'tis a confused wind blowing

[stoney321]

I hate the wind. HATE. IT. Hate being out in it, hate having my hair go into my mouth, then my eyes, then walking into stuff because I can't see. Hate having my clothes plastered to my body exposing my less than taut self. BAH!! No more going outside today. Which means no more THUNDERDOME, and I've been teaching Emily how to touch her toes. Boo! To get out of my grumpy mood, I'm going to spam your flists with lists! Whee!


Things I Don't Want to See on TV

• Fred Burkle: Snakemaster! (now if it was Lilah...)


• Clem and Snyder: The Love Continues (well, if it was modeled after Sonny & Cher, maybe)


• Shopping With Dawn! Get the tips and tricks of a pro!


• Cops: Sunnydale


• Charlotte's Web 2: Dead doesn't mean gone

Things I DO Want to See on TV

• Faith and Spike on a motocycle, fighting demons 'round the world


• The forgotten Shanshu episode


• The Xander in Africa show


• The forgotten "all nude" episode of Angel.


• Spike without the "sock"


• The 5 minutes that were cut from Buffy Season 3 when Angel comes back, nekkid on the floor and he stands up. Nekkid. Why's they cut that?


• The missing Troika episode where they re-make Star Trek and Jonathan and Andrew fight over who's going to play Spock, and Jonathan ends up as Uhura

• The abuse of the word "technology." Zip-lock^TM claims to have "yellow and blue makes green" technology. WTF?


• "Hand crafted burgers" No monkey paws!! ANd little old ladies knit burger cozies to keep them safe until you eat them.


• Buzz words like "metrics" "granulation" and "off line." I actually heard this in a meeting the other day: "Let's discuss the metrics of your proposal off line so we can determine the level of granulation in that report." Uh, we're a gardening group. Is that REALLY necessary? Dirt good, tree pretty.


• The misuse of the word "actually" and "literally." Listen to the TV. They use it incorrectly all the time.


• Y'all (not Y'ALL, though) not spelling that contraction properly. It's you and all. Knock out the "ou" and stick in an apostrophe. Read it spelled ya'll in a PUBLISHED BOOK.

This is bad. I'm NEVER whiney in my journal. Here's some funny from McSweeny's.

Pick up lines from Serial Killers

• Hey baby, you look so good in those jeans I 'd like to chop your legs off.


• Was your daddy a thief? I'm not. I'm a serial killer.


• If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop screaming?


• That shirt looks great on you, but it would look even better in an evidence bag.


• Will you run away from me somewhere romantic?


• Do you come here often? I don't, because I only leave my underground cave when the voice of Marilu Henner inside my head tells me I must prowl the earth for victims, or Jesus will hurt my dog.


• I love you.

GAH!! Forgot to mention that I found a stack of packages I forgot to mail! kita0610, sangueuk, vincitveritas, and mskakaako they were mailed this morning! Hence the being in the wind and crankiness.

Comments

<-- am happy now! Drank a Coke!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Drop the first "h" and heigth is a word. Weighth is just retarded. If they used "page turning technology" with their dictionary, they'd know that.

And there is no "cow" in Moscow. And there were 10. Or 5 pairs.

hee!

[likeadeuce.livejournal.com]

The missing Troika episode where they re-make Star Trek and Jonathan and Andrew fight over who's going to play Spock, and Jonathan ends up as Uhura

hee, you always make me laugh.

but what could be wrong with Fred Burkle: Snakemaster? I bet Wes & Gunn would be all over that one. Not to mention Willow, if the snakes weren't excessively phallic. (ponders non-phallic snakes)

I apologize for not reading your Anne/Gilbert fics. I am sure they are lovely but it happens that I hate those books with an entirely irrational but fiery passion. sometimes happens.

<-- IN YOUR FACE!!! Hee hee!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

but see, Fred Burkle would giggle and go off on tangents and push her glasses up a lot while talking to the audience and get bitten. So, that would be the problem. There is a current program on The Discovery Channel called "Austin Stevens: Snakemaster!" that this is a joke on.)

I am not paying any attention to your last two sentences. (I've noticed you hate the girly/feminine/goofy chicks. Except for Fred. Huh.)

[smashsc.livejournal.com]

Faith and Spike on a motocycle, fighting demons 'round the world

Oh, man, yes, so much yes (and I don't even love Spike).

