*sucks in breath*

[stoney321]

I don't know what the hell is in the air this week, but it seems that every single day has brought interactions with people that I just don't care for. Personality types, that is, because of course, they are strangers to me, just random people popping up on my blog who feel ZOMG LIEK THEY HAFF TO HELP ME. It's enough to make me want to lock it down and just interact with the handful of folks I know and like.

1. I guess it bears repeating: this is a PERSONAL JOURNAL. This is not an academic journal, a professional journalist journal, a community journal that welcomes your two cents (unless asked for,) this is not YOUR journal. It's mine where I say what I want, when I want, how I want, and incorrectly at times because here's the thing: almost everything I write in here is done while drinking my coffee and getting #3 off to school. I rarely plan ahead what I'm going to say, I don't have a beta for my posts (how ridiculous) and I might go back later in the day and find something that I misspelled, etc. and fix it. Or leave it, I have shit to do in RL, you know? You just sound pissy when you act like a pedant, by the way. No one likes that kind of thing. Except other tedious pedants, of which I am not one.

2. I don't care if I have a misspelled word, if I transposed a noun, or if you don't agree with my opinions. I reserve the right to care or not care, to fix it or to leave it because again: this isn't a professional blog, it's a freaking LJ that belongs to a spazz. [me]

3. Get your own journal, write your own thoughts, or be prepared to feel my ire if you decide my journal is somehow the home for YOUR pedantic thoughts/rants. [hint: it's not] This is not to say that if I am ASKING for people to share their thoughts they can't. This is for the person that just has a crumb in their craw and decides to unleash some random bullshit in my LJ. I don't have a problem with CONVERSATION. If you are unsure of the distinction, I'd be happy to explain further in comments. It should be fairly obvious, however.

4. Just because you feel super compelled to say something, doesn't mean you NEED to. Not here, anyway. EXAMPLE: I do not need to know your personal history if we've never met in real life/are not established friends. I don't want to know about your detailed medical history, your abuse, your secret pig fetish, or why I need to follow along with you into weirdsville. Would you say those things out loud in the post office? If not, don't say it to me. :) I am not your doctor, your therapist, your sponsor, your mother, your child. I'm some random chick on the internet who now knows the intimate details of your pilonidal cysts. Um, thanks?

I don't know what it is about me that attracts people with no sense of humor, people who worry about everything, people who scream and go to the red over every little thing. I am none of those things, and more importantly: I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE LIKE THAT. If you have no sense of humor, really, what the hell are you doing around here? Do us both a favor, okay? I DO NOT CARE if you need to defriend me, I won't be hurt, I won't cry, I won't make a locked post and be emo. Because it's the INTERNET, capice? Do what you gotta do to have a good time on your own, with my blessing. Just, you know, not here. [if you're that type of person to which I'm referring.]

Remember how I said in a locked post a few days back that I was about to start getting snippy? Yeah. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get drunk, have an intervention, screw up the world order, die of neglect, destroy true love, and break someone's soul by laughing.

Or you know, hit the grocery store to feed the family. [scale hands] Have a good weekend? I know I will.

~Love, Me.

P.S. A few of you could do with reminding yourselves of The Rules Of Internet Interaction.

Comments

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

I'll meet you in the beer aisle at the HEB.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

AWESOME. It's an IPA kind of afternoon, yes? I'll make nachos, you bring the salsa.

[xochitl42.livejournal.com]

[[offers chocolate-covered macadamias of peace and love]]

...I wasn't entirely sure what else I could send, since offering Vegemite could be considered highly offensive in some circles. May your weekend rock harder than you expected it to! :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha, NO VEGEMITE PLS. I've had that before and... that's a taste I've yet to acquire. :D

I hope YOU have a great weekend too, still overjoyed on your Top Gear high!!

Er, and I'll get Skype installed this weekend, too. Sorry I dropped the ball on that!

[turnonmyheels.livejournal.com]

WTF??

Stoney, you surely do attract the crazies. I'd like to think it's some huge Friday the 13th let's fuck with someone hahaha conspiracy.

But that could possibly be entertaining for a fraction of a second and therefore, could never be.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

B, I don't fucking know what's been going on lately, but I have HIVES from irritation, I'm not even joking.

