Head. Desk. Repeat.

[stoney321]

I'm starting to have horrible, detailed, labyrinthine dreams about the FLDS ranch, so this is it for a bit (plus, I'm going out of town Thursday.) Lemme answer some questions here, and then someone show me where the Less Than Zero slashfic is. (Dude. How could I forget how hot Spader and Robert Downey Jr are in that? Jamie Gertz and Andrew "Bug Eyes" McCarthy? Not so much. I need Rip/Julian fic STAT.)

1. I am not polygamous, neither are my parents. Anymore. (Okay, my dad was modern-day polygamist, meaning he was married in heaven to two women, not legally on earth, and this is no longer the case.)
2. My distant family *is* polygamist, and my g-grandfather was one of the first men publicly called to polygamy by Brigham Young.
3. Yes, I said polygamy and that's the word I meant because it's the word the LDS church uses. It's the common-understood vernacular. Also, it specifically means MORE THAN ONE SPOUSE, and is usually used in reference to: you guessed it. The F/LDS.
4. Hey, I get the need to correct me. I'm the type that flinches when people interpose "venomous" and "poisonous" and use "impact/ed" when they mean "affect/ed."
5. I also meant the word "polyandry" to refer to NON-LDS poly-relations. Because obv. Also, I meant to ALSO use polygyny, even though the vast majority of people aren't familiar with the term. I mean, this is my LJ, not a published book, y'all. This is my rant zone, and I just slap that shit up here, as was the case yesterday. I'll add an addendum to yesterday's post.
6. I'm starting to feel very exposed and it's making me feel weird. I don't mean to be snippy, I'm just... baffled at the response. (I mean, come on. I've been beating the drum about this PARTICULAR sect for almost 2 decades. Now people listen? It's... overwhelming. It's also great, but overwhelming.)
7. I need to figure out how the hell to get a literary agent, as that's evidently how you go about selling a book. (I'm completely uninterested in a vanity press. No offense meant.)
8. I have no donuts or muffins in my house. This could be remedied by the aforementioned links to Less Than Zero fic. *smiles helpfully at you all*

:) Have a lovely day. I'm going to bugger out and breathe fresh, clean air and hook up with bu_doodlebug for headshots, because during all of this, I'm still trying to get more acting jobs. Feel free to cluck your tongue at me for having too many irons in the fire. Or send Julian/Rip fic. Either. (Comments might go unanswered. Again: see # of irons in fire)

Comments

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

People are giving you shit? About this? WTF, stoney, WTF?? Also, anyone who takes any time to actually comprehend the words you are writing gets the polygamous/polyandry/polygyny thing. Jeez.

::is het up on your behalf:: And if I had watched any of that stuff you were pining for, I'd write it. Right now, I'm eating b'fast and watching SNL "Jeopardy" skits. Heee. "Suck it, Trebek!"

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

One of my favorites (it's locked and screened now) is the person that told me how full of shit I am because I clearly don't know anything about Mormons, and I'm just looking to be mean. o_0 So lame.

"I'll take The Rapists for a thousand, Alex." "That's... therapists, you son of a bitch."

Oh, Will. Why you so funny???

[poshcat.livejournal.com]

I don't have time to talk right now, but I can absolutely help you learn how to get an agent. Much love from one of the uncrazies!!! xoxoxo

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I WOULD LOVE THAT INFO, my Poshy. I will email you soon, and when you have a free moment, any info you can offer will be LOVED.

<3 <3 <3 <3

[elucidate-this.livejournal.com]

ick those dreams sound TERRIBLE. I'm sorry this has been so stressful. Also, when i pointed out the polyandry/polyamory thing in yesterday's post i was mostly doing it so that other folks wouldn't use it to be dismissive or whatev.

i haven't been reading the comments to your posts but it sounds like people are being asshats. i'm sorry you are having to deal with that and i'm sorry if i came off that way :(

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, no, I've been getting loads of comments (and I did make an addendum to yesterday's rant, btw.) of a nasty nature (yours was not nasty) and I'm just used to chilling with my flist, you know? Random people that aren't on LJ that come over and tell me to STFU because I know nothing about being Mormon and... Um, WRONG. :D

I've screened the shitty comments to keep others from jumping on them and causing further grief. Keep the drama llama in the pen, yo! *hugs*

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

It sounds like people are getting finger-shaky about...polygamy v polyandry v polygyny? 0_o The hell? Polygamy = perfectly correct since it means many marriages. What on earth are people doing giving you trouble over that?