I admit I don't put the apostrophe in y'all all the time, or even most of the time. Sorry. *prepares for 50 lashes with a wet noodle*

Re: <-- IN YOUR FACE!!! Hee hee!

[likeadeuce.livejournal.com]

(I've noticed you hate the girly/feminine/goofy chicks. Except for Fred. Huh.)

And I usually hate Fred when she's like that, honestly. this is interesting, because it's not something I've ever thought before, but it probably has some truth in it. hmm, I like Buffy & Willow, and they can both be girly. . . though those are probably the moments I like them least. I like Tara, but she has a certain gravitas that negates her goofy-chickness for me. The best I can do is that I've experience with women who act that way and I tend to think it's a front of some kind. Which I guess is why I can like Willow & Buffy . . . there's always a sense that they're being flaky girls as a cover for something deeper; which perhaps was the idea with Fred, but it didn't always come across (I still can't watch Supersymmetry except for the scenes with Wes).

so now I'm interested . . .I don't have a good answer for why this is, but taking what you know about me, do you care to analyze this?

really -- consciously at least -- I just thought LMM's prose sucked when I tried to read it as an early teen -- but seriously, Tolkien's prose sucks too, and I ate those puppies up.

did you ever happen to read the book Up a Road Slowly by Irene Hunt? I think it had a lot in common with the Anne books, in terms of setting and themes and such, but I absolutely adored and worshipped that book, while I couldn't deal with Anne.

best thing about LMM? she introduced me to the name Cordelia -- wasn't that the name of Anne's alter-ego? Cordelia Montmerency, or some such? Up a Road Slowly has an aunt Cordelia, and since then I've never met a Cordelia I didn't like.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

Evan (7 years old) took me to task for using the word literally too lightly the other day. He'd learned it from the Lemony Snicket books. There's nothing more pedantic than a 7-year old with a new vocabulary word.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I will call it the Jan Hooks/Victoria Jackson principle. I HATE chicks like Melanie Griffith, Victoria Jackson, etc. Chicks that do the baby talk, giggly, sex thing. YUCK. But then, I hate someone who is challenging and confrontational like Courtney Love. Mainly because she's skanky and gross to boot.

That being sad, I identify with someone like Anne. Dream-prone, lost in a world of imagination, feminine but not overtly so... Don't forget she was the brain, too. I recall you saying you hated Garden State mainly because of Natalie Portman. That the only reason she was in the movie was because she's pretty.

I would disagree. I KNOW those kind of girls: pretty, but not All American Looks pretty, goofy, heart on their sleeve... I wonder if you associate "girly" with weak. In the case of Victoria and Melanie, yup.

I haven't read that book you mentioned. I wonder if you hate the Anne books because they are rather flowery and gossipy (about Avonlea). Honestly, that's why I didn't read past book 6. I wanted to hear about Anne and Gilbert, not neighbors, etc. Probably why the Emily series is my favorite. It's darker.

And she did wish her name was Cordelia. Ha!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I would prefer no apostrophe to a misplaced one.

How kick ass of a show would that be? Leather and exhaust, baby.

[somecandytalkin.livejournal.com]

Ha!

Three words I have irrational issues with:
'Proactive', 'signage' and
'Handmade', as in 'Handmade Mexican Food'. I don't really want to think about so much touching. Of the food.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ha!! That word... I do not think it means what you think it means.

My husband comes home with a new buzz word every day, it seems. he's in consulting, so they seem to make up stuff to sound impressive. Anything typed and sent is now considered an "artifact."

He also busted someone in marketing for using the word "impact-full." Hyphen and everything. Huh?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I know!! There is a Chili's commercial that describes their burgers as "hand crafted." Just... retarded.

BTW: I made you a new icon! You are so easy to make them for... Take it if you want, then I'll delete it off of my list so it's all special. (Was digging for Ed Gorey pics and just HAD to.)

[blueswan9.livejournal.com]

Clem and Snyder: The Love Continues bwhahahahaha
(well, if it was modeled after Sonny & Cher, maybe)

Oh, thank you. I haven't read a word further. I remember the Sonny & Cher show with a kind of horrified fondness. When I can stop laughing, I will read the rest of the lest.

[zyrya]

Faith and Spike on a motocycle, fighting demons 'round the world

Oh god, yes. I even came up with this idea completely independently, it's such an obviously perfect premise for a Buffy spin-off. (As, I believe, did a lot of others.)

My pet peeve is misuse of 'momentarily'. As in the pilot saying "we'll be taking off momentarily." Yeah? And then what? We crash-land into a mountain?

