Hahahaha. BAHLEETED.

[stoney321]

By which I mean the guy that created the "Mormons Exposed" calendar, who was just excommunicated from the LDS church. This means he is bahleeted from Eternal Mormon Heaven. Which... do you want to spend an eternity canning fruit and drinking Mormon Champagne? (Ginger ale and apple juice) What this means is that I want to strike while the iron is hot, even though something isn't finished. Translation: I want to start posting my Mormon Missionary story based on two of the guys from that calendar, Brandon and Austin, even though I've not finished the last two chapters. That's bad, though, huh? Hmmm. (The calendar's website is currently down, incidentally.)

In other news, I will never ever EVER tell a personal trainer that I think I'm "pretty fit." I had my first session yesterday morning (Jess? I had a new guy due to that last experience - he's AWESOME) and I'm still feeling it. Which is good. (Weird thing about me: I love to hurt from physical activity. It means I did something, if that makes sense.) I was laughing at myself about halfway through because of how much my quads have atrophied due to knee injuries/surgery. I've not been able to do leg extensions or squats in over seven years due to injuries, etc. He had me up on a bosu ball doing squats. HAHAHA. Um, yeah. That ball bounced like Michael Jordan was dribbling it. My upper body was pretty strong, he said, so I didn't have to be completely humiliated, so.

Remember in grade school (for US kids) when they had you do the arm hang to see how strong you were? And most of the kids' arms bounced around until they inevitably dropped back to the ground? That's what my legs were doing. I was SO GLAD that I had told my trainer how I'm really getting fit again, and I just want to "tighten and tone." Riiiiiiiight. Um, and get strong, apparently. (In my defense, my brute strength muscles are strong - it's my stabilizer muscles that need training. Um, yeah. Let's stick with that. Today is a pure cardio and swim day, no weights.

And maybe a trip to Sonic for a shake. <-- so dedicated!!! (OH! Yesterday was a birthday that I missed, and I feel terrible about it: floweringjudas, I'm so sorry you had such a crappy birthday. I would have taken you out for a meal and laughed at our goofy families with you. :( Why is everyone having bad summer birthdays? This does not bode well for mine in a few weeks... *does some happy mojo*)

Comments

[turnonmyheels.livejournal.com]

stabilizers are hard to train, but help prevent injury liek whoah. good luck with that.

i too, love that post work-out soreness. it takes me to my happy place.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*knows I can talk shop with you*

He had me balance on one leg and squat down and touch the floor, then do that with weights, then use a ball to do squats, then get up on the bosu ball and do all of that there. (Also with planks, and arm workouts and sit ups on a ball.)

He's creating a workout to get my knees back in shape and kept telling me to not push it - I wanted to do a few more of each exercise because I'm stubborn. (I think I'm a change from his usual clients who whine and have to be pushed. I'm crazy motivated!)

And just like you, I loooove to be sore from hard exercise. I get itchy when I'm too sedentary. How are things with you and your gym? *goes to read your last post*

[turnonmyheels.livejournal.com]

You can, you really, really can.

One-legged squats are *fierce* good for you! We don't have a bosu ball at the Y, and I imagine that even if we did I'd never be able to get people on them. I've reached a stage in both teaching and my own fitness level where I'm getting more and more frustrated with group exercise. The regulars don't won't push themselves. They whine and complain - sometimes in good fun and to support each other through the hard parts - but MOSTLY because it's hard and they don't really want to do it.

This one lady, she's been taking the Tues/Thursday 4:30 weight lifting since it started 3 years ago. She's still using 4, 5, 6 as her light, medium, and heavy weights. It ENRAGES me. <-- not an exaggeration. I'm squatting with 30 pounds and she's squatting WITHOUT ANY WEIGHTS AT ALL.

I keep saying, with a smile and a wink 'cause that's what you have to do to NOT piss people off and encourage them to come back,

if you aren't *struggling* to get out those last 3 with perfect form, you're wasting your time. Yes, you may be burning calories, but you aren't building muscle. If you don't build muscle, you can't burn more calories. So push yourself! Get a little sore!

