Crusilla Fic - Part Two

[stoney321]

Although it sounds shippy, it isn't. Maybe it'll stay that way. They're both pretty lonely...

Continued from here.

Family - The Ties That Bind
Author: Stoney321, beta'd by Crazydiamondsue
Disclaimer: I don't own, make money, or have dinner with the characters from Joss' playpen. I do have coffee with them, but that's between me and my lord.
Rating: It's clean, but Dru can be scary. Don't read this to three year olds. No squicks. Unless damn fine story telling is a squick. O_O
Summary: Set between Season 3 and 4 of AtS. How Connor filled his time while "searching" for his dad. And who found him.


Part Two

Sweet and soft and sugary like candy. She always liked the young ones with their tender flesh, their blood fresh and sweet with a hint of their mother's milk. They stopped the ache she carried inside, the ache for her own child. Becoming a demon should have quelled that, but then, she wasn't like the others. That's why Daddy chose her above all others.

She thought she'd want to make him her baby, but when she touched him, her mouth didn't flood with the taste of peppermints and lollipops. She didn't feel the familiar and cruel ache in her belly - the ache that led to snapping of necks and dressing up dollies. She felt something squeezing her chest, she felt prickers in her eyes, and her arms felt empty. At night, she anticipated his arrival and would sit primly, hands folded in her lap, and wait. She wouldn't hunt out of respect for him. When he did arrive, she didn't feel the need to rock him or taste him. Instead, he would sit next to her, shoulders touching and she would just ... rest. Sometimes Drusilla let her head lay on his shoulder. Her brother - so warm.


*~*~*
Connor walked around the abandoned warehouse for a fourth time. It was becoming more and more difficult for him to sneak away from Fred and Gunn. They always wanted to accompany him when he left to "look for clues about my father." If they knew he was meeting Drusilla, they'd probably stake him, too.

He stood outside the door, felt his heartbeat racing, and forced himself to relax. He knew she was on the other side of the door, watching, feeling him. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, letting her live, but with Holtz gone... He had no one. No one that cared about him. Well, not anymore.

Hand on the door, he took several deep breaths, reminding himself who -what - he was before he opened it. She sat on a crate opposite the door. There were blankets draped over them to protect her delicate dress. While he lay in his bed trying to sleep, he wondered about her delicate clothing. She was a killer, dangerous, but she wore the trappings of a lady. It belied her strength.

The corner of her mouth twitched into a smile when she saw him. He couldn't help but give her a small one in return.

They had met like this twice since their initial meeting on the pier. Usually, they sat in silence, becoming used to one another. Their last meeting, Connor had ventured so far as to ask how old she was.

"Oh, ages."

"No, I guess I mean- how old were you? When he changed you?"

She turned to look him in the eye. Her hand stole into his lap, she twined her fingers in his, said, "I think about your age. Bit older. Big Sister, looking out for Baby Brother."

She smiled, and the hunter had gone away. He didn't feel the hair on his neck creeping up. Holtz's voice was squashed under his sister's steady gaze.

Now they sit, shoulder to shoulder, lost in thought and being near one another for a few hours.

"Musn't stop breathing - you'll end up blue-faced like Daddy."

He didn't realize she had noticed. He would hold his breath when they sat, learning to be as still as she. Always in training - Holtz had taught him well.

"We can smell the sunrise, did he teach you that?"

"You- ? What's it smell like?"

"Hurt." A beat. "Time for you to go back, my Connor. The warrior and her mate will wonder and look for you. Think terrible things, they will."

"The warrior? Fred?" He laughs at the thought.

Drusilla just looks at him, her thumb working back and forth along his slender fingers. "Tick tock tick tock. Time will tell all."

He stands in the doorway, lingering for a moment before turning his head slightly. "Be good. For me?"

"But I'm ever so hungry... What if they are very bad?"

"Drusilla," his voice a warning. "Well, I guess if they are really bad, I don't mind. Once."

Drusilla claps her hands, then stops abruptly, sensing his scorn. She looks solemn and makes a cross over her heart then pinches her lips togther. "Only the most wicked, my love. I'll punish them. I'll be just like Baby Brother. Righteous, I'll be."

He stiffens, then yanks the door open and strides through, missing her more with every step, cursing himself for wanting someone, -thing, he corrects.

But missing her all the same.

She speaks to his retreating back, knowing he can't hear her, but speaking all the same. "What havoc wrought upon a bright one's morals... She was wrong. We love the wicked and the weak, as well as the strong."

TBC... right here

*~*~*~*~*


[ETA] Forgot to give credit for being influenced by the line: "We love the wicked and the weak, as well as the strong" 'Tis inspired from James Merrill's poem, Matinees.

Comments

[elucidate-this.livejournal.com]

this is fabulous. they are both so lonely and you do a wonderful job of conveying it.

[likeadeuce.livejournal.com]

oh Lord, this is absolutely wonderful. Such a terrific Dru voice, and I love how Connor comes off as being so together in comparison. Connor can be a cunning little bastido, too!

[marsterslady.livejournal.com]

_deleted other comment to fix the typo_

The first two paragraphs .. oh my GOSH are they fantastic. I love the way that you've described this in such a way that I can feel it, and directly from Drusilla's perspective. That's incredible.

