Rubbernecking

[stoney321]

I spent waaaaaay too much time yesterday reading the new MsScribe wank. (I needed a distraction after watching a nature show where Orcas were hunting. *cries*) And I figured out who she reminds me of: my weirdest roommate EVAH.



What's astounding is this roommate - we'll call her M - beat out my Satan-worshipping, coke snorting, hair ratting, heavy metal rocker chick roommate from WUHstah, Mass. Quite an accomplishment. Anyway, M moved into my dorm room (after my first dorm-mate left school from a head injury. I DID NOT CAUSE THE HEAD INJURY. Even though it would seem that I had after she slipped a pet rat into the shower with me for "laughs." She wiped out on a mountain bike. I DID NOT TAMPER WITH THE BRAKES. Ahaha. Ahem.)

M was... different. She was from Portland, WA, and evidently was BFF with: Eddie Veder and Pauly Shore. (Okay, I can see why - in the early 90s - you'd want to be friends with Eddie Veder, but Pauly Shore? Isn't there anyone cooler?) She also had a boyfriend back home, and she showed me his picture. He was hot. He was magazine model hot. He actually WAS a magazine model. (We'll get to that later.) Not to be too unkind, M was... not hot. Not by a long shot. Male model (and let's face it - most of them are gay) vs. strangely shaped, no social skills M. *scale hands*

BUT. I was a person of faith, and encouraged her to join me and my friends for outings, etc. Conversations were dominated by talk of her BFF, Eddie Veder. She also was the type that turned everything into a negative or a Debbie Downer mood.

Friend: Man, I was rock climbing today and I totally thrashed my leg! *beams, because is proud of the climb and wound, just like a boy*
M: Eddie Veder and I knew someone that climbed that very one and fell to their death. They also landed on the last Condor, and now they're extinct. But I'm glad you climbed it. And didn't kill anything. This time.

o_0 My friends asked me soon after to stop inviting her along.

She started getting LOADS of calls from Eddie and her boyfriend. Now, I never heard the phone ring for these calls. She claimed that she knew when they were calling and picked up the phone before the first ring could "get going." I'd come back from the vending machines or whatever, and she'd be on the phone, laughing and chatting away. *shrug*

She started getting LOADS of letters and pictures from her boyfriend. Remember how he was a male model for various magazines? The pictures he sent her were basically pics from magazines, cut out and glued on index cards. Cards she was using for an outline in one of her classes. Also, the envelopes - which she thumb-tacked to her cork board so everyone could see all of her letters - were addressed to her from him. In... her handwriting. And there weren't stamps. Or that post office code thingy along the bottom, showing it was sorted and, you know... MAILED.

One time I came back from someone's dorm and she didn't expect me, and she grabbed the phone really quick and started laughing hysterically, telling Pauly Shore to "quit it, ahaha!" O_O I grabbed my wallet off my desk (next to the phone) and could hear the "EHEHEHEHEHEHEH" noise the phone line makes when you leave it off the hook. How sad.

She started taking my car out while I was in class - without permission. She started wearing my clothes - without permission. (Um... She was half a foot shorter than me, so... Why was she borrowing my jeans?) She started sleeping in. To the tune of 18 hours a day. She hid food in her bed so she wouldn't have to get out of bed to get it. And... would leave the half-eaten food containers all over. >.< I was seeing a guy by this time (We'll call him ESL. He was very pretty, very... skilled, but very dumb.) and she'd flirt openly with him when he came by to pick me up. Or would come over and sit on MY bed if WE were sitting on it.

When she started getting letters every day from her boyfriend, and she couldn't stop talking about how much in love they were, and how they were going to get married, and maybe she just wouldn't finish college after all so they could be together, I got the Dorm Mother to intervene with counselors. And... move her out. Sorry, I'm not a therapist. She moved in with another girl that was having problems *facepalm* and started up her Eddie Veder stuff again, from what I heard. All of this took place during one semester. Oy.

So... she's like the Mini Me version of MsScribe. I'll say this about MsScribe: she's FAR MORE entertaining that M. (Because she just really needed some help.) And so I don't post a total Debbie Downer post, I'll leave you with this vid, one of my faves, He Man singing 4 Non Blondes. :D

PS: Oh! I forgot to post the answer to my poll yesteday :
1. sock, shoe, sock, shoe. (what if there's a fire, and you're running around in two socks? If you have one shoe on, you're halfway there!)
2. immediately after eating (would also accept before bed and morning)
3. krunked up.
4. drunk and hiiiiiiiigh (ahaha)
5. all answers are correct
6. West Coast, West Coast, stoooop!
7. all of these are true, and it's the same person. (Man, he gave me HOURS of entertainment. Hoo boy!)

