![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stoney321You people aren't letting your kids look at this or anything, right? Because I love to swear, that's all. Like now: GODDAMN!! I have the coolest flist!! ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
spikefan bought me two months of paid LJ time and UserPics!! So the crappy icon fest will continue! You guys just rock like an igneous thing.
I'm speeding up the process by putting a few days at a time up. Previous bits are in my memories under "my Fic" or the prior post if you can work that green triangle (and I know you can). Here's the next bit:
~~~
December the Seventeenth
It is madness. There is no other word for which to call it. First thing this morning came a ring at the door. Miss Maggie rolled up her sleeves and prepared to stare down whatever was brought to our home. As soon as the door was opened, the sound went rolling through the great hall like thunder. THESE birds had cards attached. If I wasn't so angry with the thought behind the gift (or rather, the abject loss of thought) I would think they were lovely - muted colors of the forest. But once they open their mouths, the squawking caused a ringing in my ears that is just now beginning to recede. And the damned partridge, doves and hens were all back as well! Father says ladies don't swear, but I feel as if I could cry or fly into a rage at the drop of a hat.
The delivery boy visibly cringed when the door was opened. "Gov'nor, whassat about not killing the messenger? You'd not have me off just for doin' me job, would ya now?"
I did steal a glance at Father placing a well deserved kick in the seat of his pants. He's marching down the street to speak to Mrs. Haugh. Finally. I'm having Cook mix me a sleeping draught.
December the Eighteenth
It appears that Father hasn't left the large bowl of Wassail in the great hall all night. I'm tempted to tipple a bit more ale and sherry into the mix. I'm not allowed to drink sherry as of yet. At least today brought no NEW birds. Oh, the filthy buggers (horrors! whatever has gotten into me?) from the days past are back, but today brought the new extravagence of bangels of gold! William, who couldn't be bothered with but one suit. Who walked everywhere instead of taking a cab like a sensible gentleman. Whoever heard of someone wanting to "connect with the night air?" Whatever can that mean? Senseless.
The rings are quite lovely, and of a stunning quality. How such a wretch was able to purchase things of such luxury is beyond even I. I asked Father about it (he didn't seem to notice that he was holding the cage containing the hens from France - I'm concerned.) and he got a wild look about him. He told Mother and I that we were simply to find a place to keep them.
He smells of drink and rubs his neck in a most confusing manner. Having pears in winter is a lovely idea, but what on earth shall we do with the fool birds? I can't in good conscience release them to the elements... Perhaps someone has a dovecote and will take them all in.
December the Nineteenth
Bloody Hell! I don't care. These are my thoughts, and if I wish to swear, well, then... The absolute bastard has sent more birds 'round the house today. Our holiday is completely ruined. Beatrice came to call and asked "if it was true." Oh, I could die! I am utterly ruined for society, and all because of that sodding, simpering, sad sack of a dolt who cannot seem to take "no" for an answer. It will be everywhere after this.
The doorbell rang, and Beatrice chose that exact moment to "see herself out." I believe the heathen natives of Africa refer to it as "guano." Six great birds, tied together and held by some naif who curtseyed at me, handed me the rope, then proceeded to walk off! Such a honking, and in my home! I called for Miss Maggie to take them away, and I believe I may be afraid to eat tonight, so great was her wrath. At least they are laying geese, so perhaps Cook will not be so cross with today's "gift?"
The cacophony of squawking, honking, chirping, and chittering in the back sun room will surely drive me mad. The butcher is due this later afternoon.
~TBC~
spikefan bought me two months of paid LJ time and UserPics!! So the crappy icon fest will continue! You guys just rock like an igneous thing.I'm speeding up the process by putting a few days at a time up. Previous bits are in my memories under "my Fic" or the prior post if you can work that green triangle (and I know you can). Here's the next bit:
~~~
December the Seventeenth
It is madness. There is no other word for which to call it. First thing this morning came a ring at the door. Miss Maggie rolled up her sleeves and prepared to stare down whatever was brought to our home. As soon as the door was opened, the sound went rolling through the great hall like thunder. THESE birds had cards attached. If I wasn't so angry with the thought behind the gift (or rather, the abject loss of thought) I would think they were lovely - muted colors of the forest. But once they open their mouths, the squawking caused a ringing in my ears that is just now beginning to recede. And the damned partridge, doves and hens were all back as well! Father says ladies don't swear, but I feel as if I could cry or fly into a rage at the drop of a hat.
The delivery boy visibly cringed when the door was opened. "Gov'nor, whassat about not killing the messenger? You'd not have me off just for doin' me job, would ya now?"
I did steal a glance at Father placing a well deserved kick in the seat of his pants. He's marching down the street to speak to Mrs. Haugh. Finally. I'm having Cook mix me a sleeping draught.
December the Eighteenth
It appears that Father hasn't left the large bowl of Wassail in the great hall all night. I'm tempted to tipple a bit more ale and sherry into the mix. I'm not allowed to drink sherry as of yet. At least today brought no NEW birds. Oh, the filthy buggers (horrors! whatever has gotten into me?) from the days past are back, but today brought the new extravagence of bangels of gold! William, who couldn't be bothered with but one suit. Who walked everywhere instead of taking a cab like a sensible gentleman. Whoever heard of someone wanting to "connect with the night air?" Whatever can that mean? Senseless.
The rings are quite lovely, and of a stunning quality. How such a wretch was able to purchase things of such luxury is beyond even I. I asked Father about it (he didn't seem to notice that he was holding the cage containing the hens from France - I'm concerned.) and he got a wild look about him. He told Mother and I that we were simply to find a place to keep them.