Also qualifying 'unique' ... "very unique", "quite unique", "somewhat unique". Unique's like pregnant, people, either you are or you ain't. Y'all.

[mirasol.livejournal.com]

I hate it when the wind is like that AND it's raining. You know, the kind of rain that seems to fall upwards?
*brushes your hair gently and sings calming songs*

Jonathon as Uhura? Okay. But I'd thought that Andrew would rather be the Intendant from the DS9 mirror universe. And if that image doesn't make you smile, I don't know what will.

BTW, I'm placid and easy-going. But use the wrong one from "they're, their, or there" and I'm likely to wolf out. That really gets on my tits.

And, thanks to the vaguaries of the Royal Mail, I got the Dance CD today! *big (platonic) smoochies and hugs!*

[somecandytalkin.livejournal.com]

Wheeee!!! I loooove Edward Gorey:
"Life is strange and oft uncertain" she said and went to draw the curtain.
The Doubtful Guest (and I'm at work so I can't check my Amphigorey to see if that's exactly it, but you know.)
Love the icon! Saved it!

[chantal87.livejournal.com]

Buck up Cupcake
I sent you a little something today.
You should have it this week :)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I was in a Gorey mood. N is for Neville.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hee! It would be, like, the best song and dance show EVER.

I'll be here.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Gah. "Quality."

"That's a real quality item." Uh.. good or bad?

This is why I love George Carlin. I'm not getting ON the plane, I'm getting IN the plane, asshole!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*is soothed and attractive now*

BWAH!!! Spike could make an appearnce as Q.

Now WHAT IS THIS!!! The postman just came to the door with a package from you!!! you get your own post in a bit.

FORTUNE TELLER FISH!! I love you so hard.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

"Fer me????" she squeaks.

But you're all busy and stuff!

*am bucked*

[smashsc.livejournal.com]

darn, does that mean I won't be getting my lashing then?

leather, exhaust, ass kicking, leather, Faith pushing people up against chain link fences, leather.

[kimberly-a.livejournal.com]

I have the wind problem, too. When I lived in Scotland for a year (as compared to weatherless Southern California), I quickly learned to french-braid my hair, if only out of self-defense. My hair was about 3 feet long at the time, and could completely blind me while simultaneously whipping out to blind people walking nowhere near me. Walking through a mall in Durham, England, my hair got caught on the coat button of a man walking the opposite direction and pulled a whole chunk out of my head. It was insanity, I tell you. Insanity!

I recommend the restraining of the hair. I recommend the use of restraints. Um ... yeah.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Here's how windy it is today: I had my hair (mid-back length) back in a clip and the wind blew it out. Fuuuuuh.

My solution? Stay indoors and bake yeast rolls. Want one?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

There's a trend in your words, but hell if I can find it....

Which just reminds me of a horrible joke: WHat do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhinocerous?

Heliphino. (Hell if I know. I explained that because it's a really difficult brain teaser. The wind beat my brain and it's broke.)

<------ can you tell how bored I am?

[mirasol.livejournal.com]

...And you're renewing the restraining order as well?

[kimberly-a.livejournal.com]

In my experience, nothing works but the french-braid. I've tried *everything*. Clips, ponytails, buns, bobby pins ... only the french-brain can control the mightyness that is my hair.

And while I greatly appreciate the offer of a yeast roll, I fear I am currently (i.e., for the past couple weeks) suffering stomach flu-type symptoms, and I so I will most likely be having ginger ale instead. :(

[smashsc.livejournal.com]

trend, what trend might that be? certainly not my thing for leather, couldn't be that!

and I like your joke. Have I ever told you my two bad/dirty jokes?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Go!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I concur on the strength of the french braid. However, I have a chihuahua head, and when my hair is pulled back tight, the teenyness of my skull is shown in all it's wee-ness.

Basically I got pissed because of my vanity. But am no longer grumpy! Wind is dying down, no need to step outdoors today, no worries of hair trapped in lipstick.

*puts ice in your gingerale and gives you a peppermint*

#1. a nun joke.

[smashsc.livejournal.com]

Two nuns are on a leisurely bike ride through a small town when they decide to take a detour up a long cobblestone road. When they get to the end of the road one nun turns to the other and says, "I don't think I've ever come that way before." And the other replies, "Must be the stones."