Comments

[chantal87.livejournal.com]

Bless your heart. I knew a girl in high school who told everyone she was engaged to Leif Garrett. This was 1985. (ten years after Leif Garrett was a pin-up, if you will.)

I haven't had a chance to catch up with Ms.Scribe in quite a while. At least I will have some fun weekend reading.
:-)

[wolfshark]

*blink*

*blinkblink*

That's just... special.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I loved coming back from a lab and finding a Post It note saying that she had taken my car. To another city.

!!!

Oh, and there would be, like $1.83 in nickels and pennies to cover gas.

[rahirah]

My weirdest roommate saved used tampons in her dresser drawer. I got out of there as fast as possible after discovering that.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Buh... wha?!

Okay, now I'm happy that my weirdest roomate was just a raging slut who blackmailed her father for money.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

When the HPers began going at it on F_W it sucked a lot of the fun out of it. Instead of just pointing and laughing at the crazy the craziness began playing out in real time on F_W.

The woman really is a piece of work, though. It's like she is the prime example for "Listen up kiddies, there be nutcases on the internet. If you don't believe me, look at this!"

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

One blessing from MsScribe: you can always have someone worse off/crazier than you. Unless you're Ms Scribe. :D

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's. Man.

That's impressively speshul right there.

(did she ever get serious help? Because she sounds like she really needed it D: )

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I totally heard Twilight Zone music when I walked in and heard the "off the hook noise" coming from the phone.

AND SHE WAS STILL "TALKING" TO EDDIE VEDER. o_0

(Don't know. She eventually dropped out and went back home to her parents.)

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

You probably should win a prize for bad college roomate.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

If it's not a monthly Cheesecake prize, can it be a cash prize? :D

[tinpanalley.livejournal.com]

My weirdest roommate in college wanted to become a nun (she received the calling while listening to a country song). She hung a humongous crucifix over her bed and would sprinkle me with holy water when I said something she didn't like. She also bought tons of porn videos and would rent them out to random guys who came to our dorm. And, she would, of course, watch the porn herself while drinking White Russians. I once walked into the common room with friends just as the "money shot" was happening. Needless to say, my friends were hesitant to walk into my dorm again after that. Thankfully, it only lasted a semester before she dropped out.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I like how she would watch porn. Just like all nuns I've known.

There were LOADS of religious weirdoes (it being practically a religious school) where people got revelations, and one professor spent a lecture hour telling us the truthfulness of Mormon Doctrine instead of teaching us botany. :O

[adnault.livejournal.com]

Ahhhh the crazy. Well at least you had the joy of knowing an actual crazy instead of just an asshole.

I had a friend in Middle School who SWEARED she had her virginity taken by the cute kid on Boy Meets World. I didn't have the heart to point out to her that she was a relatively ugly specimen of the Pilsberry Dough Girl. If you're going to lie about how cool you are, at least make it remotely believable.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

The coke-head rocker was an asshole - fun while she was drinking, a bitch when she was wired. I'm not sure which I prefer...

And the guy on Boy Meets World?!?! Wow. It's so WEIRD how these people think we'll believe them. Just... how delusional can a person be?

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Do you possess a special "attract crazy people" vibe? And does this mean that I am a crazy person?

Oh no. You'd tell me, wouldn't you?

My college roomie wanted me to become a holly roller so I wouldn't go to hell. Not insane, just annoying. I was in a single after that point.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

"Do you possess a special "attract crazy people" vibe?"

You know, I've often wondered about that... (And no - you're one of the saner people I've known. So what does THAT tell you? *g*)

And isn't it special when someone tells you how you're going to burn in hell for not having the same religion Bingo card as you? I grew up with that here in the south. It's my FAVORITE. By which I mean least favorite. :D

[dangomango.livejournal.com]

I knew a girl who dated several magazine models, many of whom had proposed to her. She'd come to school (high school at the time) with pictures of her then-boyfriends that were literally torn right out of the magazines.
And she thought we believed her. *sigh*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

That's about what M did! Except she fine tuned it to this one guy. How do people fool themselves into thinking we'll believe them!?

[nikitangel.livejournal.com]

My friend's roommate brought her stuffed cat to college.

