double post, I know, but I have to record this, it's just too funny

[stoney321]

okay, so earlier I mentioned that I had an audition today. I get there, do my bit, and they ask me if I can now translate it into Spanish.

"Um, no? I cannot translate legalese, I'm so sorry."
"Can you just say a little something in Spanish then, so we can hear you?"
"Sure... Quien es mas macho, Ricardo Montalban o Erik Estrada? Para vente puntos, este pregunta: Quien es macho?"

They crack up (which is good) and I bend over to pick up my things from the floor. The cameraman hollers out, "You were in Blood on the Highway!" AHAHAHA. I'm happy you recognized me from my ass. One of the girls is cracking up and explains to the other ladies that I played the "whore" in the movie. I would like to state for the record that my ass is currently 4 sizes smaller than in the movie, I thank you. Also, that's pretty funny.

I had an attitude of "Eff it" today instead of working myself up with nerves. Watch me get this one. *eye roll* Oh, and because it was an industrial, I had two improvs that prepared, just in case:

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such Industrials as 'Sexual Harassment: When the rug doesn't match the drapes' and 'I've Set My Apartment On Fire, Now What? A five step 'Get Rich Quick' program!' "

;) It's continuing to be a great Monday.

Comments

[dovil.livejournal.com]

HEY MOVIE STAR!

No, that's all I've got. But I just think it's kind of cool that I get to ask you have the movie business is lately, also for an autograph and a picture for the Enquirer.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA. I am so glameruz, omg.

Also, you will have a package for Christmas. THERE MAY BE AN AUTOGRAPHED HEAD SHOT FOR ONE LUCKY LITTLE GIRL. Hahahaha.

[dovil.livejournal.com]

I SO WANT THIS! I hope you weren't joking, because seriously, that would be the funniest thing ever - but more important than any sentimental value, I can flog it off for money once your imdb profile hits a certain point.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I'm not joking! I know how much you admire me, and how it would ease your troubled soul to look on my visage nightly before you slumber, insuring your dreams will be sweet.

You're a lucky little man!

[dovil.livejournal.com]

I totally admire you, only because I'm hoping that it will get me in as one of your entourage so I can follow you around as you live a rich and famous movie star life. I can pick up your drycleaning and be famous by association.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

BWAH. Dude, you totally need to be in my entourage. You can be the alcohol wrangler - the MOST IMPORTANT JOB OF THEM ALL.

[dovil.livejournal.com]

As long as I'm not the donkey wrangler any more because I could never get myself clean. *scrubs*

Well, who *is* more macho?

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

Me, I'm going with KHAAAAAAN...! because he *also* ran Fantasy Island, on the side. :)

para vente puntos...

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAH.

Agreed!

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

*hearts*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HEEEEE.

My ass: getting me places since childhood.

(That sounds really, really wrong...)

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

Ricardo Montalbán es mucho más macho. Eso es todo.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Si, si, Montalban es mas macho, bien!

[mangosorbet007.livejournal.com]

Not to harsh your squee, but - this just in:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081124/film_nm/us_twilight_1

Oh Lordy.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, I already knew that, so my squee isn't harshed.

NOTHING CAN HARSH THE SQUEE. ;)

[secondalto.livejournal.com]

Ricardo Montalban FTW! *sighs* He always made me swoon.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, Khaaaaaaaaaaaaan. I <3 him. :D

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

I am embarrassed to say, I didn't get that Spanish line (except the beginning of it) despite the fact I studied Spanish in school. Bad me. :-P

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

"Who is more macho, Ricardo Montalban, or Erik Estrada? For twenty points, the question is: who is more macho?"

:D

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

*smirk* I see... X-D

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

Yay for major ass recognition. Yay for being funny. And yeah, this'll probably be the one you get called back on because isn't that the way it works? ;-)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha, I know, right?

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

There is too much about this post that I love.

Also, this is why you need to take me with you everywhere you go. I can feed you Spanish lines from the rafters. Or point to your ass for easier emphasis. Whatever.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA!!

You totally need to be everywhere with me!!

[tricksterquinn.livejournal.com]

Wow, there is nothing about this that is not MAGIC.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Also, your icon is fantastic.

[tricksterquinn.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm rather fond of it, but I thought it was just me.

Yours is pretty rad yourself, there.

[lynnenne]

HEEEEEEEEEEEE. Best. Improv. Ever!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I KNEW YOU WOULD APPROVE.

:D

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

It's obvious that they need to hire you, both for your scintillating questions on the important questions of the day, but your understanding of industry issues.

My (insane) b-i-l managed to scam Hervé Villechaize into doing his phone message for him, so when you called you got to hear "Ze phone, ze phone!".

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

That's one of the most amazing things I've ever heard!! i'd never trade that message in if I was him!

:D

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

My b-i-l has a long history of odd phone messages. When he was still living at home, he switched the message to "You have reached 1-800-schtupp. Please help a lonely old man out" said in a heavy Yiddish accent. It took a week before my m-i-l figured out why she was no longer getting any phone calls.

[bu-doodlebug.livejournal.com]

OMG. Best idea for an industrial EVER. :)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA, wouldn't that be awesome?

And it needs to be shot all over-lit and scratchy like 70s porn. :D

[nwhepcat.livejournal.com]

Your audition pieces kill me.

And ass-recognition FTW!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha, I was just HOPING I would get a chance to use them. Those are two required films I'd watch! ;D

[underthethrow.livejournal.com]

oh my god you have a girl with the silver eyes icon

that book was so AWESOME

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Was that not a FANTASTIC book?? I loved that.

(Ooh, and you get quadruple bonus points if you ever read "Notes on the Hauter Experiment")

[anelith.livejournal.com]

Oh, they just HAVE to call you back now! That's hilarious!

Sounds like you're having a great time, which is awesome.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heee, we'll see! :D

I am - life has been pretty good at my end for a few days, and man, I needed some down time. WHEW!