He smells of drink and rubs his neck in a most confusing manner. Having pears in winter is a lovely idea, but what on earth shall we do with the fool birds? I can't in good conscience release them to the elements... Perhaps someone has a dovecote and will take them all in.
December the Nineteenth
Bloody Hell! I don't care. These are my thoughts, and if I wish to swear, well, then... The absolute bastard has sent more birds 'round the house today. Our holiday is completely ruined. Beatrice came to call and asked "if it was true." Oh, I could die! I am utterly ruined for society, and all because of that sodding, simpering, sad sack of a dolt who cannot seem to take "no" for an answer. It will be everywhere after this.
The doorbell rang, and Beatrice chose that exact moment to "see herself out." I believe the heathen natives of Africa refer to it as "guano." Six great birds, tied together and held by some naif who curtseyed at me, handed me the rope, then proceeded to walk off! Such a honking, and in my home! I called for Miss Maggie to take them away, and I believe I may be afraid to eat tonight, so great was her wrath. At least they are laying geese, so perhaps Cook will not be so cross with today's "gift?"
The cacophony of squawking, honking, chirping, and chittering in the back sun room will surely drive me mad. The butcher is due this later afternoon.
~TBC~
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 11:08 am (UTC)Or something.
Julia, raining out there. Who'd have guessed
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 01:22 pm (UTC)Thanks for coming out to play, BTW.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 11:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 01:22 pm (UTC)And I am totally cracking up over that icon.
Geese suck.
Date: 2004-12-10 01:36 pm (UTC)Glad you like the icon *g* Stewie rules "You know you want it because you're a dirty girl *bites air*" *snicker*
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 11:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 01:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 11:52 am (UTC)I believe the heathen natives of Africa refer to it as "guano." I love this honkin' story.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 01:25 pm (UTC)I made him listen to me read the whole story last night in my impeccable accent, and he cracked up at the "guano" line. I may have to call you and read the funny bits... It'll be like Lubed! all over again!
..can I finish?
Date: 2004-12-10 01:40 pm (UTC)Caza and I are headed downtown tonight to take Max's picture in his Santa hat amid the sparkling lights of Bricktown. We're geeks. With a dog.
Re: ..can I finish?
Date: 2004-12-10 02:44 pm (UTC)Pik tours. Wif doggies in hats! Must post. YOU HEAR ME??
Re:canonized (you know, made a saint, not sanitized until all the fanony smutty bits are gone from h
Date: 2004-12-10 02:53 pm (UTC)And Cecily certainly isn't up on her carols, is she? How long is it gonna take for the stupid bint to "get" it?
At least they won't have to worry about purchasing the Christmas goose! (Or the New Year's goose, Valentine's Day goose, Easter goose . . .)
Re: canonized (you know, made a saint, not sanitized until all the fanony smutty bits are gone from
Date: 2004-12-10 03:13 pm (UTC)Interesting thing about the song: not very popular. It was known, but people were still caroling the religious standards. Like God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and Silent Night. SO she may have a passing knowledge of it, but then again, she's pretty self-focused, so she must not think he is really going to follow through on the entire list. Plus: she thinks of him as poor, and you DID NOT buy presents for people with more money that you. So...
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 12:20 pm (UTC)~runs and hides~
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 01:27 pm (UTC)10Q for the love, and my heart is swelling with periocardio infection, or maybe just a whole lotta love fer ya!
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 02:25 pm (UTC)Please don't lose faith in this story. I'm enjoying it immensely.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 02:45 pm (UTC)Thank you so much for saying you like it. It means alot that my friends will read the detritus I throw on screen...
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 02:58 pm (UTC)I can't in good conscience release them to the elements
She has a conscience? Who knew? And now she's cursing? How uncouth.
And I love the word 'chittering', love it.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 03:15 pm (UTC)Just wait until the gifts keep coming. Cecily does lose complete control over her tongue and manner...
My kids are singing the first verse of "Feliz Navidad" over and over in the other room. Makes me long for the chittering of birds... Ha ha!
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 03:58 pm (UTC)i always wondered what the deal with all the birds was in that song.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 07:26 pm (UTC)Can I also say that my favorite version of this song is sung by The Muppets? And I can't hear "5 gold rings!" without following it with "ba dum bum bum." And Beaker wins hands down for 9.. "mee mee mee mee mee mee mee..."
I am seriously losing it.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 07:22 pm (UTC)/* Mind whirling with the possibilities */
As you can tell, I'm having fun.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 07:28 pm (UTC)I'm glad you are enjoying this! I had fun writing it, and I re-read it in my head in the most haughty Cecily tone that makes me laugh.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-11 01:20 am (UTC)Also, the word gov'nor makes me laugh. Don't know why.
"Mornin' gov'nor!" ::affects fake Southern accent:: Hahah.
Mmmm...is she going to roast the geese? Gluttonous minds want to know.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-11 05:52 am (UTC)Have I told you how much I appreciate you commenting to each post? You rule like an iron fisted demigod.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-11 05:43 am (UTC)OOOoh, you could always do a phone post and read them aloud to us.
::bats eyes fetchingly::
no subject
Date: 2004-12-11 05:54 am (UTC)I LOVE the idea of a phone post!! Perhaps I'll do that at the last... Since most people will be home for the holidays (regardless of being Christian, most of Western Civilization gets those days off) it may be fun to have your ear glued to the speaker instead of being with friends and family... Oh, just me that thinks that? Huh. ;-)
no subject
Date: 2004-12-11 06:52 am (UTC)I am so so grateful that Jeff doesn't hunt. This is an advantage to marrying a computer geek. Having the house littered with computer magazines and gear boxes is much less...stinky.
And whee! for the phone post!
no subject
Date: 2004-12-14 04:37 pm (UTC)Angela