And by "stuffed cat", I don't mean "cute fuzzy cotton filling stuffed toy" but "actual cat filled with taxidermy bits". She brought her deceased pet with her to college.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Now, if she had been funny about it, like Turk and J.D with Rowdy, that could have been the most awesome story ever. Instead of one of the SADDEST stories. WOOOOOW.

[semby.livejournal.com]

WOW. That's... wow. I hope she got help and learned the ways of the sane.

Also, there's more MsScribe wank?? Dare I click? Last time took up pretty much an entire day.

... I know I'm going to click :(

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

...your weekend is now pretty much mapped out. :D

(Maybe not - I've had to go back and re-read the bad_penny report to remind me of some of the finer points of crazy.)

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

LOL. Wow. I just had the roommate who was so excessively polite and friendly that she'd offer me lemonade in her sleep. It was pretty sweet, but got old very fast.

M: Eddie Veder and I knew someone that climbed that very one and fell to their death. They also landed on the last Condor, and now they're extinct. But I'm glad you climbed it. And didn't kill anything. This time.

I actually cackled when reading that. Killed the last Condor, huh? Wow.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I...

lemonade while she SLEPT? Boy, those proper manners were HAMMERED IN.

(I made up the Condor line. But that's about how she spoke. Oh, and she had a nasal whine. Like, she sounded like "Daddy, I want a squirrel NOOOOOOOOOOOOW but whinier. Like, last breath whine. *bangs head repeatedly*)

[fiveandfour.livejournal.com]

Well. I guess MY weirdo college room mate ain't looking so weird any more. But I think everyone needs at least one weird college room mate. Like it should be a rite of passage: welcome to adulthood - now it's your turn to deal with the craziness.

(Geez I hope *I* wasn't someone's weird college room mate!)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

(If you didn't have a weird room mate, it was MOST LIKELY YOU. Ahahaha, I kid.)

My very first roommate lasted three days, and she moved out on her own. She got up at 4:30 am to do her hair and nails. EVERY. MORNING. She was screwing the English professor (the one that looked like a cross between Carl Sagan and Kermit the Frog) by the third week. I think they lived together for a while. o_O

Now do you see why I loved school? THE STORIES!

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Man, I feel relatively lucky. My roommates only stole from me and woke me up to bitch about how messy I was. (Two different roommates.)

The first one...I found some of my bras in her suitcase. We did not wear the same size bra, let alone the same style. She also threw parties without my knowledge, broke my favorite mug (and then superglued the pieces together, like I wouldn't notice), let some of her party guests use my $7-a-tube good lipstick to write nasty remarks about me on the mirror in our room, and somehow broke my solid oak coat-rack. I still don't know how she managed the last one. She took my good coat with her, I assume, since it was missing after she moved out. Grr.

The most hilarious coda to this tale of mild woe is that I had a favorite sweater get lost in my freshman year. This roommate lived a couple of doors down the hall, and she and her roommate and me and mine would borrow clothes all the time. I assumed that it had just gotten left in somebody's room, and told myself I needed to be more careful. At my ten year reunion, this stealing roommate came to an alumni party wearing that sweater. It was a hand-made sweater, and I never saw a double of it, ever.

When I laughingly said, "Hey, you found my sweater!", she insisted that she'd borrowed it from somebody else. ::snort::

Liar, liar, sweater on fire. (Of course, I couldn't have even fit it over my noggin - I wore a size 5 my freshman year, and a size 12 or 14 when I saw her in it.) I found it vastly amusing. No telling what else she lifted off me.

The second roommate once woke me up (at 7 AM! On a Saturday!) to bitch that I'd left a wet towel in the floor, and used to pick up any clothes I left lying on my side of the room (or on my bed) and throw them in the floor of my closet. Oy. But at least she didn't steal from me!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

"At my ten year reunion, this stealing roommate came to an alumni party wearing that sweater."

YOU.
ARE.
SHITTING ME.

No she DI'INT! Holy crap, that is a person with a problem!! Like you wouldn't recognize a hand made sweater!

And while I don't want roaches in my dorm, messy clothes and stuff in a college room is just par for the course. *shrug* I would have been a MUCH MORE FUN roommate. Let's go back in time, 'kay? :D

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

[small voice]But, but, There is no Portland, WA. It distinguishes us from practically everyone else<[/small voice]

My weirdest room mate- ignoring here the really creepy male housemate of the post-college era- was still utterly smitten with her high school boyfriend, who she called *sigh*Annnnndy.

