Waahh! Friends are gone...

[stoney321]

Got back from taking Sue and Caza back to airport. Lots of fun was had. Drinks were poured, laughter ensued, and by the way... America! FUCK, YEAH!! If you haven't seen Team America: World Police... holy holy holy crap. So funny. I've been working on my marionette walk all day. They so perfectly spoof the boorish nature of our current government, and skewer Jerry Bruckheimer action movies so well. You know what? When marionettes puke, I laugh like a hyena.

The battery on my camera went out, so the pictures aren't the best. But you can find them here. There are 5 in all. I think I look fat. Also? Sue has the BEST HAIR IN THE NATION. Thick chestnut brown, and if I knew her better, I would have given her teeny little braids all over it. Then brushed them all out. Fabulous hair.

Our favorite fic writer has a new chapter up JUST FOR ME! Okay, probably not, but it's like she's writing for a specific audience. An audience of illiterate 13 year old boys who saw a booby once.

• "She needed to give her pussy a rest. It was sore. The remedy required soaking in a hot tub and chocolate ice cream." It's Buffy's private version of IcyHot! But it leaves me feeling too sticky.


• "'Are you ready for dessert, luv?' Elizabeth smiled knowing the comment had some hidden meaning." But she couldn't figure out WHAT that meaning was. Her instinct was that he was saying something dirty, but similies and metaphors are HARD. Ooh! Pretty shoes!


• "'Let me dry you.' William started at her feet, kissing and licking her toes." I don't know about you, but being licked dry is HAWT. Because you don't get dry. And having the opposite of what you think is going to happen ACTUALLY happen... That is fucking awesome. But sticky. And then you smell like breath.


• "'I love your beautiful cock.' 'And I love your sweet cunny...'" A/N: note to self... look up obscure regionalisms and insert often. Make sure they are NOT sexy words to keep the readers on their toes.

And now from the author's Angelus/Faith fic

• "He plunged into her without direction." Talk about an eyeful/earful/ass load! Ba dum bum ching!


• "I may be a vampire, but I'm still a man." Well... technically no. You are either one or the other.


• "I remember the first time I saw her. My cock jumped up in my throat." Dear Santa Claus, I would like to have a man under my tree with a cock that reaches to his own mouth while standing so I don't have to be bothered on "headache night" anymore to suck it for him. I've been a very good girl this year. Signed, Stoney

Buffy looked at William's [object from a boat, meaning his penis]. William [action verb] at her. Buffy [liquid, used as a past tense verb] in her pants. William said, "[come-on line not even a 16 year old boy would use to a prostitute]." Buffy spread her [body part] while William commented on it's [adjective].

"[child's interpretation of love talk]"
"[idiot's repsonse]"

William put his [body part, described in metaphor] on her [genitalia, as referred to in similie] while exclaiming, "[horribly inappropriate fishery terminology]."

*Truck pulls up with Buffy's shipment of Gatorade and Astro-glide, our two lovers motion the crates to the kitchen, and continue [verb to describe sex act, preferably in the words of a German tourist visiting the Grand Canyon for the first time.]*

So that's really hard. There IS talent there. A weird and strange talent, but it's there. Somewhere...

Comments

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you how many times I stopped and shook my head.

And LIMRICKS!! Wheee!!! (I want to see your version of the Bad!Fic mad-libs! You'll come up with some great ones...)

But what rhymes with Nantucket? Bucket? Duck hit? Oh. I see. Har!!

[lynnenne]

Buffy looked at William's [sternwheeler]. William [spun it] at her. Buffy [swam] in her pants. William said, "[I'll give you half my allowance to let me swim in there with you]." Buffy spread her [channel] while William commented on its [briney ocean blueness].

"[Oh, daddy, sail into the sunset with me.]"
"[Soon as I get the mast raised, baby.]"

William put his [greek-god-like nose] on her [bobbing life-preserver] while exclaiming, "[Good God, woman, you smell like a hatchery! When was the last time you showered?]."

*Truck pulls up with Buffy's shipment of Gatorade and Astro-glide, our two lovers motion the crates to the kitchen, and continue [gape at the hugeness of the chasm in their Birkenstocks.]

Whew! That WAS hard work!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

See what I mean? She has TALENT, baby. Those malapropisms flow from her lips like beer flows at a frat house, a frat house rife with rufies and hot young men who egress into their pants, all the way home.