At any rate, since this is in the news and random people can apparently become experts by reading one book/reading three online articles...*cough* I think the trick now is going to be putting your discussion out there and engaging in productive conversation, while letting some of this other stuff go. Consider it good practice for the book tour/talk show appearances of the future? :D

Mmmmm, donuts and muffins. They make everything better!

Oooo, if it could be book!Less Than Zero instead of movie fic? Because then we could have hawt though emotionally closed Clay/Julian. I'm just sayin'. :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaaha to the "reading one book or watching one show" making you an expert. That was a fun convo with that person overseas telling me how the polygamists work. Um, actually, I'm going to agree to disagree on you (not you, J, hee!) being intelligent. *beams* Hahaha.

DONUTS AND MUFFINS = better day making always!!

You know, I never read the book. Clearly I need to, because the movie is lacking, with the exception of HOOOOOOT Spader and Downey, Jr. I never got the interest in Andrew McCarthy. I think I know what book I'm getting at the library tomorrow.... \o/

[mere-ubu.livejournal.com]

*hands you coffee chocolate-chip muffin* Poor beleaguered darlin'. Hope you're able to take a little break from all of this for a couple of days. *pets you* Peoples need to back off.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I WANT THAT MUFFIN IN MY MOUF RIGHT NOW, zomg. That sounds DIVINE.

*climbs in your lap with grabby hands*

[bastardsnow.livejournal.com]

Regarding getting an agent, I have no idea how that's done.

Dude, but Neil Gaiman totally does (http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2005/01/everything-you-wanted-to-know-about.asp)

It specifically talks about writing fiction (which you're not, here), but it also links to a boatload of resources that you may find useful. Or not. But it's at least a place to start, yes?

G'luck!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

See, that is an INCREDIBLY helpful link, why did I forget that?! AWESOME!! (I need to check out someone like Al Franken - see if they have a site that talks about his books, since that's a lot like the style of mine. Hmmm.)

Again: THANK.YOU.

[domenowtrent.livejournal.com]

re: literary agent

Go to the library (or a Barnes & Noble... it's practically a library) and look through the most recent edition of Writer's Market. You can look in the back under the topic and it will list all the publishers and the page numbers. I have an outdated one from 2002, but it's my best friend. ^_^

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Right, right! I've got a date with the library tomorrow, in fact. I'll see if they have a new copy. Otherwise, B&N it is! Thanks for that reminder!

[tabaqui]

*waves*
Have fun! Happy Earth Day!
:)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*waves back*
I hope it is as beautiful and sunshiney where you are as it is here! *smells my roses in your honor* :D

[ruthless1.livejournal.com]

stoney - Thanks so much for keeping the light shining on this topic. I appreciate how hard you are working at this AND I'v learned a heck of lot from your posts. I think people are mostly being super supportive of your stuff - the other post seemed like a semantics thingamajiggy (see how big and special MY vocabulary is) Keep up the good work! But only if it doesn't make you nuts!
As for getting an agent - talk to published friends first - who you know is everything. If you don't know anyone like that then look up the writer's market. I used to be in bookselling and talked to many publishers - and they all said the same thing - GET AN AGENT! They have their junior junior sub junior editors (ie the kids that make copies) go through the unsolicited manuscripts over pizza and beer.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I really appreciate your supportive comment! And - to be fair - I was snippier than I intended and I don't want to make anyone else feel bad. (But I see LJ as a place to get thoughts down, and my thoughts aren't always... clear. Hee!)

The idea of needing an agent seems wise to me - let them do the dirty work, as they'll clearly know more about how to shop things than I will. Someone else reminded me of the Writer's Market; I'm going to the library/bookstore tomorrow to get a copy and start figuring out where to go from there. That's a great resource!

