Gah, I know I know, spam, but I HAVE TO RECORD THIS.

[stoney321]

So, I just got back from Superbad. I loved it. LOVED. IT. BUT! First: I took my vitamins as I was walking out the door and the last one felt weird going down, like it was stuck. You know that feeling. I kept swallowing and swallowing, trying to force that stretched out feeling away. I park my car at the theater, get out, cough, and POWDER COMES OUT OF MY MOUTH. I am freaking out, because who hasn't heard the old wives tale of the person whose esophagus was eaten away by an improperly swallowed pill? (Is that just something I was told to be freaked out by? Well, it worked. [ETA] OH! And it's REAL.)

So I'm all panicking that my throat is going to burn away like I swallowed boric acid, and I'm going to straight away buy a drink and fix it, right? I go get my tickets, and there are two dudes in front of me: one large and in charge, the other like he's been stretched out in a taffy pull. (Just like the guys in Superbad! Except well over 6 feet, the twain of them.) The lady behind the booth asks them for ID and they get all huffy and affronted, "Seriously? I don't even need ID for bars, how hilarious that you need this. Ha ha ha. I'm 24." And they make a big show of how much of a pain in their ass this is. (Are you thinking not old enough? Me, too.) I go to get mine, she cards me, I say thank you (because come on. My kid started junior high today.) and go to get a Coke. These two knuckleheads stand behind me and start chatting me up!

"Hey, you coming to see Superbad? It's awesome. We've seen it, like, twice already." Okay. I show I'm not interested, just need a drink to keep from dying via acid throat, get my soda, go sit down and chug it. (My neck did not, in fact, dissolve. In case you were worried.) The two guys come in and climb over chairs (because steps are hard you guys, zomg) and sit RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. There are 10 people in the theater. Um... Well. One of the dudes, the taffy-pull guy, has a shirt that reads:

I
♥
hot moms.

Ahahahahahaha!! They keep laughing at jokes in the movie and checking to see if I'm laughing!! They WAVED GOODBYE when the credits rolled, after sitting there for a while whispering. Awwwww! I feel like a MILF. Bless their little hearts. Okay, now I have to go pick up my GROWN UP MANCHILD who probably has a mustache and a draft form for me to sign. *stomps off* hee!

Comments

[madam-rptr.livejournal.com]

1) of course you're a MILF! duh!

2) I love that you chose a (acidy) coke to wash down what you thought to be some sort of acidy substance eating away at your throat tissues…lolz

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

1) \o/ *sends you your monthly salary*

2) hahahaha, but come on! I couldn't sit in a movie theater with a MILK! Oh, dammit. I could have gotten CHOCOLATE milk. D'oh! ;)

I'd replace DB with you in this icon, you're so gd hot

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

Superbad: best movie ever or best movie EVER? I want to fuck George Michael. (Wait, he is of age, right?)

AND OF COURSE YOU'RE A MILF. (Hahaha, I almost wrote "DILF." Obvs I was thinking of Mr. Stoney. HAHAHAHA.) Dude, I'm not gay but even I wanna sex you up. So when I come in September, you'll be coming, if you get my drift. HAHAHAHA. *remembers to bring plenty of lube*

Oh god, I'm so nervous about tonight. WTF?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

it's going to be totally fun!! He's CLEARLY into you and your adorableness (read: awkwardness) and you will have LOADS of fun!

Oh my goodness, he is SO WONDERFUL in this movie!! And I thought I might get sick of McLovin, but I NEVER DID. <3

*sings Color Me Badd and gets ready, chicky bow!*

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

McLovin was McAwesome. The scene with the first appearance of the McLovin ID? I missed about half of the lines because I was laughing so hard. The only parts I thought dragged a little bit were the later scenes with the cops but they were still 100% funnier than most things I've seen in a long time.

(Is it weird I found Seth Rogen FUCKING HOT in this movie? I think it was the mustache.)

I want to have a Michael Cera/Jonah Hill baby so I can make it entertain me all the time.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Awww, I liked the bits with the cops, how they took him under their wing. :D And yeah, Seth Rogan was very hot! It has to be the pornstache. :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

JUST SO YOU KNOW: Emily has a puffy dolphin sticker on her finger (the stickers you gave her) and is making almost PERFECT dolphin noises, ahahahaha!

She smiled, beamed at her sticker, and said she misses you. AWWWWWWW!!

But don't think about my child when you're boning your date tonight, mm'kay?

