THIS IS WELL OUT OF ORDER.

[stoney321]

OMG, I'm so spammy, but I need adult interaction, lol. So we got a notice in the mail today. Allow me:

Dear Mr. [my husband's actual name],

We wanted to take a moment to let you know how much we appreciate your hard work in helping make the community look its best.

GREAT YARD!

Thank you [His name again]
Signed,
[Our HOA]

UM WHO'S HARD WORK? LIKE, SUPER DUPER HARD WORK AND I'VE NOT EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT THE LITERAL TON OF GRASS I MOVED LAST WEEK??? *cry* Guys, I'm an unloved middle child, I just need recognition. Ahahaha.

[I'm not actually angry, so please don't leave me a comment as if I was really anguished. BUT I AM ANGUISHED. I'm just keeping you on your toes!]

Comments

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

*face*

That's... kinda sexist.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you how many times neighbors have seen us outside (I having been digging, etc. and him sitting and keeping me company, and I like it that way) and start asking him advice on how to do blah blah blah.


To his credit he always says, "Oh, I only know how to push a mower, my wife is the gardener."

[captainofidiots.livejournal.com]

You deserve a margarita and a massage. Pronto.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I CONCUR, MADAM.

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

I'm totally making the face in your Fred icon right now. Wow. Not even addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Stoney? Just Mr. Stoney? My soul is crying for you.

[jgracio.livejournal.com]

Well now, we can't have no Texas Rose doing gardening, now can we? :D

So surely it must be the work of the Mister. Or some sort of alien from south of the border...


But hey, the work was recognized. That counts for something, right?

[dovil.livejournal.com]

Maybe they just saw you out in the yard and thought you were a dude. It could be that! lol

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Yep, to him alone. BOO, OLD LADIES THAT WORK AT THE HOA OFFICE. BOO.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

LOL. OMG, the scariest thing you'll ever meet is a Rosarian that happens to be a DAR member. She'll cut your throat!

And yes, I was happy that the work was recognized, I'm just being spammy. :)

[a-mistletoe.livejournal.com]

*grumbles* I was just about to get my torches and pitchforks out.

Now get in that kitchen and make [husband's real name]'s dinner at once.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I knew I would regret those testicle pants! The lady at the store assured me they were the latest style as they "heightened my femininity through contrast" but now I see that she was full of lies and boogers.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA, that would be awesome! And I feel as if your hands are on my shoulders, your eyes boring into mine as if to say "I SEE YOU." I do not appreciate what you're doing with your foot, however.

OMG, that is badass of your mom!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I better freshen my lipstick, he's work so hard all day, he doesn't need to come home to a frump! *adds to To Do List to listerine-douche*

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

This is apropos of NOTHING but I'm listening to the podcast of your "It's Twilite, Innit?" and HOWLING.

[a-mistletoe.livejournal.com]

I am pleased to see that wifely duties are still close to your heart, next to the margaritas of course.

[fishwithfeet.livejournal.com]

You are obviously so anguished! It is an affront to your status as Gardener (notice it's capitalized, it's a TITLE) that they should assume the Mister did all the work! HOW DARE THEY


:D :D :D


Also... if I'm driving through Texas on my way from Florida to Washington state, can I stop by and have some yummy drinks with you? Maybe hop in the pool?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA. YAY!

[heidishambles.livejournal.com]

OMG I so can't believe they just said that!

Sexist piglets. You better set them right.

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

Do they not know they sent this to the husband of a MASTER GARDENER? How DARE. No, really in all seriousness, it should be addressed to the household, that's just proper etiquette and everyone knows all household decisions and modifications are made and overseen by the missus

[dovil.livejournal.com]

Were they the pants with the easy breathing testicles trailing out of the crotch, or the ones that were made out of the testicles of your enemies with the matching earing seat and bikini top? Because I've got to say your drycleaning bills must be a bitch if that's your gardening outfit with them having to scrub out all that dirt encrusted into those scrotum folds. I told you: formal only, missy!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

They were the country testicles, where it's a mishmash of farm animals' genitalia.

I picked that because the dirt gives it "character."

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I AM DISTRAUGHT. HORRIBLY DISTRAUGHT.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Mm hmm, those WOMEN did me wrong. Why the women hatin' on women bid-nazz? HATERZ GONE HATE.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I'm right there with you on it needing to have been addressed to the HOUSEHOLD. Harumph!

[copykween.livejournal.com]

Wow, good job, HOA! Haha I guess it would have been too hard to at least put Mr. AND MRS. Stoney?