out towards the vegetable patch... (Wait... Am I Mr. McGregor? I'll check to see if these bunnies start wearing bluw coats and clogs.)
This post brought to you by the "Foundation for People Sick of Bloggers Blogging About Livejournal and Nothing Else," an "It's A Million Degrees Outside" Corporation. :) (And a happy belated birthday to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rainkatt!)
[ETA] Note: I am ONLY posting to LJ unless it's fic, which goes to IJ (stoney) but I will link HERE that I've posted... something. I'm not big on spamming flists, you see.
Day four 'undred and sairty-sree. We are under seige from ze She Beast, she 'oo gives no quartaire. We sought zat lobbing 'er like an 'and grenade would be ze end of all of our troubles. We were wrong. So very wrong...
In ze middle of ze night, (okay, can I stop ze Franch? Bon.) two nights ago we heard a horrible sound - the sound of a dying giraffe. But how could that be? There are no giraffes in North Texas. The next morning, I would have sworn I heard a lost child's terrified crying, but I could not locate the sound. Also, I was eating chips, so... *shrug*
Last night, as my husband mowed the lawn and edged under the side yard's bushes, we saw... HER. Clearly she had finished off the neighbors - who are old; their meat must be stringy and unsatisfying - and evidently she was looking for something... jucier.
This is what we found:
WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!? The family down the street has three of these, so I don't think they'll miss little Timmy. Or Billy. Jon? But what about ME? I have to listen to this kid as its life is slowly drained away by Shelob. This is highly inconvenient.
So, we called in reinforcements:
And not a moment too soon as you can see, because a busload of nuns had - at the very moment the soldiers arrived - driven past the forty foot web. WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE NUNS? Look at the evil maw on that creature! And the spider is horrifying, too. [/rimshot]
Okay, truth time. We DID find Aragog yesterday while mowing, and she's taken up residence on the side of the house and already had a few grasshoppers bound up. YAY SPIDER. Just don't eat my face, kthx. ALSO! I harvested all of my pumpkins (40!! 40 frickin' pumpkins that I didn't plant! Who wants pumpkin butter?) and let the Mister mow back where they were growing. As he got the grass down from two feet to ground-level, he saw something squirming in a hollow in the grass. BRAND NEW BABY BUNNIES!!!
(Um, my husband was freaking for hours, worrying that he might have... mowed them down. :( He did not, and they were fine.) Little, hairless, naked bun ears (!!) and no mama cottontail to be found. We were worried sick that we had chased her off. We gathered all of the animals and kids, put everyone on strict instructions to not go in the backyard so Mama Bun would come out of hiding and move her babies on her own. HOURS went by, and we were getting very nervous for them. They looked only hours old. We ran to the pet shop and got ER food and eye droppers, in case Mama didn't show up by nightfall. I snuck out and checked by 10 last night (we were watching the meteor shower) and saw her moving the last one under our big cypress tree. *WHEW*
Now I don't know whether to keep my eyes peeled for a back-flipping pig or a large rat named Nicodemous next. I think I'd rather live in Nimh than Charlotte's Web, truth be told. Hmmm, I did see a power cord running out towards the vegetable patch... (Wait... Am I Mr. McGregor? I'll check to see if these bunnies start wearing bluw coats and clogs.)
This post brought to you by the "Foundation for People Sick of Bloggers Blogging About Livejournal and Nothing Else," an "It's A Million Degrees Outside" Corporation. :) (And a happy belated birthday to
rainkatt!)[ETA] Note: I am ONLY posting to LJ unless it's fic, which goes to IJ (stoney) but I will link HERE that I've posted... something. I'm not big on spamming flists, you see.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 03:15 pm (UTC)OMG So I was just in my garage and a HUGE spider crawled down from the ciling right in front of me.. and it was eye level.... and I screamed "SPIIIIDERRR" at the top of my lungs. My brother just laughed.
Baby bunnies are teh adorablez.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 03:20 pm (UTC)Oh, the buns were SO SWEET. All teeny and wriggly and with wee little ears! Now to keep my serial killing cat indoors so she doesn't hunt them... =/
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Date: 2007-08-13 03:15 pm (UTC)And even if I was a trained army commando, and was armed to the teeth and even had a snazzy little helmet and I cam around a corner and say that. I whould shit myself, grab ths spider and run.
No really the spider actually is scarier.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 03:16 pm (UTC)CAME around a corner and SAW that
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 03:19 pm (UTC)Is Aragog merely trying to lull you into a false sense of security before it strikes once more? I think so. WATCH YOUR FACE, STONEY.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 03:23 pm (UTC)...I may start hissing, "chee chee chee, ahh ahh ahh" while stalking about with the mask on and the knife.
(Or am I mixing my scary movies? No, Jason had the hockey mask. Michael had the Leatherface white thingy.)
I think the kids and I might watch Nimh today! I LOVE IT, TOO.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 03:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 03:54 pm (UTC)*cries*
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Date: 2007-08-13 03:43 pm (UTC)come over here (http://sweptawaybayou.livejournal.com/370231.html?view=4892983#t4892983) and we'll talk about spiders.
:D
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Date: 2007-08-13 03:51 pm (UTC)Ours is the size (roughly) of my hand, spread. AHHHHHHH!!!!