If it was just today, that'd be one thing, but it's been going on all week (and some of last week, too.) WTF?

[wickedsin.livejournal.com]

aw man, and here I was planning on leaving you an extensive comment all about the inner workings of my "spirit" colon, which was removed from my person by aliens during my 1994 abduction. (Not to be confused with the 97, 2004, or 2007 abductions)

/sarcasm

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Best. Comment. Never. :D

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

ZOMG! I AM DEFRENDIN U 4EVA!

Goddamn, I guess it's your turn on with the loony magnet, hunh? Jesus.

You really need Weird-Off™, the choice of sane people on the Internet everywhere. Weird-Off™ contains the finest single malt Scotch and requires frequent application.

Then, when these busybody-nooks come along, you're all set to respond via random WordGenerator™ (sold separately from Weird-Off™, but well worth the price). Guaranteed to provide non sequitors with a mere tap of the keyboard.

All this can be yours for a low, low price of $29.99 (shipping and handling not included, offer not valid in Tennessee, Arkansas, and North Dakota).

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

NO LIZ DUN LEAF ME. You are one of the sane ones!! I do need some Weird Off! Ahahahahaha.

BLESS YOU AND YOUR AWESOMENESS.

[solipsiae.livejournal.com]

Why not just delete every comment that doesn't belong in your LJ, and block users who don't respect your code of conduct? If the majority are coming from n00bs/strangers ain't no skin off your back, right?

I get such a kick out of this because IRL you are like the most grounded, caring and happy supermom I have ever met. Haters are just jealous and in denial about said jealousy, I'd wager.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, Angie, I DO!! I do delete, block, ban, but the thing is, I have to delete, block and ban! Does that make sense? It's just irritating to have a lovely morning with Miss Emily being funny, then have an email come through filled with douchery. Bleh.

Aww, you are a sweet, loving, kind hearted awesome girl that I am glad I can call friend. *squishes you to my bewbs*

[montyollie.livejournal.com]

I don't know you from adam... I just linked here through some of your entries on Mormonism (EXCELLENT stuff, btw, I love your insights and your writing style). But I notice you have blogged about this particular topic several times, and each time you seem to get angrier about it. If I were you, I'd just set your options to allow comments from your friends only and leave it at at that. You feed the bear when you post shit like this. You encourage the swarms of haters. Trust me, I know, I was there once too. I have the *exact* same opinion about my blog as you have about yours. It's mine, I say what I want, and if you don't like it, your head is on a swivel for a reason. Go talk smack in your own blog and stop leaving shit in my comments section.

I actually set it to screen comments from anyone other than friends, so I do get to read what the haters say (not so many anymore, now that their soapbox is gone), but I choose whether or not I will allow it to be seen by others.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You know, that's not a bad idea, re: setting. Then again, and I don't mean to sound snotty or anything, some posts I get A LOT of comments on, and they are comments from non personal-flisters. That's a lot of filtering to go through.

I just get irritated on occasion by the morons that feel the need to overshare/argue/foam at the mouth. It's not all the time, but DAMN it's been a constant this week. What's the what with this week, you know?

Thanks for the rational idea - def. food for thought.

[crevette.livejournal.com]

I think you need some medical help for your anger issues.

::ducks thrown object::

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Is it the same medical help that you get for your explosive diarrhea? AHAHAHAHAHA. <3

[ladypeyton.livejournal.com]

It's enough to make me want to lock it down and just interact with the handful of folks I know and like.

Oh, I hope you don't. I've been an avid fan of your writing since a mutual friend pointed to your Sparkle posts and my day would be a little less bright if I couldn't read your humor.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I don't mean to come off as full of myself, or anything, but there are people who I don't have on my flist for whatever reason (it takes a while for me to feel comfortable enough with a person to commit to their journal, lol) that locking my journal down seems like a shitty thing to do. Which...

Again, I don't mean to sound like "without me, life for you guys would suck" or something, just that there are folks (such as yourself) who pop in on occasion and I enjoy interacting with. I just don't know why the influx of joy-killers lately, is all.

Off topic, your icon is making me happy! I cannot wait for Dollhouse!