She also was prone to live on salads all week and then bake and eat a whole batchoftoll-house cookies Saturday night. Once, she made the cookies a laAlice B. Toklas, got a bad case of the munchies from eating them, kept eating them, and woke me at 3am because she was freaking out because the back of her head was numb.

She was ever so much less weird than your room mate.

Juia, nobody knows Eddie Vedder, everybody knows Steve Fisk.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Whoops, I meant Oregon, derp! *fixes*

The good thing about your roommate is that you had all those cookies to help her eat on Saturday! :D (Unless you weren't a fan of going Warhol on them... hahaha.)

Whooo. College: good times, man. Good times.

[that_mireille]

This makes my insane college roommate seem... no, okay, she doesn't make S seem sane, but she's pretty damned crazy.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*leads you to the table* Please share your crazy roommate stories!! I love them like I love FUDGE.

[samsom.livejournal.com]

Man, it's like you were Buffy and M was Kathy, like in Living Conditions.

Did she try and suck out your soul through your mouth?

o.O

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHA.

*sings Do You BelIIIIIEEEEEEVE in Life After Love (after love? after love?)*

You can't know how hard I laughed when I first saw that episode. YES. KATHY WAS EEEEVIL. I was on Buffy's side from the get go!

[wickedgrdn.livejournal.com]

Ever see the movie Single White Female? (Jennifer Jason Leigh and Bridget Fonda are roommates and JJL starts taking over BF's life - literally)

O.0

That's immediately what I thought of while reading this, LOL. M sounds...Single White Female-ish. :)

[wickedgrdn.livejournal.com]

btw - this is lilkittykat_27. i changed my username this morning. So...yeah.

Anyhoo.

:D

[lolz.livejournal.com]

My freshman year I had two roommates. One, we absolutely LOATHED! Our third day at school my other roommate and I came back from the mall and found her passed out in her own puke (this was about 7PM). She was a fool. We used to put fish food in her bed and we'd jump all over it.

I hated her.

PS; You knockin' WUHstah, Mass? Yo, I'm from Mass! Hah.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Don't be reTAHded! WUHstah is Wicked Awesome! ALl my BAHstan peeps shout HELL YEAH! (I love me some Mass. folks, yo!)

Eeeeeewwwwwww, she passed out in her own puke? BLEH. That smell must have hit y'all like a ton of bricks when you came back!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

!!!!!!

NO.
WAY!!! Really?!?! She allegedly reported Ponderosa, etc.? Holy shit, that is freaking DELICIOUS. (Bad for those two girls, but delicious for the WANKAGE.) MsScribe might be one of the stupidest people I know.

[fishsanwitt]

Lord. I got sucked into it yesterday as well.

Someday I'll tell you about *my* crazy landlord!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Please do! I collect crazy people stories like some people collect china. :D

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

Wow, M reminds me so much of K, who was my best friend in 7th grade until she started pulling "I met Gavin Rossdale and he calls me all the time" and then she went all crazy born-again and renounced rock n' roll and said that every time she listened to it she heard the "voices of Satan." She also had an imaginary boyfriend she met some youth group and apparently dropped acid with. Eventually she decided that I was a Satan worshiper and tried to get me kicked out of our conservative Lutheran middle school because I didn't buy her story and thought she was mentally ill unlike the so-called authority figures there.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Junior High - the place where people become WEIRD for three years.

I can't believe the leaders/teachers/etc. chose her side! She must have been very good at faking being good, huh?

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

She sounds like a hot mess.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahaha. She was SEW a hot mess!!

(You around for a ringading ding?)

[anelith.livejournal.com]

I had such sweet roommates I can only read these stories and be thankful. What a seriously disturbed person you had there! I wonder whatever happened to her... She's the sort of person that you can imagine winds up stalking someone. *shudder*

My only problems with living conditions in the dorm (and I lived there all four years) were with my suitemates sophomore year, who were highly indignant that I chose to hang out with my geek buddies in the SF fan club, whom I already knew from the previous year, rather than be chummy with them. Apparently they thought of themselves as the elder stateswomen of the suite and had this rosy picture of taking me under their collective wing, and when I didn't fall into line with that they called me on the carpet one day. I was thunderstruck and didn't know what to say. My roommate, who was incredibly nice, had her own friends in the theater crowd and didn't particularly like the "Suite Club" either. So we both went our own way and practically never saw each other. She remained on pleasant terms with the rest of the Suite Queens and I stayed pretty frosty with them. I was glad when the Queens graduated the end of that year and moved out!