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Date: 2007-08-13 03:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 03:53 pm (UTC)And thank you very much for the b-day wishes! Does it help you to know I'll be playing OLDER than my actual age in an upcoming movie? Doesn't it usually work the other way around? o_0
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Date: 2007-08-13 03:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 03:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 04:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 05:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 04:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 05:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 04:05 pm (UTC)And I think it's so cute that Mr. S was all freaky outy, poor guy. You've got an awesome, handsome dork there, babe. You're ALL adorkable ::ruffles everyone's hair::
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Date: 2007-08-13 05:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 04:12 pm (UTC)And HEE! Your posts
alwaysusually start my morning with a laugh.no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 05:28 pm (UTC)*tickles*
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Date: 2007-08-13 04:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 05:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2007-08-13 05:18 pm (UTC)Happy belated birthday!
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Date: 2007-08-13 05:31 pm (UTC)Thank you very much for the birthday wishes! *hugs*
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Date: 2007-08-13 06:02 pm (UTC)Baby bunnies make my day so very much better - thank you!
*G*
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Date: 2007-08-13 06:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 06:20 pm (UTC)And thank you for being calm and rational about LJ.
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Date: 2007-08-13 06:30 pm (UTC)Baby bunnies!!!! They are so sweet. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 06:25 pm (UTC)*wibbles*
SO reading the tags at the bottom of your page before I click on your cuts.....*headdesk*
Dude. Flashback.
*shudders*
ps-you can spam my list all fucking day, chickie. i'm good with that.
and omg! isn't the heat horrible? i'm presently just damn.fucking.glad. there isn't a storm in the gulf right now.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 06:32 pm (UTC)And the heat is ROTTEN. We're in our triple digits. It's almost too hot to walk from the pool chair to the pool. (Ahahaha.)
How pathetic that I'm already dreaming of fall. (Um, it has NOTHING TO DO with the kids going back to school. Ahem.)
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Date: 2007-08-13 06:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 06:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 06:55 pm (UTC)Mr. S. Definitely. (Hee!)
Mmmmm, black berries!!! I love blackberries. Once we get our pool/bakyard done, I plan on planting some blackberries and figs. Glah, I love fresh food!! Mmmmm.
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Date: 2007-08-13 08:28 pm (UTC)I know it's just pictures, but even still I'm shuddering here from those spider shots.
::Shudder::
::Shudder::
I DON'T LIKE SPIDERS. I'm sure they have a thing or two to say about me and my bloodthirsty habits when it comes to shooing them away, too, so we do our best to live separate lives. We're both happier after the separation, I'll put it that way.
::Shudder::
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Date: 2007-08-13 09:58 pm (UTC)And I'm all for them living their lives far away from my beehive hairstyle and sleeping mouth. FAAAAAAAR away.
(no subject)
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Date: 2007-08-13 08:33 pm (UTC)ACK! IT feeds and breeds! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL ARAGOG!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 09:56 pm (UTC)I CANNOT KILL ARAGOG! [/Hagrid] She's my friend! *cries*
Now, if you have a basilisk swanning about, I'll take that. :)
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Date: 2007-08-13 09:36 pm (UTC)2nd of all, I clicked on the link and Sam said "WHY IS THAT KID IN A WEB?" and we all started cracking up.
3rd of all, you are slightly in need of the short bus. That spidddahhh isn't going ot hurt you. It won't eat your face. Kill it and be done with it. Or, let it be... let it be.... let it beeee yeah let it be? Listen to words of wisdom... let it beeee EEEHHHH!!!
4th of all, we have 7 days of summer left. Today we went to Sunsplash (like Wet n' Wild) and totally did a Clark Griswold. Pulled into the parking lot and thought "WOOHOO! WE HAVE THE PARK ALL TO OURSELVES" unloaded the kids... and lo and behold- THE PARK WAS CLOSED FOR THE SUMMER. All lifeguards back to school so no swimming. So we went to the FREE park that is geared for 2-4 year olds that have water squirting out of the ground. It was 112 today.
I
Am
SPIDAAAHHHHHHHHHH
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Date: 2007-08-13 09:54 pm (UTC)2. Tell Sam it's because the child DROVE HIS MOTHER CRAZY AND IS BEING PROPERLY PUNISHED FOR NO QUIET TIME IN THE HOUSE.
3. Uh.... isn't it clear that I've let it be? Are you against humor? Have you completely lost your funny, Tiffychelle? Because that is sad. Thahts sahd.
(no subject)
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Date: 2007-08-14 02:11 am (UTC)2) Bunnieeeeeeeeeeeeeees. omg I want to cuddle them so much. Despite the massive outbreak of hives that would result.
3) I have a very amusing birthday card for you. I should probably get off my lazy ass and send it so that you can appreciate its amusingness as well (hope you had a very wonderful birthday! :D ).
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Date: 2007-08-14 12:17 pm (UTC)2) allergies? Awww. I have Claritin. *thrusts two weetinys into your palm* They are sew wriggly and schmall!
3) You do?!? Aw, you're the best. If you don't get to the P.O. (I have that same disease) I will admire your awesomeness from afar, (I had a terrific birthday, thank you!)
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Date: 2007-08-14 02:56 am (UTC)It's not pretty in my head right now.
And you sound more like Sasha (via Talledega, WHICH I CAN'T STOP WATCHING) than under-water explorer, btw.
It could be that I'm watching too much Talledega, though.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-14 12:15 pm (UTC)And there's no such thing as too much Talledega! Mmmmm, Sacha. I use his Ali G icon to take away the horror from your mind. :D
Bunnehs!
Date: 2007-08-14 04:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-14 12:12 pm (UTC)