And still, they put down the weights for squats/lunges and don't pick up anything heavier than they've ALWAYS used.

I can't wait to get my personal trainer certification. And then possibly a client or two like YOU who wants to be pushed. Who wants to use their body for what it's intended for. It's a fucking machine. It's supposed to work.

::tears out hair::

er.

sorry for the rant.

Also? I'm extremely interested in how he helps rehab your knee so any blogging you do on this will have my full and undivided attention, and if you wanted to go more in-depth I'm all eyes and ears.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, rant all you want. I really don't have patience for people like you're having to deal with. Now, if the trainer isn't being sensitive to some medical issues, then sure - you need to raise your voice and be heard as a client. But clearly you're dealing with laziness, pure and simple.

It's like they cant the cache of saying they're with a trainer without having to do the actual work. is the 4-6 lb. weight lady under the impression that she'll "beef up" if she uses heavier weights? moron. Women don't beef up like that unless they're on 'roids.

And dude: I want Linda Hamilton arms. I watched Terminator 2 the other day - when she's doing pull ups off her bed? Awesome.

My trainer said before hand that he was working with me as a favor (my guy wasn't available) and that he didn't have any more space to take on new clients. After one workout, he said he'd make room. :D I told him that he wouldn't be able to push me hard enough, that I wanted to feel like I just enlisted in the Army. Haha, I gave him permission to call me "Maggot." :D

As for the rehab stuff, I'll def. keep you posted on any new exercises he gives me. Another thing he had me do were step-ups. Not only was I to concentrate on lifting off with my hamstrings (not my calf on the opposite leg) I was to bring up the other leg into a 90 degree bend, then slowly lower back down, again concentrating on my hamstring doing the work, not my weight naturally bringing me back to the floor.

20 of those on each side, then back to situps, then back to do 20 more with 10 pound weights. I see my trainer again in a few days and he's adding four more routines, so I'll keep you posted.

[turnonmyheels.livejournal.com]

Linda Hamilton arms has been a goal of mine since the very first time I saw T2, she looked so incredible. Strong and competent and tough and just righteously bitching.

Funny how suddenly there's room when he has a client that's *willing* to work. *g*

I don't know what that ladies deal is. We tell them they won't beef up, magazine say it, she'd have to be beyond stupid to think that [and even if it *were* possible she's one of those ladies that's about 5'9" and weighs approx. 125 pounds, she's *tiny* there's nothing there to bulk in the first place]. I guess the one positive is she's faithful?

J [the instructor I spar with] has a zen attitude about it and talks me down off the high place when I need it. Of course she's been doing it longer and gave up on her ideals long ago *g*.

I think -- these people come to the Y, they see their friends, they move a little, sometimes they actually sweat, and then they go home. I have to keep in mind for them, they're just glad they're not sitting in front of the tv eating chips and cookies.

Most people who really *work* at it are in training for something. Whether it's an event like a class reunion, a wedding, or a beach vacation or an event like a race or a walk a thon or something. I've learned that very few people who work out that AREN'T athletes are working for something other than weight loss.

I do not consider myself an athlete. I never have and most likely never will. I don't do sports. So that makes it more difficult to figure out how to train [you can't cut your time if you don't do something that has a time] or how to judge goals and different fitness levels. I don't like to do solo stuff, so I'm having to learn how to incorporate higher intensity and difficult within the group exercise format and it's annoying and stupid and frustrating and makes me think I should throw in the towel and learn to love running or something.

/dumping on stoney first thing in the morning

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

have you thought about more rock climbing? You have to be with other people, but it's still a solo effort, ditto golf and swimming. (I say that because my son doesn't do well with team sports so we're looking for ways for him to stay active and challenged but not stress over the social aspects of the team stuff.)

