He put it to her with only his oppression and man tool! [Bad!Fic]

[stoney321]

Look. I'm spammy today. But it's Monday, the weather is weird, I'm avoiding housework, and I was linked to a WONDERFULLY HORRIBLE story. And I loved it so much, I made a podcast with me reading the story as a Ukrainian immigrant. With no offense meant to any Ukrainians, I find you to be lovely people. I just wanted to be a little ridiculous, and believe me, my phony accent is completely ridiculous.

Here! Listen to me read you a bed time story!

or...

Here! Read along with me as we share special times together! FUN TIMES FOR MONDAY. (No swear words, just... the story is Bart and Lisa Simpson making a baby while freezing on a mountain. WHAT.)

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Comments

[tundrabeast.livejournal.com]

WHAT AHAHAHAOMG

"So you see... Live ghost on."

no no this is not real.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

IT HAS TO BE A TROLL. Or the universe really loves me, I'm good with either being true.

[tundrabeast.livejournal.com]

With such a fabulous oppurtunity to do such a fabulous accent, I'd say it's the latter. Where are the other chapters you don't really love us do you :(

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I figured that I 'd hit my narcissism quote for the day and chose to spare you all. :D (I'm itching to do a podcast of a fic I wrote a while back where it's essentially a Chav-off. British WT for the win!) LOL.

[tundrabeast.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahaha I have exposure to chav I'm interested to see what you do I look forward to it :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOL, that icon!!! I've seen a version of it with bulldozers that appear and scoop her brows off, too. HEEE.

Here's the fic in question, Little Britain's Vicky Pollard meets Catherine Tate's Lauren Cooper with the Little Britain narrator. WHEE, I'm on crack! Lol.

[tundrabeast.livejournal.com]

It's brilliant and amazing! Especially once you get into the conversation, perfect always forever <3

[caoil.livejournal.com]

AHHH MY EYES CANNOT UNSEE

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

IT'S BEAUTIFUL!!!

[caoil.livejournal.com]

I don't know where the link was meant to go, but it made lj's webserver sad.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

But.... I tested it! ARGH, lemme just put the link here. I FAIL.

IT'S THE CAT IN YOUR ICON! *gives you fifty thousand awesome points*

[caoil.livejournal.com]

HA HA!
*high fives you*

[poshcat.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! There is no other way to experience that story except to read along with you! That was magnificent. ::wipes eyes::

You probably need to know that to my ears you kept slipping into a Swedish accent, which only improved the story. Bravo!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ukrainian and Swedish are SO SIMILAR, zomg!! Hahahahhaa. I probably should have watched Eastern Promises and oogled Viggo Mortenson refreshed my ear.

Isn't that story WONDERFULLY HORRIBLE??? It's truly a thing a beauty. I hope your dotter doesn't die today. D'oh!

[thefuzzyhat.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I lol'd.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

It is maybe my all time favorite tale of love and heartbreak, now. Suck it, Romeo and Juliet!

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

Wow. New dimensions of suck, indeed.

How do people's brains come up with these things and not immediately decay into a putrid pool of fail?

Julia, the children I knew who told stories like this are all in jail now, I believe

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

It just has to be a troll. Or a babelfish to babelfish to online posting. I love it for it's complete suckitude.

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

Such a beautiful story of love and loss and sacrifice. I need this tattooed around my ankle, so I can remember this heartwarming tale: By the way Maggie is older because Lisa is old enough now to get pregnant and Bart to produce his man sperm! I wish I could somehow convey man sperm being said in a Ukrainian accent in a tattoo...I love author's who give us instructional asides to help their story make sense.

I hope the guy was laughing his ass off as he was typing. I know I was while listening and reading along.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

One day you'll be able to embed an mp3 chip in your ankle that will say, "man sperm" in a thick accent and all will be right with the world. ALL WILL FINALLY BE RIGHT.

I laughed so hard reading this, I don't know how I managed to read it aloud and not crack up.

[roonilwazlib6.livejournal.com]

LOL OMG. OH. MY. GOD.

I have to show this to... everyone.

Also, is that an "Always Sunny" icon?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

YES!! I LOVE IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY. It's one of the best damn shows of all time, imo!!

[roonilwazlib6.livejournal.com]

lol My fiance loves it, and I'm starting to get into it. He showed me the episode when they tried to get the pub registered as a national historic landmark because colonial America is my jam, and the other day "The Nightman Cometh" episode was on and I died.

"You gotta pay the troll toll, to get into this boy's hole..."

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

The nightman cometh is REDONK with the awesome. I was sold on S1 ep 2, where they fight over who would have sluttier chicks, pro or anti-abortion rallies. LOL!!

[authormichals.livejournal.com]

WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

I just...cannot even begin to fathom this story. I mean, the "plot" is bad enough, but why is written like that?

Holy crap, the accent made that fic just so much more funny than it has a right to be. Also, didn't help that I had an ad banner at the bottom for a "What Simpsons character are you?" with the whole clan looking at me.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THEY GET WRITTEN. I only know that I see it as the universe gifting me with the meaning of life.

The fact that Google Ads knew you were up to some shenanigans is the best thing I've heard all day, lol!!

[zyrya]

Sweet merciful crap!

Shakespeare lives.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HE DOES! He has been reincarnated into this brilliant man. If you squint, it's iambic pentameter. Also, you need to be drunk.

[dioschorium.livejournal.com]

My stomach hurts now. I don't think I've laughed this hard since I read "Tentacle Moon."

THANK YOU.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE WELCOME. (And as I've not yet heard of Tentacle Moon and now I'm about to enjoy life to the fullest, THANK YOU.)

[lynnenne]

GASPING! I AM GASPING FROM LAUGHTER!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Is to be laughed at! His man sperm make babies in cold of winter so there is glorious harvest!

[dragonflylady77.livejournal.com]

Ohmigod!
There was no other way to fully enjoy it than to read along while listening to you reading it.
By FAR the funniest thing I've heard on my birthday today!!

Thank you for being so awesome!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

WHEEEE! Glad you laughed, huzzah!

[jibacoil.livejournal.com]

A+++++ I LOL'D SO HARD

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I am adorning myself with gold stickers, YAY CAKES!

[bu-doodlebug.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. GAWD!

That was pure genius. I haven't laughed that hard...since I took your "character" headshot this morning.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahahahahaha, YAAAAAAAAY!!