I'm worried about you.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Clearly, you have a liquor problem. Oh, wait - I'm the one with the liquor problem. The problem being, I don't have enough of it. So tell you what - I'll help you out with your little problem. Just box up all your liquor and send it to me. I'll take it all, so you're not tempted. Because that's the kind of friend I am.

::hic::

Re: I'm worried about you.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND EVER, HARM. Also, I like to think of it as a liquor SOLUTION, not a problem. :D

(did you see the intervention comm made as a joke? nostoneyno. AHAHAHAHA. My friends: I love them)

[caoil.livejournal.com]

I'm constantly amazed by peoples' asinine behaviour on the internets. I know I shouldn't be by now, it's probably naive thinking on my part. I was linked to your journal by a friend of a friend, and I came here, and read back a bit - it was an enjoyable read, so I added you! There were no expectations attached - it's simply a reflection of you being an interesting person with some neat things to say. You're not alone in the Attracting Assorted Assholes department - cleolinda is having the same problem.

I'm not sure why it's so difficult for some people to understand the concept of being a polite guest. Which is what you should be when visiting someone's blog/webpage. It's not an open forum, or bulletin board, or free-for-all where you can air your dirty laundry. It's someone else's sandbox, and you need to play nice or go home. The exception is your RL friends, who have a bit more leeway in how they can express themselves here, because they actually know you. Ai yi yi. I don't know that I have any suggestions. You could lock it down so only your friends could see your entries; you could lock some of the posts down; you could go on a massive deletion spree whenever one of these idiots surfaces, and ban the repeat/worst offenders?

/goes back to politely lurking

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Jeez, I know, right? And is Cleo having the same problem? I don't have her on my reading list (although I do click over often and catch up.) There's just something in the air, it seems.

You are DEFINITELY a polite lurker, filled with wonder and joy and joyment, and you are welcome to comment any time. I really do welcome people commenting, it's the goofballs that are SUPERINTENSE about their beliefs that they have to cram down your throat that drive me batty.

I've blocked and banned the super worst of them, I just hate doing it. 1, it's extra work to have fun in my space and 2, it feels so extreme. But you're right - there are options, I just kind of boiled over this morning. Too many irritations piled up at once. Bleh.

You have restored my faith in there being intelligent, thinking people out there, btw. <3

[jerusha]

Would you say those things out loud in the post office? If not, don't say it to me.

Oh, amen. Also, people at the post office/grocery store/sidewalk need to learn this lesson. I can't count the number of people who, in the last two weeks, have told me things I don't want to know. Me, a stranger!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I KNOW!!

Oh, the other day I read something where people were comparing Twitter to being the closest thing the individual has to being on their own reality show. That ties in here, but I have to buy groceries and haven't the time to go into detail. BUT! you are a clever and intelligent person that could make the case better than me. :D

People oversharing = my o_0 face.

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

Does LDS have a list like Scientology? You might be on it.

In all seriousness (haha), it's probably lingerers from the Twilight stuff. You attracted the attention of kooks along with the awesome people.

For some reason, red velvet cake has been requested around these parts and I'm about to have to buy almost every ingredient to make it (cupcake cups? cream cheese? red food coloring? buttermilk? LE SIGH!). I will send you some through the whump tube.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I don't think so... I've never heard of one. :D

I think that's totally valid - the twi-fans can be, um, intense. But there are some folks that have lingered way before that and man. I'm just irritated with some behaviors that are becoming more and more prevalent. (I'm sure you can indentify.)

Mmmmm, red velvet cake! Argh to the not having essential ingredients, though. I had to make a dash for buttermilk this week, because who regularly keeps buttermilk? Have you used that powdered buttermilk for baking before? I'm tempted... Fwoomp tube is prepared at my end, YUM.

(Oh, and I ended up making that sheet cake I linked to the other day. Holy crap, it was a damn fine sheet cake. I mean, sure, it's just a sheet cake, but I keep eating it many times a day. DELICIOUS.)

[jgracio.livejournal.com]

Well, when you post about controversial things like the Theory of Evolution, or how Science fixes problems...

I can't do it with a straight face. :D

Alas, your awesomeness has given you an audience, but poking fun at Twilight, telling tales about Mormonism and apparently discussing your love of Science and the well accepted and proven Theory of Evolution brings all the nutjobs to the yard. :(

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. <3 <3 <3

I guess my milkshake has brought the crazies to my yard, and they're like "don't say 'retard' Damn right, you don't say retard." And I have nowhere else to go with that song. Bwah.