#2

[smashsc.livejournal.com]

Two housewives are out grocery shopping when they see a 20something guy buying flowers and they start reminencsing. Housewife 1 says, "My husband never buys me flowers anymore." Housewife 2 says, "Really? My husband bought me flowers on Monday." "What a wonderful husband you have, must be nice" "Not really. It means I'm going to have to lay on my back with my feet around my head for two weeks." The first housewife looks at the second with a shocked look and replies, "What, you don't have a vase?"

[kimberly-a.livejournal.com]

Hats! Have you considered hats?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ballcaps and visors are old friends of mine. The bucket hat, too.

I walked outside with a ballcap this morning and I had to run across to the neighbor's side yard to retrieve it. That was the beginning of the grumpy morning.

Super glue or Aqua Net are the only things that can hold in this kind of gale. And now there is an eerie calm....

[paynbow.livejournal.com]

The missing Troika episode where they re-make Star Trek and Jonathan and Andrew fight over who's going to play Spock, and Jonathan ends up as Uhura

Oh, god! They need to make it IMMEDIATELY!!! I'll fund the production costs! *g*

Do you come here often? I don't, because I only leave my underground cave when the voice of Marilu Henner inside my head tells me I must prowl the earth for victims, or Jesus will hurt my dog.

Bahahahahahahah!!!! I love it!

*hugs you and shields yoy from the wind* *g*

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

That shirt looks great on you, but it would look even better in an evidence bag.

Tee. And hee. Well, you knew I'd be the one to pick up on the serial killer lines, since we share the opinion that Silence of the Lambs is pure comedy gold....

The wind? Blows. (She says with no ironic awareness.) Long hair + wind = pissed off Sue, mumbling through a mouthful of hair. Damn...Thunderdome - denied. Caza's watching Lost, I'm trying to stay awake...

[violethamster.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can just see Clem tossing back his skin flaps and wearing shiny shiny dresses. And Snyder would be repeatedly interrupting all the musical numbers to yell at kids in the audience. I'd watch that.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Wind? She is gone.

If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you stop screaming? Best. Pickup line. Ever.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Was your daddy a thief? I'm not. I'm a serial killer.

Ha!!! PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!!

Hard, confused winds is proof that there is no God. Ha! I'm going to piss people off with that. I shall meet them with honor in the THUNDERDOME. (Dude. you forgot it's in all caps. Come on, now.)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

And they can make Snyde (hee!) remarks about each other.

"If I was that short, I'd be angry too!"

"You hide your snacks in those flaps?"

"Let's sing a number for the kids..."

[vincitveritas.livejournal.com]

Ew, ya'll? Is that "ya will" or something? Blech. Bad grammar sucks.

I'm gettng a package? Did I know about this or do I just have the worst memory ever? Either way, I'm excited!

[mskakaako.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks sweetie pie! I will be compulsively checking my mailbox everyday now. You're the best! Hey baby, you look so good in those jeans, I 'd like to chop your legs off. Oh yeah! ROWR!
Hey, you have the Arcade Fire album yet? If not, it's yours. Let me know! I need to shut up about them, but I just can't help myself.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You did. Dumbass. You just forgot. Ha! Some of the CDs from my big CD project back in November.

WHEE! (ANd Anchorman!!)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

WHEEE!!! You have 3 coming. No, I don't have the disc yet, so if you were feeling up to it... Hooray!!

Those pick up lines STILL have me laughing.

Now, did you see my previous posts with the Anne/Gilbert fics? No one was harmed in the writing of those fics. I would NEVER besmirch the good name of the citizens of Avonlea, hand to heaven. (Kinda did it for you and another chick on my flist.)

Heart you, too!

[mskakaako.livejournal.com]

Now, did you see my previous posts with the Anne/Gilbert fics? No one was harmed in the writing of those fics. I would NEVER besmirch the good name of the citizens of Avonlea, hand to heaven. (Kinda did it for you and another chick on my flist.)

I haven't checked on my FL for a few days, so I haven't seen it yet! I will definately read it though. Might not be today. It's been crazy busy over here. I was just checking on a few of my favourite people and then logging out. Also, who is this other chick? Would she chop your legs off? Think about it. Hee!

Whee! I'm going to convert you. Arcade Fire is coming to your neck of the woods. GO!!! Please!! It's a cheap show.
*mwah*

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

The forgotten "all nude" episode of Angel.

That's the top one on my list...

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping it's an Easter Egg on the Season 5 DVD.

*crosses fingers AND toes*
*crosses eyes for good measure*