[undersea.livejournal.com]

I remember going on a rabid search for Less Than Zero slash a while back, and being severely disappointed. I don't think there's much (if anything) out there, sadly.

I don't think I commented on your last post, but I do remember that I really liked hearing your opinion about all this stuff.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

That is bordering criminal! I mean... how awesome would Clay/Julian or Clay/Julian/Rip or Rip/Julian be? SO AWESOME. *sheds a tear*

(And you know you don't have to comment, right? We're good!) But thanks for that! I felt this morning like I was bordering on obsessive/compulsion with that topic and just... snapped a bit. Yipes. Sorry, everyone!

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

Jeez.

I didn't read yesterday's post, because I'm quietly freaing out about having run into another group of scared young women in angel bangs with the same middle-aged woman in ditto in the canned food aisle of the usual store and wondering whether there's a local stop on the Texas to BC route has become a full time obsession.

Julia, at least there's some press coverage of what happens to the boys in that hell-hole to leave the girls available for polygamous marriages

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, did you notice how the Jeffites (the YFZ folks - my new name for them, as they're distinctive from the rest of the Creekers) have a new hairdo? No more swoopy bang, it's like a front beehive style. Crazy.

Ooooh part 2: have you wondered why there are so many GIRLS there born rather than BOYS? You wouldn't be alone in that, btw. (I have terrible, terrible ideas of what's happening, and that's part of my recent freak-out.)

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

SO MUCH LOVE for fussing about impact/ed =/= affect/ed.

I have been known to holler "CAN'T YOU JUST SAY AFFECTED?" at the television.

I am sorry I have no links to Less Than Zero fic. I do bake muffins for a living -- want a recipe?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I do NOT get why folks don't use the RIGHT word there! AFFECTED. Impacted means... something else entirely. :D Oooh, and the new fake-not-a-word: impactful. ????? Hahahaha. I'm so glad to not be alone there!

And I ALLLLWAYS want recipes!! You bake for a living? You might need to be my new best friend. I can offer you impeccable living quarters and alcoholic beverages. :D

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

Please, somebody tell me, what are angel bangs?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Do you still have short hair? If so, grab a cat. Make a loop with their tail and drape it over your forehead. Angel bangs. :D (They're not allowed to cut their hair.)

Here's a kinda decent pic. They make it look like they have bangs, but just flip the hair down and loop it back so they don't have to cut it. (That's Warren's Daddy with two of his wives.)

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

People are coming on your list and giving you grief? Send them to me and I'll give them what for (I am small but feisty).

Some people are just too stupid to waste time on. Me, I'll continue to spare a thought for those poor children forced into a life of sexual slavery.

And have a delightful out of town. Now off to put down composted cow manure. Yum, cow shit.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Eh, I'm over it. I'm a fan of the screen and delete feature to comments. (I suspect some of them are from some of the plyg blogs I frequent.) Also? No more anon comments here, wheeeee!

But I know you're tough - I'm tough and I wouldn't mess with ya. ;) And yeah - instead of harping on me, how about helping a broken child?

Oooh, cow shit. I honestly love the smell of compost. I'd come hoist some shovel-fulls of that if I lived closer. Stupid continent.

[showmewrtr.livejournal.com]

Being a published author myself as well as the owner of a publishing company if you have questions, please holler. :)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Helloooooooo, Gorgeous! :D

My guess is, for the type of book I'm writing (memoir) I'm getting the advice to get an agent first. (Or shop a prospectus/summation to various entities like Salon, McSweeny's, etc.)

Wisdom in this? Advice on agents? How to write a damn "this is my book, now where's my check" type letters? Hahahaha.

[violethamster.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to say I've found your FLDS posts fascinating, but haven't commented because all I could manage at the time was making strangly motions with my hands in the general direction of all those old perverts.

Sadly, I have no muffins, donuts or Less Than Zero fic to offer you.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

That's about the level of discourse I'm at with those summbitches.

DOesn't there need to be Less Than Zero fic, though? Like, painfully dirty and naughty fic? Mmmmmmm. Better than donuts. :D