I love the rest, too. I find this a completely believable theory about what Connor was doing during that time.

There is definitely one more part, for those who are interested. It's headed off to Sue and Vinnie later today for a beta.

I am filled with anticipation. :)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you! In my head it just makes sense that if they knew of each other, they would seek each other out. Family is so important to the two of them...

(and thank you thank you for reading and commenting. *kiss!*)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Connor is VERY cunning, he is. But his sister knows all. She just has a hard time explaining it. :-D (I re-read "The Yellow Wallpaper" in prep for writing the next bit. It's fun to climb into Dru's world. Um, my interpretation of her world, I should say.)

Thank you, Carrie. Your opinion carries much weight, you know.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Alley! I don't think Connor is on your list of fave characters (which would be par for the course with my flist - hee!) but I find him so tragic, so broken... And of course, baring her serial killer tendencies, I feel so, so badly for Dru.

I really appreciate you taking the time to read, as I know most people have their "things" they prefer to spend their valuable time on!

[inlovewithnight.livejournal.com]

Ohhh, I love the idea that poor Dru finally gets a moment to rest.

And you KNEW I'd love this:
The warrior and her mate

C'mon, admit it, that was for me. ::bats eyelashes at you:: :)

[marsterslady.livejournal.com]

I don't think Connor is on your list of fave characters

I've only watched Angel through once, and I did that rather rapidly, trying to get caught up before season 5 began. I came to the shows late. I didn't focus on Connor. I think that when I rewatch the series, I'll see him differently. I don't dislike him at all, and have a lot of friends who just absolutely love him. I think you're writing him really well here.

[spikendru.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is really lovely! Connor and Drusilla are both so broken; it's wonderful that you hooked them up as family!

Another part, for those who are interested? *waves hand wildly in air, calling "Me! Me!"*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

It's funny, but the more I watch Angel, the more I like it than Buffy. (Shh! Don't tell!) I go back and forth on that, however. I HATED Angel, Season 4 while it aired, but the more I think about it, the more I'm amazed at how much they crammed in and really told some good tales. Of course, there is also a lot of missing Gunn - where'd he go? Who is that black man in the background not doing anything? *pets handsome Gunn*

And again, THANK YOU!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Well.... DUH!! :-D

(Thanks, Sam! Holding up? I see you've posted... I'll go check up on you!)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *stares at poor, broken Connor in your icon*

However, I'm prety sure it was Angel who made them family. In a way. Ha! I'm just the weirdo that is smooshing the two together. Hmm. This fic may hang a left... :-D

[paynbow.livejournal.com]

She didn't feel the familiar and cruel ache in her belly - the ache that led to snapping of necks and dressing up dollies.

I love that line.

I'm DEFINITELY interested in the next part. You write Dru and Connor so well.

Day-umn Fine Storytelling

[somecandytalkin.livejournal.com]

Yummmm. So lush and shivery. I love the way you've written it.
Perfect language and mood.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

I adore this story. Of course Connor now wants to know more about his sister, not just his father. How old she is/was, what sunrise smells like to her...

Drusilla sees Fred as a warrior -- wonder if she has a vision of Fred with the taser. It's coming for you, Connor.

Who is Drusilla quoting there at the end? Does she see Connor as wicked and weak? Or herself?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks, Heather. The more I think about Drusilla out of context as the "crazy vampire, ha ha!" the more she just hurts me.

Re: Day-umn Fine Storytelling

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thanks, SCT. I've had a BLAST talking with you the past 24 hours, btw. We are, like, sew kewl.

More soon...

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Anne!! Drusilla knows what's going to happen in many ways. I think she is wanting to fill her time up before the inevitable happens....

Oh! I forgot to add on the quote credit. Well, it isn't a direct quote, but it's heavily influenced by James Merrill, from his poem: Matinee.

And as to Connor (or whomever) being wicked, weak, etc... I'm coming to terms with Connor being so conflicted. He was raised to believe things are black and white, good and evil. Putting his dad in a box and dumping him in the ocean is far from righteous, no matter what lies he may tell himself to sleep at night. How difficult it would be for him, a young man, childlike in his understanding of things, but with the strength of several men, the JOB of a man, to have such moral ambiguities like his father is something evil, but somehow is GOOD.

To process that, and make the decision to torture his father under the sea... And Drusilla HATES Angel. SHe loves/worships/loathes Angelus, but Angel? She cannot understand him. But she knows what "evil lurks in the heart of men" and preys upon that to weaken them for her. And Connor has some evil lurking in his heart.

But then, she loves family. She NEEDS someone. I think she's conflicted as well: he's human, broken, a perfect little dolly for her to play with. But: he's family and she needs him/wants him, so she can't play with him like she'd like. And she is certainly capable of love. We'll see. :-D

Anne, you just rock.

[violethamster.livejournal.com]

Oooh, lovely. You really succeed in conveying a mood. I love how you put these two together, how their interaction brings up all their issues and their issues make them seek out something in each other.

