ATTN: FELLOW ANTI SPARKLEPIRE FEN

[stoney321]

I blame Kassie who has shamed me for not fulfilling my duty yet. I am off to witness the trainwreck that is New Moon. I have my light up pen, my pad, and my husband (muah ah ah.) There will be bloodshed TONIGHT! Well, tomorrow, because I'm then picking up children from grandparents, etc. etc.

And in case any of you don't realize that I do not like Twilight (how would that even be possible at this point?) allow me to leave you with this Q&A that sums up my position on things perfectly. (This may be the most brilliant deflection I've ever seen.)





QUESTION:
Is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?
I would like to know if there is any spell available to become a mermaid, one that works. I am asking people that believe in mermaids, Don't say things like, "Mermaids don't exist," because I take it very seriously and I find it offensive. PLEASE HELP ME FIND A SPELL!
BTW, I am also a witch.

ANSWER
[Best answer, chosen by asker!!]
You enter a small pond or lake with a mask that allows you to speak similar to the ones that divers wear (Mermaids can survive in salt or fresh water.) Once submerged you begin to chant "Let my power surge and fly, flowing deep through sea and sky, take my form and let it be, free to roam the endless sea" X3. Once you have said this three times, remove your mask. once removed, deeply inhale the water. At first you will feel like you are frowning, this is to be expected. Once your lungs are full of water, they will begin to transmute into gills. Be warned, if you surface during this, the process will quickly reverse itself. Best of Luck!

I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, THAT'S FUNNY. Unless you're a believer in transmuting into a mermaid, in which case THIS SPELL IS TOTES ACCURATE, GO TRY IT.

And my new Twilight motto:

Comments

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

OMG! I wonder if she really tried it? o.O

Also, good luck surviving New Moon!

[the-soul-of-wit.livejournal.com]

I LOVE YOUR ICON!

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know. :-) It is just awesome. Sadly, I don't know who made it, but you are free to grab it from me if you want. :-)

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

I love it too! And you really CAN sing it to the "I Love the Whole World" song from the Discovery Channel! It scans!

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Really? I never tried it... *laughs* Your free to grab it from me, but I don't know who made it though, so I don't know who you should credit. Just so you know. ;-)

[gillo]

This icon also ROCKS!

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

HA HA HA! X-D Well, why don't you run over to my icons (http://www.livejournal.com/allpics.bml?user=kseenaa) for some shopping then? They are all free to grab, unless it says otherwise. ;-)

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Your icon is the greatest thing I have ever seen. Mock de-yada indeed.

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

*laugh* It seems so, yes, since so many comment on it. ;-) I have no idea who made it, so I don't know who to credit. But you are free to grab it if you wish. :-)

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Thanks muchly!

[darlas-mom.livejournal.com]

Just hopping aboard the "YOUR ICON IS A GOD AMONG PIXELS" train. :-)

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

HA HA HA! X-D It would seem it is. :-) Your free to snagg it from me, if you wish. I just don't know who made it, so... I don't know who to give credit for. Just so you know. :-)

[pernickety.livejournal.com]

I AM GOING TO TRY THAT RIGHT NOW. It was always my dream to have a sing-along with a crustacean. ♥


So long as you've got someone with you to use as a human shield, if when things get too bad. Safety first when watching Twilight.

[killerweasel.livejournal.com]

Have you seen this? http://zombres.livejournal.com/740375.html?style=mine Make sure to watch the vid too.

[weaver42.livejournal.com]

The Internet is awesome.

Also, stupid as shit.

High-five.

-- c.

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

YAY!!!!! I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on all things werewolf and sparklepire when they are in movie form.

[anniemare.livejournal.com]

I can't wait for the sparklefest breakdown.

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

*sputters* That did not work at all! Now I owe my neighbor three new koi!

You talked your husband into seeing "New Moon"? I can't wait for the blood bath!!! *rubs hands together*

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

I mostly just wanted to be able to talk to you about how hot Taylor Lautner is and how I loathe myself for thinking this is so.

Hahahahaaaaaaaaa I didn't know that Misha Collins was on ask.com

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

I didn't know that Misha Collins was on ask.com

BWAH!

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

Caza pointed out the Twilight conversation hearts at the candy shop (you've got that song stuck in your head now, right? right?) the other day and I pfft'd and said, "That's so 2008."

I eagerly await your butter-flavored-topping greased exultations!

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

I can not wait for the Stoney report. I just hope you don't require emergency medical treatment for severe eye rolling.

[cappy.livejournal.com]

I can't wait to hear what you think of it because Morgan got asked to leave the theater during the big What's her Ass drowning scene because she was giggling & couldn't stop & told Edward something like, SPARKLE HARDER, MAN! And then said, "The only way this could get any funnier was if she was drowning in CHEESE! Oh WAIT! SHE IS!!!!!! BWAHAHHAAAA!"

And then she was escorted from her seat.

[domenowtrent.livejournal.com]

I have an ex girlfriend who was Wiccan and honest to god thought she was a werewolf. I wasn't allowed near her the week before or after a full moon because she couldn't trust herself not to hurt someone outside her "pack."

The funny thing is that SHE broke up with ME

[skypirateb.livejournal.com]

My sister linked me this about a week ago and I though of you

http://community.sparknotes.com/index.php/2009/07/16/blogging-twilight-index-page/

It's like reading Twilight, but without the suffering.

Can't wait to read your write up <3

[oatmellow.livejournal.com]

um. It will feel like your fdrowning BECAUSE YOU ARE MUTHA-FKIN DROWNING.

Wow. Just. WOW.

I still haven't seen NEW MOON but I don't care because my BOOK COVER WAS ON 20/20 FRIDAY NIGHT. Screw the sparkle. My cover got a full second and a close up on 20/20 bitches.

Yeah. that's right. I'm the shit. Go ahead, you can worship me now. LOL

[oatmellow.livejournal.com]

Okay, I can't stop. The mermaid thing is cracking me up. Seriously, I love how they say "If you float to the top it will reverse itself" THAT is awesome. Unless of course the pore kid believed the answer and then tried it out for herself. If she did...then I guess by the time she was floating to the top, it would be a little late for her to realize she was dead and not a mermaid. Sigh. Sadly, I'm half afraid someone would try this.

Oh how I miss the days of experimenting with drugs and just hallucinating this shit.

[underthethrow.livejournal.com]

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR REVIEW FOREVER

I'M SO EXCITED