I'm sorry it's been frustrating for you. Honestly, when I read your posts, you get me geared up because I can hear how hard you're working. it's very inspiring. *hugs*

[turnonmyheels.livejournal.com]

not since I've been fit enough to do it. there isn't a gym for that here and there's no way I'd actually go to Stone Mountain and try it without a LOT of gym time.

I just needed to vent. Generally I don't find it frustrating but lately it has been. I need to just do something else during the things that annoy me so badly. Taking myself off the roster for teaching weight lifting will help immensely.

[orejen.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about the "good hurt" afterward. For me it almost feels part of the exercise high, but lasts longer, like a reminder.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Exactly!!! I don't like being sedentary, and can't understand people who do. It feels SO GOOD to use your body to the point of exhaustion, imo.

Ha ha, although it was pretty funny, me walking down the stairs after our workout to head to the locker room. My legs were weak as kittens. I don't know when I've gripped a handrail so tightly in my life... :D

[drusplace.livejournal.com]

I followed the link about the calendar and found this part amusing: "but he had also ceased to pay tithing or wear the sacred undergarments."

You know how people say to keep church and state separate? I would like to keep church and my undergarments separate.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, but you can't keep your underwear separate from your Church when you're Mormon! The G's are one of the most important parts of moving up the LDS ladder to God, or what have you. (Gs = garments, aka "sacred underwear.")

...there's no question as to why I'm no longer Mormon, right? *G*

[drusplace.livejournal.com]

Right!

Oh and good luck with the trainer! Sounds like you are having fun with that!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I have a 48 hour reprieve before our next session... (And seriously: loving it. Whoo hoo!)

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

[D]o you want to spend an eternity canning fruit and drinking Mormon Champagne? It's a wonder anybody does!

The trainer sounds like he's going to really put you through your paces. You are going to be cut. *looks at squishy middle and goes on a walk*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

That's my goal! 6 pack and defined thighs, come right up! (where coming right up means 20 weeks of intense working out. ...I need a cheeseburger.)

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

Ugh, stabilizers. When I was last in physical therapy a few years ago, they had me do stuff that seemed so weird but it was for support around my knee and it worked. So stick with it girl, you'll appreciate it.

And wow for the Bosu squats. Just... wow. My balance is not so good, I don't know if I could stay on the thing with it upside down like that.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I have utter faith in you, so yes ma'am! *promises to add another set to my current #*

Sal, my squats were NOT pretty at all. I was laughing so hard, I almost fell off the ball from that. The platform was rocking side to side and bouncing up and down like crazy. But! I did 20, so, I feel good about that, even though they were not... text book. :D

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

keep doing them and they'll totally get better. you rock, babe.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

YOU DO. *slaps that fine ass*

[anelith.livejournal.com]

Wow, Laura, you will be *flying* over that three-day walk after these sessions with your trainer! Whooosh! People will be cupping their ear and going, "Was that a sonic boom I just heard?"

I saw an article in the Globe about that guy being brought up before the Mormon high court or whatever they call it, and wondered if they were going to bring the hammer down. Now I know. I can't wait to read your story!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I love that in the article it talks about how the big thing wasn't the calendar, it was the lack of tithe and him not wearing his garments. For six years. And then I find it interesting to note that they didn't hold a court for six years.

...until the calendar was a big hit and made the national news. *G*

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Stoney, why do so many Mormons have Robert Kennedy teeth? Is this due to clean living or is it that Robert Kennedy humped anything alive and therefore spread his super-fertile seed far and wide?

These are the questions that consume me.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

because some of the wealthiest people in the state are the orthodontists? Perfect teeth = visible proof that you're seeking perfection, which all Mormons are commanded to do.

So, you know. No pressure.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Just one more reason I could never be a Mormon.

I left perfection back at Albuquerque and am content to settle for funny with a dash of compassion.

[floweringjudas.livejournal.com]

Eh, it got better. Plus, horrible birthdays are a specialty of mine! \o/ It would've been disappointing if it hadn't sucked somehow.

YAY for the calendar guy being exed, now he can have MOAR FUNS. And SIT AT THE COOL TABLE WITH THE REST OF US.