[yohopiratesyoho.livejournal.com]

Ok, I never heard the wives tale about that... but... ok. Yay for you being hit on by guys that love hot moms! What a confidence booster, even though they sound a bit like losers, lol. :)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD. you just totally put down the guys that kept me from sitting in my garage with the car running!!! [/emo]

HEEEEE. And really? Never heard of that one? Clearly I know horrible rotten people that play up my fears...

[semby.livejournal.com]

Haha! Go you, attracting the kiddies.

And I'm very glad that your neck didn't dissolve. Even though I'd never heard of that happening before. But now I'll probably be afraid of that happening forever.

And I can't wait to see Superbad!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha, they may have actually *been* 24 like they claimed. Or you know... 16 going on 24. :D

ZOMG it was SO CLOSE, my neck dissolving! Oh, the bitter irony of dying from vitamins...

It's REALLY FUN. Def. will be owning that DVD.

[illcoveryou-x.livejournal.com]

I am freaking out, because who hasn't heard the old wives tale of the person whose esophagus was eaten away by an improperly swallowed pill? (Is that just something I was told to be freaked out by? Well, it worked.)

I was told that too! And now I think about it every time I swallow a pill! It's good to know your throat did not dissolve though :)

Awe, your grown up manchild.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*clings!!* Okay, so it ISN'T just me!! But rest assured should this ever happen to you, YOUR THROAT WILL NOT DISSOLVE. (hee! I was seriously freaked, though. Good hell, me.)

Hahaha, he did not come home with a mustache nor an anchor tattoo, so he's still my little guy. (Heee, he's Hogwarts First Year old!)

[nwhepcat.livejournal.com]

Actually, a good friend's sister had that happen, and showed up in tears at their mom's house with horrible pain in her back (!). The ER doc figured it out because his wife had had the same thing! So I'm kinda obsessive about water when I take pills, especially big ones.

And hey! MILF!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

SEE?!?!? It has a name, too! (I put a link up top) And you can bet I'll be more obsessive about the last pill from now on. Sheesh. If I didn't have to take all those horse pills...

And hahahahaha, great icon use. :D

[sweetumms33.livejournal.com]

Yea you are a MILF!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Damn straight! *sends you a fifty dollar check for services rendered* Hee!

[pernickety.livejournal.com]

There you go, robbin' the cradles.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Psssh. My philosphy: Out of diapers? Bone 'em.

NOTE TO LJ/6A: I am joking. :D

[dancetomato.livejournal.com]

If hot moms were all like you, I'd get that t-shirt too.

I am DESPERATE to see Superbad.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA. The T shirt was really awesome - all 70s iron-on looking. And boy, do I love me some iron-ons.

Superbad was FUNNY. This is a rare treat for me to see a movie in a theater. Whoo hoo, school's in session!

<3

[pluckygirl.livejournal.com]

I should never be drinking (any type of liquid) when I read you. You make me laugh and the soda comes out my nose. I now have soda nose which is kinda like an acid throat if you think about it. Thanks for the laughs!!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

OH EM GEE, acid nose is JUST THE SAME as acid throat!! *gives you soda* Wait, that only works on acid throat...

:D

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

You should have told your admirers that you're an actress currently filming your latest role. They would have followed you home.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, yay! JUST WHAT I WANT. [sarcasm] :D (They really would have if I mentioned it was a skeezy slut I was playing...)

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

LOL. Oh, Stoney! Congrats to you. Picking up the young guys at the movies. Maybe Camisha can work this into the Manny fic. *g*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA!!! If only they LOOKED like the hot Manny!! *dreams*

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

Pick, pick, pick. Geez. Take it where you can get it, old lady. *g*

[bitchygrrl.livejournal.com]

You are a MILF. Indeed. *nods head*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I mean, come on. [/Jimmy]

Hahaha - NO. I'm not. But the hot mom at the pool this weekend, the one that made the rest of us wrap up in towels and reach for the cupcakes? The MILFiest of MILFs. :D

[bitchygrrl.livejournal.com]

I've seen you, you're a MILF and Mr. S would agree. :P
*uses icon of the ultimate MILF*

[beadbeauty.livejournal.com]

I have a problem with this. MILFING? Boric ACID?! TWAIN? Lord. BRING THE CHILDREN BACK HOME!! hahahaha Glad the movie is a good one. I must go see it.

TIFFANY (in case you weren't sure)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

What's your problem? SEND THE CHILDREN AWAY LONGER. And the movie is v v funny, you need to go ASAP!

LAURA (who is this again?)