[susnasty.livejournal.com]

i just don't understand people giving unsolicited advice to strangers on the internet...
that being said, you should TOTALLY see a shrink. (kidding!)

oh sorry if i've been guilty of the oversharing! i do tend to rant! hopefully most of my rants have been "i agree, and what's more" type rants rather than "omg so today this thing happened...."

[tricksterquinn.livejournal.com]

I wish there was a way to filter out JUST crazy/annoying/rude. IRL as well as online. I have this problem with a couple of people on my flist, actually, who seem to think unsolicited advice is awesome and good times for everyone (though my inability to smack them down is more because they're marrying my friend not because they are random strangers...), but seriously people. WHAT PART OF THIS SEEMS LIKE A GOOD PLAN?

I find it really weird with you, since you're so, you know, functional and funny and clearly not going to be bullied. Why would anonyasses even waste the effort? URG.

I'm really glad to know that knowing good wine means you've got a drinking problem. I suppose me and my vodka are doing just fine then - couldn't find more than two wines I like if you paid me.

[mpoetess.livejournal.com]

Stoney, I'm concerned about your inability to just scroll past these people. You just end up driving your blood pressure higher by paying attention to them at all, which in turn leads to stress, which in turn leads to more binge drinking and those visits to that one trailer at the back of the park where Joe-Bob hangs out. Not that you can't do what you like with your body, of course, and I'm sure it supplements your income, but can you really afford the medical bills over and over again? Especially with the prices on anti-fungal creams these days - I had to purchase supplemental insurance the last time it happened to me, and the rash...

I just don't want you to be sad and itchy because you can't disconnect yourself from internet stress, honey.

[claudia6913.livejournal.com]

I've lurked from the days of the bad!fic posts and Cream of Cum(tm) soup and that was about the time I had a cyst ...

Yeah, don't get it. Not one bit.

Your posts are always able to make me smile (and snort/giggle on occasion ... and sometimes make it so I have to calm down before answering the phone at work). I would hate to not have access to your awesomeness. I like being vicariously awesome.

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

I just texted you a pic of Jonah trying to spin into an Airchair off of his boppy. My baby's breakin'! No one else would appreciate this. I am now playing some License to Ill for his edification...or edumachation. What-have-ya.

I don't what I love more: your drunken rambles or your posts where you try act like women have brains (pshaw!) or your pic spam of the actual actors from Twilight!

Not that I read any of the above, of course. I friended you for the pony porn.

Oy vey.

[marlo.livejournal.com]

What if you make, like, a "future post" that always shows up at the top of your journal with some basic rules, and a disclaimer that you'll hit them with the ban stick / find out where they live and throw tomatoes at them if they don't obey?

Re: Oy vey.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I think it's necessary to do, even though I did that on my user info page. But then, how many people bother to read those?

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Right. That calls for some wine. People! Gah! *goes to grab wine-bottle*

[abusing-sarcasm.livejournal.com]

I really hope you don't lock things down. :( I still have aspirations of one day being your BFF, and if you stop making public posts, that WILL NEVER HAPPEN. *tears out hair*

I think some people are just caught up in The Hatrix, ya know?

They probably don't get laid on a regular basis, or drink alcohol, or snort cocaine off strippers' asses because it would go against God.

[treebee.livejournal.com]

I blame in it on Friday the 13th, or maybe the full moon... Was there a full moon this week???

Or maybe because a lot of TV shows were repeats this week, these people needed alternate entertainment? Or American Idol is sending subliminal messages telling people to be a'holes.

That's it! Blame it all on American Idol, unless you like AI.... Well, blame it on that anyways! :P

Sorry people are being crazy to you. I really enjoyed your Darwin post. Every once in a while I also have a moment of 'This is so cool!' or 'It's so unbelievable that this even works!' over science and/or technology.

[oatmellow.livejournal.com]

Will you think less of me if I tell you I'm a little bit turned on now?

[irreparable.livejournal.com]

...beta'ing your LJ. Your personal LJ. Wha? WHY?

Wow, blogging really IS serious buisness! FWIW, I love reading your LJ. So there to the wankers!