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stoney321Dear dude in the black truck with blacked out windows driving past my house - very slowly, mind - four times as I worked in the garden:
WTF, dude? Hey, I'm a lady and have lady parts that dudes in vehicles like yours fancy. And dudes in vehicles like yours don't often ask permission to get their mitts on lady parts. SO EXCUSE MY GLARING AT YOU, but my first instinct isn't that you're checking out my lovely flowers, but that you're wanting to chloroform me and pluck my lady flower, if you catch my meaning.
AND WHEN I MOUTH "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" AT YOU, FLIPPING ME OFF IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER. But me approaching your vehicle on the fourth pass with my pitchfork in hand WAS the right answer.
Which is probably why you didn't drive by a fifth time.
And I called the local police station with your license plate number, because seriously, dude: WTF?
Signed, ME, the chick with the pitchfork who isn't afraid to use it.
WTF, dude? Hey, I'm a lady and have lady parts that dudes in vehicles like yours fancy. And dudes in vehicles like yours don't often ask permission to get their mitts on lady parts. SO EXCUSE MY GLARING AT YOU, but my first instinct isn't that you're checking out my lovely flowers, but that you're wanting to chloroform me and pluck my lady flower, if you catch my meaning.
AND WHEN I MOUTH "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" AT YOU, FLIPPING ME OFF IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER. But me approaching your vehicle on the fourth pass with my pitchfork in hand WAS the right answer.
Which is probably why you didn't drive by a fifth time.
And I called the local police station with your license plate number, because seriously, dude: WTF?
Signed, ME, the chick with the pitchfork who isn't afraid to use it.
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Date: 2012-07-17 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-17 11:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-17 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-17 11:10 pm (UTC)That is all.
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Date: 2012-07-17 11:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-17 11:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-17 11:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-17 11:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-17 11:45 pm (UTC)That sort of behavior is just not on.
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Date: 2012-07-17 11:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-17 11:24 pm (UTC)pitchfork my ass.
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Date: 2012-07-17 11:32 pm (UTC)It was too hot for my bandeliro leathers, woe.
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Date: 2012-07-17 11:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-18 12:05 am (UTC)I could not possibly love you more.
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Date: 2012-07-18 01:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-18 12:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-18 01:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-18 12:34 am (UTC)Install a cannon on your front lawn and if someone drives past for whatever reason shoot them preemptively.
As a Doctor (half a masters, whatevs) I'm prescribing 200 cc of wine as a medicinal relaxant nerve tonic.
I would a video of that tazering every Christmas.
Date: 2012-07-18 01:33 am (UTC)I HAVE THAT MUCH WINE RIGHT NOW, but I think I need it in a drip...
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Date: 2012-07-18 01:07 am (UTC)I hate it when things like that happen. To anyone. Anywhere. Ever.
*sigh*
Very happy you own a large pitchfork and called the cops.
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Date: 2012-07-18 01:34 am (UTC)And if he wasn't interested in chloroforming me (ha), then did he think I would be flattered? WHO ARE THESE CRAZY WOMEN GIVING THESE MEN THAT IDEA? That's a real head scratcher.
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Date: 2012-07-18 02:07 am (UTC)Good on you for calling the police. I hope they run his plates, realize he has priors for assault a mile long, stop him, arrest him and clear up two or three disappearances, all in one fell swoop. Congrats, Stoney!
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Date: 2012-07-18 05:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-18 11:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-18 12:02 pm (UTC)Anger/Disgust/Anger
Date: 2012-07-18 01:04 pm (UTC)NO WOMAN gave that arse the idea that this was ok.
In his mind, however? Bitches probably are askin' for that shit every day, as he is god's gift and they are lucky to be in his sights, the stupid whores.
Motion activated camera linked to your puter. That he didn't immediately realize the error in his ways when confronted verbally, makes me wonder if even a visit from the popo will straighten him out.
I would very much like to club that man in the knees & at least limit his mobility. And yeah, I do have a strong reaction to that stuff.
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Date: 2012-07-19 12:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-21 02:56 pm (UTC)