[lynnenne]

God, Laura, that was just gorgeous. Beautiful imagery, and you draw such poignant parallels between Dru and Connor. So full of rage and strength, yet eternally broken.

He would hold his breath when they sat, learning to be as still as she. Always in training - Holtz had taught him well.

This line just made me ache for him. Poor boy was doomed from the get go.

"Only the most wicked, my love. I'll punish them. I'll be just like Baby Brother. Righteous, I'll be."

Fantastic Dru voice. Lovely job.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It's funny. It seems so long when I wrote it, and looking up there, it's just a minute to read, huh?

Your thoughts on my Dru are important - YOU give good Dru. You and Adis723.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Okay, you made me tear up. It's hard for me to write "real fic" out here, because so many on my flist are SO GOOD, that I wonder if I can say anything new.

Thanks, Lynne. Connor and Dru make me ache because of that doomed from the get go bit.

*buys you flowers, rubs your feet*

[mskakaako.livejournal.com]

OH! I was so glad to see more of this and even happier still when you said it wasn't shippy! :D

I am so in love with this line...
She didn't feel the familiar and cruel ache in her belly - the ache that led to snapping of necks and dressing up dollies. She felt something squeezing her chest, she felt prickers in her eyes, and her arms felt empty.

The rest of it was amazing, but I just loved that line. Remember when we were chatting about how writing isn't easy and that not everyone can do it? Laura, you're an amazing writer and I'm not just saying that because I love you. This just knocks me over. I'm kind of a goopy mess because I'm slobbering over this story.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

First: the icon. Pleases me, it does.
Second: the check is in the mail.
Third: I am so happy you like this! (Seriously: thank you)

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

"Only the most wicked, my love. I'll punish them. I'll be just like Baby Brother. Righteous, I'll be."


Still my favorite part! Sorry I dropped the ball on you, but I got some sleep and am back in action. Anyway, I think you're doing a fantastic job here with why he'd be interested her and why she'd be interested in him. More? Like, sometime today?

[anelith.livejournal.com]

The Net has failed me this time, I googled for this poem and while I found several mentions of it, there was no actual transcription -- perhaps because it's a long one (it was described as such in one of the hits I came across). I have a decent collection of poetry at home but it's mostly old stuff, very little of the modern era.

Anyway, I love your discussion of Connor and Drusilla's conflicts and motives. "Childlike in his understanding of things" -- what a beautiful and true description of Connor. As we become adults we fill in the grey tones in our view of the world. He doesn't have those yet.

I think this is your best story so far.

[leeannaray.livejournal.com]

I don't think I ever would have thought of Connor and Drusilla, in a story together. But now that I'm reading it, it makes perfect sense. I've always liked Connor, but I haven't found much good fic about him. I'm glad you're changing that.

Your prose is beautiful, and your Drusilla voice is spot on. I am extremely envious of your talent.

24 more days til Stoneyfest.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Anne! This is more online with the type of RL writing I do, so I'm glad to know it works! (And, um, I would recommend you pick up some James Merrill. He has some of my most favorite lines written on paper in his works:

"I think now she was love. She sighed and glistened
All day with it, or pain, or both."

"One hour comes back - you gasping in my arms
With love, or laughter, or both"

Le sigh.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

no worries, and you know I'm more interested in you getting better than you typing up fb for me.

More, more, more. Coming....

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I know, right? It just seems right that they would seek each other out. To me, at least. Thank you for your kind words, and I will LAVISH you with fun when you get here in 24 days!!!

[tabaqui]

Ooooh, i like. Like like. Glad there's more of this!

Love that last line, all of it - thanks for rec'ing the poet.

*scampers to find more*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hooray!!

And thank you, thank you! (About James Merrill: his poem "Days of 1964" had more lines that I scribbled onto things... His writing is more like prose with a beat instead of poetry. Lurvly.)

[tabaqui]

Ooh, very cool. I love finding a new poet!
:)

[anelith.livejournal.com]

I didn't know you were doing writing out there in the real world where we couldn't see it, Laura. You been holding out on us? Now I'm all injured and going to pout. No, really, what are you up to? Not all my reading material has to have the Buffyverse characters in it, you know?

[desoto-hia873.livejournal.com]

Neat - it hadn't occurred to me before this that Dru and Connor were brother and sister. Good on ya!

[bouncymonkey.livejournal.com]

karabair sent me over here as I was looking for Connor fic - and I'm v. glad she did!

The relationship between Drusilla and Connor (and Spike too, I suppose) had never occurred to me before, and I really enjoyed reading this. Great Dru voice ;)

Looking forward to the next part.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I know, right? I just had an epiphany. Oh, okay, I had a dream that involved these two and then I realized they were relatives. In a way.

Thanks for reading!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! Yes, the Connor love is very strong in this LJ. I have another Connor fic, that I wrote during S4 - I FINALLY figured out how to get my head around Connor/Cordy. Very PG, in my memories under My Fic, Stephen/Connor.

I have an Angel/Connor that is very dark, and not for everyone (Karabair - usually stalwart and true couldn't read the third bit, and that's fine) and that is also in my memories. Anything in ros_fod's memories under Connor fic is going to be the cream of the crop.

And again, thanks for taking the time to comment!